Help...

This will be the last time I will post about this problem since I really want to let go and detach for a while because it's affecting ME first of all. I'm a general "think positive, get positive results' kind of girl
I really want to know your opinion about this before I'm having a serious talk with my guy.

I've hit a new rock bottom with my relationship with my crab man. He says that he loves me very much, that I'm perfect and he's being all sweet and stuff but that's not what I'm worried about...it's about the space I'm giving him for himself. That while I'm letting him be, he may be enjoying himself in the company of other women (virtually). Honestly, I don't 100% trust him, trust issues, I know. WHen he gets disconnected it's all so perfect really and I wish to be like this all the time.

I know that dating a cancer is more like letting him date you, let him chase after you, let him come after/call you. But what about I want? The difference between how he was in the beginning vs how he's now it's tremendous. I'm being a supportive girlfriend since he switched jobs and this new one has a lot more pressure on it. I'm waiting for him everyday to give me a little bit of love. He told me that he loves that I'm not being affected by his crappy moods and that I'm kind and waiting for him.

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? Right now I'm having a problem/trust issue with his free time. I wish that he was closer to me in his spare time than he is now. I do not wish to think he has lost interest because I know this is not the case. But I do believe him to be emotionally selfish..

And I'm TIRED of being all upset and tense about this while putting a smiley face for him. I feel like I want to cry and I can't focus on studying. I just wanna sleep all the time. I think I want a break, I do not wish for us to break up because I love him so much. I just want to let him know that it takes two to tango and I'm not there only to his comfort. 😢(

I need to think about how I will say all those things without looking "needy" or without pushing him away..

Bloobaz, I have been thinking of messaging you back all day. I haven't forgotten about it. I'm still going to hit I didn't want to do it while I was back and forth doing other stuff. I think I can offer you a pot of insight here. I might do it tonight, but I will for sure do it tomorrow.

I promise, this sounds JUST LIKE mine was. Exactly. Your message you sent me I was saying "Yup. Exactly. Yes"

What is your sign by the way? You sound a lot like I was too. My emotions, feelings and thoughts.

I'm a leo. I do not know other signs but far as I know, I might have a moon in virgo. I literally have no idea.

I do not wish to let go because I think we have a lot of potential and I feel he cares . At least I want to have a deep and sincere conversation about what's going on. I mean, we had a more nasty fight from which we came out just fine. I kept my optimism and focused on me and thinking of him dearly and everything was alright.

I think I'm just emotional today haha

I have a Leo moon myself. I'm going to message you tomorrow. The whole situation you're describing would make me emotional too so I think you're completely normal lol.

Posted by MissGemmi


Problem is. A Cancer can give a lot of people that 'special' 'potential' feeling. They will connect with you in the beginning. Giving you all the attention, love and care they know every person craves for. They give what they themselves need. It is not intentional. I've learned that I'm not necessarily special for a Cancer. They can give that special feeling to everyone that crosses their path. It's because they can connect to ALL people (they are interested in) emotionally.

When you read all the posts here, you'll read that everyone 'feels' that the Cancer cares, but that they are 'afraid' to come forward with it. No. This is not the case. A cancer is ruled by the emotions. It's their driving force. They WILL act according their emotion. They are not afraid to use it. It's difficult for them to hold in all that they feel. He will come and look for you if he really cares and loves you and will talk about all that's going on. Really you don't have to do anything. In a Cancer case you've got two options:
1. You back off, continue with your life and stay open to a Cancer whenever they find you interesting (loves you) enough to come back. You don't push or nag for them to talk or love you
2. You need to decide and tell the Cancer to hit the road and your moving on with your life. To never contact you again. And then just drop it cold.

If they love you. In both cases they will do the best they can to be in your life again (almost obsessively). If not, then you've made the wise decision to let it go and move on. In matters of love, unfortunately, if you love them more they get to decide whether they want to be with you or not. The only decision you get to make is to get out!

Thank you so much. This is a very good response and I think I'm going to go with the first option. Backing off seems the best option right now alongside with being a bit arrogant when he comes to talk.
I love him so much but I love myself more....and I just can't go on being all tense like this.
I need and I WILL detach...

Posted by LadyCalamity
I have a Leo moon myself. I'm going to message you tomorrow. The whole situation you're describing would make me emotional too so I think you're completely normal lol.

