Help! He's driving me crazy!

He's a Cancer. I'm a Scorpio. It's been a year and a half. I love him, but he makes me crazy. He is standoffish about his feelings, never revealing anything more than he feels is needed. Says I should just "know" that he loves me. I try to talk to him and tell him what's wrong in our relationship as far as what is missing for me, and he says absolutely NOTHING - just sits and stares at me with this blank stare or gets upset with me and chooses to ignore me because I chose to bring up the topic and it hurt his feelings. If I get frustrated enough that I think I'm ready to say goodbye, he says, "Okay, if that's what you want...All you have to do is tell me." When I say it's not what I want, he says it's not what he wants. If he loves me, wouldn't he hold on a bit tighter? Try a bit harder? Worry about what makes ME happy the way I worry about making him happy? I don't want to split up - I just want things to be better. I want him to open up to me, tell me how he really feels, show me that he really cares - not just BE here. He says if he didn't love me he wouldn't be here, but if he's not opening up to me, how can I be SURE he loves me and this is not just a game? I've heard that Cancers play mind games. Help! I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore. Is it time to say goodbye - or time to hold on tighter? Is he waiting to see if I WILL hold on tighter, or is he just waiting for me to say goodbye? I'm so confused. Any and all advice is MORE than welcome.

ScorpAngel

Wooowwww....

Calm down.....

If I may ask you to imagine an EMPTY bottle.. Real empty? then I ask you to fill it up with your most beautiful/sensual/emotional and desire dream and wishes you ever had?then?.

When the bottle is full? what you get back in return is YOUR OWN STUFF?.!! BUT?. in different flavour and name!! ... That?s it?.!!

It was your WISHES and now renamed at "sea creature" WISHES?.

To be more precise?. What you are longing to get.. is what you've had and gave it AWAY in the name of LOVE?!!

All sea creatures are like that (take it from you and give it back in their name)?. From crabs to fishes?no exceptions?.they (LEECH)..!! If you are smart, claim back your dreams and desire?.if not? stay away from all those damn sea creatures eg. Cancerians and Pisceans.
They just MIMIC.

FISHES are FISHES e.g "sea creatures"?. Cold blooded and cold hearted?no matter what they're try to convince you like the "Cancer born are sensitive and warm hearted"?.blah blah? that?s B.S?. they are all the same?living in the same environment anyway.

BUT?..please don't BEG someone loves you back?it?s a same story over and over again..
some must GIVE and some must RECEIVE.

DAMN CRABS and FISHES?. arrogant creatures from hell that only think about their OWN DAMN feelings..

Don?t trust me— Take your time and study the site , you get surprised ..!!
Cheers and good luck with those....THINGS...

And ahh
THEY ARE "CANCER" YOU KNOW?THE FAMOUS DEADLY DISEASE..??

Hey Qbone!

I didnt know that you too have sun sign based prejudices! You call cancerians cold blooded? You know I am a cancerian who has always stood up for nay extravagant ranting against any sun sign (specially virgos) . You forget that? You advise ScorpAngel to read certian post on the board as proof of cancer coldness? What if she reads only my posts and bases her judgement about cancerians on that? LOL

And does that mean that all the virgo bashing posts are a proof what horrible creatures virgos are?

And if I have praised virgos, does this mean I am blind to their faults? YOu have to be kidding. I know their liitations too well. But I hoose not to spazz out on them.

And if you ask me- all this spazzing out is done by peopel who simply fail to accept people as individual. They want a person to be exactly as what image thye have of an ideal friend/lover/husband/wife in their mind. Anythign less..they are damned. GOSH!!!!!!!!!!😢

And you are advising a scorpio against cancerians. J.C. ... A joke of the millenium...... Do you get jealous when a scorp lady falls for anybody else but not a virgo?

And yes cancer is a deadly disease which just hangs on ... no matter what? Sweetheart this quality of staying on has been applied to the human natives of this earth.... which means the cancerians have incredible strength to stay on with what they like/love. Which cna also apply ot what they donot like.

okay errata LOL

read the statement
.....been applied to the human natives....

as

...been applied to the cancerian human natives....

