Help with my cancer man! Help me my crabs :)

Hello everyone and I hope you are having a lovely day!

I have come here desperately seeking your help. I'm new to the site, but it came up on google and everything else I have read has seemed like good advice so, I am giving it a shot.

Me and my bf have been together for a year.

Him: Cancer Sun, Pisces Moon, Leo Venus, Scorpio Mars

Me: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Sag Venus, Cap Mars

^ an emo combo...to say the least!

The short version is that lately.. we have been going through A LOT of changes and tests of our relationship. We were living together (with his 9 y/o son) on the east coast of the USA (where he is from, but I am not) and I experienced some family emergencies and have since moved home (to the west coast, where I am from) to be near my family to deal with some things. We broke up at first, but after a couple of months got back together and were working on us (and me on my family, and him on his other life stuff) via LDR... everything was going ok, but then the last couple of weeks we have been fighting non stop. He would get moody and sensitive (then I would react and get moody and sensitive back - and a little scorpionic tbh - I admit, I admit... not my best traits...) and then he would get even more moody and retreat, and it would continue like a cycle. Most of our fights were based on insecurities (on his part) and/or his perception of my behavior (like if I was busy he thought I was being cold, and if he accused me of that, I got defensive. etc.)

About a week ago, he said he wanted to break up... that we are a bad fit, that we don't make each other happy etc, and that even though he loves me he thinks its for the best.. etc.

I was sad, but I didn't call him or contact him after that. Then about two days later, he started to contact me. Saying he is sad, that he's had other break ups before but this one has caused him "to feel emotions he never knew he could feel" and that he couldn't bear the thought of hurting me/losing me. So... we started talking again, and have been talking everyday since (phone and text) pretty consistently throughout the day, but its been..... dry? IDK how to explain, he's nice, and sweet and funny - but definitely not the same. Doesn't say I love you - doesn't display affection -albeit somewhat cut its ... "cautious?" (appears so...) and at first I didn't know how to take it, but after asking him how he was feeling, he basically said "he doesn't know - he is hurt, and still loves me/wants to be with me, but isn't sure how he feels and needs to time to "mull it over". ...so I distanced myself a bit (stopped initiating contact) and only replied if he initiated etc. to give him a chance to get the space he requested. Since then he has been inching closer and closer, but is still pretty standoffish. I mentioned to him today "would you like to come out here to visit me next month?" and he said "yes, i do, but I just want to make sure I am ready for that in all aspects, so can we maybe talk about it after I have had a little more time ? ask me again in a little while." to which I said, ok. ..

For me: When I am done with someone or something, I am finished. No contact, no calls, no answering texts etc. I typically make my choices pretty cut and dried and I don't really mull things over for very long. Once I have made a choice - changing my mind is next to impossible...

So... what I want to know is ... what is going on here? Whats in his head? And what should I do? Let me make it clear, my intention is to restore us and make him feel as loved as possible.

Thanks guys!!

but its* (not cut its*) sorry !

Also, just to note - this man has told me he wants to have kids with me, marry me and have a life together. This was no small fling. We have been very serious. So, I realize, that he must be very hurt to be now acting this/expressing these feelings. I am just wondering, is it possible to get you all back out of that shell once you go into it? If so... how?