Cancer chasers

I keep reading the sane thing for everybody so thought id post. Most of the time cancers are not acting a way or saying certain things ecause of you. Also cancers meet you were you're at. If you always text they will think you prefer text and will text. If you don't communicate about important things they will initially try but if they see you are open they won't be open to you and will act just as oblivious as you are. If you barely contact them they will barely contact you. If you are honest with them they will be honest with you. If you lie to them they will lie to you. If you let them be there for you on your tough moments they will let you be there for them. If you won't show that you want a commitment and you are ready-if they want it too they will commit. If you are Luke warm towards them they will be Luke warm to you. If you tell them you don't want a relationship they will stop treating you like a potential mate and treat you like a regular person off the street. If you are not official and the two if you didn't make that clear, you are not committed. Cancers need a official stamp of commitment before they give you the world and be open and available to you 24/7. And they are Alpha people with insecurities. They want to be your priority. Show them that they are your priority and they will make you a priority too. Cheat on them and they will cheat on you. Have any questionable shit around and they won't take you seriously enough to move to a commitment and then will give you the same. Questionable means too many "friends" if the opposite sex, over clingy, someone that blames ogten, people who play victim, people who get angry too fast or can't have civil arguments, people who manipulate and control, people who only wants ego strokes. Cancers run from this and it always ends up fucked up because cancer can't have the happy married with kids life like that. CANCERS NEED TO BE TOLD THINGS NOT ONLY SHOWN. When a cancer says thighs they mean it just how they say it. They expect the same. And if you don't they'll think it wasn't important enough for you anyway and will quietly move on or go back to being alone. And even though people say cancers are clingy they love alone time just as much as social time. I don't know about cancer men but cancer women like strong and confident men. No cancer can turn down a strong and confident man. Strong so you don't not talk to her because you are scared or confused or waiting for her to act. They are more feminine.

Dont take this personally... Im
Insomniac and im on pissy mood so I'm going to grumpy cat your comment...

All is true...

What the FUCK are cancer people think they are mother teresa—? Is like they are this inmaculate perfect being who do no mistakes... They do just pretend their shit doesn't stink...

What they think when...

Cancer do it to rest of us
I hurt u? = "oopsy didnt mean it"
I have flaw = "nobody is perfect"
MIA= "i need my alone time and i go through cycles"

..."But i love you... Why can you see it?"

Rest us do it to cancer
I hurt you = "fvck you, you dont love me and you ever did"
I have flaws = " i dont like to associatw with you questionable trails"
MIA= " you dont love and you ever did"
Other things= "you dont love me and you ever did"

Once they acknowledge that... The loving and awesome part within them balances up...

Hahhaha just like the jocker i feel like being sleep depreived is making say thing i should not have...

Fullwater I was there too because of a cancer but I stopped trying to read her and just started TALKING TO HER about these things and everything changed. Cancers do have a arrogant vibe to them on the outside but this goes for a lot of their ways. What you see is sometimes not what is going on on the inside. I don't know about all cancers but conversations with my friend has helped me understand her a lot. And guess what— THEY JUST WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD without someone telling them what they are an why they do what they do. They take time into people. I had to ask because it didn't look like she did with me at times but when she explained how she works inside and how she takes time with them, then I understood. Maybe it's the sag moon and libra rising with my from cancer friend but she does not cling to people unless they let her know out of their mouth and their actions that that's what they want. And I thought about it and all the people she calls and texts and chills for on a regular basis and doesn't disappear on are people that haven't been scared to talk to her and open up to her and be honest with her and they both initiate. She said once she knows someone is genuine and consistent she will let them in her life and will not shut you out. She said when people are fake or they lie about stuff she starts to back off and gives them a fake "relationship" and that's when she will poof and disappear on them until she can't do a fake relationship. I asked her what she means by fake she said when she someone is not being honest about how they really feel about her, when someone has "friends" they talk to on the side and try to tell her they are just friends, when she knows you talk about her behind her back or spread her business, when she can't rely on you to be there for her especially after she was there for the other person, when she knows you have hate towards her but you don't come out and solve it with her, when the relationship is this for that and no real love, when you your behavior changes with her and not with everybody else, lots of other stuff but that's what I remember. Anything like that will make them back off or go from open when they first met you to closed. She said she likes to give people enough freedom to act how they would normally act if she didn't intervene so that's why she will give you space an wait for you to let her know you want to hookup or talk. She said when she was younger she was nice and open and straightforward with e

