The Dance of the Cancer/Taurus

I don't know how Mr.C feels about the fact that I've obviously backed up from him, but really he's a Cancer, anything might be going through his head. The only way he'll know why I backed up is to ask, but thats just not him (if he feels how I think) he wont ask because he's scared I'll say "yes, I have changed my mind and I DONT want you anymore, I really do want to just be your friend"....
BUT
if he did ask I would actually say "you were so seemingly distant and noncommittal I thought it for the best if I just let things go as they would and see where they fall". Now I can imagine in his mind he would say "WHAT!! Distant??!, I answered the phone every time you called and I told you everything that's been going on with me"..and of course I would go into "well you hardly ever initiated contact and I havent seen you in months" and he would say "I didnt know you wanted me to" and I would say "well I told you" and he would say "that was weeks ago" and I would say "exactly, its been weeks and you still havent initiated contact or come to see me" and he would say "yeah you're right" and walk away with a smile because he now knows that I still want him and I really DID want him to come see me..he's still oblivious to the fact that he hasnt done what I have asked, sure that I was as satisfied by this conversation as he was.

Sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, or between waiting for something that may never happen or letting him know that you really want him to call you.

I don't know your full story, so I need to ask if it would be a bad thing if he knows you want him to call you? At the very least he couldn't pull out the "I didn't know you wanted me to call you" card if you ask him why he isn't calling you. Who knows he may just hear you out and decide to call. If you make it clear and he still chooses not to call then that would speak volumes.

It wasn't a real conversation, its an example of Cancer/Taurus interaction. Im not really asking for advice, Im just starting a conversation and more or less looking to see if Cancers, Tauruses, or any other sign can relate.

The thing is, is that after this conversation he knows how I feel and Im supposed to now know how he feels and we're both supposed to be satisfied. Im starting to understand how this man's emotional mind works; as long as he knows I want him there is little need for conversation about it in his opinion until he has a reason to question that or he swings into a mood in which he feels the need to unleash the romantic beast inside. Right now his romantic beast is chained, locked down because his money maker beast is unleashed, out on the prowl savaging hard work and taking the carcasses to the bank...but the moon will change and he'll switch it up.

i am so angry with cancer males right now. i can't even begin to believe the chasing i did for him. made me look like a complete fool. worst part is...... i still care... best part is, not enuff to pursure him ever again.

he called me this weekend at 3 am. didnt answer. he was prolly stupid, and drunk. if it was important he woulda txted me, or called me the next day. that never happened. so its not worth me returning the call.

if he cared about me, he would be my friend rigth about now.
but, hes just not into me. i can analyze his every move all i wnat, dig deep down inside his actions. But it wouldnt be worth it, cuz bottom line, he is NOT attracted to me at all, and doenst wanna put any effort into being myfrined. iF HE HAS TOLD ME THAT, THERE IS NO USE IN HOLDING ON, I WOULD JUS BE SETTING MYSELF UP FOR HEARTACHE.

wutta jerk. used me... a good frined of his, fucks me up in the head, then drops me.
GOD, IM SOOO ANGRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

LOL SRY LOL

I see what you are saying now sweetest.

You might be on to something with waiting for the moon to change idea. Being that he is a guy, I wonder if he is trying to impress you with his ability to bring home the bacon and provide.

With the cancer males I know it isn't so much that they want what they can't have so much as they are scared to initiate for fear of rejection or they freak out when they start to realize that they have feelings because they don't want to fall for you and get hurt. It comes across as rejection when they do it, but it is really self-preservation. However, if they really do have feelings they will come back around after they evaluate the fear factor unless you do something they see as harsh or rude or bad, etc...

You are right about that Taurus attention exchange Merc...but what if the other person isnt comfy reciprocating just because we're done giving? You know Tauruses are pretty dogmatic, so I'm made a decision to really look at things from the other person's view. Sometimes giving in a relationship, mainly early on, is the hardest because you aren't real comfortable with putting yourself out there. Well not the Taurus, once we've made our minds up its made and we go full speed, but for the Cancer little by little goes a long way in this stage.

Exactly Scorp. I dont know where the other people on the board are coming from, but this guy really isnt a meanie. He's just a self protecting, security loving, rejection avoiding irresistible man. I dont really know if its about the moon, but I know he walks to the beat of his own drum and he's just stubborn enough not to change his cadence for ANYONE and as lovely as I am, that includes me. At least until he knows I won't steer him wrong.

