Question for you Cancers

Seasons greetings.

I am writing on this forum to ask what is it that gets you motivated to get out of the house? More specifically your bedrooms.

My brother is a cancer (July 12) and I think he spends too much time in his room. He sometimes spends his entire day in there only coming out for food and to use the restrooms. He has friends, but hangs out with them maybe once or twice a week. Im trying to get through to him to help get him out of his room and show that he doesn't have to be so secluded in his room. In his room, he has playstation 3, a stereo, tv, and a computer. Plenty of things that keep him interested.

My concern is that this isolation is causing him to miss out on other areas of life, rather life itself outside of his room. He is lazy and does not like the concept of work and spends time living in between my mom and dads house. (they are divorced)

My question to mainly the cancer males on this forum, is what motivates you guys everyday? In the morning? at night?

How can I get him to get out of his room more. My goal is to get him employed and out into the real world.

He is 19 and I am his older brother (23)

So if theres any advice you can give, Id appreciate it. Thanks.

Posted by Bsmurray
Seasons greetings.

I am writing on this forum to ask what is it that gets you motivated to get out of the house? More specifically your bedrooms.

My brother is a cancer (July 12) and I think he spends too much time in his room. He sometimes spends his entire day in there only coming out for food and to use the restrooms. He has friends, but hangs out with them maybe once or twice a week. Im trying to get through to him to help get him out of his room and show that he doesn't have to be so secluded in his room. In his room, he has playstation 3, a stereo, tv, and a computer. Plenty of things that keep him interested.

My concern is that this isolation is causing him to miss out on other areas of life, rather life itself outside of his room. He is lazy and does not like the concept of work and spends time living in between my mom and dads house. (they are divorced)

My question to mainly the cancer males on this forum, is what motivates you guys everyday? In the morning? at night?

How can I get him to get out of his room more. My goal is to get him employed and out into the real world.

He is 19 and I am his older brother (23)

So if theres any advice you can give, Id appreciate it. Thanks.

A girl friend maybe 😛

Posted by MissFisk
Nah. He'll just hermit his girl with him. 😄

hahaha,no he need a girl friend and the problem this things always works with guys :O

Posted by xPurrrrHissssx
Also, do you think he's depressed?

I think so.

I mean he likes doing what he does, nobody forces him to do anything really. Its just the way he conducts his life is rather depressing. I want him to to learn to take social risks particularly, I want his people skills to improve. Yesterday, he said the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he is afraid to talk to people.

Hes had a part time job before, at McDonalds, but he quit after a month or so.

I just want to help him get out and show him that theres nothing to be afraid of in other people.

Posted by LoveSeeker

Posted by MissFisk
Nah. He'll just hermit his girl with him. 😄

hahaha,no he need a girl friend and the problem this things always works with guys :O

click to expand

I agree, now that I am with my girlfriend, I am way more outgoing, social and basically overall more happy plus more confident.

Only problem is that I don't know how I would set someone up to have a gf if he doesn't want one....

A girlfriend is something you kinda have to want...

Posted by xPurrrrHissssx

Posted by Bsmurray

Posted by xPurrrrHissssx
Also, do you think he's depressed?

I think so.

I mean he likes doing what he does, nobody forces him to do anything really. Its just the way he conducts his life is rather depressing. I want him to to learn to take social risks particularly, I want his people skills to improve. Yesterday, he said the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he is afraid to talk to people.

Hes had a part time job before, at McDonalds, but he quit after a month or so.

I just want to help him get out and show him that theres nothing to be afraid of in other people.

What about school? Do you think he'd be willing to take some classes?

click to expand

He does not have the discipline.

Im thinking more towards him getting a job and learning about responsibility first before school. He really likes cars.

Am I being held back too then?

I recently moved back in with my dad as well, I was living with a roommate and then by myself for a little while. I'm here to save up some money and pay off some debt before moving back out. But, while I have no rent to pay, I have other bills and a job. I in no way consider myself antisocial or hermit like.

Advice?

Best advice yet.

Sounds like my nephew.

An old high school buddy came and helped him out of his depression by informing him that his job was hiring. They both flew off to work at this place and my nephew now does what he likes. Making money and traveling.

Sometimes a friend/family member they admire and who is willing to mentor and support them will have very positive results.

Keep being positive and don't criticism nor be mean about it. Just keep inviting him to go places and perhaps some business opportunities.

Ex-nay to the girl thing. Many Cancer males are shy and the idea of being put in a situation of hunting girls will further push him into his shell. He would need to build his confidence to get to that stage, I would think. Let that happen naturally, if he gets out he is bound to attract a few girls. As Cancer males naturally do. 😉

Posted by Bsmurray

Posted by xPurrrrHissssx
Also, do you think he's depressed?

I think so.

I mean he likes doing what he does, nobody forces him to do anything really. Its just the way he conducts his life is rather depressing. I want him to to learn to take social risks particularly, I want his people skills to improve. Yesterday, he said the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he is afraid to talk to people.

Hes had a part time job before, at McDonalds, but he quit after a month or so.

I just want to help him get out and show him that theres nothing to be afraid of in other people.

click to expand

You need to take small steps, be gentle and genuine.

Ok, thank you.