Ask a Cap Anything!

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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by ClairDeLune

Does it ever get terribly lonely feeling like you have to bottle your emotions as a cap? Or do you? My closest cousin is one and it's funny how we both deal with almost the same situations in the same manner. But I notice she pushes her emotions aside just to have it coming back 100x worse later


Yes...overwhelmingly so at times. But, I still choose my solitude over having people just occupy space. It’s important for Caps to have outlets. I’m a writer, aside from running my company. So, that’s my outlet.

And yes, they do come back worse if you don’t have an outlet. It can get REALLY bad, actually.
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by LethalFantasia

What are Capricorns expectations in a relationship?


Security above all else. I don’t mean financial, although...I won’t date someone that would make me feel like I’m dating down the food chain. Many Caps feel that way. We want the best partner possible and we think of it as building an empire. A lot of people think we’re boring and dry, but privately, it’s like a sexual Jekyll and Hyde situation. Cappies need sex. A lot of it. We like darker-themed sex, too. We care about our public image and reputation, though...so it’s important we find a partner that feels the same way. Cap males like some dark, raunchy shit...but he has to feel safe and not judged for it. We expect loyalty. If we don’t get it...we may let you think you’re getting away with it, but then one day we’ll pull the rug from underneath your feet, leave, and never look back. Emotionally, give us our space. We’re not the type to be able to keep up with reassuring people of our love every five minutes. We’re also allergic drama...it repels us. Over all, we just want a best friend with whom we can laugh, build an empire, and have amazing sex for the rest of our lives.
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by Berzerker

Do you guys sometimes make friendships for the sake of 'business' only?


We don’t throw the term “friends” around loosely. Do I network? Yes. Am I rather friendly? Yes, despite being a hardcore introvert. But I don’t like ulterior motives. If I’m engaging you and I consider our relationship a friendship, I’m all in and I will help you in any way I can to help you meet your fullest potential.
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Dreamyboy

Are you ever gonna share me your Lala’s recipe for ropa vieja? 😯


Ah, my dear! I completely forgot! I went into hermit mode after the Scorp gave my heart a contusion. I’ll send it this week! 😊😊😊


I know you disappeared lol

I noticed because a couple of weeks after our talk of it, I was like “I wanna make ropa vieja” and I noticed you was out for a while 😢

I wish I could’ve made it today though lol! There is a potluck at my work place for my boss, a surprise baby shower, and the theme is Latin.
click to expand



I’m so sorry!!

I’ll send you a few recipes to make up for it! 💚
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Dreamyboy

Are you ever gonna share me your Lala’s recipe for ropa vieja? 😯


Ah, my dear! I completely forgot! I went into hermit mode after the Scorp gave my heart a contusion. I’ll send it this week! 😊😊😊


I know you disappeared lol

I noticed because a couple of weeks after our talk of it, I was like “I wanna make ropa vieja” and I noticed you was out for a while 😢

I wish I could’ve made it today though lol! There is a potluck at my work place for my boss, a surprise baby shower, and the theme is Latin.


I’m so sorry!!

I’ll send you a few recipes to make up for it! 💚


Yessss!!

Just so you know, I’m not gonna eat until you give me that recipe. My blood is in your hands
click to expand



😆 You’re so silly! All that I ask is to not share them frivolously. They’re family recipes. 😊
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Nightcap-
@Nightcap-
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2999 · Posts: 1877 · Topics: 5
Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by LethalFantasia

What are Capricorns expectations in a relationship?