I know I hurt him before, it wasn't colossal, but it did cause him to reevaluate things and step away from me...this is why he's scared to initiate things and gimmie that good lovey dovey I was getting a while back. He's scared to go there again and get hurt and I don't blame him. I'll just give him time to work it out if he wants to and if he doesn't then we can still be friends.

"With the cancer males I know it isn't so much that they want what they can't have so much as they are scared to initiate for fear of rejection or they freak out when they start to realize that they have feelings because they don't want to fall for you and get hurt. It comes across as rejection when they do it, but it is really self-preservation. "

-----THAT IS IT IN A NUT SHELL REGARDLESS OF THE CANCER's GENDER----

We loathe & fear rejection. Taurus & Cancer are the same in many ways!!!!....It is a dance or ride on the merry-go-round.

"taurus is aggressive in the beginning of an interaction, calling, texting, email and im, but after that, we expect a little reciprocation, as to not feel used, played, whatever.

but cancers have an aversion to initiating contact. and can get defensive if you try to bring it up."

Cancers will initiate when they feel that you are into them, this is especially true of Cancer women. We can become very aggressive, that is after we know that is ok with you. We sometimes can get ahead of ourselves when feelings get involved and push people away not realizing that we are applying too much pressure because we are interested. So we could step back a few paces to let you breathe and what Taurus may see is lack of or non-interest, but most time it is not that. It is we do not want to smother you into being with us. We want to be WANTED not NEEDED, meaning when I like a man I want him to want me because of who I am and what I represent NOT him needing a woman to be in a relationship.

Cancer women prefer to be pursued by men, regardless of sign. I think that is why I in the past have been so attracted to air sign men, and couldn't get a read on Mr. T when we first met. It was like he was trying to hide his real interest and that in turn made me believe there was none.

We do not like feeling desperate for love, so although we may want you with all our heart and soul, if you aren't showing us in a way that we understand, we will be cautious.
We feel deeply and hard, and it is very difficult to get rid of those feelings even when we the communication stops.

I have thought about Mr. T everyday since last Saturday, trying to analyze what went wrong or whether I said something that didn't sit well with me, since things appeared to have been going well. Maybe I had on rose colored glasses.

Merc, on the Taurus board you said "taurus is loyal, but fear of unloyalty from ppl will turn them into a person who won't trust anybody, become paranoid and might do bad things."

I would attribute this to fear of rejection to from the person who became disloyal, which is the same rationale we use. We have a hard time trusting people because of the very same reasons. We love to nurture without feeling used.

"We sometimes can get ahead of ourselves when feelings get involved and push people away not realizing that we are applying too much pressure because we are interested."

hotgal very well said..and i know all to well about the above..

Merc, baby nah mad wid mi! Mi kno seh yu still luv dis hotgyal...>>>

*flashing mi finga wid it*

Merc, thanks for sharing babes....*smooches*

"now I'm just horny, really horny."

-How yuh tell mi seh yuh ah ready, yuh nah ready!-LOL

moon dear I believe you have confused me with someone else - I have not posted in this thread [until just now]

Oh man, if that was directed at me, I dont chase. I just send out a beam from where I am every now and then and let him know where I stand.

heyyyyy now.... I'm a blonde.....

a beam? IT"S THE SWEETEST FATALE SIGNAL..da da da da da da da da FATALLLLLEEEEEEE. TO DA FATALE MOBILE,lol. I kinda cuckooo today,lol. BUT ...what was da question? OH cancers give love, we aren't direct we do chase and yet at times we chase da wrong kind of gal but lo and behold. WHen we leave though they wanna come back or try to conctact you. AYe boiiiii don't spill my drink BULLLLLLLLLETTTTTT!!!! BOOM BANG BANG. ANd if you wanna hear a nice tune how we cancers feel about you taurus women listen to "taurus riley-she's royal."

awwww....that song is so sweet - if only all cancers felt the same way about taurus that you do :0)

I'm in a relationship with a Taurus and it hasn't been an easy which is why I love him. Other guys always want me for my looks but my bull was the only guy that didn't care that I was pretty he was most concerned with who I was inside. MercInAries I'm sorry you are having a tough time with Caners but she would be the ideal match for you. The fact that the Cancer gets up under your skin is exactly what you need in your partner thats why you easily fall for them. I couldn't believe how my bull got to me and I wasn't able to shake him but in the end thats what made me love him. No man has ever done that before. I don't know how great Cancer male and Taurus female are but I know that Taurus male and Cancer female are great together! For Cancer male I would say Scorpio female and for the Taurus male I would suggest Pieces male.

lol Cancer Lady he's easy to love and under my skin he just doesn't act like he wants to be loved. I do find it easy to fall for Pisces men, but they aren't really my type....they aren't stubborn or strong willed enough.

pisces men cheat - love them to death, they have great personalities and are understanding and all.... but never knew one who wasn't a cheater.

