My Cancer man's uncertainty

To those who may help me with the situations:

Hi, I'm here because this is my first time dating Cancer guy, me myself, Aries guy.

It might sound cliche since I've been reading lots of threads regarding this combination and issues may happen.

Now it happens to me and I wonder if anyone with experiences could help a bit to clear my thoughts.

We met online, first we were chatting with pleasure and thought it might be great if we meet in person. So after 1 month or so, I visited him in his city(We live like 2 hours by train away)

You know, stay over, private city tour, nice dinner, by the time we needed to leave, we both agree that we are having a very good time.

I would say nothing if this is the end, but later on, we become much closer and started to talk about something further that we both started to imagine a life ahead. At the same time, he was starting to become busy since the game season, as he's a referee, is coming, he mentioned to me that there might be less time we can chat and less possibility we could arrange a meeting because the games are super exhausting and quite unscheduled if something happened.

I was cool with it, and it happened that we didn't chat that much during the time. I mean, we still chat with each other but not that much as before.

The process before we have issues: His family member knows about me(siblings) + close friends / I decided to move to be closer to him since I have more spaces and time to adjust my path of life.

Last week, before I'm going to have vacation in Israel, there were some signs that I sense, are abnormal.

Out of nowhere, he said he's been under weather in recent days and I said to him, I can sense that.

I was being thoughtful and asked him what had happened, and half jokingly said, I hope it's not because of us.


He said a part of the reason is because of us, that he's not so sure about us since we only met 3 times; he's thinking about some opportunities of jobs since he's tired of changing his own plans due to the sudden calls of work and family issues. As the date of my move is getting closer, I guess it's a great pressure to him and a turning point of his life.

I asked to talk this via calls and at the end, we made it. I was crying because I have no idea why things could go down so fast.(Now I understand how sensitive they are)

We both agree that during my trip, we are not going to contact each other since he needs time to think through.

Trip is over, I leave a message to him, asking something like "How are you?" (During the trip, he's still following my threads on FB)

At the end of non-important chat, I said to him that I missed him. But the only thing he said he's sorry because he hasn't thought all the things through and been unsure. That he wants me to believe him he's not playing games with me.

----

For that, my status is I want to wait for him. But then, I don't how to deal the situations and cannot figure why these all happened. Any s

I would guess that he might be feeling an enormous amount of pressure due to your decision to move to be near him after only meeting three times. Just to clarify, are you actually moving house/ changing your abode for the sole purpose of living near him? Out of curiosity, how long have you known each other?

If you have known each other a good while yet only met three times then I can understand a little better. Also, as an Aries, maybe you are sure of your feelings and figure that life is for living and you have nothing to lose? I'm not sure, but I know that unless I was in love and could envision a future with you (marriage and a family), I would feel overwhelmed by it and the effect of the pressure might not be a good one.

Has he agreed with you that it's a good idea to move to be near him?

it's a lovely thing to do for someone, but if the other person isn't totally sure yet, no doubt they will feel a huge amount of responsibility because of it.

@Natually: Mine is kinda opposite, I should be the one who says I won't pause my life.

@clare: Actually moving there is one of my to do list in life. He shows up in my life so I think it's a sign that I should move there. That's basically my purposes solely to be frank.

We have met for so far 4 months, and yes, I have nothing to lose since I'm a foreigner here without family and work issues. First discussion is kinda like normal chat with joke, that he asked if I want to move to his city and he would like to see me there to live with him. It was the beginning of the chat when we met and of course, I replied yes as I really put the idea of moving there into consideration before meeting him.

When it really comes, he was glad that I decide to move. But this was like a months ago or so. Not happened recently.

If possible, I would like to make him understand my intentions but seems like it's not a good time to say anything more. What do you suggest if you are in his situation?

Posted by Arieswander
@Natually: Mine is kinda opposite, I should be the one who says I won't pause my life.

@clare: Actually moving there is one of my to do list in life. He shows up in my life so I think it's a sign that I should move there. That's basically my purposes solely to be frank.

We have met for so far 4 months, and yes, I have nothing to lose since I'm a foreigner here without family and work issues. First discussion is kinda like normal chat with joke, that he asked if I want to move to his city and he would like to see me there to live with him. It was the beginning of the chat when we met and of course, I replied yes as I really put the idea of moving there into consideration before meeting him.

When it really comes, he was glad that I decide to move. But this was like a months ago or so. Not happened recently.

If possible, I would like to make him understand my intentions but seems like it's not a good time to say anything more. What do you suggest if you are in his situation?

the rest is up to you, dear. we are quite a complex sign and many of us are very different beyond what is the most typical. so i'm reluctant to relate this to myself because he might not be anything like me. you have only met three times so it is still early enough for him to not really be interested and he said he isn't sure ..
what are you going to do?

Posted by Arieswander

arieswander, i can't seem to reply to you.
i have a hunch that you might need to go into settings and enable private messages. 😎

Posted by Naturally
My cancer leaves me with a "I want to wait for you but then again I won't pause my life" type of feeling

Thats a good way to put it. I have been guilty of myself but it was usually not malicious.