With people and would do nice things but the people who weren't used to that would call her manipulative and controlling. She said that type of thing hurts her the most with people because she pays a lot of attention to people and she takes her time in how she approaches people she cares about and what she does for them so when they reject her and then accuse her of being manipulative and controlling she gets sad and angry and just drops them like she doesn't know them. I asked why she doesn't just tell them that she did it to be nice. She said because they won't believe her because in their mind they are trying to rationalize how I person could be so nice and that it must be from manipultion so she doesn't feel the need to try to plead her case after she stuck her hand out their and got bitten. She said if the other person has mental issues like that where they can't accept her love style then she knows in her heart that it will never work and will drop it. She said when she really loves or cares about the person it hurts the most to have to force yourself to let go of the person. She ends up going in her shell to get over that hurt while she makes herself happy again by being around people that love her and by doing things that make her happy. Cancers are silent but their force is brutal. They don't say a lot of the things they know or want you to know because they want it to happen naturally mixed in with happening the way you prefer it to happen because they want to be sure you are in this for the long run--because they know they are in it. She does not waste time on pointless relationships. She has tons of acquaintances but they are not pointless ecause she goes out with those people or learns something from them or something. An those people get the polite version of her but they don't get the loving and caring version. She puts a lot of work into her loving relationships and NEEDS depth and connection for these type of relationships. So these are the people who she will always immediately call or text back, she will always rely on them and they will rely on her, she will tell them about allll her secrets and even tell info that most people would be embarrassed to tell. So that's your answer. I don't think they think they are mother Teresa I think they know their flaws better then most people because they are honest with themselves. We or cancer chasers like to call them manipulative and controlling and goody two shoes because we are hurt that they d

Don't show us the same affection teu show to other people. My cancer grew up with both parents being very educated ad from the south so they raised her to have class and etiquette and poise so she naturally is very polite and "goody". But she hates it when people look at that and look at her money or her career and her talents and think...oh cancer thinks she is so good and better then us and she fake because she has a dark side. This is hurtful to her because people don't take the time to get to know her and just make labels for her. She knows that she has a dark side and she knows she can be a rotten egg. THEY don't think they are mother Teresa YOU do and the shit you give them they give back.If anyone and I mean anyone just asked her about it she will tell them that she's good but she's also rotten and she will tell you why. She even told her boss who is a famous judge that she has rotten qualities after he complimented her on her work ethic and good nature. She said she was like....thank you, I appreciate it. But I am not good natured 100 percent of the time I have my days where I have to fake a smile when I come to work or when I really want to just quit because humanity will never learn what real love is.WHOA. She said the judge just looked at her like he was confused and then said that's why you are on my team. You are honest through and through and said he had the same darkness and now he talks to her about things in a more straightforward honest way. And she does too and she is not a lawyer but she is above now most of the lawyers on his team. That's what I mean. That's what cancer chasers need to understand about cancers. They are good at keeping secrets and have the patience of paint drying on wall. They are totally in control of their emotions--at least my cancer is. So you need to just straight up talk to them like they are a regular person. Since they don't know how people will react to them and their eccentric ways of being and loving they don't really approach unless they know you are really interested and if loving you won't backfire and blow up in their faces.

You cannot keep assuming you know why a cancer does or says what they do and how they feel. You need to stop talking to everyone else about cancer and talk to cancer only because only they can tell you. And when you talk to them don't scheme or play games because they will know it and will think you are playing games and will back off. Think of it this way. Cancers have lots of admirers so they are game to all of the games people play to get what they want. Cancers don't prefer to play games but they will if you keep doing it and eventually they will get tired of playing and will drop you. Once they drop you and you try to get back in it will be hard because they don't know if this is another game or what so they won't put the same amount of effort they put in before. Then cancer chaser sees they're not putting in the same amount of effort then gets pissed and accuses the cancer of playing games, playing with emotions, being manipulative and controlling and then gets angry and does stupid shit to further piss off cancer. Then cancer cuts them off again or gets pissed to and then cancer becomes a rotten egg and does stupid shit too and then it ends badly. No. You gotta stop the tug of war and just be plain and simple. They know when they're full of shit and most times hate being that way but feel they have to to protect them. When they fuck up tell them they fucked up and why. Tell them without losing your cool and ask cancer to fix it and how they can fix it. Make them apologize.When you fuck up say your do the same and ask cancer to communicate with you when you have hurt them. You'll be surprised but this dialogue is the answer. When a cancer knows you are theirs and vice versus then they will literally live and die for you I'm not playing. They see you as them and they will provide and protect you the same way they do for themself

Posted by thinktoomuch
Starchild you never did answer my question: are you in a relationship with a cancer woman?