I'd love to hear that too 😕....

Posted by Cheeseburger

Posted by MissGemmi

Posted by bloobaz
I'm a leo. I do not know other signs but far as I know, I might have a moon in virgo. I literally have no idea.

I do not wish to let go because I think we have a lot of potential and I feel he cares . At least I want to have a deep and sincere conversation about what's going on. I mean, we had a more nasty fight from which we came out just fine. I kept my optimism and focused on me and thinking of him dearly and everything was alright.

I think I'm just emotional today haha

Problem is. A Cancer can give a lot of people that 'special' 'potential' feeling. They will connect with you in the beginning. Giving you all the attention, love and care they know every person craves for. They give what they themselves need. It is not intentional. I've learned that I'm not necessarily special for a Cancer. They can give that special feeling to everyone that crosses their path. It's because they can connect to ALL people (they are interested in) emotionally.

When you read all the posts here, you'll read that everyone 'feels' that the Cancer cares, but that they are 'afraid' to come forward with it. No. This is not the case. A cancer is ruled by the emotions. It's their driving force. They WILL act according their emotion. They are not afraid to use it. It's difficult for them to hold in all that they feel. He will come and look for you if he really cares and loves you and will talk about all that's going on.

This is by far, the worst analysis of a Cancer I have ever read. It shows how little you know about us.

click to expand

No offense MG but you should stop giving cancer advice. OP this is the same cancer that said he loved you? To answer there is NO way around not being vulnerable-you gotta be vulnerable and say what you gotta say. Cancers like it when people are vulnerable when they need to be. He said he loves you he means it. Go hard for it he's waiting.

Posted by StarChild63

No offense MG but you should stop giving cancer advice. OP this is the same cancer that said he loved you? To answer there is NO way around not being vulnerable-you gotta be vulnerable and say what you gotta say. Cancers like it when people are vulnerable when they need to be. He said he loves you he means it. Go hard for it he's waiting.

Yes, he is. He tells me that everyday.

I do admit into exaggerating this message because of my sadness and moodiness from yesterday. I think that my lover felt that too because during lunch he honestly gave me the most beautiful love declaration I heard in the last period.

He said he was so sorry for being busy and grumpy all the time about things that aren't connected with me/us and then making me his punching bag. He told me he loved me so much and wants me in his life and that I should keep that in mind throughout the day. He also said that he'll never find someone like me, someone to love him like I do and that he never felt such warm feelings and never had someone to love him so beautifully.

.........

I am so ashamed, to say the least.

Posted by Cheeseburger
I can't think of anything that would trigger a good response from a cancer man than an honest woman speaking her mind.

^This right here, if it were read and taken to heart by the majority of "my Cancer man" posters, would make this forum quiet .
(Because it is accurate)

^^and if he doesn't respond??

Posted by boxcarmirnta
^^and if he doesn't respond??

What do you mean by not responding exactly (ignoring you, not answering your messages, etc)?

I always got a response when I spoke my mind about something. If you're not getting any response, you're just wasting YOUR time.

Totally.

Lol how much I hate these rollercoaster rides. #vent

Last night was an amazing night for both me and my cancer man. This morning he had to leave to another city. Giving the fact that he's so busy during the week, I just want that during those weekend moments that he will 100% be with me. The night was fantastic, the morning not so much. He began thinking about his finances and whatnot. I was getting a bit grumpy but pretended everything was alright.

After I got home and he left I slipped into this really crappy mood feeling all left out. An hour ago I called him just to hear him and ask him how are things there. He sensed me right away and became so cold. He texted me that he wants peace at home and he doesn't like my needy and dependent mood AT ALL and this can not go on as long as I am like this and that we'll talk when he gets home.

I briefly told him (preparing myself for the silence/ignore phase) that I'm really sorry and that was very chilish of me and I deeply apologised. I said that I also didnt want us to fight because it will only draw us apart. I said that I'm sorry again and that I'm fine and "take care"

NOW WE PLAY THE WAITING GAME.

...

He just messaged me on Facebook saying that "It's all good. I love you. Be good"
Something tells me to take this words carefully as he'll still retreat to his shell, something like "don't rush to think that things are 100% fine just yet"

He's actually 13 years older.