How do you woo a second decan Cancer?

How does one go about building the trust relationship with a second decan Cancer. HE is really VERY PRIVATE. and tells me he cannot trust me. BUt he is the one keeping all the secrets. Very confusing.

I don't think I could be wooed. Be present and available and he might get interested eventually. It has to come from us.

So hinting that you might be interested in him is a no no? How will he know? They are so shy. well i did compliment him on his new look. has that freaked him out? OH LORD!

MoonBunny- Pay attention when he lets up even "a little", rare though the event may be.

Listen and keep that little secret to yourself. No exception.

What does this mean?

My crab is a first decan but he is also private and distrustful.
How to change-improve that?
Don't be secretive yourself..be open and accessible.
I remember at the very beginning my Crab used to suspect I saw other guys.
Once he told me..well maybe one day I will drop by your house at an unexpected hour without notice...just to check you are alone...
I said: You are welcome to come at any time...it will be a pleasure and an excuse to spend more time with you.
Needless to say, he never did that, I guess if I had said..no, dont do that, he would have felt more insecure.
Also, whenever Im going out without him, I always tell him he is welcome to come or to pick me up later.
I guess they distrust if you aren't open.
They want to know all about you but won't say much about them.
That takes time and intelligence from your part...you can make him open in a loving way, never pushing. Pushing a Crab will be not only worthless but also a cause for retreat and withdrawal. It will NEVER work , it is not that they will react to it. Imagine how a Crab operates, I mean the crustacean. It doesnt go forward and fight but runs away and hides. Observe the crab and know they do the same thing.
Bear in mind the crabs are jealous, possessive, insecure and private. They are cautious. they dont trust naturally. they dont open naturally. all of this is WORK, for them and for you. and it takes TIME and PATIENCE...

MoonBunny- thanks for sharing. This is very revealing.Muchas Gracias

Does this suspicious behavior ever end? more importantly, how do you know the Cancer is "shelling" and has not just left you?

I love the dxpnet cancer forum. It actually gives me more information than any zodiac site or books. Thank you all for all your input! xo

"when i compliment him he hesitates with skepticism, "

100 $ % my Crab. Now he is slowly getting used to my constant complimenting..but at first he thought I was a fake, exaggerating..It is just my affectionate nature but he never believed me...even today after 8 months he still doesnt beleive all my compliments (though I know he secretively likes them)

PA- I certainly hope so- I would hate to have him scamper off for live because I complimented my mans good looks.

* life

Posted by Noosiekins
OMG we went camping w/ a bunch of my friends (alnog w/ his roomate as well) and he accused me of flirting w/ a friend of mine and that my friend 'wanted' me..even if he was happily married. My Crab (3rd decan) was like even if they're married, it doesn't mean they wouldn't put a move on someone.

I was sooo offended...he believes that people can love more than 1 person at a time..i'm like u can but it's a different kind of love....i'm like when i'm committed in a relationship...u're the one and only one i'd think of and love....

Cancer TESTS...uffffff!

I was accused of the same a zillion times (we go to the gym together so apparently he has eyes in his back and sees me checking out other guys)

CANCER INSECURITY
DISTRUST
AND TESTS!!! are u in or out—
haahhahahha!!!

The way you get us second decan cancers to trust you is for you to trust us. With your life. Every second of the day. No, I'm serious.

And we will trust you the same way. Second decan cancers are all or nothing.

Mine is a second decan but I don't know how to help you. I don't know how I got him to trust me because I don't recall ever trying. It just happened and everything sort of fell into place rather effortlessly.

All I know is that if he's telling you outright that he can't trust you... well, good luck with getting him to. I've seen mine in the midst of realizing he really couldn't trust this person he knew and after that conclusion he was pretty much done. He gets a "fuck you!" type of attitude and won't even pay you a passing glance after that.

There wasn't much wooing on my behalf. We became friends, hung out some, talked some, got to know each other slowly and casually, then he advanced on me.

Posted by ninjamu
Mine is a second decan but I don't know how to help you. I don't know how I got him to trust me because I don't recall ever trying. It just happened and everything sort of fell into place rather effortlessly.

