cancer scared of relationship

We are really close "friends" for almost 2 years

Talk everyday, flirt, always there for one another

I am very expressive with my actions, he is as well

He rarely expresses verbally but when he does even if its vague i cherish it because I know the depth of his feelings without him having to say it.

We have never gotten in a fight or argument..

But the other day I got upset.

He told me that he was out drinking and was talking to his friends girlfriend about me.

He claims he does not remember anything that he said or asked but only the fact that she said I sound like a player.

I got offended, because I am nothing like a player. If anything he is the one that "plays games"

I know its just his way of constantly testing me and thats okay I know he likes to be sure of things and he has been hurt in the past pretty bad.

Anyways I kept asking what he said for her to label me that way...

He kept saying he didnt remember because he was so drunk

I pretty much lost it saying that I am not even close to a player especially with him.

Then I sent a huge message spilling my feelings and straight up asking him if he ever seen a chance of us being in a relationship and if he just wanted friendship or what?

He told me that he is difficult and that he has thought about being with me but he is scared of getting in a relationship and that he doesnt want to ruin what we have as friends. He said he knows what he wants but at the same time he "has too much going on"

I told him that I am as well scared to get in a relationship and that I am willing to risk it. Take a chance for him.

He says that he really cares a lot about me but things will be different if we are together and he doesn't want to ruin what we have.

I told him i understand and he tells me he feels horrible and hes sorry.

I have not spoke to him since but...

I just feel he needs time. I feel he wants it but he is scared as hell because he was hurt in the past.

How do I handle this situation?

I feel like letting him come to me I am not going to contact him give him his space because I already know there is a lot on his mind after that conversation.

I feel like he is going to pop up when its too late... I cannot wait around forever. But thats the thing, I would wait for him if he gave me something to work with.

Do I continue the same friendship we have and just be patient see what happens.

Or do I need to make him realize that I am not going to wait forever

So tell me Im stupid to wait around

or any suggestions on how to handle this situation with him

We have said I love you before

He freaks out if he thinks im mad or dont talk to him

When he doesnt have a phone he goes out of his way to use someone elses to talk to me

He was calling me off of his moms phone everynight when he lost his phone...

This friendship is just... feels like more than a friendship but not quite a relationship if that makes sense.

Its kind of hard for me to continue the friendship the way it is when I know we both have feelings more than just friends.

Do I suck it up be his friend? Or do I put my foot down and let reality slap him in the face?

I do not want to scare him off or make him feel more insecure but im just at a standstill.

I feel in my heart there is still a chance if i am patient and play my cards right.

But thats the thing I have never went after a man before, this is a first time scenario for me.

I cant wait around forever though...

I literally turn guys down because i have so much feelings for him even though we are not together.

I just have hope I guess.

I am a Leo by the way