Darkside revisited

Cancer is a grumpy, secretive, passive-aggressive grudge hoarder, with bipolar mood swings and a positive genius for pointless worrying. You are grumpy, moody, wingy, snappy, graceless, gloomy, grudge-encrusted, devious and fretful. You distrust life and have no faith in the future. To build immunity against fate's random cruelty, you look for homeopathic doses of gloom wherever you scuttle. You well up over anything lonely and hopeless. You love to whine about everything and everyone and are shameless addicted to other's misfortune.

You remember everything nasty anybody ever said about you. You never give away your own emotional secrets. People think you are shy and diffident and you work hard to promote that illusion, but in reality, you are afraid people might use your secrets against you. You don't do confrontation; sniping and preemptive defense are your preferred attack modes. Only a very lost cause or a slight to a family member's honor will get a Cancer to fight.

You can only really relate to someone if you feel needed. You can make lovers and friends feel permanently guilty without them ever knowing why. What you like best is attaching yourself to someone who has made it clear that they are unavailable long-term and then pining when they leave you. Crabs of all genders suffer from the Mistress Syndrome. You play hard to get with sex. Your lovers are blinded by lust so they keep trying to get through your impenetrable barrier. You know that deferred gratification is the key to keeping people hanging on. When you do finally let someone have their way with you, you lay in a frenzy of passion-slaying worry...will the bed creak? Will I still love you tomorrow? Have I put the cat out? You never give up on ex-lovers. You also never dump in a relationship. You make yourself even grumpier, moodier and more depressed than usual so that they want to leave you. Ex-lovers have to emigrate, marry someone else and die before you will accept that it is over.

Bosses like you because you work hard. You work harder and longer than anyone else because then you can feel hard done by and can bewail your sorry lot in life. You also like a job for which you are overqualified so that you can feel superior and tell everybody else what to do.

Your home is full of stuff. You keep everything. Clutter is your forte'. You often share your home with the destitute, misfits and refugees, not because you particularly care for them, but because you simply don't notice th

them hanging around amidst all your stuff.

HHAHAHA I LOVE IT!

Wow! All without using the worked cling or it's derivatives anyhere.

But with a phrase like "Ex-lovers have to emigrate, marry someone else and die before you will accept that it is over." you wouldn't really need to hey 😛

^^LOL

what's dark about this explanation—
Do I really have to do everything myself— *sigh*

i have that book

OMG thats sooooooooo true..."bipolar mood-swings...uneccesary worrying"

JEEZ