Security above all else. I don’t mean financial, although...I won’t date someone that would make me feel like I’m dating down the food chain. Many Caps feel that way. We want the best partner possible and we think of it as building an empire. A lot of people think we’re boring and dry, but privately, it’s like a sexual Jekyll and Hyde situation. Cappies need sex. A lot of it. We like darker-themed sex, too. We care about our public image and reputation, though...so it’s important we find a partner that feels the same way. Cap males like some dark, raunchy shit...but he has to feel safe and not judged for it. We expect loyalty. If we don’t get it...we may let you think you’re getting away with it, but then one day we’ll pull the rug from underneath your feet, leave, and never look back. Emotionally, give us our space. We’re not the type to be able to keep up with reassuring people of our love every five minutes. We’re also allergic drama...it repels us. Over all, we just want a best friend with whom we can laugh, build an empire, and have amazing sex for the rest of our lives.
click to expand


Perfect. Actions speak louder than words. The money thing with Caps has always been the exact opposite. People that say they don't care about it have an easy time using other people for it. I work super hard, not so I can buy myself a yacht, but so I can help family, close friends, and others in need. I have everything I need. Aries brother needed help with taxes for the 10 acres he owns. Done. It was a particularly cold Winter back East so Taurus mother needed help with heating costs. Done. Virgo Dad needed his teeth fixed. Done. As far as relationships, we honor and care for the people we love. It's kind of an old fashioned notion these days and will get us used from time to time, but our long view suggests that we'll also get our share of fortunate luck as well.
Profile picture of shehasarisen
shehasarisen
@shehasarisen
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 2
We met online two years ago. I'm a Virgo, he's a Capricorn.

We dated for about two months. The entire situation was very passionate. We connected immediately over the first couple of dates. Like, it felt natural, trustful, calming, sensual and protective. Despite having never slept together, I intuitively felt his emotion for me, as it was pretty evident from the beginning.

He comes from a very well to do family, is educated, wealthy and owns his own legal cannabis business. I come from a pretty poor background having been an orphan, but make a decent living, educated, above average looking and just an overall good natured, decent woman. I value family, education and building a family legacy of my own, and I know that's something that he appreciates.

Anyway, he ended up cut things off because he felt I wasn't "all in" and was kind of "scattered", which wasn't true. It was actually him who was all over the place from running his start up business. Despite this, he severed the relationship, leaving me totally devastated until a year later I get a call from him wanting to "check in to see how I was doing". I had been seeing someone at the time, but would still pick up the phone anytime the Cappie would call, which became more frequent over a period of a few months. Whenever I called him, which was about every few days, he always made himself available to talk with me, no matter the time of day, no matter what he was doing.

So about a month later, when my boyfriend and I broke up, I texted the Cappie that night in tears and very upset. He immediately ordered an Uber for me to come to meet him at a bar where he was completely drunk upon my arrival. When in line to grab a drink, he casually mentioned that if I was going to be with him, I needed to have all my ducks in order. However, in that moment I had no interest in dating him, and I expressed that, as I was dealing with a breakup that had taken place just hours before.

A few weeks later I tried to date him, but he refused, saying he was looking for something more casual at the moment because his business eats up a lot of his time and so he's really only looking to sleep around.

Over the past few months he's been pretty inactive as far as reaching out to me, but I've gone through spurts where I try to refrain from talking with him by going long bouts of no communication (usually about a month), then after I can't stop thinking about him (because I do like him and and want to build something with him), I call him every other day for a week. He tells me and has told me before that he doesn't want to talk to me, yet he always picks up the phone and engages in these long conversation with me whenever I call or text him. His response to my communication is immediate. If I text, he will respond within minutes. Yet he'll say things like "don't call me, let's touch base in a year. I'm curious to see where your life goes."

I don't get it. I tend to have a realistic understanding of male/female interactions, but this one is throwing me for a loop.

Is he playing hard to get?

Why does he pick up the phone if he doesn't want to talk to me?

Please give whatever feedback you have.

Thanks!
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by shehasarisen

We met online two years ago. I'm a Virgo, he's a Capricorn.

We dated for about two months. The entire situation was very passionate. We connected immediately over the first couple of dates. Like, it felt natural, trustful, calming, sensual and protective. Despite having never slept together, I intuitively felt his emotion for me, as it was pretty evident from the beginning.

He comes from a very well to do family, is educated, wealthy and owns his own legal cannabis business. I come from a pretty poor background having been an orphan, but make a decent living, educated, above average looking and just an overall good natured, decent woman. I value family, education and building a family legacy of my own, and I know that's something that he appreciates.

