WHY CANCERS CHEAT

is it true that cancers only cheat if they r emotionally attatched on some level?

i look at it as that and possibly as a form of manipulation in an attempt to control their partner in a passive-aggressive sort of way

or just an ego boost

i kno this may be a dumb quetsion, but what excatly does passive agressive mean?

passive aggressive means that you don't come right out and react directly to something that p1sses you off but rather that you go about it in an indirect sort of way by either showing your dissent by annoying the other person in some way or. But I don't see how cheating on your partner can be regarded as passive agressive unless it's just that instead of asking for what he wants he goes and gets it off some one else but that's kinda stretching the whole meaning and ocntect of passive agression.

thankyou mellowdee, ur answers are very educational hehe

Passive Aggressive - the condition where a person conceals high levels of expressive energy. This results in abuse that is carefully calculated to be borderline tolerable and non-confrontational.

It is the result of an unresolved perception of injustice or unfairness, and a fear of being alienated by revealing their point-of-view, whether by the subject or by peers. Being passive-aggressive is like having a vial of nitroglycerine and being very careful not to use it, but occassionally flashing it at the desired recipient subconsciously.

Also, they never seek resolution, as this would end the "enjoyment" of the self-percieved domination.

Run like hell from the Cancer man!!!

"Being passive-aggressive is like having a vial of nitroglycerine and being very careful not to use it, but occassionally flashing it at the desired recipient subconsciously. "

That analogy made me laugh for some deranged reason. Does deranged make a good bed partner for passive-aggressive do you think? Like do they go hand in hand? The passive agression bringing forth a torent of rage and rants and foaming at the mouth from the deranged making the passive agressive think he's in control and has the power to bring foam to the mouth of his beloved, while the deranged person is accepted even though they could well be borderline psychotic.

lol wow, another great definition by dieselcancer lol
so now that i have the definition to passive aggresive, lol
back to the quetsion: is it true that cancers only cheat if they r emotionally attatched on some level?

Not all Cancers cheat. My Cancerian father has been married to my mother (Taurus) for 48 years, and never cheated. Always with us, with family, even though they often fought like cat and dog, they cannot be without one another.
Like any man, some cheat, some don't.

"But I don't see how cheating on your partner can be regarded as passive agressive unless it's just that instead of asking for what he wants he goes and gets it off some one else but that's kinda stretching the whole meaning and ocntect of passive agression."

i don't think so, i think cheating is a huge sign of passive aggression. you don't address the issues that piss you off in a relationship, so you act out in a cheating manner. for cancers, i can see cheating in the sense of trying to teach your lover a lesson, or cheating in order to assert power over your relationship.

i don't think so, i think cheating is a huge sign of passive aggression. you don't address the issues that piss you off in a relationship, so you act out in a cheating manner. for cancers, i can see cheating in the sense of trying to teach your lover a lesson, or cheating in order to assert power over your relationship.

That's a cruel lesson. Doesn't make sense to me.

I think cancers cheat because they aren't getting the attention they crave from the person they love. I would NEVER cheat, but I can tell you that when my relationship with my ex started to deteriorate and he wasn't showing me the attention/affection I craved, I flirted insanely with other guys just to feel wanted and needed. Maybe it's different for cancer men? I guess it could be considered passive aggressive.

actually, now this passive aggressive thing is starting to make sense to me

Makes sense to me too actually. I would think it blows up in your face... unless you can keep it somewhat sealed... it's creating an atmosphere of uncertainty, a form of revenge and an ego boost. It's passive aggressive when the person is angry for not getting the attention they seek, cheating would be a satisfying way of getting back at the person while getting that attention and not having to whine and boohoo... whaaaaa whaa me wants attention... lol

In this case, I would think that if you thought your crabby was cheating the best thing to do would be to act as if you had no clue or act completely unaffected... I bet it would drive him nuts! muahhahahahha ............ *sigh* boooo, and then move on 😢

It's probably not exclusive to cancers though. The passive-aggressive aspect.

Oh man oh man! What would I do if I caught the bastard cheating?! grrrrrrrrrr


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lol

why do cancer men have an uncanny nitch or worry to start a family ASAP because they think their time is running out? is this true for cancer men?

i think cheating is hugely a personal thing, unrelated to zodiac, but the sign you're in can maybe influence your thoughts on it. not sure. cancers, when they get their needs met, can be the most loyal of the signs. they bond hard and need lot's of together time and attention. my guys is always telling me how he doesn't need alone time away from me. the truth is, i'm really saying i need it from him. sigh. anyway, i think they aren't big on cheating when happily committed. my guy, who i knew for years before we got together is a one woman man. not into having a harem. he loves completely when he's in love. very attached. it's the keeping them happy that's the hard thing.

i also herad that if cancers feel they havent chosen the right mate they will continue searching for the right one by going behind their partners back, or making themselves VERY VERY IRRITATIING to dirve the person away.

