whats with the crab?

whats with the crab?

How long have you known him and/or been leaning towards a more than friend relationship?

Well its been a long while that we have known eachother but have not been romantically involved in a long while.....we just started communication again. The reason we stopped communicating to begin with may have been due to me being ready for the next step and him not being ready? Then he said he was & then a miscommunication

We are slow to decide while we weigh out our long term decision very heavely, but once we latch on we hold on tighter than some can handle. If you really want something and like what he has to offer, then handle with patience while the wealth of emotions settle. You may not like it beings such an emotional being yourself. Most scorpion cancer pairings only work well when the scorp is male and the cancer is female.

So since you begun communicating again, you've noticed a push pull again? Can you give an example(s) of what has you wondering whats up with him?

I have a venus in cancer, so can give limited imsight. Ocean is must more adept at cancer traits. I for one am always skittish about loving someone until I KNOW FOR SURE that they are really into me. Insecure, yuppers.

Tells us more...esp about how he goes hot/cold.

The doctors are in 😉

It started with him sending a txt here & there early Dec.....not a hi....how are you? Nothing like that.....just radio stations we lizten to....they went unanswered, not because im into games but more so.....being afraid to find myself back in that place........this crab can somehow take me.....im vulnerable when it comes to him....my feelings very much involved. A few weeks later I responded with a like txt....the next eve...he send a goodnight/sweet dreams txt. I told him once I loved those txts......the next day...good morning...have a wonderful day....so im thinking....maybe hes missed me? But dont want to get ahead of myself? The actions that proceed leaves one to wonder?? Is Mr. Crab just playing with me or? — I must say...ive never been involved with anyone like him.....smh—

Seems like he is reaching as much as he can. It takes a lot for us to reach out. The little you get takes a huge emotional effort because we are so , seemingly, mortified by rejection.

CancerGem...Thk you for that...based on past experience w/him I get how it tajes effort on his behalf and I am so very happy he decided to reach out to me....its what tranispired after that has left me wondering......Its the reason I am so very afraid to respond....with this crab.....somehow I always end up feeling confused & hurt. I honestly dont lnow what to think? He knows how I feel....why stir me up again if hes not feeling the same

He's feeling out the water right now. Scorps and Crabs are much of the same. When you're scared or unsure, you retreat. We do the same. When we feel it may be safe, we come out of our shell and take a peak. We'll give you a little pinch or move in your direction just a wee bit to make sure it's okay. If we get the okay, we go back a bit again and decide what to do from there. Yours and ours biggest fear is rejection. So it's better to stay back either completely or far enough away to protect ourselves from being rejected. Right? So those little texts from him are HIS feelers. To see if you're still interested. Don't go full force, but if you are interested throw a little feeler out there yourself too, like you did. I will tell you too, on the downside but without any proof or certainity...this is also too could be to see if you're there to feed his ego, to make him feel wanted and loved, etc. That's not to scare you, but that too is the reality of some situations with us crabs *hangs head* So another reason to proceed with caution, but not enough to where he will feel you are not interested.

The biggest problem I see between Scorps and Cancers relationships is the fear of being hurt, and left wide open bleeding to death because we gave our heart. Fear breaks these relationships up.


With us crabs: Imagine a dance, and you will imagine a crab falling in love. Back and forth, side to side, in and out and around. I call it the crab dance, all the while the other may feel we're pulling away but in reality each time we do this it brings us closer to getting what we set to find out, and that is whether we will be accepted or rejected by whomever we have our eye on. And once we have that person, it's hard for us to let go. If you watch or study the crab, it truly is how we tend to act and react. Strange really when a person thinks about it 🙂

Deep as the ocean! Seems fitting....Your so right on, with your thoughts on feelings of being rejected for both us crabs/scorps.....I since have fully responded to his feelers.....as to not mislead myself if anything....I do still have feelings that run very deeply for this crab. What continues to baffle me is howour relationship started & how I was left feeling. It started off pure like we did all the right things...and somewhere along the way I started feeling used....so I backed off & asked him to do the same...but only after countless mixed messages? On christmas eve he contacted....asked about my plans and then insinuated he would like to see me.....I was very pleased & would have made room for him in my schedule.....he then informed me of how sweet I was & wanted to have some of me for dessert...RED FLAG! WHERES THE ROMANCE? He soo killed what seemed like what could have been a great suggestion......at which point the scorps intuitive feelers became involved & informed him I would love to see him, spend time with him but wasnt up to being dessert? My feelings hurt....he said that would be very nice......I didnt hear back from him that eve & with that type of initiation....I feel I made thd right decision ....for me but it did totally hurt my feelings....totally. He said we would meet up for coffee within the week....I havent heard from him....not even a Happy New Years! Why would he contact me again after these last few mos if all he wanted was "dessert" there are plenty helpings of desserts that are easily come by.....why contact me again....he always tells me actionsder than words.....his s screamed at me 😢

Blech. Want my opinion? After reading that, I would give him the cold shoulder again. I wouldve totally been turned off too. I can't say for sure, do please don't take my word as swearing on a Holy Bible, but what I was saying before about needing the ego fed, etc. this would be a prime example. Ick.

