Cancer & Cancer one night stand

Hi. I have a question concerning my sweet incident. This is kind of looong so bare with me. I'm overly sensitive and emotional so please don't yell at me, I know it wasn't my wisest decision. I met a Cancer male 7 months ago then at a common dinner with work colleagues. Work for same company in different countries, thus never met before. His appearance hit me immeadiately, it was like an aura that I was drawn to... I get quite flirty (but sensual) when I drink so it wasn't difficult to get him next to me, he was attracted to me as well. Asked questions like How come we had never met before.

The thing is, I thought of him more of a sex object at that point, and quite soon confessed jokingly that the first reaction I first saw him was Wow I want to have sex with you. That kinda was an ice-braker for him and we started talking about life in general (I have strong opinions about the situation in this world and he seemed fascinated by it). At some point somewhere in between me prieching about money-based economy he whispered he wanted to kiss me but preferably not in front all our 20 work mates. Don't remember answering, just smiled back. I went for toilet and when coming out, there he was standing and staring. No words, he took me away into a quiet concer, pulled me close to him and grabbed my long hair and there we waited a few seconds before the best kiss ever... I was in heaven and he said Wow what just happened..

A rerun and we got back to others, where he suddenly asked How do we do this, both living in different countries (1h flight apart). I was so surprised at this that I only mumbled something Maybe we don't have to think about it yet. I regret it now. But as said, I saw him more of a potential one night stand (hadn't had a man in looooong time) and not a boyfriend material. Some time later I sat next to him, he took my hand under the table and asked if we'll all go to an afterparty in one of our mates' hotel room (we're abroad, staying at a hotel). I whispered if he'd rather follow me to my room and he did, all our work mates witnessing! I was straightforward telling I want sex but got nervous him coming, he told he wants at least to see me naked.. In bed, he tried to put on brakes, told me he didn't want sex with me, of course he wants me but this is too fast, and can't we just hold each other. So we did, and fell asleep. Woke up at some point at night and well, things evolved. We would sleep a little and then continue..

...it was The Best Night. I never knew sex can be That Good. Who makes love to a stranger like that? A Cancer male. In the morning, with no alko left in our brains, we talked briefly what had happened. He wasn't thrilled about sleeping with a colleague but didn't say he regret it when I asked him. It didn't at least bother him so much that it would keep him from a yet one more rerun 🙂 When dressing, we would hug briefly and he left.

We saw each other, and the 20 colleagues who had witnessed us, at the hotel pool. I was insecure about my thoughts and shy for acting that aggressively, that I couldn't watch him, my colleague told me he was staring me intensively. I did nothing. It was only a few days after that it hit me, that I want more of him. Maybe it was all our mates, the environment that blocked me from contacting him. I flew home, looked him up on FB and sent a msg. He would reply on chat. He flew home and away again for a holiday trip. At this point I was madly intoxicated. Don't know what happened, but I sent a FB msg telling I want to see him again. He would reply Blaa Blaa, you're a nice but I don't think my feelings are as strong as yours, I hate to disapp you. I understood and let him be. Well some weeks later I saw him abroad, and the feelings came rushing back. He came to say hello at the hotel pool, we chatted about his travels, me all shy again, then he started going but asked Or? I couldn't say anything :/ In the evening I took a grabb on myself and invited him out with me and mates by txt, he was already out with his mates and told he might pop in. He never did, but sent a txt later at night telling he got stuck and did we go bowling. I replied and flew back home early next morn.

I sent him a txt a week later asking how he was and he replied. The same next week. Again week after I ask if he'd meet me; he was coming to my country. I kept the invitationlight and funny. He called next day telling It'd be nice to see you but I don't want to mislead you, nothing is going to happen. I asked why not and he: I have been in this situation (he and she trying to hold a long-distance relationship) before and I know I would only get worse. My instincts are telling me this isn't going to work out. And that he anyways has a later flight so we wouldn't even have time. I made a comment referring to our hot night, a funny one, and he laughed. It was a good conversation although again I couldn't tell him everything I wanted.

..like how do tell someone you have fallen for them after a One night? He'd think I'm strange -well I guess he already thought so due to my different kind of thoughts on life itself.. Or he said so the first night, You're fucked up, in a good way 🙂. On the phone btw I apologised if I had bothered him with me contacting him and he said not at all,

So the question here I guess is, what happened? Too much in too little time, me sleeping with him after knowing nothing about him, me pursuing him on txt msges and unable to say anything in person. I know there was the chemistry, the first night, the second time we met after weeks and even on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting at home waiting something to happen with him, I've kept myself in motion with my hobbies, new-bought cottage and even meeting other men. But I think about it everyday. I guess I hope we would bump into each other at work, it could happen now or after one year. What I'm trying to resist hard is to keep me from messaging him.. He took my breath away.

Me: sun moon Cancer, Venus Taurus, mars libra, merc gem, Asc sagittarius. Him: sun merc Cancer, Moon sagittarius, Venus gem, mars leo.

Before sex, women are clear emotionally and mentally but after sex we get brain fog. Men have brain fog before sex but after, they see everything very clearly. Generally speaking not in all cases.

Your initial instincts were good before sex and the chemical release.
It was meant to be a one night stand. It's time to bow out and hack it up to a delicious experience.

Posted by LunarMaiden
Before sex, women are clear emotionally and mentally but after sex we get brain fog. Men have brain fog before sex but after, they see everything very clearly. Generally speaking not in all cases.

Your initial instincts were good before sex and the chemical release.
It was meant to be a one night stand. It's time to bow out and hack it up to a delicious experience.

+1

Posted by Pecheresse

Posted by LunarMaiden
Before sex, women are clear emotionally and mentally but after sex we get brain fog. Men have brain fog before sex but after, they see everything very clearly. Generally speaking not in all cases.

I so know what book you're reading atm....

click to expand

Actually, I was paraphrasing something my father told me. What book did you have in mind?

Posted by LunarMaiden
Before sex, women are clear emotionally and mentally but after sex we get brain fog. Men have brain fog before sex but after, they see everything very clearly. Generally speaking not in all cases.

Your initial instincts were good before sex and the chemical release.
It was meant to be a one night stand. It's time to bow out and hack it up to a delicious experience.

Ha, I was just about to say the same thing. I'd let it go and just keep the memory. If you can keep him as a friend (without it making you feel weird that is), great. If not, oh well. At least you got some amazing sex out of it, lol.