sgtkilljoy
@sgtkilljoy
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 72 · Topics: 4
What Did I Do Wrong to My Cancer Interest?
Sorry guys, it cut off my message. I walked out of her office after being told that she needed time and was cold to me. I feel terrible, like I did something wrong but I don't even know what.
So how do I fix this? What did I do wrong? What do you guys think made her act cold to me so suddenly?
Thanks,
sgtkilljoy
So how do I fix this? What did I do wrong? What do you guys think made her act cold to me so suddenly?
Thanks,
sgtkilljoy
Posted by aquavita
finally something about cancer women. damn cancer men:/ attention seekers. :/ ( except Black Indian he s the most mature here). i am not cancer woman but i think u need to take a deep breath, go exercise, dont push her , send he a nice little note later on saying have a good night, also: talk about her son, make her feel comfortable dont push it. she is concerned that you work together and if it does not work out it may jeopardize your working positions. so u should have same interest and show it to her. tell her u realize that aspect. and go from there. but u need to really see it that way i think. i hope cancer women are around to help u out more accurately.
thanks. I definitely don't want to push her because I know that it will just move her farther from me??_
Posted by MilkySoftPosted by sgtkilljoy
She made it clear in the beginning that she would not date anyone from work and was not interested in dating at all, she was working on her- which I completely respect.
You have a crush on someone who is unavailable to you. She let things go a little too far and now she is demonstrating through her behavior that she doesn't want to encourage more affection from you. I don't think you did anything wrong, but if you really respect that she doesn't want to date or be involved with coworkers just give her space for a bit.click to expand
You're right, I was afraid of that. I was excited in many ways because I felt we connected, but it just feels awful to be shut out so completely so fast.
You did connect, she knows it and that's why she hit the breaks. I'm sorry. 😢
Not your fault 🙂 I just wish she wouldn't be so cold.
I'm also afraid that I have lost the main connection we had thru friendship. I really enjoyed getting to know her and I never had any intentions of going further until I got all the green lights... But I have heard it is like this with cancer women and times, hot and cold and at times you don't know why.
Posted by aquavita
correction: i used the description "woman u love", replace with "woman you have interest in". so yes , breathe!
I'm trying 🙂. I just feel like I did something wrong but don't know what.
I just don't understand the hot/cold. It was almost all of the sudden.
Posted by CluelessCancer
You're an idiot. Impulse explained everything and you keep asking the same dumb questions. Get your head out of your ass. Cancer women arent going to lose their respectability at the workplace over ass. Especially ass that's ten years younger. We hate being talked about. She had to ice you out cause you're too dumb and selfish not to be able to contain yourself.
Harsh. She's the one who initiated the flirting.
Posted by aquavitaPosted by sgtkilljoyPosted by CluelessCancer
You're an idiot. Impulse explained everything and you keep asking the same dumb questions. Get your head out of your ass. Cancer women arent going to lose their respectability at the workplace over ass. Especially ass that's ten years younger. We hate being talked about. She had to ice you out cause you're too dumb and selfish not to be able to contain yourself.
Harsh. She's the one who initiated the flirting.
CC is cooling off. U re in a limboclick to expand
Is that what it's called, lol. Made me feel worse. I never meant to do anything to push her away, never did anything inappropriate. And I'm not just looking for ass, I was excited about our connection- it's been a while.
Hey there'! I've heard cancer and taurus go great together. It sounds like you guys have a really good bond so far, especially if she opened up to you. I'm not a cancer woman by the way, but I have cancer in mercury and venus. Understand that cancers can be moody, maybe she was just having an off day or something set her off beat. Give her some time and I'm sure she will explain outside of work.
I don't think you did anything WRONG, but you did cross a line. She told you at the start that she didn't want a relationship with a coworker. Cancers are naturally flirty and we love flirting, but that might not have been an invite to pursue her.
My ex who is a Taurus was an officemate before. 16 years age gap, nothing wrong with that. The thing is it's very distracting for me to work when I see him staring at me inside the office premises. Also he is a relative of our boss. True we cancers don't wanna be rumoured about esp. if we have somebody we needed to protect. She needs her job stable. Family first. Are you willing to take care of her son? You got a complete package here.
Hi everyone, thanks for the words of advice and perspective.
Contrary to what some said, I am not out for just sex. I'm 34, beyond that and looking for something meaningful. The ONLY reason that I showed my feelings to my interest was because she was sending me green lights- flirting with me, complimenting my body, making some sexual comments. What was I to think? I wanted to get to know her better, take my time in opening up to her and allow her to do the same. I did not make any moves on her at her house, as I said after I told her that I thought she was attractive and had a crush, there was no weirdness at all. After watching the movie together, I left and it was just a nice day.
I've decided to follow some advice and let her process whatever she needs to process. The frustrating thing for me is that I would like to make this right, but I don't even know what I did wrong. But I have come to understand that even though she's been single for 18 months, she was married for almost 17 and needs time to process.
My main hope is that I didn't lose a friend. She's amazing and I want to continue our friendship.
Cheers,
sgtkilljoy
Contrary to what some said, I am not out for just sex. I'm 34, beyond that and looking for something meaningful. The ONLY reason that I showed my feelings to my interest was because she was sending me green lights- flirting with me, complimenting my body, making some sexual comments. What was I to think? I wanted to get to know her better, take my time in opening up to her and allow her to do the same. I did not make any moves on her at her house, as I said after I told her that I thought she was attractive and had a crush, there was no weirdness at all. After watching the movie together, I left and it was just a nice day.