Anyway, he ended up cut things off because he felt I wasn't "all in" and was kind of "scattered", which wasn't true. It was actually him who was all over the place from running his start up business. Despite this, he severed the relationship, leaving me totally devastated until a year later I get a call from him wanting to "check in to see how I was doing". I had been seeing someone at the time, but would still pick up the phone anytime the Cappie would call, which became more frequent over a period of a few months. Whenever I called him, which was about every few days, he always made himself available to talk with me, no matter the time of day, no matter what he was doing.

So about a month later, when my boyfriend and I broke up, I texted the Cappie that night in tears and very upset. He immediately ordered an Uber for me to come to meet him at a bar where he was completely drunk upon my arrival. When in line to grab a drink, he casually mentioned that if I was going to be with him, I needed to have all my ducks in order. However, in that moment I had no interest in dating him, and I expressed that, as I was dealing with a breakup that had taken place just hours before.

A few weeks later I tried to date him, but he refused, saying he was looking for something more casual at the moment because his business eats up a lot of his time and so he's really only looking to sleep around.

Over the past few months he's been pretty inactive as far as reaching out to me, but I've gone through spurts where I try to refrain from talking with him by going long bouts of no communication (usually about a month), then after I can't stop thinking about him (because I do like him and and want to build something with him), I call him every other day for a week. He tells me and has told me before that he doesn't want to talk to me, yet he always picks up the phone and engages in these long conversation with me whenever I call or text him. His response to my communication is immediate. If I text, he will respond within minutes. Yet he'll say things like "don't call me, let's touch base in a year. I'm curious to see where your life goes."

I don't get it. I tend to have a realistic understanding of male/female interactions, but this one is throwing me for a loop.

Is he playing hard to get?

Why does he pick up the phone if he doesn't want to talk to me?

Please give whatever feedback you have.

Thanks!


Cap males don’t play hard to get; they “play” on their terms.

I don’t doubt this guy likes you. But “like” is lukewarm. In order for us to take you seriously, it takes more than lukewarm.

When he started laying out the ground rules of “being with him”, he was drunk...AND that indicates that he somewhat feels like he’s settling. Like, “Fine. I’ll give you the privilege of being with me, but this is how it’s going to go...”.

Now, this is where you need thick skin. And there will invariably be people who twist what I’m about to say, to make me sound like a total dick, but I said I would give you an unabashedly honest answer, so here it goes: he comes from a well-to-do family, and with that comes specific social obligations. He cares even more than regular Caps about his image. If you come from poverty, then you have to make up for it with where you’re at now in life, either through education or a profession with prestige. Or...you have to be ridiculously gorgeous. But, honestly, that may not even be enough. It hasn’t been for past Caps I’ve known.

Another thing: I can’t stress enough that we do things on our terms. Especially if we offer you our attention or love and you don’t want it? You’re on the fence? We’ll make it easy for you. Good luck with being offered it again. There are a few people in my past that rejected me in some form; all tried coming back. Guess how many were given a chance? 0. I don’t play hard to get. I play “you’re not getting shit from me, now leave me the fuck alone”.

If you really and truly want to see if you have a future with him, just be easy to talk to, don’t pressure him, exhibit that you’re working on personal development, and let him choose you. Or at least let him think he’s choosing you(his terms).
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by TxOgal

why the disappearance Cappies? hot/cold .. silent treatment.. mm whatever you call it

why do you do that? boredom? or is it that when you don't care that much?


I disappear for several reasons. But, as I’m getting older, I’m learning to communicate my feelings better. Actually, no...it’s still a work in progress. I disappeared on a few people recently.

We either have a lot of shit going on in our lives that we’re stressed about; we realized we have feelings and are trying make sense of these foreign things; we’re not interested and we’re just being cowards about telling you we don’t feel the same way. Yes, we have a reputation for being cold...but we actually don’t like hurting people’s feelings. Female Caps often learn before the males that it’s actually more hurtful to let something drag on when our hearts aren’t in it.

Silent treatment: our feelings probably got hurt. That only happens when we actually care about the person genuinely. Which doesn’t happen often.

