Made me believe again....

Didn't think it would be possible, or at least a very very long time. I mean YEARS! So enters this guy. We had some great convos. I told him I wasn't wanting anything soon because of all I have been through over the past couple of years. I needed to work on me. So slow it went. For about a month. He is currently deployed out of the country and due back in a couple of months. So at the time, cool, 6 months of getting to know someone.

Well something happened in his life and he was upset at the start of July, so I let know I was there if he needed me. He opened up and I spoke and consoled him. I mentioned I was looking forward to getting to know him when he got home and thought he was an amazing man. That was the end of it, he came hard. I admit, it freaked me out. I wasn't ready for any of this. The was times I wanted to flee from my own fears. But I dug in. And boy am I glad I did. We are so much a like in so many ways. We have a hard exterior that is seen by the outside world but a storm that rages within us. We have learned to trust each other with those most inner parts of ourselves. I have seen his manipulation and need for validation as I am the same way, so I give it to him and reassurance he needs as he does me. I have seen his moodiness and i am patient with him as he goes through the motions. he usually apologizes for them and i tell him no need, i am here for what he needs. I find I can be my independent self but yet have that man to care for and protect me.

I never thought I could feel this way, but it is a beautiful cancer man who has gotten thought to this tough lioness.

I am full of fire and fixed pllanets.
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Leo 18.57 Ascendant Gemini 9.59
Moon Aries 16.10 II Cancer 4.28
Mercury Leo 3.14 III Cancer 27.56
Venus Leo 15.18 IV Leo 23.59
Mars Cancer 2.27 V Virgo 25.39
Jupiter Leo 19.48 VI Scorpio 2.52
Saturn Virgo 13.39 VII Sagittarius 9.59
Uranus Scorpio 17.02 VIII Capricorn 4.28
Neptune Sagittarius 17.49 R IX Capricorn 27.56
Pluto Libra 17.02 Midheaven Aquarius 23.59
Lilith Virgo 3.42 XI Pisces 25.39
Asc node Virgo 8.28 XII Taurus 2.52

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Trine Moon 2.47 186
Sun Conjunction Venus 3.39 648
Sun Conjunction Jupiter 0.51 824
Sun Square Uranus 1.55 -133
Sun Trine Neptune 1.08 155
Sun Sextile Pluto 1.55 172
Sun Opposition Midheaven 5.03 -132
Moon Trine Venus 0.51 143
Moon Trine Jupiter 3.38 76
Moon Trine Neptune 1.39 87
Moon Opposition Pluto 0.52 -181
Venus Conjunction Jupiter 4.29 264
Venus Square Uranus 1.44 -71
Venus Trine Neptune 2.31 62
Venus Sextile Pluto 1.44 91
Venus Opposition Midheaven 8.41 -5
Jupiter Square Uranus 2.45 -43
Jupiter Trine Neptune 1.59 53
Jupiter Sextile Pluto 2.46 37
Jupiter Opposition Midheaven 4.12 -53
Saturn Sextile Uranus 3.23 21
Saturn Square Neptune 4.10 -18
Saturn Square Ascendant 3.40 -16
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0.47 48
Neptune Opposition Ascendant 7.50 -5
Pluto Trine Ascendant 7.03 1
Pluto Trine Midheaven 6.58 1
2869 -657 2212

Chiron Taurus 13.59
Ceres Aries 19.34
Pallas Aquarius 24.08 R
Juno Gemini 22.43
Vesta Taurus 16.49
Fortune Aries 0.00
South node Aries 0.00

Now to your question, no I haven't seen him cry. I will have no issue with it if he does. He has shown me parts of his beautiful soft interior which he admits no one see and keeps it covered by his hard exterior. I have taken it from him told him to let me carry it as I have the strength to hold so much and to take warmth I have so much to give. He has done the same to me. I have given him parts of me no one knows about. I am the master actress and will carry on life like nothing is wrong but I literally dieting inside. It has been hard to give him that as it leaves me raw and vulnerable but it is my way of showing I trust him with me and he has what no one else has ever had, all of me.

He has made it through my hard steel I had up to my heart of gold. It is scary as shit I admit but I have also learned to go with it. My crab is one amazing person and man.

