Having fun with a cancer man

Here's a good one; I told my cancer guy how much I care about him and he told me he wasn't responsible for my feelings and that I was free to date other people......well that's exactly what I did. A few weeks went by and he called....I let it go into voice mail....he didn't leave a message not surprised. I sent him a text saying I was sorry I missed his call and left it like that, his response was "that's to bad" A few days after that he sent a txt saying "Hey" I responded with "Hey" immediately he called "hey you..what's going on tonite?" My response " going to the movies" he seemed so surprised and immediately responded with "bye". So a few days later I text him and said " I missed you" his response "Why". I told him his calls got me thinking about him. so that didn't go off so well. Since he's not responsible for my feelings I'm not giving him much attention nor am I initiating contact regularly.
When I do contact him his response is so fast I wonder if he's even reading my messages. I said all this to say if I hadn't read all these juicy post regarding the cancer man I wouldn't have known how to handle this guy. I do like him a lot...but I have learned patience and tolerance from this board and I think all you guys for your insight and comments regarding cancer men.

Thanks!

uck, cancers can be... frustrating. Just keep letting him summon u, honestly i dont understand why he hangs up or talks quick, thats no very cancer like. might wanna check that. therewise do ur own thing, act real casual and calm about everything, dont rush just be as sweet as chocolate!

"Sweet as chocolate"......and I'm so that.

So what you're saying is when he comes waltzing back in when he feels like it you should stand with open arms and a big smile saying "welcome back." Or does this act have too much action, thus making him run the other way.

Cancer men like women who take control. You have to take the upper hand and have some pride in yourself.

You may appear too needy by chasing him. Im certain that if you limit the contact as minimal as possible, he will then start contacting you. Show him that you have a life of your own and he isnt the centre of it!

Oh trust me i have moved on but will take his calls from time to time if I feel like it.
He's into me I know....he's been into me for over 10 years. I just decided to give him some play about 3 years ago but it took about 6 months before I went out with him and almost another 4 months before we became intimate.

i have never chased him in these three years....after he told me he couldn't be responsible for my feelings just recently I said fine and won't bother him...his response "I don't want you to feel that way...I'm just trying to get my sh*t together, if I didn't care I wouldn't have told you my reason for focusing on other things in my life" He fell into bad times and almost lost his house so he's trying to pick up the pieces I can understand that.

I also understand i must be treated a certain way or it won't work for me and he knows that. I have had much drama with this man over the pass 3 years we have practically lived together for months at a time...he's a politician so he's always busy and he talks to me about why things have to be a certain way for a while. When he has down time...as he calls it its always spent with me. And when this happens he is so clingy...he's under me 24/7 a complete turnaround. I have to sometimes run from him.

I'm a big girl and always have something to fall back on....after two marriages I'm not in any rush. He called me last night....but I let it go into voice mail since I had company :-).


I will have my say regarding his statement "I can't be responsible for your feelings" in my own time I'm just waiting for a good opportunity....which he will initiate and I will be very sweet and get my point across and still won't let him back in. It will take some work on his part if he wants to get back in.

I have a shell too that I can go into the difference is I have a few special friends in my shell.

"When he has down time...as he calls it its always spent with me." That's how it was with my Cancer ex, too.

Wow, I never experience this side of a Cancer, the 'I can't be responsible for your feelings'— That sound like an Aries... Well, it seems like you know exactly what to do when he comes around again...and he will come around again.

Scrp1106 why did you and your cancer guy break up? If you don't mind me asking.

Well, to be honest I'll have to put it on me, I wasn't ready or I appeared not ready for what he wanted...and at the time I didn't know the ins and outs of the Cancer male pysche...so I just really thought we'd always have time. I moved away and he met someone else and married.

I was so bitter and was holding on to someone that I should've let go of ...then I would've had what I was looking for...but I'm not upset about it...I mean if I had it to do over again I'd definitely do it differently but I know that we're still friends and a piece of me is still in his heart...