BTW I think you dont know that Scorpios too are sea creatures and the deadliest of them all. Pisces & Cancerians are anyday much less harmful.

And please keeping things to oneself is not a mind game. I am a double cancerian I know it. It could just mean that being choked upto the neck with so much emotions that it becomes difficult to express- in words. It could also mean that some intuition tells them that it is of no use speaking out! They will not be understood! Cancerians are highly intuitive people and they can see through people & dont take people on their face value.There are negative and positive people in every sun sign. And you know what? What a cancerian feels today..the world may not understand...but a few years down the line the world speaks the cancerian language....

I am extremely sorry for what soem of the bad experiences that people have had with cancerians around here. There are devils in this sun signs i do agree.

I am one of the cancerians who doesnt remain in the shell, I do speak out! And when i dont -believe me .. it is because I have figured out the situation inside out & know I shoudn't be wasting my precious little time in first speaking out and then spending a life time explaning why I think in a particular way...or ti could also mean that theperosn may get irreversibly hurt by what I have to say!!!

Remember Helen Keller & Jean Jacque Rousseau were cancerians! What they gave to the world are the priceless gifts to humanity. Helen Keller by her service towars severely handicapped people and Rousseau ... well... gave the world the awareness of democratic principles ( Liberty, Equality & Fraternity). His writngs have inspired the democratic principles in many countries around the world & specially the countries which were colonised. Not jsut that.. he has inspired making child psychology as a special discipline. There are many of his writings I may not agree with ... but like I say in criticising soembody I dont forget hte incredible gift that they have to offer at the same time.

There is long list of great cancerians around the world that I can give. But I am not interested at the moment. But if this mindless spazzing continues I may give a long list of unsavoury habits of all the other sun signs that I have experinced and it will be an exposure..believe me... if I choose to do that!

Take care

Looney Bird

Hi looneybird...

hehe..

Just wanted to show the "certain someone" that, it is pretty easy to jump in to the conclusions by ranting on the board and judge the whole group by reading their key elements and characters behaviour on the sign.

I certainly never had Cancer or Piscean as a lover or partner?.beside I never judge people by their star sign (you know better than that..)!

And I am not jealous of anything.

Aww LOL I know what is happening over here. I consider Qbone in good regard. The post snapped something and I just spilled out what I had wanted to do for a long time. True we do like our beloved to be like the ideal that we have in our mind....you do doubt about the validity of these postings. Right? I do too. For one there is too much similarity of expression & we cancerians know what we do & what we wont. right? That's where the slip up has happened. LOL😉

He's a Cancer, I'm a Scorp; been a year and 8 months; same problem. I posted a similar conversation a little while back. This is what I do (will do).

Frankly, this may take 5-10 years to develop. If you're complaining now (and I realize it's been awhile), he's getting the impression that you will leave simply because he's not telling you what you want to hear. If he did tell you what you want to hear, would it be enough for you? Actually, he's calling for you to stand on your own self-confidence. Tell him you love yourself and that's enough for you. Yep, he's plays the game, he plays it on his time. Give him what he really wants, a real woman in and of herself. Jump his bones one night out of the clear blue.

Suggestion: Pretend you're already married, and act accordingly.

Hint: The more I act like I don't need him, the more I get from him. This is one man you can't cling to, for any reason. But as you act like you don't need him, screw up every now and then so he can come along and save the day. I LET my boyfriend kill all the spiders I see and then he says 'what would you do without me?' He loves this.

