ephflank
@ephflank
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 109 · Topics: 8
Decoding Cancers!!??
Yea, I mean he is still contacting me/responding to my texts...but its just so vastly different to how he was acting in the beginning. Plus, I don't want to look stupid by chasing after some guy that does not want me...I keep trying to go over the last time we were together and if something might have offended him but I can't think of anything...
Was thinking of just asking him if something is wrong but I do not want to come across as a clingy/crazy girl! lol I feel like we are at the point in dating where I either prove Im easy going or if I'm crazy...Does that make sense?
Just trying to determine if he is blowing me off now or if we are settling into the status quo dating wise?
N.
Was thinking of just asking him if something is wrong but I do not want to come across as a clingy/crazy girl! lol I feel like we are at the point in dating where I either prove Im easy going or if I'm crazy...Does that make sense?
Just trying to determine if he is blowing me off now or if we are settling into the status quo dating wise?
N.
Dear.....
I have been with my Crab 8 months now.
At the beginning, all was rosy and romantic and he was so open bla bla...then after one month, he CHANGED.
he becaem more cautious with what he was saying, more serious, he used to joke that he would kidnap me and marry me in Las Vegas, then he stopped saying that..became more defensive...
I was , like you, completely surprised and didn't know where I was standing, and Im a Fish who also loves attention..
Some time later on, I confronted him and demanded to know if he wanted to continue the relationship as I have noticed the change..he surprised me by opening up and saying that he hadnt expected to fall for me,that at the beginning I was just a nice girl and he had no feeligns, but when he started feeling something deeper, he became defensive in order not to become vulnerable and be hurt again (he had bad relationships in the past)
So I would say, it could be that he is falling for you, the thing is that he responds texts and calls, and he is not disappearing..Crabs who arent into you ignore you, a Crab who is interested, will find a way to contact you daily and make sure you know he is there for you...
Watch out for that..if he is still with you, don't worry, he is falling for you and defensive...they are veyr self-protective...give him time and he will open up and show you his love.. be patient!
I have been with my Crab 8 months now.
At the beginning, all was rosy and romantic and he was so open bla bla...then after one month, he CHANGED.
he becaem more cautious with what he was saying, more serious, he used to joke that he would kidnap me and marry me in Las Vegas, then he stopped saying that..became more defensive...
I was , like you, completely surprised and didn't know where I was standing, and Im a Fish who also loves attention..
Some time later on, I confronted him and demanded to know if he wanted to continue the relationship as I have noticed the change..he surprised me by opening up and saying that he hadnt expected to fall for me,that at the beginning I was just a nice girl and he had no feeligns, but when he started feeling something deeper, he became defensive in order not to become vulnerable and be hurt again (he had bad relationships in the past)
So I would say, it could be that he is falling for you, the thing is that he responds texts and calls, and he is not disappearing..Crabs who arent into you ignore you, a Crab who is interested, will find a way to contact you daily and make sure you know he is there for you...
Watch out for that..if he is still with you, don't worry, he is falling for you and defensive...they are veyr self-protective...give him time and he will open up and show you his love.. be patient!
Thanks PiscesArgie!
And get this wk...last week I was getting ready for work at his apartment and he starts picking at little things...First he starts talking about my curling iron "Nicole - you are such a pretty girl, why do you feel the need to burn your hair" and then he start picking the fluff off my dress...I kept thinking 'what did I do to you this morning?!" LOL
I was thinking of asking him if I did something to offend him just b/c he got so confusing...The blink of an eye things changed...I guess I'll just have to wait it out —? (I am super impatient! lol)
I just want to make sure everything is okay...I really feel like he and I could build something...he makes me feel very safe and very much like a woman ( I can't believe I'm saying this b/c if anyone else said it - I would call them cheesy!) lol
And get this wk...last week I was getting ready for work at his apartment and he starts picking at little things...First he starts talking about my curling iron "Nicole - you are such a pretty girl, why do you feel the need to burn your hair" and then he start picking the fluff off my dress...I kept thinking 'what did I do to you this morning?!" LOL
I was thinking of asking him if I did something to offend him just b/c he got so confusing...The blink of an eye things changed...I guess I'll just have to wait it out —? (I am super impatient! lol)
I just want to make sure everything is okay...I really feel like he and I could build something...he makes me feel very safe and very much like a woman ( I can't believe I'm saying this b/c if anyone else said it - I would call them cheesy!) lol
"he makes me feel very safe and very much like a woman ( I can't believe I'm saying this b/c if anyone else said it - I would call them cheesy!)"
