Will killing a Cancer man with kindness help....

him back to me?

He broke up with me over a misunderstanding, but before it was resolved (as my pride is high) I lied saying I wanted to breakup anyway and you are right. when it was resolved he proceeded to say well, this was definently for the best. so he doesn't want me anymore. but it sucks because before the misunderstanding we were just fine.

People say never chase a cancer man and to just wait..but why should ANYONE wait around? Where's the self respect?

I figured instead of acting bitter and heartbroken I should act happy and nonchalant about the breakup. Which I have been. But the happier I get the more he tries to push me away. I ask what's wrong and he insists nothing is wrong and it's starting to annoy him. He said just because I don't talk to you all the time anymore doesn't mean anything. But I said but I never said anything about that? I can tell by your tone. He says what....... (Idk what the excessive dots was for. He never did that before.)

Last thing I sent him was let me know when you want to talk (; YES I PUT A WINKY FACE! I thought it showed confidence and indifference to the breakup. He didn't reply

2 days later he messaged me complaining about how my other ex won't leave him alone so he's going to block him AND me (I didn't do anything??) so with a backup Facebook that I have him added on I sent a message saying "are you okay?"

I'm just trying to kill him with kindness. No bitter ex girlfriend stuff. I'm trying to be nice because I know cancer men are sensitive.


P.s I should also add he REFUSES to see me in person or talk over the phone! I ask why and he says he's not in the mood. Rude?? What's going on?

Thanks in advance!!

Posted by LibraGirl13
I lied saying

Posted by LibraGirl13
I should act happy and nonchalant about the breakup.

Posted by LibraGirl13
(Idk what the excessive dots was for. He never did that before.)

Posted by LibraGirl13
(; YES I PUT A WINKY FACE! I thought it showed confidence and indifference to the breakup.

Posted by LibraGirl13
I'm just trying to kill him with kindness.

click to expand

You are 13, right?

Less dramarama, more learning.

I'm actually humiliated by your response. I'm not 13. I'm 21. I was rushing when I typed that up so I knew what to say when he replied to my "are you okay?"

the way I explained things were EXTREMELY vague and seemed child like; but I promise you I am 21 and sane. LOL

my cancer ex is pushing me away and I just don't know if it's because he has no feelings for me anymore so he's just dumping me out of his life, or he's hurt that I wanted to breakup anyway. people say to be straightforward with him if I want him back but i am SO afraid of rejection. That's why I asked to see him in person but he refused. Even on the phone he refused. I don't know why he doesn't want to see me or hear my voice. He insists that I did absolutely nothing wrong, so he isn't mad at me.

Yeah. He told me he doesn't want to hangout for a while. He won't even talk to me on the phone..part of me thinks maybe if I had the chance to see him we can get back together. But a part of me is panicking and feel like I must see him NOW before he rebounds.

When we were casually talking I say "by the way, be careful driving in the rain"

He completely ignored it and became even MORE cold.

You should wait around because your the one who fucked everything up when you said you didn't want him BEFORE you got a chance to resolve things so if you want him you wait now. You could've been in a better spot but your pride fucked that up for you. Cancers don't kiss ass they will punch ass if they have to. Then you turn around and act bitter around him trying to pretend your not bitter when your were probably see through. It's embarrassing to have someone prematurely dump you then have bitter ways about them then they bitter person try to carry on with a post breakup bitter fake friend relatuonhip. It makes the cancer annoyed with you because you look like your pride and ego start bullshit trouble then you turn around and get mad at the trouble caused then try to act like nothing is wrong. Cancer will see you as unstable and not a good choice for marriage or anything serious. You can't even beat your own ego and love yourself so how you think your going to love another especially a cancer at that? He knows better then to get tied up in your mess. Then YOUR ex is bothering him? Hell no. Don't kill him with kindness just leave the man alone so he can move on to a real woman.