Wow! I didn't mean to start a war on star signs. 😢 I don't think any of us are all bad. I think what was said about us wanting our lovers to be and act in an ideal way to what we are looking for is so true; hence the reason we search for that certain someone. Thing is, if I list his good qualities, it's quite a list, but that doesn't stop the qualities that are driving me insane from making me crazier by the minute. I agree LadyDane that he does like to feel needed and as there are many ways he changes my life for the better and I tell him so all the time, I believe he knows he is needed, BUT I am also an independent woman and perhaps that frightens him in the sense that I can make it alone. I have before. Still, underneath of the tough exterior, this lady does need something - I need the man that I love to love me with all his heart & soul and to show me that he loves me. I've been taken advantage of before and I'm afraid of a repeat. Without going into detail, I will say that I have my reasons for believing he could be here for reasons other than love, and I just need some re-assuring that it is love. Ive read back on some of the posts and I understand that there are good and bad points to every Cancer and that the power to keep pushing on seems to be the key, but how do I get what I need in the process? It can't be all about him. It just doesn't work that way. Cancers don't show much emotion— What about their partners who are dying to feel that emotion? If you love your partners so intensely, doesn't it matter to you if they are happy and content and getting what they need too? Not sign bashing here everyone - just musing out loud. Honestly, I don't know whether to stay or leave, I just know when I look at him I can't leave him because I love him too much and when he makes me crazy and I know I can't leave him, I go in circles and don't know what to do. Thank you for letting me vent for a while, I think it helps.

By the way, the part about acting as though I don't need him - that doesn't work with this Cancer. He needs his hugs & kisses, though too many turn him off. If I am standoffish, he is standoffish, it doesn't bring him closer to me, it hurts him. I think he wants me to be close when he wants closeness, and he wants me to be away when he wants space. Problem is that doesn't always match up with when I need closeness or space. Okay, going in a circle again. I'm going to log off and try to clear the clouds out of my head again lol. Bye 4 now and thank you all for taking the time to post and try to help me understand.

LOL... paper towels? I think we need a hose pipe to wash off all the spill caused due to the unpardonable behaviour of unfeeling, hard shelled cancerians.

O Lord Almighty ! Please give peace to those souls who have dedicated their life to be tormented by a cancerian- for better or for worse..in poverty or good fortune... in sickness or in good health...for they didnt know what they were getting into....😢

Bless you All🙂

LMAO

I guess I could lighten up some, but damn.

Maybe I should just tell everybody to.......maybe I should just quit talking about it and do it.

Ok, I'm doing it.....right now.....just a minute.......wait....but....

See how easy it is.

Belinda

HAHAHA Seems I am not alone in my quest to conquer the unconquerable heart of a Cancerian (anyone have a hammer to get thru this shell with?) and I guess I'm not alone in the insanity this craziness brings to my life. I'm think what I'm trying to figure out is how I can be driven so insane by the same man who can light my heart on fire. This must be a Cancerian trait eh? God help me, but I love him.

This looks like a wonderful chapter to add to the book "Oh My - This is My Life?" ROFL

scorpio angel you are so right. im w/my second cancer. he's driving me nuts. he's been in the shell for two months now 'punishing' me for some stupid innocent crap as though i committed a crime. ive learned to deal w/it. my ex of 7 years was a cancer...too.

scorpio angel you are so right. im w/my second cancer. he's driving me nuts. he's been in the shell for two months now 'punishing' me for some stupid innocent crap as though i committed a crime. ive learned to deal w/it. my ex of 7 years was a cancer...too.

scorpio angel you are so right. im w/my second cancer. he's driving me nuts. he's been in the shell for two months now 'punishing' me for some stupid innocent crap as though i committed a crime. ive learned to deal w/it. my ex of 7 years was a cancer...too.

"Unconquerable heart of a Cancerian"... Hmm i agree we are unconquerable sorts. See you revealed the problem dear. You dont want a partnership, you want a conquest. A cancer wont allow that. It is a sign of leadership.

On a sincere note: read this book: Men Are from Mars & Women form Venus"... You will soon realise that most men behave like your cancerman descriptions.🙂

Hi There Lola!

ROFL... Of course I didn't mean a true conquest as in he becomes a puppet, though hmmmm that does sound fun, even for just a little while. No, seriously, a partnership sounds wonderful, but the conquering I meant was getting through that thick shell to see what's inside his heart so I can know if this is truly the beginning a partnership built to last. I feel like a little school girl. He loves me - he loves me not lol

I will read the book. I've heard of it before, just never had the time to read it. Thanks for the advice.