This is how I would observe it as both as an outsider, and being on the inside if it were me. His feeler texts were to warm you up, hoping it would be enough to get dessert. Be prepared, you'll hear from him again anywhere after this week when his offer for doing coffee is well past the 'date', or way later. Guarantee he'll act like none of this happened when you hear from him again, but will still have the same thing in mind. Or have some lame excuse. Sounds just like my cancer ex, seriously. He still is after me, and about the same as this guy is doing to you after reading that. Sorry honey 😢

Tell him to eat dirt if he wants dessert.

**so please don't

Posted by missscorps
Deep as the ocean! Seems fitting....Your so right on, with your thoughts on feelings of being rejected for both us crabs/scorps.....I since have fully responded to his feelers.....as to not mislead myself if anything....I do still have feelings that run very deeply for this crab. What continues to baffle me is howour relationship started & how I was left feeling. It started off pure like we did all the right things...and somewhere along the way I started feeling used....so I backed off & asked him to do the same...but only after countless mixed messages? On christmas eve he contacted....asked about my plans and then insinuated he would like to see me.....I was very pleased & would have made room for him in my schedule.....he then informed me of how sweet I was & wanted to have some of me for dessert...RED FLAG! WHERES THE ROMANCE? He soo killed what seemed like what could have been a great suggestion......at which point the scorps intuitive feelers became involved & informed him I would love to see him, spend time with him but wasnt up to being dessert? My feelings hurt....he said that would be very nice......I didnt hear back from him that eve & with that type of initiation....I feel I made thd right decision ....for me but it did totally hurt my feelings....totally. He said we would meet up for coffee within the week....I havent heard from him....not even a Happy New Years! Why would he contact me again after these last few mos if all he wanted was "dessert" there are plenty helpings of desserts that are easily come by.....why contact me again....he always tells me actionsder than words.....his s screamed at me 😢

This seems like another one of your signs is not adding up. The dessert thing was a bit lewd, but I would have recommended just sluffing off with a little retaliatory humor. Nothing too harsh, but I get you on the lack of romance. He just seems a little clumsy. Maybe your venus's don't add up. Or your moon signs (which is big for the relationships). Those moments of connection between a Scorpio and Cancer are quite intoxicating, but it will be a challenge for the both of you not to be offended by slights in your responses to little things. I.E. "dessert" and subtle rejection for lack of social grace.

Missscorps, I'm experiencing the same thing with my cancer. When i get a chance I'll share my recent experience and how I cope with his odd behavior.

sound like he's chasing sex...in and out behavior says so much non verbally, it's so hard for some of us women to get what it means b/c there are no words to describe it least not in a way we completely understand it.

In and Out is the equivalent of saying to a woman non-verbally, I'm not that into you but I like you but I don't like you enough to stay with you in a real committed one on one intimate consistent every day connected relationship YET but that doesn't mean I'm not physically attracted to you and don't think you're fun. I like you, you're fun, you're interesting, you're available, I love that about you, I love how you make me feel about myself, I like you enough to make out with you, hang out with you, have sex with you but not be SERIOUS with you.

In/Out protects him and gives him an immediate out when he feel things are too heavy eg not fun, moving in the forward direction which could escalate into boyfriend/girlfriend, he get you on his terms and if you respond to his in and out behavior you are agreeing with him it's okay to be in and out and maybe for you it is okay. This isn't always true especially if he's not initiating sex and he's just feeling you out and really making attempts communicate, asking about you, taking interest in your life, attempting to get closer to you outside of the bedroom but all the while being consistently cautious and patient.

@Leo....definitely interested in your story......Im wondering why they come back? Is it really just for ego stroking sake? Do they really require such attention?......this is a mature crab....I just dont get it? The reasoning behind it? Even though I plan on not making any type of contact.....still.....leaves one wlndering why

I don't think it matters why...A person is either in or out, if he's in and out well one things for sure he's NOT IN, that is the answer.

@tiki....yes im feeling the "in n out" thing you speak about......and I dont like it.....not at all! He took such time to get to know me initially.......seems manipulative on his behalf.....im not feeling it....it turned me off....

The crab tried to play that card......and I almost took it for sincere......glad I left him out!......he. omes across so sincere at times & then surprise,surprise!!