All I know is that if he's telling you outright that he can't trust you... well, good luck with getting him to. I've seen mine in the midst of realizing he really couldn't trust this person he knew and after that conclusion he was pretty much done. He gets a "fuck you!" type of attitude and won't even pay you a passing glance after that.

There wasn't much wooing on my behalf. We became friends, hung out some, talked some, got to know each other slowly and casually, then he advanced on me.

Ninjamu, in all of your answers to different threads here , you always repeat the same:
How your Crab magically calls you and texts you immediately, trusts you effortlessly. is direct when all crabs arent and he advances on you while all the rest of the crabs dont make the first move....how there are no problems ..
So your answers don't really help anybody.
I don't believe there is a relationship that hasn't got some issues to improve and to work for and which take effort, after all, two individuals come together and must make some adjustments to strive for happiness.

Im not critizing your answers just saying they don't help anybody because you only highlight to all of us how you have no problems and how all is so perfect...and how our crabs must not love us enough because we have to make them trust us, open up, etc etc, and in your case the crab has magically opened up!! haha

I dont believe in perfection, nothing is ever perfect..and those who make others believe so, are lying to themselves and hiding stuff.....

My intuition never lets me down and I believe there is more to it than meets the eye....

We have problems, yeah, and most of us come here to vent and to seek answers and support..but we all go on with the crabs because we love them and because we care.

The "my crab is perfect and so is my relationship and there is no effort and if he doesnt answer is cos HE IS NOT INTERESTED bla bla" I dont buy...sorry!!!!

Please dont get angry, this is just my opinion and Im entitled to it....

Posted by 69virgo
Ladys quit giving power away too these men and demand what the Fuck you want and if they can't give it to you then get out.....

God, these feminists! "we gonna split household responsibilities: you cook one day i will cook another day," "Hey, get off, i am on top today! ". Girl, we would have a hard time...

lol CancerLeo Virgo69 is a guy!

Posted by virgodreamz
lol CancerLeo Virgo69 is a guy!

Hmm, how am i supposed to know that?

Anyway, i still do not like feminists...

Posted by 69virgo
@wineaux....maybe. you need to spazz out to your crab...haha..

I do this a lot!
I usually have to keep a leash on my tongue though because some of the things I think of when we argue are really mean and I know my Cancer won't get over it if I let loose with cutting insults and I'll feel so bad after the fact, but I find it helps to tell him when he is crossing the line. Even if he doesn't like it he'll get over it and it makes things better in the long run.

I also agree that astrology is not an excuse for bad treatment from someone.

For my situation Sun Scorp's advice is very useful. I'm super secretive so is my cancer. When I open up it really seems to affect him. It doesn't necessarily make him spill his guts out on the floor but it changes things. Also I don't take this to mean that I will blab my all my business to bring him closer. I think when someone does something just for a certain reaction it's transparent.

Posted by PiscesArgie

Posted by ninjamu

Also, your intuition does let you down sometimes. Everyone's does. We're only human.

"I mean, from what I've read in your past posts I think it's a little ridiculous that you're putting yourself through what you do with your SO. I do think a lot of people, especially women, will want the love so badly that they will purposefully deny what's right in front of their face. As much as I am keen on astrology, the biggest point for me is to take the sign out of the equation and look at him as a man. If I spent almost a year with a man, and he's still shutting me out and can't handle real communication, then something is wrong. Just because no one is perfect, it doesn't mean we should use that as a cop-out when the people we care about hurt us"

I don't really mind waiting for my Crab while he opens...the fact that I vent and we alL vent our "problemms" here doesnt make us weak women who would do ANYTHINGN to have a man besides us- It is not my case at all. I stay with him because of course there are many positive things about the relationship..maybe I dont make a point in HIGHLIGHTING all those things all the time, because I make a point in trying to undestand other people's problems and dwell on them and improve those areas there are for improvement.
But my Crab hasnt disappeared, Ive met all his family, we are going on holidays together next month..so I guess I dont think, that, as you say , "IT IS RIDICULOUS WHAT IM PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH".
I just don't hide those things that are not okay.
So dont think that all of us here are poor women who dont love themselves and would degrade themselves for a man..you are very wrong there. The fact we have some weak areas and that we come here to share doesnt make us weak. Good for you that all is effortless and all is good and right ....I dont mind my obstacles with the Crab, I dont mind working to improve things and Idon't mind the effort because Im not losign myself for anybody. Im just building something and it does imply an effort sometimes.