Lola, good luck with Cancerian candidate #2. I hope this time works out better for you.

ScorpAngel Have you ever asked him toshow you his family album? If he has aleady done ti a dozen times on his own. You Ask Him. And inssit that you wnat to see his baby pictures.The storoes of his first day to school & many other horror & best moment stories.

And ScorpAngel remember while in case of a cancer it is obvious that s/he is in shell... not sharing... in case of many other signs (most prominently Scorpios LOL) you may not even realise that they are not sharing something because they are able to blabber and fool people that they aint hiding nothing. With Cancer you can easily tell when something is off the way.

🙂

yeah, we do that somtimes. Its our so called "protective shell he'll crawl out eventually.

LOL Now to hear him talk, I'm as easy to read as a book. Regarding the family pics, he doesn't share much of himself and when I ask questions, he appears offended or tunes me out. Help, I don't think this is a typical Cancerian. Something tells me I'm in deep this time LOL.

With regards to that protective shell is there a timeframe on how long it takes for a crab to come out of their shell. I'd like to set a timer so I know when to expect a new crab to appear. lol

ScorpAngel! either he is not cancerian or he is over grown boy scared as hell afraid of saying even more than hello to anybody than dear MOM. & he never learned to rise out of self-pity & bring out that fantasticaaly funny & sensitive caring qualities of a cancer.

Cancer or no cancer, I just cant imagine anybody behaving like that in a close relationship. 😢

Regarding that shell....dear me if he is what you are saying, then every timer is severely under-equipped for your need. He will give the scientists some challenging job for a new technological innovation. 😉
To me he looks like a person who has simply not grown up to turn his attention from himself..out.. to people around him. The way you are hanging on to him looks like as if his mama appointed you to look after her overgrown baby boy LOL. Do one thing. Take him back to mama and if the mama is in clouds then to his immediate female caretaker and deposit him back there singing:

"Take thus job an shove it.
Ah aint workang hare naw more".

HA hA Just joking. But I know that is a tough situation for you.

Best of luck!

Wow... that sounds like me though. I think all water signs could be that way. But that "YOU SHOULD KNOW" crap, would drive me up the wall. Somethings wrong. My cancer...hes not my man, but he was, but we are best friends now..is like that.

Hello everybody I NEED HELP TOO! "Help, he's driving me crazy!"
I'm also a Scorp female and have been dating Cancer guy for 10-11 months.

I really don't want to generalize, but the stories the scorp gals here have been telling so far are sooo similar. Why is that?

My Cancer guy...Well, he has ironically survived cancer in real life and has had it hard. His mother(Aries) was heavily sick when he was little so he learned to take care of himself and his mother very young. She was never strong enough, emotionally or physically. His father was a Pisces and away working a lot. He'd tell me stories of him making breakfast for both of his parents when he was six--I mean, how weird is that? Long story, but let's just say that his dad became an alchololic and was diagnosed with bi-polar, and left his family. Now he's the "caregiver" and the man of the house, his mother's pseudo-husband, his little sister's "father figure". So many times he'd be over and his mom would call, he'd leave, telling me he was needed. It wasn't that he was needed that was my problem, I think it was how unhealthy this all seemed: all this burden on his shoulders (and mine)That's the thing: he's been "needed" all his life and he likes to be needed, and his way of showing he cares seems to be by fulfilling needs and caregiving.

When he met me, he loved my independence (at least emotionally) and told me he needed to be a bit selfish like me. He showered me with love, definitely too much, too soon. I felt (as an intuitive scorp) that he was insecure, but he was so sweet, and it felt so good to be taken care of. However, I had my boundaries. I'd stop him when I felt I didn't need to be taken care of, actually strongly reacting to the overly-nurturing nature of his at times as well. It was just waaay too suffocating...He'd lash back at me, feeling unloved, rejected and useless. He'd get soooooooo offended.

He's also very needy and clingy.