For instance, my ex-husband called me “bossy” the other day. I laughed. We both laughed. If someone I actually liked and thought of romantically called me that, shit...I might cry. I’d go silent, then bring it up a couple of days later out of nowhere, “Hey, about 2 days and 4 hours ago, you said I was bossy. What would make you think that of me? Because I’m not bossy. I just know what I’m talking about and my track record has continuously proven that my way yields the best results.”

Hot/cold: We’re either scared or unsure.

If we’re not interested at all, trust me...we won’t even be there to begin with. Time is money.
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by nanobot

My credit score is 714

Do I do my moon proud?

How can I improve it?

Building credit seemed almost impossible in my early-mid twenties. But as I age, its climbing slowly


Dude, if I were a guy, I’d have already put a ring on it.

Your credit score just adds to your awesomeness.

Keep credit accounts open after paying them off. Request credit increases, but don’t spend more. Pay down your debt as much as possible. Easy peasy.
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shehasarisen
@shehasarisen
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 2
@reciprocity8 Thank you so much for the clear cut and quick reply! I needed someone to give it to me straight, no chaser!

What’s interesting is that night when he was drunk he told me I was a solid 8 out of 10, but that he still had doubts. I’m thinking my background is a red flag for him. However it’s not something I can change.

But you’re right, Caps are looking to date the absolute best woman they can find. And I don’t blame him, he’s a millionaire. He once told me his future wife would have a Masters from an Ivy League school, would be a partner at a law furm or something like that, and would drive a BMW. Hahaha. It’s amazing how much prestige and image matters to these guys. I’m educated, fit, youthful, I’m a Marketing Manager at my company and I started a consulting practice last year, but that isnt good enough for him.

I’m just going to back off the Cappie and work on building my business, getting into tip top shape and preparing myself for my next come up. If he comes around, great! If not, I’m sure someone else of high caliber will peak my interest.

Thanks for your feedback!
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by shehasarisen

@reciprocity8 Thank you so much for the clear cut and quick reply! I needed someone to give it to me straight, no chaser!

What’s interesting is that night when he was drunk he told me I was a solid 8 out of 10, but that he still had doubts. I’m thinking my background is a red flag for him. However it’s not something I can change.

But you’re right, Caps are looking to date the absolute best woman they can find. And I don’t blame him, he’s a millionaire. He once told me his future wife would have a Masters from an Ivy League school, would be a partner at a law furm or something like that, and would drive a BMW. Hahaha. It’s amazing how much prestige and image matters to these guys. I’m educated, fit, youthful, I’m a Marketing Manager at my company and I started a consulting practice last year, but that isnt good enough for him.

I’m just going to back off the Cappie and work on building my business, getting into tip top shape and preparing myself for my next come up. If he comes around, great! If not, I’m sure someone else of high caliber will peak my interest.

Thanks for your feedback!


I’m probably violating the Cap Code, but...from the sounds of it, you deserve better. Much better.

A Cap from my past was trying to decide between me and a physician assistant. I made the choice for him by cutting him off when I found out about her. His dumb ass still kept tried to contact me after he became engaged to her. I finally told him that if he didn’t leave me alone, I’d screenshot his messages and post them publicly on all platforms. He finally left me alone.

Not all Caps are worth the trouble. There was another one that I met at some local charity event. Trust fund man-child that came from an uber wealthy family. He had a receding hairline that was reminiscent of Predator and the cankles of a cafeteria lunch lady, but had the nerve to tell me he could never date me because I was divorced with a child. I never even expressed interest. He just drunkenly volunteered the information.

In short, your guy sounds like a douche. You DEFINITELY deserve better.

Best of luck to you, doll! Keep on being a self-made badass. The universe will bless you with someone on your level.
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CrabbyGem
@CrabbyGem
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 6
Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.
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Gemitatti
@Gemitatti
6 Years

Comments: 12 · Posts: 298 · Topics: 15
Posted by -Damous

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by -Damous

What was in those videos? LMAO

Consider your chops..