I just feel like I'm digging myself in a deeper hole and he's not giving me a chance to help myself out!! Ahh. I'm actually FREAKING the heck out. It sucks.
I want to so badly tell him I miss him and want to try again but if he's rejecting even seeing me or talking to me on the phone..doesn't that mean he's not even trying to rekindle us? That's what I'm so afraid of.

You forced him to reject you by default so it's on you. Now how will you get him to believe that your serious? How can he take you serious? You come off like you want to rub it in his face and tear him apart.

He's not trying cuz THATS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! Try asking for something different and see what happens.

I sent him a few messages and he ignored them so I sent him a "final" message saying I would really like to be friends and miss our friendship. But if I never meant anything to you then fine.

^see? I messed up again. The last line is showing my defense mechanism /: but it's already sent so it's too late.

Why is he ignoring me so much?? He won't see me in person and won't talk to me on the phone. I don't understand. It sucks a lot.

P.s - I know there isn't another girl involved.

Because your unstable and your coming off bipolar and maybe dangerous if you get out of control with your new obsession. There was a chance but your too much of a mess right now. He probably feels like dealing with you will bring drama

Yeah. I actually have anxiety so I may be a bit unstable. I get panic attacks from certain social situations and my defense mechanism is to completely shut my emotions off and pretend everything is okay.

I feel like my ex is reading my messages thinking "eh. Do I want her? Hmm" and keeping me just in case he does.That's why he's not straight up about not wanting me or not. And not seeing me or talking to me on the phone may be a way for him to get over me?? I mean why else would he reject that..I even offered to go see him myself. But he refuses.

I FEEL like I know what he's feeling but he won't tell me): I feel like I hurt him too much and now he's happy at getting revenge on me by playing these mind games..he's so darn good at it, too. I hate it.

I dont get it! So she is unstable if shes trying to resolve the issue? Some people say that she needs to go for it and speak out to him BUT how many times— Dignity my dear!
Just leave him alone! He has a lot of growing up to you if he cannot communicate what he wants or if he does not have the courtesy to reply!
Irrespective of the excuses this behavious is inexcusable! Live your life! If you have to work so hard to keep a relationship it's NOT worth it! And neither is he!!!

I understand having your defenses up..its hard..im.trying to figure out my cancer, I don't wanna get hurt either. He prematurely kicked me to the curb, and I am just not talking to him at all..thinking maybe he'll txt sometime but not holding my breath at all!! I thought I was sensitive but damn these cancers...

Starry22 you are mistaken. Cancer wanted to resolve it and move on but she said she didn't want cancer and broke up with him before he could resolve anything. Then she has a ex stalking him and tries to stick around as a "friend" acting like nothing's wrong. Cancer isn't in the wrong at all she needs to fix it not him.

OP you need to stop being so defensive . It's ok if you got nervous and blurted out the wrong thing but you gotta make up for it . Don't let fear doubt and distrust fuck up a good thing. But you need to give him time at least a week. No more then a week. But leave him alone before he lashes out on you. Don't trip. If he likes you like that and knows you as good as cancers are able to know people then he'll know you didn't mean it and your confused. So the next time you step to him you need to be serious and have your mind decided and ready to give him all of you with no slip ups again

I never said my cancer ex wanted to resolve it. He freaked out over a misunderstanding and broke up with me. I tried telling him but he wouldn't listen. So evidentially I had no choice but to agree and say yeah well I wanted to breakup too. Oh well.

Things get cleared up through a mutual friend afterwards but he said well it's better this way anyway. So I don't know if it's my fault he doesn't want to be with me, or he really didn't want to be with me anyway. My gut instinct says it's my fault but that's just what my gut is saying. My other gut instinct is saying if he sees me we can fix things but he chooses not to for some reason.

UPDATE:

so he ignored my messages saying I want to be friends etc..

and finally after all that, I decided to swallow my pride and I said "sigh. Brian,I want to fix things."

And he finally reply asking "fix what"

Now what? It's been 2 hours since I've read it and not reply. I am so nervous.