No I'm not but our relationship is verrrry healthy now and we don't struggle anymore. She I wide open and isn't the same person. She doesn't shut me out and when she feels she's about to she tells me and why then I tell her why I don't want to be shut out and compromise with her so she won't shut me out and she compromise with me. In all of our years of knowing each other we have never had this type of relationship. She doesn't hold anything back and I don't have to test her and size her up for answers. Now all I have to do is ask and she will tell me the 100peexent honest truth. I had to learn to stop reacting to things I THOUGHT meant she didn't like me or hated me or things done on purpose to piss me off. Turns out she doesn't do those things and was and is going through a lot in her personal life. And she also told me I creep her out and she used to keep her distance but when I showed her that I can handle her and her decisions and I can talk to her about things bluntly without drama then she opened up very easily. You couldn't even tell we had so many problems some months ago. This cancer board helped me a lot and I wanted to help too. And truth is I don't mind if I'm with her or not I now appreciate out time spent. And even tho I would prefer that she pick me I wouldn't mind if she picked someone else because even with friendship I feel completely loved and accepted. As long as the dude she picks is good to her I can honestly say I don't mind.

Need. Spaces. Between. That. Long. Block. Of. Words

Gahh

Sorry. I type when doing other things.

Virgo I think I can read between the lines. You have a bad temper? You have a hard time being real about your real thoughts and feelings? Did the friends she told you not to talk to what was wrong with them? Why did she tell you not to talk to them? Like I said when I cancer cares for you they protect you. Cancers can read people better then most even better then aquas or Taurus or libra. Cancers are like human lie detectors. She probably saw something in your friends that was dishonest or something that would turn out bad in the long run. Cancers are action people so you will see their love through actions te most. So sounds like that was her looking out for her friend. And does she text you Gn and shit? What she probably did was overreact from a simple Gn text but what she was saying without saying it was I want you to show me that you care about me by communication more or letting me know that you did think of me before you slept or whatever. Communication is their downfall their ducked up communication makes things like this confusing. And cancers are better face to face then on the phone so sometimes when they prefer to see you then to talk to you or text you it's because they like to see your face and experience the moment. Guess it's easier for them. They are sort of socially awkward on the phone or text or social media. That's why they are always out at social events and when they go out they are total different people then normally because that's their comfort zone. They are loud and confident and crazy cool. But on the phone it's a one word text or they only call to say meet me here or only straight answers. Probably why people say on the phone they are some shit but in person it's perfect and blissful. Plus when a cancer is in their alone time I think they are busy doing projects so they don't really want to talk much and might only text or call real quick to say hey I'm still alive and just wanted to let you know I'm around.

Anytime. But when you get mad you break shit and wild out? Oh hell yea a cancer will shut you out! They don't like that type of a behavior or reaction. I know my friend doesn't do ok with people that lash out but then are passive. Passive aggressive? That would make anyone uncomfortable because you don't know when their next outbreak is and because they are passive in their communication then aggressive when the person guesses the wrong thing they tried to communicate and end up lashing out destroying shit and saying hurtful shit. If this is how it goes with you and your guy then this is why. He probably doesn't want to deal with that shit or with walking on eggshells so he distances himself to love you from a distance. This behavior makes it real hard to have any type of meaningful relationship and that's what cancers want. Oh the aggressive part doesn't always have to be violent it could also be doing something like not liking what the cancer said or did then withdrawing with hatred. Cancers know when you are bitter and smoldering. So when you go from passive to withdrawing in pissy anger even if you don't say anything about it or try to hold back your violent reactions they will know you're bitter and will feel like they shouldn't approach you because if they do you might blowup on them and then they would have to deal with bringing your anger back down and trying to communicate with a passive person who can't take headon dialogue. It's like this--cancers don't mind a good fight because they are fighters and can tango with you. But they are lovers before they are fighters and they only fight when it makes sense to. If they see that fighting with you will get them nowhere-because you have your own emotional problems that cloud your judgement-they will not fight with you. They will just distance themself. But if you are an emotionally balanced and fair fighter-like if you can manage your emotions and argue like a adult without throwing a temper tantrum because if your own emotional downfalls--they will fight with and for you and they will not distance themself when you want to talk or fight they will meet you headon and they won't hold back. Cancers have bad tempers and when they come across people that do that kinda thing it never ends good. And they know it. They know they will end up fighting them for real so they just avoid them.