Image Not Found


Goddammit, Cap. You’re supposed to be on MY side here.

BDSM-related stuff; ass-related stuff; close-ups of nether regions stuff; and close-ups of deepthroating.

Happy? 😏


I wasn’t expecting you to answer, that’s why I put consider your chops busted. I was just busting your chops
click to expand



Have you been busting her chops?
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


Caps don’t typically do FwB. But I have to clarify that I mean actual friends, not just people we’re having sex with; we have those. You have to remember that Caps ultimately want to end up with their best friend that they happen to have sexual chemistry with.

You’ve already given him three things we look for: security, no judgement, and you’re not rushing him.

We don’t typically sleep with friends because there’s a strong possibility we’ll fall in love. My ex-husband was my best friend before we were married. We didn’t have sex until after we got married, but I fell in love with him because of the emotional security he provided.

Years after my divorce, my Cap former best friend and I both fell in love. We had sex as friends. In the office, no less(every Cap’s dream). And no matter what, we always came back to each other. We were never in a relationship officially, though. I didn’t feel it was time and I didn’t feel he was ready. He pops up out of nowhere every few months asking if we can get married and start a family. I love him as a person, but I don’t trust him or his ability to be faithful, though. Another thing, Cap males have trouble cutting ties with their exes. Hard pass.
Profile picture of Reciprocity8
Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄
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Capricorn91
@Capricorn91
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 425 · Posts: 2010 · Topics: 36
Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄
click to expand



Lol we do have commitment issues!
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!
click to expand



The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.


Doesn’t have to be younger! 😂😂 yep very good at sabotage when they love you, but perhaps it’s cuz there is an issue in the relationship? Something that makes it hard to deal with?
click to expand



It’s typically an issue within ourselves. I’ve sabotaged once...and it gave me the greatest romantic heartache of my life. By sheer coincidence(also known as karma), he was a Cap. And he never forgave me.

The sabotaging is a manifestation of our belief that we don’t deserve to be loved. That comes from childhood or past trauma typically. That rings true for both my former best friend and for myself.
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Capricorn91
@Capricorn91
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 425 · Posts: 2010 · Topics: 36
Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.
click to expand



Yup I can vouch for that. And that's why we take things slow.
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.


Doesn’t have to be younger! 😂😂 yep very good at sabotage when they love you, but perhaps it’s cuz there is an issue in the relationship? Something that makes it hard to deal with?


It’s typically an issue within ourselves. I’ve sabotaged once...and it gave me the greatest romantic heartache of my life. By sheer coincidence(also known as karma), he was a Cap. And he never forgave me.

The sabotaging is a manifestation of our belief that we don’t deserve to be loved. That comes from childhood or past trauma typically. That rings true for both my former best friend and for myself.


That makes sense. He always thought I’d leave him. So he left me twice before I could do it. But I wasn’t leaving, I was seeing it through to see where it went. The second time it was complete sabotage. And 6 months later he realized what an idiot he had been. But you just can’t go back like what you did never happened. You know? Then there is a lot of damage to fix. Are Caps really able to take the responsibility and fix it? One who has communication problems, and feelings get hurt every time you try to work through it?

Well I finally stopped having hope for that. I stopped being mad, I forgave as much as I could but not enough to allow it again. Which I think was smart actually. I finally told him I loved him but I didn’t think he wanted to talk about it anymore & hoped he found what he was looking for. I know he feels guilty and he’s hurt by what I said while trying to work through it (Sags are too blunt and he’s sensitive). Ah why do they make it so hard though? I know .. no answer for that. He admits no one has ever treated him like I did.. kind and well but yet he couldn’t accept being treated good 😢 I think it’s sad really...
click to expand



That made my heart hurt. 😔

We want so badly to be loved...honestly, we do. And we hope we find that one person that will stay in spite of all our difficulties...most of which are created by us. But...people often leave, for their own sanity and well-being. It saddens us, but we understand.

Therapy helps a lot. CBT, to be exact. We’re creatures of logic; not emotions. So, when we feel them or we’re faced with others offering them and expecting something from us in return, even if it’s just a response, it sometimes incites our fight, flight, or freeze responses.