Exactly! they are very manly and protective and a bit of an old time lover...I also love this about my man. I feel more feminine and womanly around him..all my femininity comes out and this is a great feeling...I feel like cooking for him, for wearing a dress ..he loves all this.
Anyway going back to your issue...PATIENCE is a key factor..i am super impatient myself and this relationship has taught me that in order to build something lasting, time is needed. They will not give away their hearts so easily, and few people will pursue them with patience so most of them stay in the way...Stick with him and get to know him little by little...learn to wait..he is not you, and his wways of showing and loving are different from yours.
Be absolutely genuine with him, as they perceive it all...
Dont play hard to get or try to get him to be jealous...
Be fresh, feminine and loving and affectionate
Of course do all this if it comes naturally ...but the Crabs have a way to make this things come out....
Good luck and keep us posted!🙂
Exactly! they are very manly and protective and a bit of an old time lover...I also love this about my man. I feel more feminine and womanly around him..all my femininity comes out and this is a great feeling...I feel like cooking for him, for wearing a dress ..he loves all this.
Anyway going back to your issue...PATIENCE is a key factor..i am super impatient myself and this relationship has taught me that in order to build something lasting, time is needed. They will not give away their hearts so easily, and few people will pursue them with patience so most of them stay in the way...Stick with him and get to know him little by little...learn to wait..he is not you, and his wways of showing and loving are different from yours.
Be absolutely genuine with him, as they perceive it all...
Dont play hard to get or try to get him to be jealous...
Be fresh, feminine and loving and affectionate
Of course do all this if it comes naturally ...but the Crabs have a way to make this things come out....
Good luck and keep us posted!🙂
you know I think you said something that is very important for all relationships regardless of astrological sign and that is
??
?? "he is not you and his ways of showing and loving are different from??yours"
??
in general I feel like ppl try to force other into behaving and reacing the way that they want and that just causes friction and/or dissapointment for all involved.?? I will definitely keep that in mind as this goes on.
??
I will try to keep my attention loving ways in check - i know that they can get out of control.?? Its just difficult especially when he was so just open before with his emotions.
??
He texted me the other day to set up our plans for the weekend so I guess that's good!?? That or he is REALLY bored! lol
??
I just decided I wasnt' going to chase him and that if he wants to talk to me he will talk to me.?? It will definitely be nice to see him since I haven't heard much from him lately.?? I actually miss the crabby little fella. lol
??
Do you find that your Cancer is a bit of a homebody— Our first few dates were out, but now we always end up at hanging out at his place at some point in the night.?? I mean I love cuddling up with him but a girl wants to go out, dress up and look nice!?? (God, i sound like such a freaking Leo!) lol
??
?? "he is not you and his ways of showing and loving are different from??yours"
??
in general I feel like ppl try to force other into behaving and reacing the way that they want and that just causes friction and/or dissapointment for all involved.?? I will definitely keep that in mind as this goes on.
??
I will try to keep my attention loving ways in check - i know that they can get out of control.?? Its just difficult especially when he was so just open before with his emotions.
??
He texted me the other day to set up our plans for the weekend so I guess that's good!?? That or he is REALLY bored! lol
??
I just decided I wasnt' going to chase him and that if he wants to talk to me he will talk to me.?? It will definitely be nice to see him since I haven't heard much from him lately.?? I actually miss the crabby little fella. lol
??
Do you find that your Cancer is a bit of a homebody— Our first few dates were out, but now we always end up at hanging out at his place at some point in the night.?? I mean I love cuddling up with him but a girl wants to go out, dress up and look nice!?? (God, i sound like such a freaking Leo!) lol
Keep in mind, we are all individuals. 🙂
Respect yourself, show him you are into him, and I think, he will reciprocate, if he cares.
Respect yourself, show him you are into him, and I think, he will reciprocate, if he cares.
"Do you find that your Cancer is a bit of a homebody? Our first few dates were out, but now we always end up at hanging out at his place at some point in the night. I mean I love cuddling up with him but a girl wants to go out, dress up and look nice! (God, i sound like such a freaking Leo!) "
Dear.....yes the same happened to me...first 2 months, we went out A LOT. then , we ended up just staying at home watching a DVD and eating something good. He doesnt like to go out as much as I do. I tolerated this because it was Fall when we met and we went through winter..but now Spring has begun, and the days are nicer , and Im trying to coax him into going out more often, because, like you, I like dressing up, getting pretty for him.
But know that he will not enjoy going out as much as you.