Anyway, now last week I told him I wanted to stay in the restaurant we were dining in, and he had to go anyway. I was going to sit, finish my coffee, and read. To him, sitting in restaurants on your own is a tragic thing and he said he couldn't do that to me. What the....—? He just kept going, and I stood my ground and insisted that I'd stay. He stormed out of the place, telling me he isn't happy with me. Now he's all quiet on me, which makes me more and more resentful...I e-mailed him so many times, no answer. He's "punishing me". So annoying!

Now...after a very long intro...what should I do? I don't want to be the one calling...I already e-mailed three times, all nice and making attempts to communicate...I swear. Now I'm not going to be the one calling and being scolded at! What the hell is he doing? We haven't "broken up", he has my keys...I have a lot of his stuff. I do love him but feel he's just too needy for me. In return, he feels unloved and unappreciated. I've always tried to be grateful, but apparently I'm cold and have no emotion.
This is a way too long entry. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

How pathetic?.

You remember the story of that frog and the Scorpio which wanted to cross the river—

Now? the way you handle that poor guy reminds me the same story lady.. how about some understanding ..?? phoned him, mailed him?huh?why don?t knock on his door then? You sure you like the guy or not..??.

In regards with all those problems he had and still has, this story going to continue again and again.. Why don?t you just wise up and see if you really like him then show your support in the way he can recognise it.

Its is not because he is Cancerian or any other signs? he is an individual with premature childhood, if you can accept it and respect it is going to be nice, if not leave him alone and get along with someone that can cover your ego and satisfy you arrogant nature.

After all Scorpios are good for only one thing?!

Dear Qbone...

Ok, I know what I wrote sounds harsh and cold. And maybe in the hight of emotions, I got carried away. But it is hard to date someone like that. It really is. A person like that comes with a lot of baggage, and much much need for validation. How about some understanding for me? Nothing is ever black and white. I have enormous sympathy for his childhood situation, but it seems no matter what I do, he never feels loved enough.

You did have a few valid points, though, and even though what you wrote was very harsh, it made me think. I guess it does come down to that: you love someone, you keep going no matter what. You support them. I just don't see it going anywhere. However, I also don't want to let go. Despite the weird stuff, there is love there. I have a lot of love for him as a person. Maybe he's not what I need as a man?

And...Don't you think that just because I wanted to stay in a restaurant and was stubborn about it, him not talking to me for a week is a bit extreme? He does this a lot. Giving me the silent treatment and punishing me.

Anyway...I guess, thanks. People like me aren't necessarily arrogant. Maybe they're in the process of deciding something is not right for them. Maybe someone else can make him much happier. That doesn't make me the devil😢

Any other opinions?

Amen for the parallax post (part one and two). For once for GOD sake I agree with what he says. Well? most of it..
hehe

Jesus! Why all the hate? Can't someone share something and ask for an opinion? Can't someone feel a certain way about something?

The restaurant thing...It was a brunch place, a diner. He had to go to school. I like finishing off slowly, he was rushing me because he had to leave. All I wanted was to sit and finish my coffee slowly and maybe get a refill. Shouldn't one have to be able to have a certain comfort with someone and be able to do that?

Why all the hate, honestly? He's not a victim. I'm not a selfish person.

He can say quite nasty things too, you know.
Jesus! Can't anyone understand a young woman's fear of comprimising, when we've all seen our mothers or grandmothers constantly comprimising and ending up not having a life of their own?

You people are so hostile. I'm not the first one here bashing a cancer male. Read more...No one who wrote something got such hostile answers.

So rigid too. As if he's an angel, and I'm the bad guy. Aren't you guys mature enough to see that it's never that simple? there's always two sides to a story?

And! Sweet-P...Or others...I did tell him from the beginning that I wanted to get to know him slowly, that I wanted to lightly "date". Not even in the sense that I needed to see other people...No! just date. For him, from day 1, it was a relationship, and we had to start working on things immediately. I needed time, he never gave me that. I was always honest to him. I did tell him I wasn't sure of my feelings as he was. I also told him I have a different pace than him. All that was fine in the beginning, but all of a sudden have turned into demands now. And issues.