''when he said "im not responsible for your feelings" he could of wanted an emotional reaction from you (cancers love to test your feelings) but you prob know this already''


I agree. Cancer men like to TEST the waters. Reassurance is what they need before making the next tactical move.

Does he have another love in his life? Just wondering...

Youre familiar to him and Cancer likes familiarity rather than new pastures.

SS --I really never asked... you never really know what's going on with anyone when you're not with them but he tells me no..I shouldn't worry about anyone else.

What I have noticed about Cancer men is that they love to play. Play mind games - not necessarily bad ones - they just like playing with peoples heads. Its in their nature.

The Cancer man in my life does that all the time. I confronted him about it and he said he couldnt help it. ''Just the way Im made'' he said.

You cant CHANGE this man and dont try to either. These men are very skittish so you'll have to accept this.

Your Cancer man said ''I cant be rsponsible for your feelings''...

He said CANT not wont.. CANT. WHy not? This is what you have to find out. If you were a Scorpion - you would be probing and analysing what exactly he meant by this.

Why CANT he be responsible? Its almost as if something/someone is stopping him...but WHAT? Or WHO?

Vanessa - you lack depth (ie, youre shallow) so you wouldnt understand.

To Truly UNDERSTAND Cancer men, you need to find the meaning behind their indirect ways.

You wouldnt understand that though.

SS -- He said he can't be responsible because he had a lot of stuff on his plate...trying to get his finances in order; which means he's on a hustle and he said that I would distract him if he's around me. But you are correct I tend to be shallow but I'm seeing that I need to ask "why" more often. We have always been attracted to each other from the time we first meant...just that our lives moved in different directions. Its funny we both live and work in the same city but never ran into each other except that time 3 years ago and we've been in each other's lives ever since.
He was extremely aggressive in winning me over...but I played hard to get for a while almost a year.

I remember once after we hooked up he told me that he was attracted to me the first time he saw me but at the time his wedding invitations were out. I was a private contractor at the time and I was awarded a contact at the firm he was a partner at. I do like him a lot.

''...I on the other hand I am in a relationship with a cancer man and I'm enjoying it ''

YOU'RE enjoying it. But the real question is.. is HE enjoying it?

He is most likely using you for sex and a safety blanket and I almost guarantee he has an emotional commitment with another woman besides you (and his mother or siblings..etc).

''He said he can't be responsible because he had a lot of stuff on his plate...trying to get his finances in order; which means he's on a hustle and he said that I would distract him if he's around me. ''

Okay so he has a lot going on in his life right now. Cancers NEED security and that includes financial security, so it makes sense as thats his priority right now.

Just let him know youre there for him as support and once all this stress is over for him...he will remember your support and come looking for you.

i thought everyone is entitled to their own opinion
some of u may kno wut ur talking bout, some of u may not.. and most likely none of u do, becuase just becuase you are dating a cancer miss leokitten, doesnt mean u kno them all.... jus like scorpio sting doesnt kno them all, but what she is saying is probably correct with the ones she has dealt with.
I think eveyone keeps forgetting that everyone is different, and their signs dont even come close to describing the ways people act. we cant be generalizing everyone.
So i dont think anyone has the right to be attacking others here, if we are all speaking from our own experiences.

lmao...me too lucky. Its really not that serious...now you ladies apologize and play nice.

After dealing with one Cancer guys are skittish and they are indirect and if you dont get their indirect comments their feelings are hurt and they do like to see emotional responses. It might be the younger crabs that operate like this, because my crab, for all of his 27 years acts like that. Im not saying its wonderful to deal with, but he is how he is.

Im not saying ScorpSting is completely right, but some of the traits are correct. You do have to know the balance between pushing a cancer man and leaving him alone. There is a fine line. You must be able to read where he is being nonchalant to save face and when he honestly needs to get away and think things through before he responds. The distance you create is most likely the reason he is still around, because I'm learning that if you get too close or stay to close to these guys they run until they're comfortable, but if you stay just far enough for him to have to move towards you a bit to see that you're still there he'll appreciate it more.