If he is calling to see about the weekend, he is definitely interested 🙂
Dear.....yes the same happened to me...first 2 months, we went out A LOT. then , we ended up just staying at home watching a DVD and eating something good. He doesnt like to go out as much as I do. I tolerated this because it was Fall when we met and we went through winter..but now Spring has begun, and the days are nicer , and Im trying to coax him into going out more often, because, like you, I like dressing up, getting pretty for him.
But know that he will not enjoy going out as much as you.
If he is calling to see about the weekend, he is definitely interested 🙂
Posted by KittyKnitter
Cancers love their nests. They like to collect and some are packrats. They like having familiar things around them and they love their mates in a big way although they might not always show it. They can be crabby if woken up and need time to adjust if they have been relaxing and are called into action. It takes a long time to trust if they have been hurt because they are expecting to be hurt again. They like having things their way and are resistant to change. They are very romantic and might be rather gruff about it or dashingly gallant. The more they feel the less they tend to show if they are unsure of themselves. They are very sensitive to criticism and don't brush things off like some signs do. They do have very low periods and they dwell on the past and it can take a long time to learn from their past too. They are very loving and can have emotional extremes. This might not apply to every Cancer but it generally fits the ones I know and also me because I am Cancer-Leo cusp so I know that Cancer will go sideways or even go backward if it is needed to get somewhere. Very stubborn and very loyal. Honest and caring and love very deeply. Mass of emotions sometimes and scared of my own shadow upon occasion. Tend to stick to what I know if insecure and find it hard to make up my mind if I am unsure about something.
This is EXACTLY, TO THE POINT, how my Crab is or shows.
It is pretty hard for the rest of us to deal with the not showing so many emotions or saying how they feel (though they show in actions)
My Crab has been way hurt in the past so still today, after 8 months, he expects the worst I guess. He needs a lot of reasurance. Resistant to change and things their way!!! please, yes!! absolutely. Thank God Im a mutable and adaptable sign....laid back! if not, we would clash a lot.
This helped a lot! thanks so much, you seem like a very self-analitical and evolved Crab 🙂
Ha! This all sounds so familiar to me. I am a Leo girl with a Cancer boy.
Realize that in every relationship, there comes a time when things settle down. You're starting to get past the "honeymoon period", and you're absolutely right, that stage can not be maintained forever. You're now starting to see a kind of lull. Us Leos, I swear, are forever stuck in the first stages of romance. We're all about that attention and the extra affection. The transition from the 1st stage to the next is always the hardest for us because we want those first feelings of excitement and hearts-a-flutter to last FOREVERRRR. Even when we know logically that things change we still resist it at first (we are a fixed sign of course).
From what I gather, it sounds like you guys are doing just fine. Just don't create unnecessary drama by allowing your powerful emotions to control you. You may end up throwing a tantrum and getting all worked up over something that is actually not that big of a deal. We Leos are very capable of conjuring up these grand images in our heads and take it to another level if we're not careful to keep our feet firmly planted to the ground. Our imaginations can get the best of us.
Also, I've noticed that Cancers are prone to fussing over their mates. They remind me of Virgos in the sense that they can get kinda nit-picky over you. My cancer bf and I have already gone over the details of this actually so that it doesn't become an issue. It came down to discussing said details. It's not that he wants me to change for him or anyone (he would, like me, probably end up losing some respect if that happened) but he does want to see me at my best. For him to comment on something like what I should do with my hair is him actually trying to make as beautiful as possible. It's not that he thinks I need improvement, or that he likes/loves me less if I don't comply, but he thinks it's him being more loving. So, it's come down to this: he doesn't comment on how I look unless I ask or unless it's strictly positive. The truth is that he cares so little about how I dress, style my hair, etc. because he's so much more attracted to who I am inside but my ego is more fragile with him because I want him to love everything about me (heh, the ridiculous Leo side). Once you put things into perspective, and appreciate the similarities as well as the differences, then you'll start to see things as they really are!
Realize that in every relationship, there comes a time when things settle down. You're starting to get past the "honeymoon period", and you're absolutely right, that stage can not be maintained forever. You're now starting to see a kind of lull. Us Leos, I swear, are forever stuck in the first stages of romance. We're all about that attention and the extra affection. The transition from the 1st stage to the next is always the hardest for us because we want those first feelings of excitement and hearts-a-flutter to last FOREVERRRR. Even when we know logically that things change we still resist it at first (we are a fixed sign of course).
From what I gather, it sounds like you guys are doing just fine. Just don't create unnecessary drama by allowing your powerful emotions to control you. You may end up throwing a tantrum and getting all worked up over something that is actually not that big of a deal. We Leos are very capable of conjuring up these grand images in our heads and take it to another level if we're not careful to keep our feet firmly planted to the ground. Our imaginations can get the best of us.