As for sex, it's very personal...but do women have to go down on a guy even if they don't feel ready to? I am not. I also never insist he does it to me. He does it because he wants to, which is great. But then, I feel pressured. What if I'm someone who is not ready for that?

I'm not a liar. He knows me. He's the one unrealistically trying to fit me in his dream-mould.

Bah.. kafka...

You've got it all wrong.. no body hates you, you asked for opinion and we all respond it accordingly after how we've felt.

Sorry if you don?t like the respond, but the information you gave in the first post is totally different in the second (refined) version.

Would you like to hear; "oh yes dear.. you are right.. avoid that crab things in front of you, they are hard shelled creatures from the hell and they will turn you apart with those scary claws? avoid.. avoid?

Now, to tell you the truth as you've said it.. There are two sides of each stories, but it's all depend on the readers and the way they take it.

What was my impression of your post was exactly like Parallax has explained, an Immature kind of spoiled brats wanted to save her relationship..!! read it again for yourself if you doubt it.

You've explained his psychological state and his situation, now considering they way he see things (by the previous life experiences) determine his actions and behaviours, so as my two cents; I've said if you are not ready for this, then leave him alone cause it will continue again and again. Where is the "hate things" you've mentioned on this sentence..??

I am saying it again.. if you are not ready for this leave him alone, he is too sensitive for your kind and you are "unable" to understand him, having and showing sympathy is not love and certainly not a good stuff for any relationship, beside you know he is suffocating you, then why are you insisting to be with him if you don?t like the way he does?

I am sure Parallax had a same meaning too..

Ok, Qbone...I'm calming down. Thank you for responding and explaining.

Ok, then my question may be re-phrased as such: Is it normal for a guy from his background to be so sensitive (plus he got his thyroid removed, which was where the cancer was, and now he takes hormone pills, which must have an impact on his moods, I assume)?

He's so sensitive that he can't sleep in my bed...He's so sensitive that I walk on eggshells all the time. If I try to tell him something in the name of honesty, he feels sad and goes into his shell. I feel like I can't tell him my needs, because he has a hard-enough life anyway...It's a weird thing. We're like each other's security blankets. We live the childhoods we never had through each other.

I had a tough-love kind of Capricorn father (ironically the opposite sign of Cancer), and that's what I'm used to. My mother passed away long years ago. I grew up with men (have a Cappy brother as well) and I guess...I felt like I was the emotional one before. But I hardened up. I got colder and colder.

Now that I have the smothering love I wished I had so long ago, I no longer know how to deal with it. I'm so used to being on the defense.

Not to make this a therapy session!!!

Thanks guys...Further comments would be appreciated.

Dear Kafka!

I read your posts and jsut thinking aloud over here. Your last post gives a very clear understanding about the roots of your personal growth. Being brought up by a stern Papa & not having a female role model must have made you into a person who believes showing emotions like your cancer man does is not okay. Perhaps it has shut you off from acquiring the sensitivity to deal with an extremely sensitive person brought up with conditions like your man. Yes it is as normal for him to be sooooo sensitive as it is for you to be emotioanlly hardened up. And if I may say both are the extreme cases & unhealthy. Your first post itself shows that you are having difficulty in dealing with everything connected with this man . This is not as much due to what he is .. but also due to what you are.

What you wanted in life was to be pampered and looked after. You got it from this man but you want to do without the price that you have to pay in order to get that attention. The smothering love can be suffocating. And he is not prepared to give you the space that you require.. So you were getting into actions which showed him that you dont care or not happy. He maybe looking your unhappiness as afailure.Believe it or not the restuarant episode is just a way your subconscious mind was trying to express your anger/disappointment to him. he was trying to be chivalrous with you by making sure that he does the right thing while he took you out for that brunch. No matter whether it is breakfast,lunch Or dinner..the rules of chivalry are same . Sounds old fashion. But dont you wish that chivalry is one thing which doesnt get outdated?

