What's wrong with him?:S

So, my Cancerian friend calls after God knows how long (NOTE: I pretty much gave up on initiating contact b/c I had had enough!). So, I knew it was him even before I talked to him (caller ID although it never says his name, just says "withheld"...What's with that?). Anyhow, the first thing he says, "I'm surprised you recognize my voice"...I was like WTF?? Seriously, why are you cancerians so insecure—

So, we talked blah blah and I asked him for his gmail since hotmail gets on my nerves too easily. He said he can't give it out!:O He can't share his gmail with a person he's known for 2 years. Provided that I haven't met him yet, but we've shared a lot so far....

So, I'm really confused. He says he's keeping himself secure b/c there's a lot of psychos out there and he can't really trust ppl he hasn't met yet (reason why he won't give me his address for me to send him a christmas card once a year). So, I tell him that it means he doesn't trust me...but then he says, it's not me:S He trusts me but he's keeping secure:S:S:S Seriously, is he CONFUSED—? And why is he confusing me— Or does he not want to tell me that he doesn't trust me b/c he's afraid to hurt me?? I'd rather just have him tell me straight up rather than give me all this confusion crap! urgghhh....i hate him...and yet i love him....urrghhhh.....

There's more than one kind of love....not the one you are thinking!

so sarasa,

what is your sign, if you don't mind me asking?
why are you questioning his boundaries, he is a cancer, for them is normal not to trust people and be secretive...........i also strongly suggest you refocus or tell us how come you got to love him, or like him and you've never met, i have a pieces frind that fell in love with this scorpio guy over the internet and after 8 moths of chatting(video+voice) they met and then built a relationship..............

Hey scorpio978! First of all, I'd liek to thank you for not being so critical. I'm a Cappy with quite a bit of sagittarius in my chart. Anyways, I don't love him b/c I think of that as an extreme....love doesn't happen in an instant....it's a feeling that grows over time....and I am insync with how I feel...I don't love him that way....

BUT, I do love him as a friend...we've shared a lot over messenger and phone....it is true that I started feeling for him more than a friend at some point and I told him that too (to which he didn't reciprocate b/c apparently he's afraid of long term relationships and doesn't want to be in one and NO he doesn't have a gf b/c knowing him he would have told me if that was the case)....anyways...that's not the issue....I just hate how he's being secretive all the time...I have known him for 2 years now and if he can't open up to me (like geez, what's with not givng out ur gmail—), I don't know what to say....when I ask him if he doesn't trust me, he says that it's not me....it's just ppl in general ...ppl he hasn't met:S...is he bsing me?? It's so clear that he doesn't trust me or is afraid of doing so....and that kinda hurts....especially after 2 years of friendship...I have another friend who I have known for the same period of time and we are like best buddies now (she's a Gemini)...yeh, we havn't met either but we talk a lot (wait, she does...lol)....either way, we are both so open and honest about things, we enjoy our conversations, we've been for each other in the good and bad times and I trust her enough and viceversa! so, what's wrong with this cancerian dude? I honestly told him how I feel about him being so secretive, whether he likes it or not....he can run bck into his shell and hibernate for as long as he wants b/c seriously I've had enough of his BS!

I just love to vent on here! LOL!

dear sarasa, it is really nice to have friends on the net, you don't have to have met to be frinds but i still think that if you want more, you'll need to meet as cancers are very physical......
stop questioning him and accept him for who he is, it is his choice, give him time, if it makes you feel any better my cancer guy never gave me his real name, he never told me anything about him for more than a year(we used to meet at that time once a week only), and he never gave me his landline number, he also lied about his age........lol, yes, as much as that, but i didn't make much of it(at that time we were only sex partners), i have never asked him for anything and no matter how/what i felt i never pushed him into anything(or maybe i did indirectly), he was the one to come out with everything in time, bit by bit.....just be yourself, cappys and cancers go very well together, you shouldn't expect him to be like you, that is why you click/connect, you need to be very patient and ItSeemedImportant is right, don't loose focus on your life.....anyway cancers can feel you, even if you do not want to tell them what you feel they just know......

just so you know, I'm not "losing focus on life"....that would be very uncappy of me...lol! It's just that him keeping secrets from me like that bothers me and he's aware of it now....that takes a load off my chest!=D

If he didn't care, he wouldn't have called at all! I love it when I don't contact him for a while and then he calls! love it, lol! It's super hard, but u do it once or twice and then it's not so bad!

weird thing is...he shares a lot about his family....but never a whole lot about him:S...he's weird!!! Whereas, I'm the other way around....I'll put myself out there but my family only after I get through a certain level of comfort....he'll share pics of his niece too...who's very cute btw....but he'll hardly share pics of him...his reasoning?? he's insecure....as if I was going to judge him based on all that...cappies don't generally do that....we look at your core/soul/heart....if it's not genuine, we don't go any further...i can't even be friends with such ppl to be honest....anyways...that's just my story!

Thanks for all ur comments!=)

i have to mention that if you want them to let you into their "core/soul/heart" then they will need to trust you, which is a very long and extremely slow process, and it has to be done their way because that is how they feel comfortable.....and you are right, if a cancer is not interested then he would not give you any attention at all, on the contrary, they are very selective....oh, and be ready for tests, you will not even know that they are tests, sometimes they will even push you away just to see how much you want them!!!it depends on how you react and then he will open up sooner or later...
very important:do not confront him with these things(his behaviour), as he doesn't even realize it, he will not be aware of what he is doing, however he will feel your every emotion!!!

tests! hahaha!! he's done that before and I've passed them...lol...(weird thing is he even told me after he tested me:S) and this was intially I guess to "build trust"...well, when I told him about how he was hurting me by being secretive, he was like "may be I shouldn't call you anymore":S and teh first thing that came out of my mouth was "excuse me—!" LOL...it's ok, he can call, or not, right now, I don't really care...I have a lot of other things going on in my life, so I don't really have time to worry about his weirdness and can't let that affect me!

