Confused Aries tries to win her cancer love back

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this site, and i'm looking for some answer, even if they're rude. I am not american or british so pls be aware of my bad grammar and wordings, I'll try to keep everything as simple and clear as it is.
I have dated a cancer male for 7 months and from the beginning he asked me to move in his place. I resigned my job and i left my family&friends to be with him (he lives 2 countries apart) and moved to his place. I loved (still love) him a lot, but i was afraid of being hurt and after 3 weeks i just packed my stuff and left. A week later I called him I got a job offer in my home country and I accepted it.
2 weeks later we met again (I was there to pick up the rest of my stuff from his place) and we just had 12 hrs. We were talking a lot (almost the whole night) and he said, he is really in love with me and he is so sad that i just left after such a short time.
I came home, and we were still in touch (texts, calls, mails) and he still said he loves me and he misses me and he said he is regretting the fact that he didn't try to make me stay....and I was crying for night regretting I left him.
Couple of week later we had a very bad fight over the phone (both of us were on a wedding, but separate) and he told me i was inrespectful, and i told him bad things and he would like to ask me to forget him.
A week later sent him a mail with all my confession how i love him and i apologised to tell him those things (i was a bit drunk, i don't remember) and he answered he loves me and he misses me and he won't lie about these things, but i have to let the things be and we'll see if we still have a common future. He said, if I will ask him if he wants to be with him, he would immediately say, "yes" but i cannot ask him now when i am so far away.
When I told him later I am going to visit the city where he lives, he asked me to stay with him over the weekend, but he made me aware, it doesn't mean he will take me back. He can't take me back right now because he is too hurt and the things are too fresh.

We'll meet next weekend. Since yesterday I don't have any contact. On tuesday I sent him a love letter again, and he replied, that he doesn't know what he should answer and i left him without a way of knowing how to talk to me. Since this answer i broke up all contact to him. I am wondering what I can expect? Or just let the things go and don't visit him?

I would resign and move again. I know he won't ask me to stay with him again

Are you Greek?

No, but I'm from the EU.

Now that you have a job again in your homecountry and the potential for a career, what do YOU really want to do? Forget about him for a sec and think about yourself. I am in Europe as well and you know the employment situation right now here, do you think it's wise to drop your job and run behind him? Is he also from your homecountry working elsewhere or is he a national of another EU country?

He is also EU citizen, working in a third country (EU as well). I don't see the employment situation so bad, i speak 3 EU languages, I also have the option to work in the country where he lives.
I was thinking of me of course I was. Within the EU it's not so tough to get a job (its only my opinion). We both are from western EU.

Posted by agis
He is also EU citizen, working in a third country (EU as well). I don't see the employment situation so bad, i speak 3 EU languages, I also have the option to work in the country where he lives.
I was thinking of me of course I was. Within the EU it's not so tough to get a job (its only my opinion). We both are from western EU.

Well if you believe that there is no negative impact on your career then I see no problems. It's a question of patching things with him and saying you want to give it another honest attempt.

Interestingly, I live in the European country with the highest standard of living (probably even the world) and even here I wouldn't claim that the employment situation is great. Your view is interesting, I am guessing you are not part of the financial/banking sector.

Let me put it this way: I'm optimistic.....🙂 But only in terms of getting a new job (I'm more into the challenge...aries, remember?)
I already lost him because I put my career in front of him and I don't want to do this anymore. In my home country I've found in 2 weeks a new job (better paid and with far better conditions as the previous one).
But its not a career portal, and its not about the professions. It's about the feelings I' ve for hime, and I want to get him back.

Posted by agis
Let me put it this way: I'm optimistic.....🙂 But only in terms of getting a new job (I'm more into the challenge...aries, remember?)
I already lost him because I put my career in front of him and I don't want to do this anymore. In my home country I've found in 2 weeks a new job (better paid and with far better conditions as the previous one).
But its not a career portal, and its not about the professions. It's about the feelings I' ve for hime, and I want to get him back.

LOL...you are the one who put your career ahead of your feelings. So what happened in two weeks that changed your mind? Look at your history, you go to the man for 3 weeks and then leave him and 3 weeks later you want him back. I am afraid to tell you that Cancers don't deal well with this sort of volatility. You might have one more shot at it but that would depend on him completely.

I think you are just an Aries... you like the thrill of the chase and new adventure. Once you have it you get bored, have doubts... then you're gone and on to the next thing. Then you get all emotional with regret and after some tears and a few temper tantrums... you'll go back to doing the same thing.

If your Cancer guy likes drama (which many do).. keep it up and enjoy yourselves! 🙂 I've seen 2 Aries fem/Cancer male couples like this.

Posted by shellshocker
I think you are just an Aries... you like the thrill of the chase and new adventure. Once you have it you get bored, have doubts... then you're gone and on to the next thing. Then you get all emotional with regret and after some tears and a few temper tantrums... you'll go back to doing the same thing.

