Cancer Man Confusing...

Hi everyone! First message (fingers crossed I do this right...), I made an account just because I am VERY much so lost & in need of some understanding of Cancers - or Cancer men in particular.

For starters, I'm a Leo woman & I've known this guy for years - we shared the same circle of friends in secondary school & even went to college at the same place. I've had a very prolonged crush on him about 80% of the time I've known him, but I never told anyone about it except one girlfriend of mine because I was very much so the "ugly duckling" of our friends and had already convinced myself that it was pointless to try and make something out of nothing. This was about the time a mutual girlfriend had learned that I had a crush on him and decided to "pursue" him (I can't say she really pursued him as she allowed him to hang out with her, she would go to him to cry on his shoulder, he would drop everything to be with her). We were all friends, so we would all hang out, etc. I never made a big issue of it and I kind of licked my wounds in private.

About two years ago, we really started talking/semi-flirting (I think it was more on my part than his); this mutual girlfriend of ours had basically let things go with him (she told my best friend he was just someone to make her feel good when she needed it). We didn't really hang out or see one another, we would just text, send each other stupid messages, stuff like that. He invited me to a graduation party and I DID go, but I spent the majority of the time just sitting there awkwardly until it was time for me to leave - and that was the most we spoke. I decided to have a party a few months ago and I invited him to it. I WAS casually seeing someone at this time but I wound up kissing him for a lot of the night and didn't know what to do afterward. I figured it would be best to clear away my attachments before I led him on - I did tell him I was seeing someone & that I wanted us to be friends before anything else. He agreed... months of silence.

A few weeks ago we started talking again and we hung out again, but this time it was just us. We talked a lot about future plans & goals, and I even drunkenly confessed that I'd had a crush on him for years but had never plucked up the courage to say it sooner. When he asked why, I flat out said that I was sure he had a fling with our mutual girlfriend, but he promptly denied that either of them were a thing. Either way, I told him I liked him - a lot. We did hook up (but no sex), and I stayed the night. We've been texting on/off since then, but one day he'll tell me about his past, his childhood, his parents, etc. and then he'll completely disappear. He has casually brought up the mutual girlfriend's name since then in our last conversation and when I responded that we didn't talk anymore, he just disappeared once again.

Am I wasting my time? Or is this normal for a Cancer? I can provide additional details for clarification... please help!

Oh dear, another Cancer man on the disappearing & stringing along act. I pity you yet. A lot of patience is needed to deal with Cancers.

everything sounds normal

Most cancer men are on a emotional roller coaster themselves. If it's not something you can handle its best to stay away.

Thanks everyone for the input, it helps! I guess if I expect to keep a friendship with him, I'm just going to have to deal with the in & out nature of his communication... oh well.

Posted by MiZLeo
I've never had this issue with Cancer men.....and my husband has a Gemini mars...always changing his damn mind. He pursued me hard and said he knew he was going to marry me the first time we went out....

Maybe you should stop throwing yourself at him while you're drunk. That seems to be the only time you really talk to him about liking him. I'd be turned off by that, wouldn't you? You are being hot and cold with him also if you don't realize it.

He probably brought up the friend to see if you'd get jealous, and you didn't take the bait so he went into his shell where I'm convinced they keep their blueprints on how they are going to manipulate people.

Honestly girl, I don't think he really likes you. Move on and find someone else. You're a leo....I'm sure you have a few guys waiting around.

I never acknowledged that I was being hot and cold with him, I suppose that's probably an issue for me that I need to look at a little more closely. He's never addressed the whole thing "confession" with me anyway, so I'm not surprised if it made things weird.

Lol, I do attract plenty of Aries but... no thanks!