The Prodigal Cancer Returns

So my cancer disappeared for awhile - I'll spare everyone the details. I sent him a text saying that if he wanted things to be over. He should have just told me. I did not expect any response back - seriously. I just had to get things off my chest to feel better...he replies with this...

Hey! Sorry for being so rude.....I don't have a real excuse b/c it only takes a second to say hi. I have a lot of unexpected shit going on in my life right now and haven't been myself. I have sorta secluded myself from everyone, just in a funk. You are great, iit is nothing you did whatsoever. Just can't tell u what it is on my end I just haven't felt like talking or hanging out with anyone.

I am sorry for hurting ur feelings and not keeping in touch.....

So how would you guys respond to this? Am thinking I will say some generally nice things and tell him I'm going to give him space but just check in from time to time?

Thoughts?

p.s. I'm trying to shut off my overanalytical brain but Do you think this is a cancer non-confrontational way of ending things?!

Aww wow ! I have been following your story. I was really ruting for you guys ! These Cancer guys are a trip ! I really think they are Bi Polor or something! I really don't think im in the right position to be giving advice considering in kinda in the same boat as you but speaking woman to woman we both know that your not gonna feel any better until you get everything off your chest! Im still ruting for you ! I feel for ya though im going through 4 months of no communication. If all else fails follow your heart !!!

damnn. how long did you gguys not talk for? I pray to god my cancer girl contacts me. She sais i have no place in her life and deleted my facebook and shit. Its been about 7 weeks now. ahhhhhhhhh

Well Wineaux, I think its not exactly time for a date! It sounds like he's still midfunk...ya know if this had happened maybe later into a relationship when I was more sure of his feelings I wouldn't freak out so much!! But you do bring up a good point - we have to all decide if this is something we want to deal with and if we want to continually deal with this...the decision lies on both sides... I am just going to send him an email telling him I understand, I feel bad and that I'm here if he wants to talk But I'm going to give him space and that I still care for him/like him and when he's feeling better I will be happy to hear from him -no grudges...

I've never met another astro type that so fits their description...the shell, sensitivity...its crazy! I didn't want to believe it but wow...

P.s. I've got to start being optimistic like PiscesArgie! She believed in the Cancer more than I did!

THis is what I ended up typing to him...

Hey, thanks for replying. I"m sorry to hear you are feeling down and have some stuff you are dealing with. If there's anything I can do Please let me know - really.

I"m going to step back and give you your space right now but please don't take that as me not wanting to hear from you or talk to you!!! I just want to respect your need for space. If you want to talk or not talk or do something to get your mind off things I'm here.

I hope to see you soon and I really do miss you.

Now I will just leave him alone ... i'll send a Christmas and NYE text but beyond that just going to leave him alone..

Gosh, I miss him so much. I just want to tell him how i feel but I don't want to overwhelm him with anything else if he's going through a funk right now.

Posted by mac101
damnn. how long did you gguys not talk for? I pray to god my cancer girl contacts me. She sais i have no place in her life and deleted my facebook and shit. Its been about 7 weeks now. ahhhhhhhhh

Whoa. It sounds like the roles are reversed here where you sound like the chick. If she straight up told you that you have no place in her life, deleted you from her social networking, and hasn't attempted to contact you in almost 2 months... then it's time to move on. That's more than a hint, it's an all out demand!

As for the poster... now I can see where things are different between you and your cancer man in question. There were/are a few people on this board (also having issues with their cancer) that loved to tell me off saying that I was just being negative and I was boasting about my relationship. Well, one of those people finally got the brush off from their cancer even though I had been trying to steer them to reason (yeah, now I'm boasting damn it).

Sometimes we need to drop the astrology aspect and see them as human. Men and women do go about things differently very often. Keep in mind that men are not as complicated as we women are. Women regularly say "no" when they mean "yes" and vice-versa. Men tend to be simpler in their communications. Even though there are always exceptions, it's wiser to take what he is telling you at face value than to assume any hidden meaning lies beneath the words.

