Is my cancer housemate testing me?

Two things:
First one: So I sent my house mate a message this afternoon suggesting we get a bottle of sparkling wine to enjoy at home this evening and I said I'd stop and buy one on the way home. He responds back saying he needs an early night tonight. So I don't buy one because really... Who wants to have a glass of bubbly on their own. The moment is meant to be enjoyed with other people IMO anyway.
So I go to gym and when I get home, he's sitting on the sofa drinking the last glass of wine that was in the house! Wtf??

I'm an Aries female .... Not that it is really relevant here... But I didn't say anything to him about it because I didn't want to be petty, but it kinda stung a bit. Like he said no to my offer to stop and buy a bottle so we can both enjoy it and then he ends up drinking the last bit of wine in the house on his own in front of me!

Am I being over sensitive or was he testing me to see my reaction. If so.... What reaction do you think he was expecting? Do you think it even occurred to him that him doing that might not digest kindly with me after I put out a gesture of companionship?

Second thing: And why is he telling me to tell the guys phoning and messaging me to get lost? Over the last two ot three days he's told me three times to tell them to buggar off. And hes even mates with the one. Then he asks me straight out if there are any hot guys at the gym..... I say im not sure because i go directly into the studios, do my exercise and walk straight out the gym again and come home. So he says oh, ok... Then later I mention that although I still need to take a bit of time to put myself back together again after the tough year I've just had, I would like to give a relationship with someone a go again because I've been single for so long and he said "that's a good idea".... Like huh? One minute he's telling me to tell guys to get lost and the next he's telling me a relationship is a good idea.

Am I reading into this too much?

Posted by lotuslily
Two things:
First one: So I sent my house mate a message this afternoon suggesting we get a bottle of sparkling wine to enjoy at home this evening and I said I'd stop and buy one on the way home. He responds back saying he needs an early night tonight. So I don't buy one because really... Who wants to have a glass of bubbly on their own. The moment is meant to be enjoyed with other people IMO anyway.
So I go to gym and when I get home, he's sitting on the sofa drinking the last glass of wine that was in the house! Wtf??

I'm an Aries female .... Not that it is really relevant here... But I didn't say anything to him about it because I didn't want to be petty, but it kinda stung a bit. Like he said no to my offer to stop and buy a bottle so we can both enjoy it and then he ends up drinking the last bit of wine in the house on his own in front of me!

Am I being over sensitive or was he testing me to see my reaction. If so.... What reaction do you think he was expecting? Do you think it even occurred to him that him doing that might not digest kindly with me after I put out a gesture of companionship?

Second thing: And why is he telling me to tell the guys phoning and messaging me to get lost? Over the last two ot three days he's told me three times to tell them to buggar off. And hes even mates with the one. Then he asks me straight out if there are any hot guys at the gym..... I say im not sure because i go directly into the studios, do my exercise and walk straight out the gym again and come home. So he says oh, ok... Then later I mention that although I still need to take a bit of time to put myself back together again after the tough year I've just had, I would like to give a relationship with someone a go again because I've been single for so long and he said "that's a good idea".... Like huh? One minute he's telling me to tell guys to get lost and the next he's telling me a relationship is a good idea.

Am I reading into this too much?

Your Crab housemate is into you. Drinking the wine was to push your buttons, get a reaction/attention. Him asking about the guys at the gym and telling you to stop the guys from calling you is him being jealous and possessive. Him telling you it's ok to date doesn't mean date those guys who are texting you, I think he is hoping he is the next guy you pick. But I think you know all this already. 🙂

I had a hunch, but it's so hard to read him and I wasn't sure if I was imagining things because there are no other tell signs with him... That I can see. We are softer and gentler around each other than with other people and I feel a bond, but I'm not sure if it's one sided and imaginary/just in my head. I've conjured up connections before which turned out to be my own disillusionment.
I can't tell him I am starting to feel things for him because I don't think I could deal with the rejection or bare the consequences of messing up our friendship. It's so hard to go to sleep in the room next to someone you adore every night.

yea, you're reaching and looking for his actions to fit your wants. he didn't tell you not to buy the wine, so that's on you. it apparently bothered you, so you should have said something, petty or not. that sort of stuff festers and can cause resentment which can ruin good relationships of any kind.

perhaps he's telling you to tell these guys to buggar off because he thinks you can do better. if he is mates with one, then he probably KNOWS you can do better. maybe the constant messaging interrupted his tv program. him saying it's a good idea for you to be in a relationship sounds like he's hoping someone else occupies your time, because you are interrupting his tv program with stupid girl chatter.

guys' brains run about 40% when they are relaxed, so i wouldn't put too much into it

now, go make him a sandwich

That's so mean.

If Crab housemate hasn't made any moves to pursue you I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Let him find his way, don't do his job for him. But you can speed the process up by making it known that you are trying to date someone. He may declare himself if you act as if you don't know he has these feelings. BUT, I say really think about your feelings. Do you want to get involved with this guy or do you just like him?

@moon man: thanks for all your input. And lunar maiden 🙂
Perhaps a bit of background info as to our past: I've been close friends with him for about 6 years. He's one of my best male friends. About two months ago I came to dinner at his house (a few months after geting back from living overseas for 3 years) and he and his bro said they were looking for another housemate and invited me to come live with them. He and I did end up in bed once about 5 years ago, but I wasn't feeling the sexual chemistry so I wasn't bothered by it happening again. Having sex with him is the only time it's made me better friends with someone ever. Before, we were just buds. After, we started really being friends and confiding in each other about lots of things including the people we were seeing and we'd both often ask each other's advice when dating someone. He's told me before im his best female friend and that sometimes he can speak to me about things he cant even speak to his best male friends. We stayed in contact when i went overseas for a few years and we both said we missed each other a few times. we've always been supportive of each other even just getting laid. This thing with him telling me to tell guys to get lost is completely new.
We have no landlines, so if guys message me or call, it's to my mobile, which doesn't get left at home for him to answer. If I'm messaging someone he'll ask me who and if it's a guy he'll come up with some reason why they're douchbags and tell me to tell them to buggar off. The time he found out it was someone he knew sending me messages, he first told me to tell him to get lost and then about two days later he asked me why that guy was messaging me and when I said he was being a naughty boy he told me again "he must fuck off"
I've not spoken to other guys in front of him and I don't bring them up. He asks me.

Hahaha... Yes well I thought you guys needed a fuller picture of the situation.
And he is my housemate.
Does this change your thoughts people? Am I still reading into things too much?

Moon man: I did value your input and considered it valid advice. Please don't abort mission now. I could tell everyone just assumed I only met him when I moved in, which is why I decided to throw ^^ into the mix. I still need your advice people.

Well the fact that you two do have sexual history does add another aspect to this. I guess it's that Aries need for drama to leave stuff out and drag this along. Many Cancers are possessive even long after the relationship has ended and the feelings have cooled. Not sure if he is really interesting in being with you as a boyfriend or just showing some possessiveness and protectiveness for a former lover, friend and housemate. Take it one day at a time, I'm sure he will let his intentions known at some point.

Meh... I'm kinda over it now anyway. In true Aries fashion: a situation has to be gripping before I can give more attention than normal (not very long). Most of the time I feel the protective thing coming through, but last few days has been more of a possessive vibe. I'm just gonna let it role out the way it needs to.

Did your feels for him just came up. Because he could have been always this way and now u seeing it because your feeling came in. U would have to just see. Or maybe show him u are interested to see how he response