Are all caps like this ?

Met a male cap in December went out twice in January & ever since then all he's done is make plans & cancel . I admit I might have come off a little too strong but stopped after I noticed. The last 3 times he asked to go out I said I was busy & maybe another time & finally last week I just said no . He confuses me because he acts disinterested sometimes & then very interested which is why I've been blowing him off . I really like him , what can I do for him to stop playing games & take me seriously ?

Be direct and tell him.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Gobby gives out some proper homerun advice and gets fuckall thanks for it.

Yep. She's playing games and wondering why the cap is playing games.

When he's cancelled he's said he got invited somewhere & he's sick when I see him post about him being out with friends & what really pissed me off was when he said nothing but you know me I have to cancel . I don't feel like I'm playing its just that he randomly calls me every few weeks or even months when I feel like I'm finally over him & these past few times I've told him no was because I'm not sure if I want to keep pursuing this guy that I feel that calls me when hes got nothing better to do .

Posted by cancer.fem
Met a male cap in December went out twice in January & ever since then all he's done is make plans & cancel . I admit I might have come off a little too strong but stopped after I noticed. The last 3 times he asked to go out I said I was busy & maybe another time & finally last week I just said no . He confuses me because he acts disinterested sometimes & then very interested which is why I've been blowing him off . I really like him , what can I do for him to stop playing games & take me seriously ?

I've dated A LOT of Cap men and never had this experience. Can you give more details please? Like, did you guys have a convo that went wrong at some point? Does he call or text you regularly? When did he ask you out these three times. If you really like him, then stop blowing him off. The only way you're going to find out if he's the man for you is to go ahead and engage with him. If he's not responding anywhere near to your satisfaction, then move on. If he does respond in a way that makes you feel valued...then Bingo! But it seems like you're purposely eluding the eventual finding out. There is NOTHING safe about taking the initial steps in love. If you don't do it...you're going to suffer, because you want to do it. If you do it and it works out, you'll suffer less. You might not suffer at all. You might engage and find out that he's not for you and be cool with it. However, you'll never know until you move into it showing your authentic self. Now, if this IS your authentic self, then I'd wonder if you're really ready for a relationship. I'm only saying it, because I've been there, done that. I wasn't ready and although I really really really craved a committed relationship...I wasn't ready to do the work/take the risk. It's ok, but just know that it's on you and not him.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Then stop pursuing him and see what he does. Or see if he's free and stick with a plan. It sounds like you're mirroring each other's actions. If that's the case, you'll be going in circles until someone pritty shiny comes along and you lose interest. One of you needs to take a stand.

At this point in time, all you can do is speculate as to the reasons for the cancellations. However, you have no excuse - you're mirroring him with your mind games.

If you have any ounce of maturity, you'd TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

How the fuck can you expect to be in a romantic relationship, when you can't even COMMUNICATE with a prospective partner.

Sheez!

click to expand

Damn dude. LMBO!!!! I mean like....damn. lol ha ha ha ha

Nothings ever gone wrong , the times we spent together were fun & the only times he contacts me is to make plans or to ask for a selfie cause he misses me , I've tried to talk & get to know him but the only time ive felt like he wants to talk is in person . We made plans in Feb & he cancelled then didn't talk to me for a few months after that he randomly makes plans & cancels every few weeks .

No just regular pics

Posted by cancer.fem
Nothings ever gone wrong , the times we spent together were fun & the only times he contacts me is to make plans or to ask for a selfie cause he misses me , I've tried to talk & get to know him but the only time ive felt like he wants to talk is in person . We made plans in Feb & he cancelled then didn't talk to me for a few months after that he randomly makes plans & cancels every few weeks .

Yes, sounds like you guys are caught up in the mirroring game playing. Someone has to break the cycle. Do you think you're capable of doing that? I'm not judging, because the mirroring game is easy to get caught up in IF you're not careful. I'm tempted to do it sometimes and I'm 41. Then I have to remind myself that if I copy someone else's actions, I'm not being my authentic self and I'm contributing to the problem instead of moving to a solution, which in dating, just might be closing the chapter and moving on.

Caps are like that, very hot and cold. He's probably quite interested in you if he shows any interest at all, but he's overthinking things which is the cap curse. He's afraid of being awkward or vulnerable, and he really needs to know you like him if you do! Caps need constant reassurance that you chose them for a reason.

Be honest and tell him when he make plans with you, at least carry them out unless it emergency. If he change the plans again no be aggressive with him.