Your reactions are an indication that you want out of this relationship. Accept it. What are you hanging out with him for? The pampering that you never got? Sex? The posts are clearly indicating here too there are serious problems. Ofcourse you are entitled to your likes & dislikes. Seriously I think you are feeling that you are being short changed. But something is holding you back from getting out of it. Can you be honest and say what it is? what it actually is? We do wish you peace & happiness & very glad to provide our incite into the matter. Hope this helps you.

Kafka

To be or not to be..??.........

You can't play this game forever lady, you are wasting yours and his time and opportunities both..!! What do you want me to tell you about this?? You both are needy and both interpret the LOVE and RELATIONSHIP in wrong way, how can you give love while you don?t know what is it..?? Reading romantic series for lost love feelings or asking for advises from others wont solve anything in your private life! You need to get your hands dirty in this department by yourself.

I guess you'd better use your head instead of your heart and cut the cord when both are ready to accept it, because as far as I concern you both are young and immature for this kind of experience.. tell him all those stuff in your recent post and ask him for his opinion.

Every men and woman need to be beaten hardly in this circus to gain experience and you are no exception, having that wall of defence UP all the time just delaying the session, some day you need to lower down that defence and start to get some real bruise? sooner the better.

Hey kafka I agree with Qbone. tell him all the stufft hat you have mentioned here. Write to him abotu it. Just pour your heart out. dont forget to mention what you actually like about him. He may never reply. Maybe feeling like a failure of not being able to make you happy. But it will bring a chnage in him. Will help him to grow. May not get back with you. But may become more matured for a future relationship.

Guys! It's too late...He broke up with me tonight.
We're still on the phone it's awful. I'm going to be so so screwed after this.
😢

Kafka,


You'll be ok in the long run, I guarantee it. But you'll feel awful for a while to come so beware. He also may want to keep coming back to you and performing their usual on again and off again retene, which will only cause further pain so be careful of that ruse as well. They are terribly indecisive.

As for Qbone saying "..ego and arrogant nature.". Coming from a Virgo, that's gold Jerry, pure gold!

Personally I can appreciate the space issue. We need time by ourselves, don't we? So never compromise on that, and I mean never!!! I was married to a woman (Leo) who was jealous of the time I spent by myself for Christ's sake. If they don't understand the need for 'me time' at the start, then they never will. Ironically, find yourself a Virgo. They seem to appreciate that better than anyone.

Yeah...So he broke up with me. There's tiny hope. But he's decided 99% . It was so awful. He accused me of all sorts of things: apparently he had broken up with me the day he walked out of the restaruant and I didn't get it. Apparently I had a whole week to take action and I didn't.
Whereas...I was giving him the space I thought he needed. I thought we were getting the clouds away. Apparently, I had to find him at school, come after him. I was going to go to his workplace this Saturday. He doesn't believe me!
I swear to God, he did not inform me properly. It's like mind games.
Now I'm so sad...but so confused too. I'm 25, he's 28-for those who don't know our ages. How do I know that a break-up is the right thing?
A part of me doesn't want to break up, I do love him. But a part of me wants to be independent and not walk on eggshells and keep being who I am. Plus it's a time in my life where I need to make career decisions, even possibly changing countries'decisions. That's why it's tough.
I feel I've whined enough...And I'm sooooooooo confused. I wish I could take his pain away. I really do.
😢

PS: thanks, eleven. Yes, the space thing was awful. I finally came out to tell him, and now I'm the bad one. It's so hard because I always so to speak tried to "protect" him from hurt and that's why all this happened.

Hey Kafka!

Yes you are in a very tough situation & sorry to hear about the way it went. Now you have yourself given solution to get out of this emotional mess. Concentrate on your career. Yes it is high time. Remember at the end of it what actually matters is your ability to come out of negative emotions and bring hapiness into your life. Remember sadness/failure never last , but happiness/success is never ending. This should be your motto.

All The Best.

Kafka,

I know I am a little late on this post, but want to just say I am sorry for your confusion and pain right now. It will get better in time for you I promise. And in time you will come to understand that this relatinship had to many incombatability issues to overcome. That does not mean that you do not love each other, it just means that you are to opposite from each other in personallity and how you relate the feelings you have. Kind of like apples and orranges, its not anyones fault it just is the way it is.

