My Estranged Cancer Man's Birthday

I sent him a simple birthday greeting via text at the stroke of midnight. He had seen the text within minutes but did not replied.

Nothing new. He had not replied my messages since the last messages on the day after we met.

Even after a few sporadic long confrontational messages from me & my promise to move on from him since there isn't any interest shown from his part.

As if avoiding me on WhatsApp, he also hasn't been online since 12:05 midnight. I said this because I look at his online status on a regular basis & he rarely goes offline for this long. I also very often caught him going offline as soon as I go online (he could only see my online status & not my last seen status).

Or, he's just enjoying his birthday out there.

Oh well, Happy Birthday.

Stop trying to analyze his every move. It has nothing to do with you. If it did, he would have blocked you by now. Stop being obsessive and stalkerish. It makes you look like you have a mental problem. Be strong and move on.

Hey OP was it reaaallly necessary to wish your estranged man happy birthday dot at midnight?

Anyway, u said he didn't come online after 12.05, maybe he is celebrating his birthday...but he could have replied something...i mean how much time does it take to say thnx

So u are a bit obsessed about him...checking his last seen on a regular basis...assuming that he goes offline the moment u online!!! Thats nothing...its just coinicidence

Move on already!

you seem to be going a bit overboard on the stalking. Sending him that right at midnight comes off as a bit creepy honestly. He might be feeling that too, so chill out!

I can see how I come across as stalkerish. I'm letting go & moving on & resolving not to look for him anymore.

@Arielle83 I wouldn't claimed he's in love with me. In his own words, he said I was the only woman he liked & wanted to sleep with. This is the man who said he didn't want attachment & to talk about feelings or emotions as they will get complicated. We didn't use the word "love" in our conversations.

In spite of his actions & words, I feel there's a lot deeper going on in his unspoken & subtle ways. However, I've given up on him after so much seems futile in the end. Funny thing is, since I told him I'll move on, he's the one turning hostile towards me.

Yea you have to keep yourself busy and lose all contact..loo king to see what he doing and texting him only fucking you up. Those thing fuck up the heal process of moving on..it leave you hungry..

I figured for myself, part of my moving on & healing process requires myself to be absolutely honest with myself & accept things as it is. I don't stop myself completely from looking at him but I've tried my best to stop sending him messages & I've resolved to block him from communication channels if I were to have the compulsion to send him a message.

Part of my moving on & healing is to also gave my all before I let go completely, so I've told him I love him, I've told him it's not working out, I've told him even I'll block him if it's required which he shouldn't worry is his problem because it's me, I've told him how I felt about him not replying my messages, I've told him his being selfish. I've told him I'm not angry, but disappointed about this. All without any replies from him. This was about 2 weeks since.

Posted by FutureSeeker
What you are doing would push someone away.

Out of curiosity, WHAT is she doing that would push someone away?

@FutureSeeker he has already pulled away, whether of my doing or not.

I feel bad if I hadn't been able to leave him alone too. I'm resolving to let go, move on & not contact him anymore. But I will not inhibit myself extremely if I find my simple action e.g. a genuine remembering his birthday & intention to wish him, to be harmless, I will go ahead. I had went through moving on from someone before & I know how totally repressing myself wouldn't work as I would fall into relapse sooner & repeat vicious cycles. I need to do so naturally, honestly, & accepting of whatever that happens and doesn't happen.

Anyway, he isn't a new man in my life that I'm trying to pursue. In fact, we were friends who hung out in the same circle during college 10 years ago but drifted apart & lost touch but rekindled about 2 years ago when I initiated contact with him again.

I used to word "estranged" as a lazy way to summarise the current state of our relationship or lack of, in fact.

I don't take offense, I always appreciate honesty & genuine intention. Thank you.