I'm with moonmaiden. Cancers cheat when they (subjectively) feel that their significant other isn't "handling business" as they should...

Also I can't speak for anyone else but when I'm being passive aggressive I've more than likely already confronted the issue head on but did not get cooperation in making any changes....so I'll change my behavior accordingly. Cancers tend to be action oriented people and become frustrated with people with whom talking to seems to not have any effect (imperviousness). Its the good old "I can show you better than I can tell you"....and I find that it tends to be MUCH more effective at getting the point across (although it should never be an MO....a passive aggressive MO is the worst).

Case in point....in the past I've tried to be pretty lenient on my employees (my employees work for a labor union). As long as they give me what I want (coming to work on time and doing their jobs without causing me too many problems or headaches) I have pretty much looked the other way when they committed minor infractions from time to time. Typical laid back, personable cancer boss. However, due to the entitlement mentality that seems to be inherent in many people, my niceness has not bee appreciated and in fact abused despite countless meetings where I have warned that things will be different if they don't get with the program.

So for the new year I decided to come back with a new attitude (chesire cat grin). I've gone completely by the book and so far 3 people have been suspended without pay. Of course they don't like this and feel completely violated but I don't give a damn and could care less because I've talked until I was blue in the face as nice as I possibly could have time and time again but still no change. Like my mother says, "If you can be told, then you'll be showed" (improper tense I know but this is an old, southern, slang saying that really rings nicely....tense changed purposely to facilitate rhyme....lol)

CancerLA, you can add number five to your list as to why love is so hard?

5) No communication between those involved. People don't communicate and the relationship ultimately deteriorates.

Personally, if someone isn't "handling business," then you have to tell them. It's not so hard. There is absolutely no reason to cheat in a relationship. If your not getting enough, then tell the person. If your not feeling emotionally secure, then tell the person. This gives Cancers a bad rap!

aaahhhhh, if it were only that easy!

Thing is my beloved cancer brother, when sex is an issue usually its because

1) The libidos are different

2) There are problems elsewhere in the relationship

Talking about it may not completely solve either of these. The first is biological. If someone isn't feeling it they just aren't. The second is workable but tricky. Certain signs (Scorps, cancers, aries, taurus, maybe a couple others) are so lustful that we can be completley mad at you and still capable and screwing your braings out if when we're horny (actually its a great way to start resolution talks!). Other signs----and sometimes just personality---freeze up in the bedroom after ever minor difference in a relationship. The real issues here is lack of compatibility, #1 on my list....people don't date long enough to find these things out...then we end up in a relationship with someone who in reality does things (or doesn't do things lol) that we cannot live with. And we want out.....thing is, few people have the guts to just say "I want out"....or they don't really want out because there are benefits to the relationship (good conversation, cohabitation/saving money, shared assets, a deep bond)---they just want what they aren't gettting...so they cheat to get it.

bravo cancerLA...... that last post was well said.
after being with sumone for so long, ur afraid to be without them, becuase u do love them at this point.
i dont kno, i always hate it when ppl say, "if u cheat on the person ur with , then you really do not love them." i think its human instinct, some ppl have more control than others, but u cant deny sumones love for another. ( jus my opinion)
there is no such thing as right ro wrong, just popular opinion.

oh boy. tough topic, cheating. i got a kick out of the aries listed as being able to have sex even while mad about fighting!! oh yeah. i can. course, i can pretty much be up for sex, well, always. my husband tho, the cancer, well let's just say we don't have makeup sex. we have to be fully resolved before he'll go there. he just gets so wounded by little things. well, to me they're little. a comment will have him pouting for an hour. it's so odd. and he'll deny he's even upset, while being soooo obviously upset. i think cancer is most likely to go behind the back if they're unsatisfied. the cancers i've known who did that had tried to make the relationship work first. tried hard and long. then there's just a point where they give up. they just need so much tho it seems. but i believe they are most likely to try to fix it, to not give up easily. more tenacious. cancers i've known are very dedicated and loyal.
and cancerla- oh my gosh. you sound like my guy at work!! he's very laid back. very benefit of the doubt. cancers make good bosses i think.

do NOT push the point when our emotions are involved, i hate that so damn much. my roommate's an aries and if something's bothering me he'll mention it... i'm like, dude shut the fck up, i don't want to talk about it. we dont' like admitting things are bothering us unless we bring it up first. we know it goes away after a little while and we'll be fine. we dont' LIKE having these things piss us off, so we try to get rid of it ASAP, but by talking about it just kind of makes things worse. i cant' stand people that won't drop a subject--especially after it's pretty clear i don't want to address it. keep pushing and eventually it all builds up and we'll blow up on you.