No - cancer male is definately the best match for a taurus female....NOTE I did NOT say the ONLY match - I said the BEST one........

lol Ive noticed that too Angel, a lot of them are cheaters. My ex thats trying to work his way back cheated and I think the one acting like he's interested in me already has a girl..I hate cheaters.But I do have a really good friend that isnt a cheater he's just really pessimistic, I call him a love hater. He's probably a good catch he just isnt my type.

Yes Pieces are too soft for me as well thats why I didn't start a relationship with one. I was really good friends with one until he started getting mad because I was dating other guys and wouldn't date him in that way and yes they do cheat thats why I love my bull. I'm all he needs.

CAncer is ..... lovable, adorable. emotional.Protective and we are commited. AN dyes can be kind of smothering but we can back off,believe dat. ANd we have serious focus and we cardinal meaning we like to take the lead.

"Ya'll want to fucking much, DAMN!!! Stick with Scorpio"

LMAO

ha ha - lovies moon !!

I WANNA BE SMOTHERED BY MY CANCER MALE FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he came over the other day, said he broke up with his gf.... started gettin touchy feely with me, and made it physical, i gave in alittle, but then i told him to stop, that he cant expect me to forgive him jus yet for the things hes said to me. he said: i said all that cuz i was feeling guilty.... i didnt kno wut to do, and u wouldnt leave me alone, so i had to tell you off.
i said it always seems liek the same thing with u, he said: i dont have that guilt anymore, i am single, we can do whaveter we wnat now.
i said... idont wnat to, i want to try and be friends again. he said: NO, I DONT WNAT TO BE FRINEDS, AND I WONT EVEN TRY.
im like: you have to try its possible. he said: no its not possible, after i crossed that line i can't go back, i dont wnat to go back to being frineds with u, I WNAT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS.
im like: camon, it'll be good for us, ur single now, we can give eahcother advice liek we used to, u cna tell me bout some girls uve met, i can help u out with them, give advice. hes like: imnot going to talk to u bout other girls. im like: how come?
he's like: becuase i jsut wont.
we kissed played aorund and stuff,
i said sumthin like: im nice to u all the time, hes like: no ur not. im like: wut do u mean im not, i am ALWAYS nice to u.
hes like: your nice to try n get wut u wnat form me, then u change ur mind again, its all schemes. ( i found that interetsing)
kissed again, fooled around abit,then he tried having sex with me, n i stopped it, and im like... thats enuff. i think u should go home now. and he went.
that was 2 nights ago.

I agree with you LK. Do you really want to be his friend? That in my opinion would be retarded, friends dont treat friends how he treated you...and did he ever sincerely apologize for saying those things to you? Did you ask for an apology?

I've come to a small conclusion that Cancer men are men and you cant start looking at them as if they're more...as lovely as they are. I think the dance of the C&T will always exist, if not with you for some other taurus or cancer in the same spot you used to be in or will be in. I thought the round and round I went through with my ex scorpio was crazy (being that were astrological opposites) but the emotional depth and sincere intensity of this Cancer has me far more tangled.

this is how i knew he was jus at my place for sex.
while we were kisisng n stuff, i said: you didnt even apologize.
him: well i cant say sry now, ur gunan say: or ur jus saying sry cuz i asked u to.
me: so ur not even gunna try?
him: okay im sry. ( his eyes shifted over to the side when he said it)
i said: what the hell was that?? u looked away. he said: no i didnt.. i said yah u did.
he said: okay fine, im sry. ( looked into my eye)
i said : uhuh...
after that, i jus kept kissing him and letting him please me, cuz well dammit, i cant resist i do love the sexual chemsitry between us, lol but then when he tried for more, and he flipped me over, n insterted, i got up, and said: thats enuff, u gotta go.
and he just went.
he wouldnt have just left if he wanted more than sex.

Girl you better cut him off, if you know you cant resist the chemistry you dont even need to be in the lab mixin stuff up.