Caps don’t like to be reminded of what they’ve done wrong. I’ve noticed that. My father was like that, as was every male Cap in my life. They just want to “move on” from it. And I think it’s because they’ve created enough of a hell from it internally, that they really don’t need to make a party of it, you know? Plus...they’re the paternal essence of the signs. Who admonishes the father?
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CrabbyGem
@CrabbyGem
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 6
Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.


Yup I can vouch for that. And that's why we take things slow.
click to expand





At one point I could say we were friends. He opened up to me alot about his child, hobbies, and family. Hes almost cried infront of me. And hes a super tough guy.

Issues with his ex/mother of child ✅.He is super honest with me about it. Tells me he feels like he cant move forward into a relationship because of it. But then randomly comments once in a while how he needs a wife at home to do the chores around the house. Recently he cooked his lunches, gave me a taste and as he argued with the dishes it slipped out that i should be washing them. He doesn't want more kids and i dont have any. I think in his mind thats an issue.

In nov we took a break, i told him i needed space after he tried to sabatoge shit and i admitted to him that i had feelings and wanted a relationship. He started lurking on social media in Jan and i gave in on march. We’re back to our “fwb” ways. I didn't think he would come back after i poured my feelings out to him. We had an argument the other day and typically i would just leave or coward down, but i put him in his place kinda and he went from angry lion to cute kitty within seconds. Dont know what to do with this cap.
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.


Yup I can vouch for that. And that's why we take things slow.




At one point I could say we were friends. He opened up to me alot about his child, hobbies, and family. Hes almost cried infront of me. And hes a super tough guy.

Issues with his ex/mother of child ✅.He is super honest with me about it. Tells me he feels like he cant move forward into a relationship because of it. But then randomly comments once in a while how he needs a wife at home to do the chores around the house. Recently he cooked his lunches, gave me a taste and as he argued with the dishes it slipped out that i should be washing them. He doesn't want more kids and i dont have any. I think in his mind thats an issue.

In nov we took a break, i told him i needed space after he tried to sabatoge shit and i admitted to him that i had feelings and wanted a relationship. He started lurking on social media in Jan and i gave in on march. We’re back to our “fwb” ways. I didn't think he would come back after i poured my feelings out to him. We had an argument the other day and typically i would just leave or coward down, but i put him in his place kinda and he went from angry lion to cute kitty within seconds. Dont know what to do with this cap.

click to expand



You exhibited strength, and Caps, both men and women, appreciate that. Call it “tough love” or whatever, the thing to take from it is: we need to know our partner can handle things should the day ever come, God forbid, we can’t steer the ship. That’s why my father chose my mother: she was very traditional, but she was the strongest person he’d ever met. She ended up raising us on her own, so that’s a testament to that fact.

Men, Cap or not, will tread carefully into the subject of having children again post-divorce. The men who had bad experiences with their children’s mothers, are less likely to be enthusiastically open to having more. Which is understandable. But, he needs to remember that you are not her...and this relationship should be looked at from the unsullied lens of something that isn’t his past relationship. This is new and separate.

If you really want to be with this man and can see yourself with him long term, show him that you are your own person(not his ex) and that you can be trusted. Men aren’t the best of verbal communicators, so actions and consistency will be more impactful. But...you need to first make sure this is actually what you want.

I’m sure that after time of proven demonstration, he may soften his heart and possibly be open to sharing the gift of having children with you. But it’s going to take a lot of work and conscious effort.
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Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years

Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
@G6

I don’t believe in the concept of losing...or mistakes, for that matter. Everything happens just as it’s meant to.

If your mind and heart are not functioning in lockstep, I recommend taking a period for introspection during these times, because it’s happening for a reason.

If something stays on your mind, defying logic especially...honor it and explore it. There’s a purpose behind it.
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CrabbyGem
@CrabbyGem
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 6
Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by CrabbyGem

Do caps do the whole fwb thing? I read a lot that this is not their style . This cap am seeing has a past and is holding back on commitment but no matter us what goes on between us (separation, disagreements) he's always coming back to me. I few months he’ll be cold a few he will open up to me then he gets real passionate at times. I think hes afraid to do any relationship type thing and when it gets real hot and heavy he sabotages it.


