what should i do with him?

the cancer guy i've dated for less than 2 months told me he wanted to cut if off because of our different views of relationship and many things(e.g i told him one of my dating rules is that i only have sex with the one who's my bf, not just date). for him, he doesn't want to go serious, tho he likes me and likes to be around me. i really likes him so later i asked him whether there's a possibility to work out, he said maybe in the future, but not now, which meant that only when i change my view and we are on the same page. is this just an excuse or something else. what should i response? Thanks!

thanks, vanessa. i know, that's what he is smart about. he tells you the truth and let you make your decision. he told me he doesn't like receiving as much as other people do,cuz he saw me a person who likes giving, which might be a waste of time on him. he is so cold but real.
so he did mean it by saying there's a possibility for us to get back together?

vanessa, thanks. you are right. he is the most witty and self-centered person i've met. i'm just curious, what did you do with him? what's your cancer's reaction?

If he says he doesn't want to be with you now, but "maybe" in the future, that means he wants to have his options open, have you on the side so that whenever he finds it convenient he'll have you waitin for him. Well if that's what you want, to hang around that maybe one day he'll want a relationship with you, then do so, but if you want a guy who wants you now, not "maybe, I don't know, sometime...in the future", then let him go.

Yes, Vanessa is right. Yep, like I've mensioned before a cancer guy did the same stuff to me ... HONESTLY, NO JOKE! All three of us have been in the exact SAME situation (LOL, these crabs are consistent fellows)

Seriously, two months ago it all came down to whether or not he was worth it. My decision came with a combination of my own thoughts and from the insight of a VERY good man that saw through that cancer guy's bull-shyt. To this day, I thank him for his advice 🙂

Like Vanessa, I refuse to wait for a man who thought more about his feelings then mine. He just wasn't worth the aggravation 😉

HI!!!! Mr. Neg 😉

Yeah Vanessa, you said it girl 😉 Yep! In both of our cases I cannot argue with you! Yep, you are absoluately right 😉 😉 😉

However, I won't do any cancer bashing because I truly beleive that some have the best intentions towards people and others just want to use. LOL, we have the "NO GOODS" throughout the zodiac BUT, some signs seems to get more headlines 😉

you girls are great, i totally hear what you said.
this cancer is the most witty and self-centered guy i've met in the planet, i would say. the time he is with me, he is very sweet. and he is great kisser! but as long as there's even just another one more person, he will behave terribly indifferent and distant. he would talk to anyone other than me. it's so weird. how could a human being with feelings act like that? i don't get it at all. and it seems that he doesn't care about anything other than his own, not mention our feelings.

Yes, cancer man do have all those qualities that make you think long and hard about whether or not they are who they present themselves to be. The cancer guy I knew wasn't unfortunately, but it doesn't mean that every cancer guy is like this BUT I think I will have to LOOK VERY CAREFULLY before I leap next time.

And you are very right, all of that stuff seems so shallow now ... LOL!!! After dealing with him I've had an instant change in what I find attractive in a guy.

I WANT A HE-MAN NOW 😉 Someone who isn't afraid of stability 😛 I'm not sure if I can handle a strong personality but I don't mind giving it a go 😄

Well sweetcheese,

If things are going the way I think things are going with you and that cancer man ... then you are right. He is thinking of himself because he isn't committed to you. That's way he refused to make anything offical with you. Leaving you as a backup gives him the option of coming and going as he pleases.

If you are bothered by this, then be JUST his friend or leave him alone. That cancer guy still cames me, but I haven't called him since April. I can't let him do as he pleases with my emotionals ... OH HEAVENS NO. He's either in or out. AND IF HE'S OUT HE NEEDS TO STAY OUT, he's not welcome anymore.

*** giggles *** sorry, I'm a Cappy with an Aqua Moon, we just stop caring after you screw with our emotions 😄

Hey Vanessa,

If you only knew the crap I put with concerning that little man, you would feel the way I feel too 😉 LOL, when first came to DXP I was all over the cancer and cappy boards with questions about him, he drive me nuts -- I treated him like a diamond and he treated me like glass! He give me the blues before I got kicked back down to earth. It was a rough landing but it didn't kill me 😄

The only reason I seem this way is because reality kicked the hell out of me 😉

I'm very sensitive emotionally and us ultra-sensitive types are people you don't want to mess with, our eyes our way too wuick to wander while you are sucking on somebody else's "stuff" 😉

cappysweetie, thanks.
you know what, things are different here. the problem might be something just going with me and him. but he told me that he's always been like this, even with his ex.
but whatever, i'm not that into him, just physically attracted to him. i'm also keeping my options open, but really want to keep him around. but it's too hard for me to have sex with him without feeling attached after (we haven't had sex yet because i'm a very old-school girl, which i think it's the main reason he's running away. i turned him down three times. he must have been pissed, lol).

Yep, same with me sweetcheese

Honestly, he sould look at me and tell that I wouldn't open my legs to just some dude .....OOOOO Bull-shyt! 😉 Nope, he has to be committed to me. Sorry random, causal azz giving just isn't the way cappysweetie works 😉

Now, if things are stable OH YES. There's no way I would be with a man and expect him to just STARE at me. Something would have to happen eventually but that's a wonderful thing because we are actuall *** gasps *** darn I say ... "a couple" 😄

*dare I say it*

hahah...i'm glad you've turned him down on sex. my cancer and i have been "dating" each other for like 9 months and we're still not bf/gf (sex is involved). we started out as a one night stand. i think he's just seeing how far you would go for him. trying to see if you give in to him by giving him sex since he knows that you like him now. i think you're doing the right thing now.

lol,i know i've totally pissed him off. we fooled around a couple of times, but everytime ended it up with my rejection. so after i told him the real reason that i only have sex with bf, he came to me saying that we should stop seeing each other in a romantic relationship.
well, i'm a little bit regretful for turning him down cuz he must be great in sex. lol

If it's not one thing... it's another *nods head sadly*

so he meant it by saying he still likes me and it's possible for us to get back together in the future? i don't mind going non-serious with him, but have to make sure what he said was what he really meant before taking any action.

and how 'future' is defined?