Yes it seems as if you gave him too much without him having to work for it. He got more than he should have with you just being his friend. Cancer like a challenge and the minute we know you are easy (not saying you are but the situation)and know we have you, we no longer view you as someone we want to be with seriously. We'll keep you around to keep from being lonely but as soon as we find someone we really want or someone who gives us that challenge, we'll start to have less and less time for you and will eventionally cut you off for good depending on how things are going with the new person. You did good by not sleeping with him and in his mind that is the only thing you can do for him at this point is give him sex. He doesn't want to feel lonely or like he doesn't have anyone so he'll make time for you for now like I say until he finds someone he likes then his old self will emerge again. Move on sweetie.

Wow CL, that's very telling, maybe thats why the Cancer I was talking to seems to have gone cold, I just wasnt up for presenting a challenge, I was like "if you want it go for it, if you dont then dont". Although I think that if you only stay interested in someone because they are a challenge isnt based on a real sincere interest. How can someone so sensitive and scared of rejection let someone in that seems to be presenting a challenge...when I was standoffish it seemed like he believed I didnt want him and when I tried to say I was he thought I was insincere.

See the thing is we don't know how to go for it. You have to coax us in doing so and if you aren't willing to take the time to play into our games/test that we give you we don't think you're sincere enough and if something you think is better comes along you would leave us for it. We're insecure when it comes to relationships no matter how much sercurity you give us there is always a lil doubt in our minds and we have to know that anyone who wants to be with us is and will be in it for the long hall. If you give up or move on we figure you would have done it anyway eventionally and the only way to tell how sincere and loyal you are we're always going to be back and forth until you prove you are worthy enough for us to give our hearts too.

Oh and the reason why we don't want people who appear easy is because we feel anyone can have you and we like know that anyone can't just be with the person we are with, it makes us feel confident. We like a person we have to work to get and we make a person work to get us. But once you have us all the hard work is done.

Ok, I understand now Cancer Lady. I see where ya'll are coming from.

LK always make him feel like you need him emotionally. Thats what we're best at, wanting to mother and nurture. So the more you make him feel you need him emotionally the more comfortable he'll get in investing his emotions in you. He'll feel like yes I'm taking a risk but I know she is also, and that feeling is comforting to the Cancer knowing we're not the only one who's heart is on the line.

*sigh..... im too forgiving, too easy, no challenge, no fun 😢

Awww don't feel that way. Your mistake was still persuing him when he had a girlfriend. He lost respect for you at that very moment. Loyality is big with Cancer and what you do to a person we feel you will do the same to/towards us (you were doing wrong to his x girlfriend by knowing about her and continuing to be with him). We want people who treat others as the way we would want to be treated. We don't take wrong doing lightly in any situation because thats our biggest fear deception. We never take sides but always fair in every situation. I know you aren't a bad person, (you're a bull) but the fact that you were only thinking of yourself in that situation let him know that you only look out for yourself and don't care what you have to do good or bad to get what you want. (signs of a person who isn't loyal)

I can tell loyalty is really important to cancers...so do they expect someone to be loyal with no incentive? It's like this guy is trying to see how much I will give and how long I'll hold on when he plays cold to see if Im really interested....but honestly how long would anyone with good sense hold on to an iceberg?

well not an iceberg, he hasnt been cold or unfriendly..he's just almost blank

It takes time and I know you feel like giving up at times but that just proves how badly you want the relationship. We want to feel needed emotionally. We are a bit selfish and it appears that we only think of ourself at times but we think about our partner and how they feel as well, but we also know what they are getting with us and although the road is hard the trip is well worth it at the end. "slow and steady wins the race"

you seem really really mature and maternal CL, thanks for your advice and feedback

lol i guess, but how bout the fact that he continued ot have sex iwth me while ina relationship, i think thats also pretty dman selfish. lol

Oh you're very welcome!

LLT you're the lady. Ladies can't act/do the same as men. Double standards I know.

UUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL..... lost cause.

For the relationship yes but other wise no. You should have learned a valuable lesson here. Anything that doesn't start out right will not end up right. Remember that in your next relationship.

wish i wasnt so gosh darn stubborn

Yep I would say that is the only downfall of the bull, other wise you guys would be perfect, which I guess is why you're stubborn because no one can be perfect. If Cancer wasn't so darn sensitive which is why we use our shell for protection (which appears cold to others) we would be perfect. Embrace your faults but work everyday to improve them.

lol I always used to get on my Cancer friend about double standards, yall are full of em. I found with him the only way to even them out is to let him have them but call him when he defies his own standards.