I hope your heart mends fast, and that you do find happiness in your future. Take care.

TW2

Thanks looneybird, twinflame2 and parallax.
It's amazing to wake up after this and see messages waiting. It really helps.

We talked again last night. I'm going to take a week or two off to try to understand why I treat him the way I do. (ie.like crap) He feels unimportant, unloved, unwanted. I might have made him feel that way. He thinks I don't like being treated well, that I should find someone cold like me. That he's got his stuff much more together than me. He said so many nasty, hurtful things. I would never had said that to someone.

I think one reason I lash out at him is that I feel somewhat threatened. Whenever he got too close, too involved, I got defensive. It wasn't to hurt him or anything. But he'd end up feeling hurt.

Jesus! This sucks so much!!!!!!!!

Everyone, thanks again for the support. It's well appreciated. I feel like a mess.

Hi everyone...My cancer guy and I...I saw him tonight. All the anger and everything went away. We're such suckers. We both cried and hugged. There's so much love there. Unfortunately, it doesn't change the fact that we should break up-it's the right thing to do, otherwise we're going to hurt each other.

Thanks again to everyone who was here to talk and share.
I know...Life will go on. We might even become friends.

Kafka,

I'm sorry for your pain. I know what it feels like and it's certainly not enjoyable. Right now it's sometimes easier to get back together so the pain can disappear but in all honesty you only delaying it for another day.

He needs too much attention and you need someone who wants gentle, subtle love and is secure in that knowledge and themselves.

To break up because you wanted some time to read a book by yourself is all the warning you need. It would only get worse in the long run. Yes you can still love him but you may no be able to live with him. That's the way it goes sometimes.

Personally, you sound like a strong, independant and self assured woman to me. Never be made to feel bad about that...ever! Be happy with who you are and if someone can't accept that then it really wasn't meant to be.

Keep talking to someone and make sure you have a good laugh,it really helps.

Eleven, if you want to know the latest updates on me and my guy, check out the "what is the consensus of cancer?" thread. It took quite a twist. Any comments/advice welcome.

I need emoticons!!!! Okay, picture this - Wide-eyed, gaping mouth "holy shit" thinking emoticon....

Moving on... lol

Someone - anyone - PLEASE remind me NEVER to post any argument my fiancee and I have on this website. *yyyyyyyyyyyipes* For those who do not know, I am a Scorpio - My fiancee is a Cancer/Leo cusp. It's rocky. It's rough. It hurts sometimes and it is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt other times. It has more emotion in it than I have ever felt. It takes a lot of work - Cancers are sensitive, easily hurt, and hide in their shells - and Leos are fireballs - Put those two together and hell if I know what's coming next. BUT, I made my decision to love him, I dedicated my life to being his significant other, and I will try EVERY possible solution before I give up on the relationship, no matter HOW tough it is. I guess you have to be ready for that kind of committment to make it through the rough times with a Cancer lol. God bless ALL who take it on... Even being a stubborn Scorpio didn't prepare me for this one. Sympathies to all who don't make it ... Sympathies to all who do 😛

hehe Shall I begin running now before the Cancers read this ... or should I stay and wait for them to catch up ROFLLLLLLLLL ... Be nice - You know I love you guys and I stand up for you all the time *wink*

Hugsssssssssss
Angel

P.S. Many people go through a lot of relationships before we find our lifelong mate... It may feel like the end when one ends, but you will survive to try again someday. Don't give up... and don't think you are not worthy of love because a relationship fell through. We are all worthy of love - question is, who is that one special person meant to give each of us individually all of the love we personally need. 🙂 Close your eyes... When you open them, life is still going on around you. So, when a relationship ends, close your eyes and open them - and life will still be going on around you, with another relationship waiting around the bend. Once a little inside healing has taken place, take a deep breath (spot another Cancer ha ha ha) - and try again (maybe this Cancer won't pinch as hard lol). ..... Okay, NOW I'm running 😛