Every woman on this site has something to offer, and SS is no different at least she's willing to put some serious thought into her posts....you little girls need to grow up and stop the bullshit...Its takes away the integrity of the site....

Thanks to all the mature women who post on this board...I have appreciated all of your input and look forward to much more in the future...

Whew! Leokitten you are rough! LOL! I have stated before that you really do tell the truth. If a man is giving YOU a committed relationship upfront, move on to the one who will give you what you want and deserve. Not trying to offend anyone.

"Now I understand you wanna be on her side because she tells you stuff you wanna hear, and it's understandable we've all done that at some point."

See how high schoolish you are... just drop it. My statement was just that a statement....just because I like her delivery...puts me on her side....

Come on sweetie.....I don't need this board to get or keep a man so if you need to comment let me know and you can call me. I'm not the one okay!

Vanessa: ''I don't need this board to get or keep a man ...

we all know that you need more than a board seeing as how he doesn't give a shit about you...but oh well you get what you deserve''


Libradiva came here for advice. Vanessa - there is no need for you to attempt to bully and abuse her. Now everyone has seen your true colours.

If libradiva is wise (which I believe she is) - then she will listen to her own wisdom and instinct about the Cancer man in her life. Support your Cancer man libra. He WILL remember it when his current 'mess' is over.

See how my silly comment got you little girls all in an uproar.....its exactly want I wanted to prove.... Guess what my cancer got me over the weekend? A new Washer and Dryer..hell he doesn't have to give a butter about me just keep surprising me with things I need. Oh..and I didn't even give up any bootie for them either. (This cancer man who doesn't give a butter about me remembered telling me back in July he didn't like me walking to the laundry mat...WOW!)

Hey Leokitten and Vanessa should I get my door key back that he's had for over a year? I really need some good advice since you girls are kickin' it with cancer men :-)

Did I mention....I have a Taurus too, wonder who I'll spend Valentine's with?
Mmmmmm so much pressure.....

Did I mention....I have a Taurus too, wonder who I'll spend Valentine's with?
Mmmmmm so much pressure.....

Yeap, good for YOU libradiva, if you are NOT married to a man, always keep a extra focus in your life. Men respect you more if they KNOW you don't focus your love life and revolve it around only them. I don't know, truthfully with my experience as much as a Cancer man wanted ME, It was my choice to pass not his choice.

Yes....we do need choices!

Yes....we do need choices!

Yeap, we do because I don't consider myself NO man's open available option. Esp. if I am not his ONLY option. I don't know, I like to pick and chose and I don't like sitting around waiting for someone who has mood problems to pick and chose me. I won't even CALL a man who is not committed too me. I am not a option.

Leokitten and vanessa are prime examples of those insecure, needy women you see on TV chat shows.

Their disillusional lives with their partners....when all the while it turns out they were being used as a homebody and their man was spending time with someone else. They end up as just that - a safety net.

And who gets the last laugh? The mistresses of course 😉

Leokitten and vanessa are prime examples of those insecure, needy women you see on TV chat shows.

Their disillusional lives with their partners....when all the while it turns out they were being used as a homebody and their man was spending time with someone else. They end up as just that - a safety net.

And who gets the last laugh? The mistresses of course 😉 LMFOA! You are sick! I love you!

I was a mistress....and became his wife for 10 years and he still wants to spend time with me. Anyone need to wash clothes....I'm having a washing party... HaHaHa

Where are my young girls.............MEOW --

Yeah, I WILL have to agree. NEVER play WIFE to a man you are not married too. Wrong decision ALWAYS. I don't play house, I quit that mess!

this is a little off topic but i thought i'd chip in here...

i see a lot of people on this board express so much frustration with Cancer-born men and they have every right to. we're very moody, childish at times, we're clingly, we like to whine at the smallest frustrations, and we're so indirect and mysterious sometimes that it drives people crazy...

but i assure you that if you find a mature, emotionally stable, Cancer man (though rare, they have been known to appear), you will not be disappointed! a Cancer man has the most potential out of all the signs, in my opinion. but the keyword here is "potential".