Also, I've noticed that Cancers are prone to fussing over their mates. They remind me of Virgos in the sense that they can get kinda nit-picky over you. My cancer bf and I have already gone over the details of this actually so that it doesn't become an issue. It came down to discussing said details. It's not that he wants me to change for him or anyone (he would, like me, probably end up losing some respect if that happened) but he does want to see me at my best. For him to comment on something like what I should do with my hair is him actually trying to make as beautiful as possible. It's not that he thinks I need improvement, or that he likes/loves me less if I don't comply, but he thinks it's him being more loving. So, it's come down to this: he doesn't comment on how I look unless I ask or unless it's strictly positive. The truth is that he cares so little about how I dress, style my hair, etc. because he's so much more attracted to who I am inside but my ego is more fragile with him because I want him to love everything about me (heh, the ridiculous Leo side). Once you put things into perspective, and appreciate the similarities as well as the differences, then you'll start to see things as they really are!
Posted by ninjamu
Ha! This all sounds so familiar to me. I am a Leo girl with a Cancer boy.
Realize that in every relationship, there comes a time when things settle down. You're starting to get past the "honeymoon period", and you're absolutely right, that stage can not be maintained forever. You're now starting to see a kind of lull. Us Leos, I swear, are forever stuck in the first stages of romance. We're all about that attention and the extra affection. The transition from the 1st stage to the next is always the hardest for us because we want those first feelings of excitement and hearts-a-flutter to last FOREVERRRR. Even when we know logically that things change we still resist it at first (we are a fixed sign of course).
From what I gather, it sounds like you guys are doing just fine. Just don't create unnecessary drama by allowing your powerful emotions to control you. You may end up throwing a tantrum and getting all worked up over something that is actually not that big of a deal. We Leos are very capable of conjuring up these grand images in our heads and take it to another level if we're not careful to keep our feet firmly planted to the ground. Our imaginations can get the best of us.
Also, I've noticed that Cancers are prone to fussing over their mates. They remind me of Virgos in the sense that they can get kinda nit-picky over you.
Everything you are saying I totally identify with....I just wish he didn't change so drastically all of a sudden...Sure he's still asking me out but he does not seem excited like he was before w/all the contact and candid emotion. I am def a Leo and know that I can grab ahold to an emotion and stick to it, but its almost like he's indifferent to hanging out w/me - like he's got nothing better to do so why not...
Don't get me wrong I like him, but can a Leo get a little attention around here? lol!!! I think I will mention something once we are hanging out on Saturday.
But I have to say that everything you guys have written has been so encouraging...It's almost like he's got me over here, secures our plans, then he moves on to the next 'to do' point on his list and carry's on with the rest of his daily plans. He's still engaging but its almost as if some of the romance is gone - but something has def changed. Do you guys get what I'm saying?
Ah, perhaps I will figure it out all tomorrow, I must admit I am
Pretty Moonlight,
Thanks for all the info! I think I will just ease back a little bit and retreat into myself a little. Because sometime I have a hard time showing my emotions initially so I made a concerted effort this time around to show I liked him bc I saw something in him that meant much more than the other ppl I have been with.
So I'm just going to be myself and chill out for awhile... We are hanging out tomorrow - there's a big boxing match tomorrow night! I'll let you guys know how it goes, but I'm going into this date tomorrow with a let's see what happens attitude. I'll just observe the situation and see if I can get full view of the situation. I wonder how he will act once he sees me
But here's the thing - now that I feel slighted it makes me not want to sleep with him or be affectionate...but who knows - there a high probability I'll see him and all this will go out the window... I'm a big softie at heart!! :-)
I'll be interested to see how he is...
Thanks for all the info! I think I will just ease back a little bit and retreat into myself a little. Because sometime I have a hard time showing my emotions initially so I made a concerted effort this time around to show I liked him bc I saw something in him that meant much more than the other ppl I have been with.
So I'm just going to be myself and chill out for awhile... We are hanging out tomorrow - there's a big boxing match tomorrow night! I'll let you guys know how it goes, but I'm going into this date tomorrow with a let's see what happens attitude. I'll just observe the situation and see if I can get full view of the situation. I wonder how he will act once he sees me
But here's the thing - now that I feel slighted it makes me not want to sleep with him or be affectionate...but who knows - there a high probability I'll see him and all this will go out the window... I'm a big softie at heart!! :-)
I'll be interested to see how he is...
hahaha, so funny story about how after last night Cancer man and I are "official".... I had my defenses up going into last night but clearly that has changed. He basically apologized for being MIA this past week and says he realizes he wasn't easy to get a hold of or very talkative...It was nice and exactly what I needed to hear...he was very sweet and kept talking about how much he missed me! All and all it was a great night! :-)
So yes, things went very well with the Cancer and I...just wanted to give you guys a little update since so many people were kind enough to read my posts and reply.