Thanks. No problems with the questions. I am the Master Actress because I continue with life as it needs to happen. You won't see my internal battles. You won't see any of the pain or sorrow I may be experiencing. You won't see the thin thread I may be holding onto with dear life, terrified that if it breaks I will lose all control of who I am. On the outside, I keep life moving, I care for babies, I get my job done, and I am there for those who need me. It isn't until I can't hold back anymore things are to overwhelming that freak out and fall apart and I do that behind close doors. I then pick myself up and keep it moving. Maybe it is my warrior Aries Moon that gives me this strength. I mean "literal death" inside. Sorry for the typo. Meaning, I can feel my world is falling apart around me and I still hold it all together while inside I am in intense pain and feel helpless. But for the first time...I don't feel I have to go at it alone whereas before I had to be the leader and savior of all and suffer in my own personal hell until I rise again, which, I always do.

You won him when he went thru a crisis and you were 100% there for him. Nothing earns a wary Cancer's trust like that. You're golden in his book so long as you both keep trying your best in the relationship. I actually think Leo/Cancer is a great combo. I really love Leos. You are so warm and loyal and that really touches a Cancer's heart. We both have our foibles. Cancers are moody but Leos can need to take center stage. What makes this combo work is that leos love cancer's devotion and our verbal and emotional support of you. We don't mind stroking your ego and taking a back seat (tho not always!) And we love your warmth, sociability and passion! Leos are warm people. That's what I love most about them. I don't mind them taking center stage in the convos because I find them very entertaining. President Clinton was a leo and boy was that man likeable! I'm so glad you found the love you wondered whether you'd ever find. Try to be patient with our moods because when we love you, you'll never have to worry about our loyalty. A committed cancer will die for you. Word up!

Thanks Este8! My mind is still spinning. I still don't understand it all. I have always loved, but never trusted fully or been able to give all of me to the core. Those deep raw vulnerable parts of me. Those are suppose to be hidden and not seen. You are not suppose to know your weaknesses. As I rub myself raw and he has done the same, I finally in the first time in my life don't feel alone. I mean literately alone and more at peace inside.

The only thing he wants from me, is to always be by his side, and I have told him, that he can count on. Yes,he knows how to stroke my ego oh so very well. Makes me feel like the queen I am and the only one out there. But I also see when he needs it as well, and I give him all the reassurance he needs. It is funny, right now we are thousands of miles of away, but I have a strong intuitive connection with people I let in and I know when he is bothered or something is going on. So I just reach out and let him know I am here. He may lash out some and then comes back and apologizes saying he can be an ass sometimes. I tell him it is OK, I am here, I am patient and if I am that person you need to let it out on since you are there alone then do so. I wont take it personally I am there for you in whatever way you need me.

I see past his hard exterior, as I have always been able to see deep inside a person's soul. And see this amazing man that has to much to give and offer, and as the possessive Lioness I am, I want it just for me. He is MINE.

Watch it, lioness! That first paragraph makes you sound suspiciously like a Cancer LOL! I know exactly how you feel and if you've been burned in the past, no wonder you have those reservations. Maybe it's a good thing you do because some men love us and some men love to play with us. The right man does make you feel like a Queen and you make him feel like a King by loving him unconditionally and supporting him when the going gets rough! We've all got egos and all like them to be stroked. Sometimes Leos need the spotlight and to be worshiped but Cancers are capable of doing that for their Queen. It's really about both of you putting the other first but, of course, not losing sight of your core identity. But being a Leo you know how to shine, you know how to ROAR I AM! And you never lose sight of who you are and that's a very good thing. Just one tiny suggestion. Cancer's cryptonite is criticism because we're so damned sensitive and unsure of ourselves. At some point you will have to broach a painful subject. Just do it as lovingly as you can. Don't look for him to give you a verbal confirmation at the time. You might wonder if he's really hearing you. Trust me. He's listening to every word you say. You're his Queen. He just doesn't know how to respond at the time so he says nothing. This is key. Say your peace and then let it go. Give him time to go back into his shell. He'll think it over and then try to make you happy b/c he loves you so much and wants to make you happy. Cancers first response is always NO but the last word is always YES. Just be a little patient and he'll pay you back in spades. When you let a man off the hook, he won't feel defensive and will try hard to do the right thing. Just don't expect resolution at the time it's broach. That's key in dealing with conflict with a Cancer man. But they are very tender hearted and loyal men, good providers, responsible and love making their house a home. Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

My problem, I am careful with you I choose to give myself to. Because once I do, it is for life. I love hard, I give all of myself hard, and I hurt just as hard. If I love you, I will love you life, even if we are not together. So, you have to be a special person for me to give that part of me to you. I can meet someone and usually know at the longest, 2 weeks if it will work or not. But the one thing I could never give is that internal pains and vulnerabilities. I wouldn't be able to handle it being used against me.