If your Cancer guy likes drama (which many do).. keep it up and enjoy yourselves! 🙂 I've seen 2 Aries fem/Cancer male couples like this.

It wasn't about being bored with him...I was afraid of him. No one loved me the way he did/does....and I was shocked, that something like this exist. I thought he will hurt me, since I revealed myself completely to him...

I constantly wanted him, I wasn't chaning my mind week by week. I never told him, I don't want him. He broke up because I said, I want to pursue my carrier back in my home country and he didn't wanted to have a longdistance relationship again (we had that kind of relationship for 5 months).

I know he is hurt...I only want to figure out, how to make him feel secure about my feelings, and that I won't run away again...how to convience him, that I am still that person he fell in love with.

Posted by agis

Posted by shellshocker
I think you are just an Aries... you like the thrill of the chase and new adventure.
.

I was afraid of him. No one loved me the way he did/does....and I was shocked, that something like this exist. I thought he will hurt me, since I revealed myself completely to him...

I constantly wanted him, I wasn't chaning my mind week by week. I never told him, I don't want him. He broke up because I said, I want to pursue my carrier back in my home country

I know he is hurt...I only want to figure out, how to make him feel secure about my feelings, and that I won't run away again...how to convience him, that I am still that person he fell in love with.

click to expand

IMO it will never be the same again... now you're going to have to work so hard cause he'll be protecting his feelings and testing you every step of the way. I don't know how old you are but that kind of total loving is what Cancers want/need. If you were scared of it and ran away... far, far away and put your career before him... idk.

If you thought the loving was intense, the potential for emotional manipulation and pay back from a hurt Cancer is HUGE. I'm imagining it in my head and honestly.. I feel sorry for any woman who would want to take that on.

messy, messy mind fuckery

Im 29 yrs, he is 31.
I wasn't into my career..it was only an excuse for me...a reason why I move back.

There are no words how much I love him. Never loved anybody like this before. I thought I was already in love...but it was a lie, a fake feeling. I am so devastated...!

We'll meet next weekend. I hope we will be able to talk. About everything.

Posted by aurora
I'm more optimistic than shellshocker,

haha.. ya, it's probably all my dark Pluto taking over. If they are meeting to talk.. this whole thing might just prove to be a test that proves their love is real and can withstand anything! (I like my Neptune much better)

good luck Aries girl!

Thank you for all your support.

I will go on with being myself, honest, open, and lovely as I always did.

Fingers crossed, taht he loves me more as I hurt him.

Well, it's been the third day today...he did not call or text me. I am a bit sad, but try to consider this as "leaving him time to think about".

Many thanks for the thoughts you wrote me, they made me thinking a lot - I also try to know myself better.

I am not a hectic Aries. I did some research and I figured out, what my moon, sun etc are. I found following:
Asc: Sagittarius
Sun: Aries
Moon: Scorpio
Mercure: Aries
Venus: Taurus
Mars: Aries
Jupiter: Sagittarius
Saturnus: Scorpio
Uranus: Sagittarius
Neptunus: Sagittarius
Pluto: Libra

I never believed in astrology, but since I was reading to desciptions of the cancer males (I hope I'm not obsessed) I found it pretty interesting..In terms of decsription of myself, its very good I had to admit.

I'm getting into some panic...what if he doesn't text or call me until next thursday? We're supposed to meet on friday afternoon...OMG I'm in such a trouble.

Since we're living more than a thousand km away, I don't see any option from his side to get back to the long-distance thing, and he won't ask me to stay...so I am prepairing myself for having a nice weekend with him, with a lot of conversations (we can talk about everything) and fun, but on sunday...I'll leave and done. I decided not to talk about my feelings, until he is not asking. I told him many times during our phone calls how much I am regretting, how I feel, and how unhappy I am. I don't want to push him, and if he my will talk about his feelings and tell me how hurt he is I gonna stop him by telling: "I'm hurt as well, I feel also lost and devastated, but I am here to figure our thing out"

I am sad. So sad..😢

I sent him yesterday a short message, and he replied that he is looking forward to see me, so I'm not as worried as I was a couple of days ago.
In 3 days we gonna meet, and I hop we gonna have a lots of fun🙂

I'm pretty convienced, he's gonna ask me a lot of questions, so I have to be well prepared.

I want believe, that he will forgive me my insane runaway 🙂

We had a short phone coversation this morning and he said, he's gonna take a half day off to pick me up at the airport. And he also asked me, if I want to join him on a party tomorrow evening (he's been asked by a collegaue-and he told him-I'll be there).
So, I am really excited now, since he is "looking forward to see you soon" and he was really nice over the phone.

OMG I have to survive🙂