Did I Make A Mistake? Pisces/Cancer

Hi I am new to DXP. I have read some of the post and I am interested to learn more.

So I am a 48 year old pisces and I met this very wonderful single dad of two kids. He is from South America and he is a cancer. He is a very spiritual man. We had a great time last night. We went out for drinks and dancing. We both agreed that we had this open, intense, connection. We decided to follow our flow from the night of a great time and we had sex. I had a great time with cancer, but I am worried was it too soon? How do cancer men feel about having sex on the first night?

I would almost surely regret this unless I were truly enamored. It was probably way too soon. It's very likely that he'll be weird for a while as he will have to think things through and understand himself. If he sticks around, he might be very impressed by you, it's possible.

I have to agree with Mr Crabby.....now it's a wait and see if he sticks around kind of situation...good luck

Ouch!!! 😢 okay so I call him to invite him to hang out with some friends because he is new to the area. Mr. Crabby, I was really into him. He kept saying to be open with emotion. He is Peruvian a spiritual man so being a pisces I really was drawn into it. Well I get an email from him today, apologizing for not responding to my invite. He says he had been busy all weekend and met someone and he feels he needs to follow it. I am an idiot. I feel foolish for falling for him. How can he tell me "I really like that you are open, and how we made a great connection." Really—? He met someone else that fast that was better than me? I am so disappointed and sad. I really wanted to get to know him and spend more time with him. Is it because he was not attracted to me? Did he just con me into dropping my undies? I am really really really really sad. I thought I met someone finally.

He probably wanted to be close to someone for a long time and might have convinced himself that you could be the one. It's painful to be rejecting everyone all the time, so sometimes we'll make an extra effort to like someone when we shouldn't. I don't really think he lied to you, but to himself. It's sad that you've been hurt in the process. I could have acted like this at 20, but not anymore.

If you are indeed a Snake, I can understand the attraction. Snakes are very easy to like and so attractive that I lose my mind myself.

"He probably wanted to be close to someone for a long time and might have convinced himself that you could be the one."

So what are you saying Mr. Crabby? Was I simply a mistake that he did not want to be close to me? 😢

Mr. Crabby he really came on strong to me. He did the chasing and calling. That is the part I don't get. 😢

I am not so sure why he would Tasha, since he says he already met someone else. Probably most likely not. 😢 He probably got what he want and is set out for his next conquest. I was simply foolish. I thought we were both just following the emotion of the night. That is what he kept saying. I am a foolish girl and I realize that now. 😢 So ashamed and embarrassed.

I really thought we had a sincere connection.

Should I respond to his email? All of me says to just delete all his emails erase his phone number and move on. He is 48 I thought he would be past the whole conquest thing. We only do that when we are in our twenties.

Crabs thanks for being so sincere. At least not all cancer men are like this.

Serpent Lady; ouch is right! Not cool what this guy did and I think Mr.crabby nailed it. Cancers can become infatuated quickly, what with their never ending need to love and be loved. They can dive in headfirst without thinking and when the consequences of their actions catch up to them, the dream is shattered and reality is staring them in the face. That's when the fear kicks in...

It really isn't about you, how interesting or attractive you are. There could have been a very real 'spark' between you, but cancers move slow and need to be really sure of how they feel about someone. If you are really into him, he will be able to feel it from you, even through an email. Cancers tend to like a mystery and can really get into the chase. He doesn't know how he feels about you so he probably put on the brakes. He might even be lying about this 'other person' he's met, just because it's a sure way to keep you at a distance. If he feels something for you, he needs time to figure it out.

Don't take it personal, (eve though it is so jerk like) and keep yourself busy doing other things. DO NOT contact him again. It will drive him crazy and if he does want to 'test the waters' with you again, he'll be back.

If you respond to him again, get ready for a roller coaster ride... I'm just saying.

Posted by Bohemian.Serpant
"He probably wanted to be close to someone for a long time and might have convinced himself that you could be the one."

So what are you saying Mr. Crabby? Was I simply a mistake that he did not want to be close to me? 😢

I couldn't know quickly like that. I could feel a very strong attraction right away, but I would still have to confirm over a long period of time to really get anywhere near involved.

It is everything in me to not just send a response with something nasty and mean type message because now I am in a mad mood 😢, but I think you are right Shellshocker. Also I have to remember I am 48 not juvenille. I willingly participated in the act. It felt amazingly comfortable with him that I really opened myself up to him to feel and be vulnerable. 😢 I revealed who I was good and bad, laying out all my cards because that is how comfortable our time was and that is what I thought he wanted when we talked about being "open". 😢 Besides, I deleted all his messages with his email ...lol and his phone number too. I wanted no temptation to write back. I gotto let this go. ughhhhhh I hate feeling a bit betrayed, but that is my stupid fault for wearing my heart on my sleeve and trusting someone I just met (stupid Pisces character). yuck I hate feeling this way. 😢

It always strikes me as odd how Pisces can be so open and quick with people. It always makes me feel that if they like people so easily, I'm probably not very special to them, I just happen to be the one who's there at the moment.