I've decided to follow some advice and let her process whatever she needs to process. The frustrating thing for me is that I would like to make this right, but I don't even know what I did wrong. But I have come to understand that even though she's been single for 18 months, she was married for almost 17 and needs time to process.
My main hope is that I didn't lose a friend. She's amazing and I want to continue our friendship.
Cheers,
sgtkilljoy
Posted by Oxygenada
My ex who is a Taurus was an officemate before. 16 years age gap, nothing wrong with that. The thing is it's very distracting for me to work when I see him staring at me inside the office premises. Also he is a relative of our boss. True we cancers don't wanna be rumoured about esp. if we have somebody we needed to protect. She needs her job stable. Family first. Are you willing to take care of her son? You got a complete package here.
Hi Oxygenada,
I would love kids. Her son is 10 and I understand very sensitive to what is going on between his mom and dad. I'm sensitive to that as well having grown up in a broken home. I have also learned over the last few days that Cancers don't want to be talked about (neither do I), so I do keep my personal life away from work. I would definitely respect her right to privacy, as it means a lot to me as well.
Thanks for your words,
sgtkilljoy
And she even allowed you to spend some time with her to watch a movie, after you spilled the beans. Hmmm...
Sometimes, women can be like that. Some are confused (e.g. her divorce), some are immature (she's a Cancer, for a start) and some can't deal with a fantasy becoming a reality (i.e. flirting with you). You live and learn.
My advice: just block her out of your mind and act as if nothing happened. Keep things professional and look elsewhere until she comes back to you (if she ever does).
I forgot to mention??_ two weeks ago she suggested that we take a trip to the Florida Keys together. She'd even bought me gifts when I got promoted at work. Such a warm person, I suppose that's why the cold shoulder hurts so much. She wouldn't look at me all week. I don't care who you are, that shit just hurts.
Thanks for your words, they do help.
sgtkilljoy
Posted by aurora
you did nothing wrong, and i don't think you crossed the line. there is a possibility that she is not that into you, so she just don't want to give you false hope, but i doubt that's the case. her son is her priority and her job too. she probably doesn't want to jeopardize that for anyone. you kinda have to prove that you are trustworthy. you seem like a descent guy so that shouldn't be a problem, just be yourself. and if you have patience, and taurus people often do, this could develop in future. just don't try too hard, for your own sake, and not to scare her.
there is also a possibility that she has issues with the age gap too.
give us updates! 🙂
Hi aurora,
Thank you for your words. I want to give her the time that she asked for, so I haven't talked to her or seen her. While I feel horrible and just want to make things better, I'm learning that she just needs space from everything. There are people at work that said she will do this every few months, shut everyone out and it can last weeks, and no one seems to take it personally but of course I do because of my feelings.
You're right, I believe her son is her #1 priority as he should be, and I should be more conscientious of that. I feel somewhat guilty for spilling my feelings but in another way I don't- it was meant as a compliment, not as a lead to get into her pants??_ I'm just not like that.
cheers,
killjoy
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to post an update with regards to my cancer friend.
We've essentially had no contact outside of formal office emails... I've done what people have suggested and given her space and will continue to do so. I feel if I were to approach her that it would be counterintuitive to what I'm trying to do which is gain her friendship back.
She's very polite and cordial but doesn't look at me, even still. I hear her laughing and chatting away with other office mates and it does sting a bit.
Disturbing though in that other people, no less than seven in the last four days- have come to me with the same story: she will shut people out for reasons they sometimes don't know, and every few months she will shut everyone out no matter who they are.
I think she's an amazing person and especially more so when she's happy and social. If I don't get to experience that again, I respect her decision and won't think or speak poorly of her. She's gone through a lot in the last few years and I admire her for who she is.
Hoping to bring good news to the table one of these days... For now, it is what it is I suppose.
Cheers
Killjoy
Just wanted to post an update with regards to my cancer friend.
We've essentially had no contact outside of formal office emails... I've done what people have suggested and given her space and will continue to do so. I feel if I were to approach her that it would be counterintuitive to what I'm trying to do which is gain her friendship back.
She's very polite and cordial but doesn't look at me, even still. I hear her laughing and chatting away with other office mates and it does sting a bit.
Disturbing though in that other people, no less than seven in the last four days- have come to me with the same story: she will shut people out for reasons they sometimes don't know, and every few months she will shut everyone out no matter who they are.
I think she's an amazing person and especially more so when she's happy and social. If I don't get to experience that again, I respect her decision and won't think or speak poorly of her. She's gone through a lot in the last few years and I admire her for who she is.
Hoping to bring good news to the table one of these days... For now, it is what it is I suppose.
Cheers
Killjoy
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Monday of this past week was a completely different story. She hasn't looked at me all week, keeps the door to her office shut, and has been treating me so coldly. I tried to apologize to her and the conversation went like this:
me: I want you to know that I'm truly sorry if I crossed any lines. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.
her: It isn't that.
me: Your friendship means a lot to me and I don't want to lose it.
her: It's just different because we have to work together, too.
me: I'm sorry, again. Tell me how t