Virgo you are confusing. If this is what he deals with I would get tired of it. You don't seem like a decisive person and you seem like you put slit of blame on him when you're the one asking for confusion. You say you don't want him to turn your back on him but not be possessive. Look. Cancers are already not possessive so if you tell them "don't possess me" in so many words they will let go and eventually bounde. They see people who put up the "don't turn your back on me!" But then again "don't possess me" as not worth the struggle or playing games. It's like they see a red light and a green light at the same time so first they act like it's a yellow light and if you keep the "don't possess me" act they will make it a red light and stop dead in their tracks. If you do that then say "don't turn your back on me and you can possess me" the see green like and keep their emotions and vocals wide open. Cancers for some reason have lots of pride and they won't let you play "games" with them. If your cancer isn't giving then something is wrong in the relationship or he isn't into you.

I do not know how to send messages. I need you, I think only you can give me the clarity I need on a particular issue I'm having. @starchild63

In a cancers mind there is no middle ground in their relationships. The are intense people. They think like this-either your with me or against me. All or nothing. It's not right and that's the downfall of crabs. They are sensitive when you comes to people they really care about and love. Sure they can have middle ground with associates and stuff but not with people they love. Because their love is too strong and that makes everything in the relationship too strong......or too weak if you reject their intense displays of love and caring. A cancer will possess you but let them it'll feel amazing. And they are pretty fair people and know when they fucked up--but in love it's hard to get them to admit that. Just talk to her about it. Tell her look I can choose who I want to be friends with thanks for your input and I'll be considering it but for real for real I will do what I want and you need to except that. If I get hurt ok but stay out. Then crab will pull back and you won't ever have to mention it again. Then....the crab won't give you any input or "possess" you with anything then you'll turn around and wonder what happened to all the love and looking out for you. Sorry too many cancer stories I get mixed up.

Well I told my cancer how much I cared about him etc and he abandoned me sooo....they definitely don't seem to want to reciprocate. They seem to do the bare minimum and then disappear. I dunno this was for the very first post.

Hey op, maybe you can give me some insight on my post..?

I'll read your post hol up

Your welcome VG

Posted by StarChild63
In a cancers mind there is no middle ground in their relationships. The are intense people. They think like this-either your with me or against me. All or nothing. It's not right and that's the downfall of crabs. They are sensitive when you comes to people they really care about and love. Sure they can have middle ground with associates and stuff but not with people they love. Because their love is too strong and that makes everything in the relationship too strong......or too weak if you reject their intense displays of love and caring. A cancer will possess you but let them it'll feel amazing. And they are pretty fair people and know when they fucked up--but in love it's hard to get them to admit that. Just talk to her about it. Tell her look I can choose who I want to be friends with thanks for your input and I'll be considering it but for real for real I will do what I want and you need to except that. If I get hurt ok but stay out. Then crab will pull back and you won't ever have to mention it again. Then....the crab won't give you any input or "possess" you with anything then you'll turn around and wonder what happened to all the love and looking out for you. Sorry too many cancer stories I get mixed up.

How exactly is the all or nothing attitude our downfall?

i'm a cancer woman.. and tbf i kinda agree with what you said in your first post. however, you need to understand that cancerians are scared to get rejected, that's why sometimes we don't message, if you don't and etc.. we go with the flow, we like to please people. if we feel that somebody needs us, we will be there! and do everything.. the thing is - we need to SEE & FEEL that you need us.. otherwise we don't want to be pushy and definitely don't want to be rejected. nothing worse than offering help or being there for someone and then feeling they did not need it or they did not appreciate.. i guess what I'm trying to say is - cancers need some credit for everything we do.. pretty sad, but thats the way it goes..
p.s. sorry for my english, not native 😄