Funny you say I sound like a cancer. Because the way this has gone, I have felt more like the cancer and him the leo. With how hard he pursued me after that incident was mind blowing. And how hard I tired to pump the breaks and pull back as I processed it all and tried to figure out how to deal with it. But oh yes, does he know how to bring the spotlight on me and he has such poetic way with his words that make me swoon. One thing I haven't been able to figure out is how to accept material gifts. I mean, the guy had bought a diamond and making a ring for me. WTH? Yeah, yeah. I know, I lionesses are suppose to lavish in that type of stuff. But not me. It isn't about material but substance. So i am having a hard time with accepting material things and not wanting to hurt his feelings.

I am patient with him. If something goes wrong or he is bothered, I just let him know I am here and when he is ready I will listen. He just understand he is not alone. It is amazing, with out time difference, I will wake up to an email and he has poured his heart out about that same issue. Damn, yes I love this crab.

Yes, passionate is what I am. In every aspect of my life. That is my Leo Sun/Aries Moon, so when the anger comes, I remove myself until I have that part of me under control, otherwise, it could get ugly.

No, not really. The way I see it, as long as you are not disrespecting me or our relationship, I have no issues. And if you choose to, then you don't deserve me.

Putting your heart on the line is scary, especially when you've been hurt in the past. Hiding the pain like a wounded animal is not unusual either. I think it's important to share that pain because what we hide, we empower. The trick is finding the right supportive people to share that with. Sometimes when the real deal crosses our path we doubt it and question whether we're even worthy of it. It's a trust issue and it sounds like you've got some. However, we all have our stuff we're working thru. It sounds like you've found your match and finding the right man really helps turn a new page in our life. When a man truly loves you, he's all in and you can't not know how he feels about you. And a man either loves you or he's unsure. The unsure ones blow hot & cold or just keep the pace of the relationship at a level of contact where they feel comfortable, ie not too often. Of course people are looking for different things and playing out different things in their relationships. But so many women, myself included a long time ago, waste all kinds of time on men who weren't "in it to win it" and they end up short changing themselves. That's why it's best not to settle for a man whose lukewarm in his affections and contact, if you're the kind of person who wants and needs commitment. For me, what's the point of being with a man if I don't have love in my heart and commitment in the relationship. My motto is no sex before monogamy for that reason. I think it all comes down to knowing who you are and living life in line with those values. And having faith. Of course nothing is ever black and white or perfect but there are men who are ready and willing to jump into the deep waters with me. And there are those who prefer wading around the shallow end of the pool. I'd like to think, I hope that I'm smart enough to wait for the man of depth. Congrats on the engagement!

LoL, no engagement yet. The ring as he calls is it is a promise ring. I mean who does that at this age?? But I adore his traditionalist values and ways. As much as I am progressive I am also deep rooted in tradition. But there is an engagement in the future per his plans, by VDay he says. I told him he has to do it right. Ask my step dads permission and my moms blessing. LoL

My trust issues doesn't come from my past, I hold a person on their own merit. It is my lerione qualities. The strength we show on the outside and god forbid you get a glimpse of those vulnurblities. We have a problem with exposing our core. But I agree, opening myself up to him and working with him has been liberating. Scary. But liberating. And giving me a connection I never experienced.

He is definetly hot and has dove deep into the deep end. Which has surprised me with him being a cancer and it happening so fast. It is me who keeps trying to swim to the shallow end and flee. But I am digging deep because I have a feeling this will be ride of a life time and he is a true gem. My biggest fear is, I really don't want to hurt him.

LW/CM seems to be a successful combo.
Quite a few long-term celeb marriages too.
Which is rare for Hollyweird.

Well, that is reassuring LM! He is on amazing cancer that is for sure.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick (Since 1988)

MAJOR Crab hug LOL

Sylvester Stallone Jennifer Flavin (Since 1997)

He divorced 2 Crabs. LOL
She was absolutely stunning before she borrowed his plastic surgeon.

These are the big names I can remember right now.

Haha! LM. The major crab hug with Kevin and Kyra is the exact thing he talk about doing to me all the time when he comes home. I means always talks about coming up behind me and taking me in his arms. Crap, how can you NOT fall for a Cancer Man. I really am losing my mind and tight control I never thought possible.

Dimplez, I couldn't ha summed it up any better!

Hahaha CC. You crack me up!