Man, he's weird....and he calls me weird...now, that's weird...

oh, he only said "maybe i shouldn't call you anymore" because he wanted a reaction from you, he wanted you to say something like throwing a tantrum and then let him be, so he can chase you, they always make ways and leave open windows so they can come back and start again on a more solid base, he can also try to control you, and it is very easy to get him if you don't let him have his way, maybe that is why he calls you "weird".....
he feels attracted to you and he will try to make you open up, unless you haven't yet.....

"oh, he only said "maybe i shouldn't call you anymore" because he wanted a reaction from you"---SO TRUE! Now that i think of it, it's so true....he always does that...---->> "always make ways and leave open windows "....

"he can also try to control you, and it is very easy to get him if you don't let him have his way"----> Please elaborate...gimme an eg maybe....b/c from what I know, he hates the whole idea of "control"...and b/c he hates when ppl try to control him, he doesn't do that....or may be he does and other ppl just don't notice his manipulative mind! evil, evil, evil...lol!

and Yeh, he thinks I don't "open up" enough:S and I'm confused b/c I have "opened up" to him a lot...it is he who doesn't open up...whatever that means to him....but he did a lot of "tests" to try to get me to "open up":S....I just don't get these ppl...he's the only cancerian I know of this close....most of my friends are earth signs or librans (surprisingly)!

when he says that "you don`t open up enough", the meaning is that you are not telling him what he wants to hear, or maybe you are not confirming one of his suspicions.....
by not givig you his gmail, he is in control, by tha fact that you cannot work him out he is in control, he is a very deep person that can read you very easily, he likes this situation because you are not a threat to him at this stage

sarasa, you don't need to "get"("I just don't get these ppl") a cancer guy, you need to accept him, he will try and push you to the limit, make some boundaries and whenever he tries to go across them slam the door in his face, he will appreciate you very much for that.
he made you open up(he is in control again), he can feel your emotions and he will try anything to make sure that you're not going to disapoint him, you really need to be more laid back, give him loads of space and he will come around to chase you, let him chase you, they love that, don't be abrupt and very open, too much for a cancer to take, they are afraid of things like that

"slam the door in his face"....hehe...I like that....although I can't always get myself to do that😢...I can be laid bck, IF I didn't get emotions involved in all the mess....I did and thereofre, I suffer the consequences! It was all my doing!

And yeh, he's in control right now, a LOT of it! And I think, it's time to "slam the door in his face"....Him keeping secrets has come up in conversations before, but I just didn't give it that much importance....I guess I thought given more itme, he'll come around...he never did...and if he doesn't anymore, well, he can be that way....I won't care...and I think he knows that....I made it quite clear to him last time that he was being an ass and basically my tone sounded like I was frustrated and I had had enough! lol....I can be pushed more, but ofcourse, I can't let him take advantage of that...so let's see what happens...if the two years really meant something for him, he'll come around otherwise like a friend of mine says, "ppl are meant to come and go in your lives...some stay and some leave and that's the way it works"...

Just so you know, when I did tell him about my feelings (back then when I felt like it was more than just friendship) and he didn't reciprocate (which he was sad by and that confuses me too), he said he really wished that things wouldn't be estranged b/w us and that we would be even better friends now than before....did he really mean that?:S I think he did...but then again, if we are better friends now, why the hell is he keeping secrets?? I guess he's really insecure!

'' why the hell is he keeping secrets?? I guess he's really insecure!''

Typical of someone stating that the man is 'insecure' just because he is keeping secrets. I don't think he fully TRUSTS you and that is why he is keeping secrets.

He is keeping himself well guarded. Well done him.

sarasa, i am not sure that i understand you really, why are you being pushy, why do you have to force your way into this matter, he is not comfortable with that so he needs to reestablish the same grounds that he was safe with before, i really don't think you are in the position of claiming anything from him, if he lets his secrets out then he will feel really vulnerable and not like that........

you should be very warm, nice and make him trust you little by little.........

"I don't think he fully TRUSTS you and that is why he is keeping secrets."

"he is not comfortable with that so he needs to reestablish the same grounds that he was safe with before"

I already got the feeling that he doesn't trust me enough when I last talked to him....even though he denied it. But after 2 years and having shared a lot of stuff (close to each of us), if he can't give out his gmail (and similar trivial stuff), I don't know what to say...It hurts, but atleast I know where I stand when he says I'm one of his "close" friends....

"make some boundaries and when eve he tries to get across them slam the door in his face, he will appreciate you very much for that"

I can tell you from MANY conversations on the topics of "hiding" "pulling away" and "keeping secrets" with the many cancer men in my life [friends, family, coworkers] that a cancer will NOT appreciate you for slamming the door in his face. He [meaning cancer man in general] wants to get close to YOU before he will allow you to get close to HIM. This is where his trust issues come in. He wants to know everything about you before he gives you any part of himself, that is how he protects himself. Letting him "in" is not a gaurantee that he will let YOU "in" but it is the only way to get there, if you can. That is how he will determine if you are worthy of his trust, by picking you and everything you say and do, and your entire life apart, and looking in every corner and closet for skeletons before he trusts you with his secrets. And to him EVERYTHING is a secret.

LOL, talk about Paranoia!