ok, so it's not like a "let's get this in the open so we can stop it from happening again thing?" see, when i get mad, i tell him why, how it feels and what i'd like to do about it. he can be just all torqued up, and i'll have NO clue which comment i made did it, and he'll swear he's not bothered while jutting that chin in the air and having wounded eyes. just leaves me totally stunned. so you don't wanna fix it, just get past it. ok. whatever.

i think i'm miscommunicating.

it's cuz i know the little things shouldn't be stressed over but i stress anyway and that pisses me off. i'll eventually get over it because it's a little thing. if it's a big thing i'll talk about it, but i'll bring it up on my own terms, otherwise i may end up saying some really awful things if someone prods me. we're very defensive people and don't like to admit weaknesses, (or this is for me anyway) and if something's bothering me that shouldn't, then just leave it alone and i'll get over it. if it's something i feel needs to be addressed, then i'll address it.

but if it's something little you've done pissed him off, and he realizes that it's little and he's pissed off for no good reason, he'll probably try to downplay it like you're saying (denying that anything is bothering him). but continual prodding will just aggravate us. it's the old cliche--it's not you, it's me.

ah got it. yeah, you're right. defensive. that rings kinda true. um, and sometimes a bit negative or critical. he makes harsh statements about all kinds of things, routinely. i just look at him and say: "dang baby, that's a little harsh...." he'll go "what?" he's definitly much less "go with the flow" than me in general. he's got some pretty set opinions about alot of things, while i'm loosey goosey about stuff.
it's like, he's got some fairly well defined parameters, but tries to hide that and act alot more casual than he really is. in fact, he's pretty self protective in general. i've gotten in waaay further than anyone else. works good that i've got thicker skin than him, cause he tends to boss me around and sometimes says critical things. i call him my border collie. i kind of just shrug and say "ok" most of the time. the other nite tho, whew. i must have said something, he would never tell me what, that got to him. cause he got this attitude all while saying he was fine. it got on my nerves this time tho and i got a little snotty. he snapped out: "what's your problem." ohhhh. uh uh. so, i just ignored him. mad as he was, he STILL came in and got on the bed and read beside me. kooky. then he slowly came out of it. i'm having to learn a hard lesson in cooling down and dealing with this, as it's not my modus operandi.

btw- fiddle
you're really a great source of info. thanks for the guidance oh sage cancer person!!!

I strongly object to all this reasoning about cheating. In my opinion when a perosn starts cheating it is the end of a relationship. Better to let go and move on.

I further object to these "excuses" stated above restricted to cancerians. My observation has taught me differently. I would take a look at this cancer issue quite differently.

I owuld ask that when other signs too act in similar manner then why just cancers have to be typified?

Now thats me on a pure cancerian quest😉

" i think cancer is most likely to go behind the back if they're unsatisfied. the cancers i've known who did that had tried to make the relationship work first. tried hard and long. then there's just a point where they give up. they just need so much tho it seems. but i believe they are most likely to try to fix it, to not give up easily. more tenacious. cancers i've known are very dedicated and loyal. "

GOSPEL. you said it redheadgurl!

"i cant' stand people that won't drop a subject--especially after it's pretty clear i don't want to address it. keep pushing and eventually it all builds up and we'll blow up on you."

fiddlesticks here, you hit a KEY point about cancers!!!!

(ALL PEOPLE WHO DEAL WITH CANCERS GET YOUR PEN AND NOTEBOOK OUT FIDDLESTICKS HAS JUST STRICKEN GOLD FOR YOU!!)

Even though cancers are notorious for brooding for months or years about deep hurts, people forget that from day to day we are very laid back and not high strung. 95% of things that upset us we can truly just FORGET about without any apology, any discussion, etc...we just need a moment to process it and come to the conclusion that its not worth a battle......during this time if you try to force us to talk about it that only MAKES it an issue when we are actually working on it not being an issue at all....this frustrates the begesus out of us and tends to cause a new level of tension in and of itself.

women are most guilty of the above.....men in general get over things better with just a little quiet time so male non-cancers are less likely to have a problem with us in this area.

"so, i just ignored him. mad as he was, he STILL came in and got on the bed and read beside me. kooky. then he slowly came out of it."

AHA redheadgurl take note of that. In relationships, it is IMPERATIVE that we get off the trip of doing things necessarily how we FEEL they should be done and focus more on what is EFFECTIVE for getting the desired RESULT out of that person. If your crabby is pouty...IGNORE him...he doesn't want sympathy or to be prodded anyway...go do something else and he'll come looking for you all warm and cuddly like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED in no time. Its so much easier....and it'll get you what you want.