But PA is a Fish. Very private. They like to hide their minds which creates a distrust in the Crab. Time and patience aren't sufficient enough to wear at the Crab's resolve. Though yes, one should always trust the intuition. (Worry not, I expect the PA to ignore this advice as always. If you want your Crab to open up you must open up first. Time won't do shit to sway his path, we're stubborn like that)

Interesting- food for thought. I agree what you say about intuition. I always trust it and it seldom fails. Maybe you are right in a way , that Im very private too...good point to think about...

Posted by MoonBunny

Do DXP Virgos claim to know better? Lets hear it then.

Umm no being the online oracle is not so much of a priority of mine as it could possibly be yours. The statistics you provided were top notch and really outlined your relevance. Also the subtle shakespearian touch was cool and not pretentious at all. So yeah enjoy your time to shine I guess.

Don't get me wrong I really do like reading insights from other signs especially cancers because it can give me a better understanding of special people in my life but for me there has to be a point where astrology ends and common sense begins. Do people really need to form a pseudo support group to encourage each other to wait five million years for a text message? How much of a difference does it seriously make if the person who is spitting in your face is a Sag, Cancer, or Aries?

Posted by PiscesArgie
Good for you that all is effortless and all is good and right ....I dont mind my obstacles with the Crab, I dont mind working to improve things and Idon't mind the effort because Im not losign myself for anybody. Im just building something and it does imply an effort sometimes.

Anything of worth in life, requires effort...

"I already told you on page 4...when the crab man shutdown you shutdown, when the crab man don't call back don't call no more,when the crab man don't text back quit fucking texting like a stressed out high schooler...when the crab man don't wanna open up and talk about his lil baby feelings. guess what ?) You got it....don't open up your fucking feelings and life stories...when in crabland do as the crab man do..hahahahahahahaha"

excellent!!!! 🙂🙂

Bumpzzz

I hope you can help me understand my Cancer man...............

I'm confused and I know that does'nt come as much of a surprise to you as Cancerians are notoriously 'confusing' in the matter of relationships

OK here goes, met this guy (Cancer) great chemistry, etc., sweet nothings etc., then he told me he did'nt think it would work out between us .............. I was very upset at this outcome as I assumed that we had gelled quite well he told me he had never been drawn to or liked someone so instantly as he had with me I was one of the most likeable, interesting people he had ever met ........... confusing signals. We had had sex (which was entirely against my own rules) but hey ho so double whammy for me.

So I am now not only hurt but feeling quite cheap as well!!

Couple of days later he contacts me by text to ask if I am OK - I said GREAT how are you?? He said he had the blues but did'nt want to talk about it ........ would I like contact I said OK however I kept the conversation on a 'friendzone' level as did he - however as I liked him so much my feelings were developing even more over this period of time.
More confusion - he called me everyday - he responded to my text within seconds - however I was concerned he was just stringing me (he is a loner) and I was just someone to talk to. After much introspection and during our telephone conversation I said to him ' I don't know what it is you want from me' ............... he said he did'nt know either he is confused ........... and did'nt want to hurt me again - so I told him I could'nt be his friend, which upset him as he said he loves talking to me but I felt strong enough to say that I was'nt prepared to hang around whilst he sought 'clarity' as I valued myself too much and I had other offers on the table and he was holding me in a place. Finished the call by saying I maybe would call him when I was next in town !!

Few days later feeling sad and sorry 'AGAIN' I texted him to said I missed him terribly and I hoped he was OK ?? ........... he responded by saying he was missing me too but he was so stressed he can't think straight (workload) and probably would be like this until he returns from his business trip which is couple of weeks away - he finished text by saying he Hoped I was OK ??

WTF is going on here - what should I do —
Move on (which is not what I want to do) I want him, and I want to love and care for him but I have to get some clarity (we live at a distance from