So yes, things went very well with the Cancer and I...just wanted to give you guys a little update since so many people were kind enough to read my posts and reply.
Posted by PiscesArgie
Dear.....
I have been with my Crab 8 months now.
At the beginning, all was rosy and romantic and he was so open bla bla...then after one month, he CHANGED.
he becaem more cautious with what he was saying, more serious, he used to joke that he would kidnap me and marry me in Las Vegas, then he stopped saying that..became more defensive...
I was , like you, completely surprised and didn't know where I was standing, and Im a Fish who also loves attention..
Some time later on, I confronted him and demanded to know if he wanted to continue the relationship as I have noticed the change..he surprised me by opening up and saying that he hadnt expected to fall for me,that at the beginning I was just a nice girl and he had no feeligns, but when he started feeling something deeper, he became defensive in order not to become vulnerable and be hurt again (he had bad relationships in the past)
So I would say, it could be that he is falling for you, the thing is that he responds texts and calls, and he is not disappearing..Crabs who arent into you ignore you, a Crab who is interested, will find a way to contact you daily and make sure you know he is there for you...
Watch out for that..if he is still with you, don't worry, he is falling for you and defensive...they are veyr self-protective...give him time and he will open up and show you his love.. be patient!
my cancer just broke up with me and is not responding to my text so your saying its over for good they never come back, my cancer disappeared earlier in our two year relationship didnt break up and came back, but a year later out of no where broke up we didnt have any problems what is your take on this....
Posted by ephflank
hahaha, so funny story about how after last night Cancer man and I are "official".... I had my defenses up going into last night but clearly that has changed. He basically apologized for being MIA this past week and says he realizes he wasn't easy to get a hold of or very talkative...It was nice and exactly what I needed to hear...he was very sweet and kept talking about how much he missed me! All and all it was a great night! :-)
So yes, things went very well with the Cancer and I...just wanted to give you guys a little update since so many people were kind enough to read my posts and reply.
him ima leo man hi leo woman lol i was with a cancer female who just broke up with me out of no where an not sure why and has gone mia event said please leave me alonr. She has dissappeared once before but didnt break up. how long have you two been togther?
Posted by prettymoonlight
Hi! I am a Cancer female and I started to smile reading your post. I do that exact same thing that your guy is doing. When I know I have my guy "wrapped" that's when I lay off.
In the begining I am all sunshine and rainbows-- then one of 3 things will happen:
(1) I get comfortable and I begin to take advantage of the guy-- if he lets me. See, I can get complaicent if I know the guy likes me more than I like him.
OR
(2) I get scared because I like him and I pull away to slow it down a bit. When I finally do give my heart to a person? I am devoted to them. I eat for them, breathe for them. Only them. NOBODY could make me stray.
(3) I am losing interest. I am looking-- for another. I don't move from one unless I have another usally. I mean I will do it-- I am doing it now ..lol.. but generally I like to have somebody lined up... BUT I don't think this last one sounds like you two. That was more like an FYI thing.
Regardless-- there is a quick fix. Want to get his heart up in a beat again— pull away, but do it in a non-hurtful non-game way.
I know it sounds like a game but I mean more of a sweet way. Like don't pick up the phone right away-- let him think a bit... "God, sorry I missed your calls cutie but I was sooooo busy and then I lost my phone!
See, he, like most men-- I think want a little bit of snap. Hmmmmm.... what I mean to say is.... No man wants to know they have you-- even when they have you. Even after a long while until you're in a committed relationship... well, even then they will test the waters-- ESPECIALLY if they like you.
Try to mimic his actions. For example:
1. If he seems less excited-- then you seem less excited.
By doing this your making him wonder "Hmmmm... she thought I was great a week ago? What's up? I wonder?" Trust me-- he'll wonder.
2. Or if when he calls-- hold off picking up. Back off a tad. this will do two things (1) it will make him wonder what you're doing and (2) make him a little nervous that if he does not step it up-- he may lose you. Then when you do answer sound SO happy to hear from him. We crabs are sensitive ..lol.. most men are I think they just hide it.
See, what I am trying to say is this...
yes we crabs like staying in... being cozy... but it sounds like he likes you and has you right where HE wants YOU. Mix it up a bit... keep him on his toes. By doing this you'll ke
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