He is sincere but that doesn't mean he won't leave and come back, leave and come back, leave and come back, they move side ways like a crab. I don't think he's serious about you yet (he may never get serious), if he ever gets the kind of feelings that make him feel serious about you he'll stop the in and out behavior until then focus on you not him, focus on creating a great life for yourself, living a great life, go date, focus on your hobbies, focus on expanding intellectually, maybe even moving up the corporate ladder, focus on achieving your goals, go have fun, that's more important than him, he's just doing what he wants to do, doesn't matter why, it's his problem not yours.

Sounds exactly right tiki....absolutely right!...I have alot going on at the moment....and when hes silent....I go about my business .....its the times he attempts to make his "appearance" again.....throws a monkey wrench so to speak with my groovez, Im generally an expert in brushing things off....apparently not so expert where the crab is concerned....I somehow manage to get side-tracked..if only for a moment...but I do.....my thoughts anyway & I know its because i genuinely havr feelings for him that run deep.....sigh....damn the crab

Of course he'll still come your way, nothing preventing him from doing what he always does so why give him so much of your emotional attention because he's pretty predictable at this point, his behavior can go on forever if you allow it to.

I so wish I could just "turn off" the emotional ....like cancer us scorps have that "cut off" switch too...the switch flipped but the current behnd it lingers....

So I have had the same telephone number for yrs....I changed it for the first time in forever.....This crab knows where to physically find me should he care....but wont have access to reach me for any type of "dessert" phlne/txt attempts.....if he wanted to reach me for other reasons...would he make any attempt to do so or that rejection facor just too risky for that?

I guess in that respect, for a booty call, if that's what he's looking for, no it will not stop him from asking. If he gets turned down enough, he'll move onto someone else, but it won't stop him from asking, no.

@ Ocean Deep,

I just wanted to say that I loveeeee reading the advise you give .. It has helped me alot in dealing with my cancer's dance moves lol 😉

Posted by Jessica777
@ Ocean Deep,

I just wanted to say that I loveeeee reading the advise you give .. It has helped me alot in dealing with my cancer's dance moves lol 😉

Thank you, Jess 🙂

I guess time will tell...some days he would be over-protective wuth me...the goin ons in my life....give me advice even when i didnt ask for it...which I loved btw....I need to feel protected,cherished and taken care of...not financially but emotionally and he was great at one time....but the pull became habbit, the coming back too...luvin the crab but dont like his dance....im dancing to another beat.....

Im still dancing..... right into january! Patiently going with the flow of it all. Still nothing but convinced of something. He will be back just a matter of time. Since ive changed my cell number after having the same one 5 yrs..its going to take some effort on his behalf to reach me. He knows where he can find me until then dancing the beat to my own tune

Sooo.....my crabby crab send me a txt on my work cell....I dont understand him anymore....😢.....although I changed my cell phone number....I knew if he really wanted to contact me he had alternative ways of doing so, and he did.....the "feeler" txt.....as mentioned after the coffee plan expired as if nothing....I responded but kept it short.....something sticks out pertaining to ocean deeps responses....that rejection thing for both of us is SOOO an issue....there is definitely a communication block between us and my natural scorp intuition tells me its fear on his behalf .....I KNOW it is on mine. You see, ive been there & done this with him alteady....where I let go of my fear and put my feelings out there for him....I let go of my fear and was willing to trade off for love....but I grew impatient of "the dance" I was very,very patient with him....he thanked me one day for being patient with him.....when we are together words unnecessary...like we speak on many levels where a look means more than words....and then he will completey throw me for a loop? Im at the do or die point....hes not a passing moment for me.....the last time I pushed him away he had told me actions speak louder than words and he started showing me.....it was a communication error on both of our behalves that send us off track and it sometimes feels as if its due to that communication thing......is this still part of the "never-ending" "infamous" dance...still sitting back wondering bout his next move....while I am very much living my life happily as it maybe this crab still very much pulling on my heart-strings....

Moonman....I changed my number....however did provide him with by business cell maybe a little over a year ago.....he used it for a couple of days last year while my other phone was being replaced....never again after that. He knows where I work, he knows where I live. There were a few reasons I chaned my number....subconsciously yes...he being one of them....its the dance, the game...that side-step..a part of me willing to see whats next (his pace....of course!) But is this just it with the crab? Everything according to them? Yes, only I have the power to put a stop/end to this...I realize this....in the mean time I do my own thing...he is however always in my thoughts ... going with it....curiously

Where am I able to obtain chart info? Not well versed with this type of site.....that is until I got involved with the crab....

Here you go:

http://alabe.com/freechart/<BR>
I hope things work out with he and you as you want them too. I pretty war lorn of the water sign men as I went thru similar to you. Got the scars to prove it, but just keep your eyes on his behavior, not words.

At BGP...Thank you...all this rather new to me....the whole astrological in-sight stuff....I like it here =).....The whole crab & the mixed signaling......all new to me too! Im thinking....if its meant to be, it will be......have my fingers crossed! =)