Cancers have the potential to accomplish so much in life. I've seen and experienced first hand the entire range of emotions and situations in life. A Cancer can be as inspiring and courageous as a Leo (without the arrogance), they can be just as kind and understanding of other people's problems as a Pisces (without getting depressed in the process), they can endure and sacrifice SO much for their loved ones...even more than a Capricorn, they can be just as humorous and clownly like a Sagittarius (but not act like total idiots. haha jk), and they can be as protective of their loved ones as a Taurus, they are capable of just so much in life but their out-of-whack emotions are just overwhelming much of the time. It gets in the way of them seeing the bigger picture in life...and it's just a shame.

Cancers are such misunderstood creatures with so much potential. The problem is, many Cancers never reach their potential because they're stuck in the mud, trying to understand why they feel how they feel and always focusing on why life has been so unfair to them. We go through life asking ourselves "why don't they understand us? why can't they feel how much i'm suffering?" but in reality, nobody's trying to hurt us or anything. most of it is self-inflicted doubts and insecurities.

in any case, i just thought i'd speak out for us Cancerians for once because most of what I see on most threads are how bad Cancers are and how difficult it is to understand them. it's true, they are hard to understand, but once you've figured one out, they can make you feel like the most loved and special person in the whole world.

"and libra diva...i guess i could aim to be a woman who just slept around with different guys and hoped for gifts from all of them..."

"Is that the going rate for a whore nowadays? Wow, inflation is a MFer."

Little girl...don't you know women use their pussy's for many things if we didn't have them you think your Cancer or any other man would be hanging around us. Women know what works... Let's get some input from the fellas.

What do you prefer:

a women with a Pussy or without?

Whore in bed or Ms Perfect...saying "oh, that's dirty"

ellidyr,

Well said....my sister July 15th, she's a wonderful person I tell her all the time you're so uptight...relax. For me the negative attitude stems from the work one has to put in to understand them.

well ss is not even a mistress. so it is rather funny. what exactly are you looking for ss? to be a mistress? you don't want to be the person a man settles down with? you just want to be the woman on the side? the one he does not respect?


Leokitten, if a man has a girl on the side, He doesnt respect EITHER!!!!! that means the mistress, and his own gf who he's been cheating on!

Leokitten, if a man has a girl on the side, He doesnt respect EITHER!!!!! that means the mistress, and his own gf who he's been cheating on!

You have it all wrong....I guess it comes from watching 2 many soap operas.

Women who carry themselves well can have both good sex and respect from a MAN...see men think differently than boys. See its all about who controls the kitty...you or him.

Respect has nothing to do with why people leave someone for another....no relationship will end abruptly unless other factors are involved.

Explain why my ex-husband married me and still wants to be around me? I was a mistress...the girl on the side. He didn't leave his wife until he new she was ok finaci

hmmm.. interesting libradiva... good to know

I disagree with your statements about a cheating man (or woman for that matter) not respecting either the other woman or his partner. Not that I personally subscribe to open relationships, but not ALL people in this world believe in/practise monogamy. Some people are capable of loving/sexing more than one person and also respecting all involved. Ideally, these sort of relationships are consentual on all sides but not always. Maybe due to lack of communication, shame or whatever else. I can't even begin to speculate. I do believe it is possible to love more than one person and deeply too. Lets try not to judge others too harshly here.....

Ahmewezd...thanks, sometimes one has to understand the circumstances. I don't go around plotting on breaking up households...sometimes they're already broken.

I do have morals that I live by...things happen between adults and if people live long enough things will happen to them that they once thought they'd never be involved with.

What happens when people grow up...they get involved in adults situations. Some women are lucky..they find a man and live happily ever after. If you can do that hey, I'm very happy for you.

That's why I can't be upset at MsPisces for calling me a whore or leokitten telling me I don't value myself...they are both young and naive....life circumstances will force them to change their opinions if they choose to grow.