From what I gather, there is still hope for you and this guy. He's letting you know that you're not the only one whom he's been avoiding so it's nothing personal against you. It's not your fault. You should feel some relief in knowing this. You can rest assure that it's not because he doesn't care, he's just down and needs time before he can come back out.

Just let him know that you appreciate his communicating with you and that you'll be around when he's ready. I'm very straight-forward with my cancer bf and always have been. I let him know how his actions might affect me then it reminds him that he does have an affect on others which causes him to be more aware of his impact. It is a slight pressure but a good one. As a cancer he cares very deeply and does not want to hurt anyone he loves. I think what makes the difference, so that he does not retreat into his shell, is that I say things in a way that does not put all the blame on him. I let him know that his actions/behaviors may affect me but I realize that I can be a little overly-sensitive at times which causes me to overreact emotionally inside. I let him know, and also show, how I try to overcome these internal obstacles. This makes things go over so much smoother. It helps us to be supportive and to remain empathetic. Hope this helps!

Okay you guys i had enough! Watson and I discovered that cancers are all pulling of a disappearing act in December lol

HEY NICOLE!!

Ive been absent from the forum and catching up now, there has been TONS OF NEWS!!!

Well, he has opened up and been honest with you about his situation.. Frankly, I love what you wrote to him and it is absoultely mature and shows you care. It is THE BEST reply you could have sent, being understanding and offering support. If you had claimed or gotten angry, he would have known what type of woman you really were..it is in these moments that true personality comes out..
You are a woman worth keeping for any man, and HE KNOWS THAT..but right now, he can't offer what you want due to his stuff.
It is a fair thing for him to be honest and not to have you there, for his pleasure..it shows great care. he could have gone on with the sex and he respected your feelings, prefering to let you go rather than keep on hurting you or using you.
I sense there is love and affection here, maybe timing is wrong.
It is sad to know that things should be so complicated for two people who care for each other..I have seen this in Crabs before, in friends, pulling apart from people they care, because of their issues, and risking losing somebody potentially important..
Anyway, now this time is for you to reflect on how you feel and what you want..you shouldn't "wait" for him in my opinion, and I guarantee you , IM SURE he will come back to you when he is feeling better...not sure if YOU will be available, but hey, he knows he is taking risks..he has to face them now...
I told you before I have a good feeling abotu the two of you, will check the cards for you to see what they can tell me...
will PM you the results...

Have a great Xmas dear, and be well...you are a strong, admirable woman full of confidence and will..you will be OK for sure, and CHE SERA SERA!!!!

"There were/are a few people on this board (also having issues with their cancer) that loved to tell me off saying that I was just being negative and I was boasting about my relationship. Well, one of those people finally got the brush off from their cancer even though I had been trying to steer them to reason (yeah, now I'm boasting damn it)."


I don't need to be a water sign intuitive person to know you are referring to me..it is OK, but know that I DONT LOVE telling anybody off...I just gave you my plain opinion at that point and please, I don't know who you are referring who got brush off by the Crab and you "tried to steer to reason" but if things didn't work for anybody here, it is no reason to be boastful, this is just plain INSENSITIVE of you. We are all trying to help each other here...so if the person didn't do what you told her to, and she failed, what does that make you? the owner of truth? well, I heard leos were arrogant and thought of themselves as the Kings of the Jungle but I didn't think it was so much like that...

Sorry if you think I believe you are negative, but this is what I truly think. I see in all your comments that you tell people to let it go, to stop trying, as if things were easy for them. WELL IT IS NOT.
I don't expect you to be understanding though..I guess as things are so effortless for you , you can't or won't truly empathize with anybody here..

so i don't know what to do know about the situation...he sent me that msg and I replied, but now "what"! Obviously I am living my life, but its occupying my mind 24/7...i am miss him, i am worried about him and really just want to know he's okay..

I feel like things are just open ended, just waiting... I can't describe it...i don't know what's going on...

^^ I feel for you. it is very confusing and believe me it is that way for him also. welcome to the world of crabby love...