I've had to backtrack quite often because of this and I've fell in infatuation for nothing as well.

It might be too late for that, but see it as a very nice moment. It looks like the expectations ruined this for you, otherwise you might have a good feeling about it.

Sounds like he's a player and/or just a guy that used some player skills to get you relaxed, open and vulnerable so he could get what he wanted *Sex* sorry you had to go through this with him...sucks.....Don't hold onto this, let it go, shit happens, don't allow this issue to spoil your dating life, just take note not to allow it to happen again no matter how comfortable you find yourself around a man....If it's real then explore it more instead of just going with the flow, I don't think it's the sex that's the issue b/c sex is wonderful but it most likely may be the expectations some women have about a man before the sex happens and once the sex happens the disappointment sets in once she realizes the connection has been broken after he's got the sex and no longer interested in pursuing her.....He may reappear in your life again but my suggestion would be to slow down, don't have sex with him again until your sure he's for real. As for emailing him back, I wouldn't advise it, he really doesn't owe you anything and most likely you not replying back will peek his interest again in about 6 weeks to 6 months when he's no longer living in la la land with this so called other woman, tired of chasing other women and/or when there is no one else around he will surface again....then you will have to decide if he's worth the effort to get to know him all over again. I believe he met someone but I don't believe he's serious that quickly, he's just trying to slow you down, lower your expectations and not form any emotional attachments with you, basically he's not ready to settle down with you and if he goes out with you on a formal date it will feel like he's settling into a real relationship and to some men that doesn't equal FUN.

Posted by mr.crabby
It might be too late for that, but see it as a very nice moment. It looks like the expectations ruined this for you, otherwise you might have a good feeling about it.

Mr. Crabby not sure what you are referring to??

Too late for what?

It is done, over, finished, fini, the end, etc.. I embrace this and accept this even though it hurt my feelings and makes me sad. 😢I guess I am just expressing my sadness and disappointment in myself and him for it to end. I am respecting his wanting to move on to his newest adventure. I have no intentions of contacting him ever again. I don't want to chase a man who does not want me. 😢 As much as I want him to come after me, I embrace that this was just a short moment in time.

You are absolutely right it was a very nice moment.

What expectations? I just wanted to continue the opportunity to get to know each other better.

Good feeling about what? I thought I was getting very good feelings and I did flow with it and followed it. I thought he liked me as much as I liked him, after all the evening was lead by him. He was the chaser, the initiator of our even having the date to begin with. Perhaps I misread into what his intentions were. I don't know, I am so intuitive about others but fail miserably to identify my own path. 😢

I made a mistake and I do acknowledge it. I do want a relationship with someone like him, and if I could do it over I would have slowed him down. It is too late now, would of, should of, could of. It is done. 😢

Tiki,

I really like what you said. I finally made peace with the situation today and forgave myself. I am no longer in angry mode, maybe still a bit sad but I will be okay. I realize he is not the only fish in the sea, and I will continue to move on. Thanks for the vote of encouragement. I think I am something special, and if he does not see it, than he is not the right one for me. His stuff has been deleted, not because I did not value our time together or him. It really was something that I really enjoyed. It was not even just the sex itself; it was the energy, the connection, the spiritual synergy, the communication, and the intimacy. I just think it is a bad idea to chase any guy who says "I have met someone else". To me that means I don't value myself enough to honor that and move on and realize that he may be all wrong for me to begin with. I don't know, maybe I am just trying to rationalize it in my head. IF and that is a big IF he came back 6 weeks or 6 months later, not sure if I would take him back. I will know to not give in so easy for sure this time. 😢

Mr. Crabby,

You said something that I wanted to clarify, about him not being special. I don't go around sleeping with anyone and everyone. There has to be a real connection. It had been a long time since I was intimate with someone like that. Obviously he found nothing special in me, but there will be someone who does, if that makes sense.

Well thank you all for being so supportive and giving me your open words.

I'm saying that you could have a moment like this one without expecting a life-shaking experience. Maybe that's how he took it, he had a great time and it lead naturally to sex and that was it. You don't have to be ashamed of your conduct, it felt right to you at the time. If you're going to feel bad afterwards, it's clearly best for you to wait a bit longer than that, under any circumstances.

If you want a relationship, I think the general rule is not to start with sex, unless you've known each other for a while in one way or another. Cancer males can be romantic and passionate, but we're still men before anything else even when we're genuinely sweet.

Posted by mr.crabby
I'm saying that you could have a moment like this one without expecting a life-shaking experience. Maybe that's how he took it, he had a great time and it lead naturally to sex and that was it. You don't have to be ashamed of your conduct, it felt right to you at the time. If you're going to feel bad afterwards, it's clearly best for you to wait a bit longer than that, under any circumstances.

If you want a relationship, I think the general rule is not to start with sex, unless you've known each other for a while in one way or another. Cancer males can be romantic and passionate, but we're still men before anything else even when we're genuinely sweet.

Agreed Mr. Crabby!!! What can I say I am a sexy pisces, I ooze sex appeal, and desire sex. I am a middle aged women, have you not heard about women our age? lol C'est la vie, onto the next adventure. I really am okay with this. It has been a learned lesson.

Serpent, serpent...cancer men love 2 chase...and u gave in!...fast...if u really wanted him as ur man...than u sud of held back da sex...period...he will not respect u 4 dat...i understand how u feel.... but u gotta remember cancers r luking 4 dat wifey material...and u gave in 2 fast...yes, yes the connection was there...so what...it wud of been even more intense if u wud have waited!! any how, i'm sorry u got hurt... just remember next time..if there is a next time... control urself! if u want him 2 stick around😢

CANCERSHORTI....I had sex with my Cancer guy the first date..but I guess we had been flirting and talking and chatting for some time so it wasnt as if it was that EASY..I dont feel that has affected our relationship...it is a new relationship, just two months old.

We went to a hotel for sex the first time and it was long before I invited him over to my place...(He lives with MOMMY hahaha)

He said he respected me for not inviting him over to my place the first night and that home is very important for him and not inviting somebody who I was just getting to know let him know I respect my place..

anyway he is definitely a traditionalist..he likes my feminine dresses and my flowery sweaters, is it that important for them to be with somebody feminine , classical, wifey——?

I actually cook quite well and have prepared hiim some meals for him to take in his lunchbox to work..has loved that..

any other advice ——?' Im new to all this really but have learnt a lot from reading the posts

Quickest way to his heart——

hmmmmm I agree with Mr. Crabby on this one. Sorry BS 😢 Yeah .....my synopsis ....keep it casual and yep if you wanted a relationship you should have waited. 😢 It sounds like you already realized this. Sounds like it may have been fun and games to him, and I think one of two things happened:

1 - He sensed you really liked him, and being a Pisces .....I know what it is like to really dig those crabby dudes. *Sigh* Those crabby cakes are intuitive likes us fishies.
2 - He may have really liked you as well and the intensity scared him.......slow moving crabs. So he clammed down.

That is why ....KISS (Keep It Simple Silly) 🙂

That brings another question, do crabs do casual relationships?

PD

I just can't. If it's not meant to go far, I have zero effort/energy/passion/care to put into it.

Posted by mr.crabby
I just can't. If it's not meant to go far, I have zero effort/energy/passion/care to put into it.

What does this mean?? Go far in the ability for a one-night-stand casual relationship? or in relationships after one-night-stands?

Posted by Pisces_Dream

Posted by mr.crabby
I just can't. If it's not meant to go far, I have zero effort/energy/passion/care to put into it.

What does this mean?? Go far in the ability for a one-night-stand casual relationship? or in relationships after one-night-stands?

click to expand

If it's not looking like there could be a loving exclusive relationship, I'll never pursue it, even if there's attraction and good feelings. I know many crabs are known for promiscuity, but I just reject these little encounters. The rest of the chart has a lot to do with temperament too.

Okay 🙂 Thanks Mr. Crabby!!! Okay here is a spin on that question. So if the girl makes you work harder does that hold your attention longer? If she gives in too easily do you feel not a challenge enough? Do you get where I am going with this? 😉

PD

Posted by Pisces_Dream
Okay 🙂 Thanks Mr. Crabby!!! Okay here is a spin on that question. So if the girl makes you work harder does that hold your attention longer? If she gives in too easily do you feel not a challenge enough? Do you get where I am going with this? 😉

PD

She just has to be real. I don't really care for the challenge. She can be as slow as she want, but I need to get something from her, just to keep me wanting her. I need to feel the genuine interest.

I don't think it's about keeping my attention, it's about making me feel special, so waiting is a good thing. I'm not sure where you are going with this, but it's interesting. When approached for sexy stuff, I get turned off pretty quickly.

That notion of challenge really bothers me, I think it's more of a woman concept. Being chased, making it hard, playing. I'm a very plain and simple guy, that's just not part of my life, and I don't think women like it when you refuse to play. Oh well.

Mr. Crabman ....I like your inisight. I just might have to save you as one of my favs. 🙂

PD