And they will sabotage it. That’s what my Cap former best friend did.

I told him not to overanalyze things and make shit weird when I went to visit him in LA. He did just that. Left me in his apartment one night when I was asleep to go do cocaine and sleep with someone. The next morning, while he went to grab us breakfast, I called a cab, went to the airport, and bought a new plane ticket that cost me nearly 2 grand. I didn’t speak to him for about two years. When we did finally speak, he said it just hit him that night in LA that he knew he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me...and he “panicked”. 🙄


Lol we do have commitment issues!


The males definitely more often than the females. Especially the younger males.


Yup I can vouch for that. And that's why we take things slow.




At one point I could say we were friends. He opened up to me alot about his child, hobbies, and family. Hes almost cried infront of me. And hes a super tough guy.

Issues with his ex/mother of child ✅.He is super honest with me about it. Tells me he feels like he cant move forward into a relationship because of it. But then randomly comments once in a while how he needs a wife at home to do the chores around the house. Recently he cooked his lunches, gave me a taste and as he argued with the dishes it slipped out that i should be washing them. He doesn't want more kids and i dont have any. I think in his mind thats an issue.

In nov we took a break, i told him i needed space after he tried to sabatoge shit and i admitted to him that i had feelings and wanted a relationship. He started lurking on social media in Jan and i gave in on march. We’re back to our “fwb” ways. I didn't think he would come back after i poured my feelings out to him. We had an argument the other day and typically i would just leave or coward down, but i put him in his place kinda and he went from angry lion to cute kitty within seconds. Dont know what to do with this cap.




You exhibited strength, and Caps, both men and women, appreciate that. Call it “tough love” or whatever, the thing to take from it is: we need to know our partner can handle things should the day ever come, God forbid, we can’t steer the ship. That’s why my father chose my mother: she was very traditional, but she was the strongest person he’d ever met. She ended up raising us on her own, so that’s a testament to that fact.

Men, Cap or not, will tread carefully into the subject of having children again post-divorce. The men who had bad experiences with their children’s mothers, are less likely to be enthusiastically open to having more. Which is understandable. But, he needs to remember that you are not her...and this relationship should be looked at from the unsullied lens of something that isn’t his past relationship. This is new and separate.

If you really want to be with this man and can see yourself with him long term, show him that you are your own person(not his ex) and that you can be trusted. Men aren’t the best of verbal communicators, so actions and consistency will be more impactful. But...you need to first make sure this is actually what you want.

I’m sure that after time of proven demonstration, he may soften his heart and possibly be open to sharing the gift of having children with you. But it’s going to take a lot of work and conscious effort.
click to expand



@Reciprocity8 wow i love your answer... it feels so neutral. Practical side of a cappy lol. Anyone else here whos been hurt by a cap or guy would so be biased and be like he just wants you for sex and be so cruel about their response. Am not a clinger and me who usually wants to fix ppl has not tried once to fix him. Everything is a first with this one and i know we are meant for some type of reason. Not sure which one.
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user7
@user7
6 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 13 · Topics: 7
My cap man and I have been together almost 7 months now. Currently he’s been telling me about how much he misses me and is texting me more often, cutting down on his sleep just to talk to me. I’m confused because just a week ago he was taking a long time to respond to my messages and I felt a distant vibe from him during those times.

I brought it up to him and his response was: “haha, I did miss you then too. But I kept it to myself. Now I feel like telling you because it feels like the right thing to do.”

Why are y’all so confusing? 😬

I feel like your actions sometimes contradict your words. It’s really bothersome because I get confused as to what I should believe: the actions you show me or the words you tell me. I want stability too, you know what I mean?

He has a taurus moon and sag rising btw.

I’m a cancer sun, cancer rising and virgo moon.

Any thoughts or advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
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Capricorn91
@Capricorn91
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 425 · Posts: 2010 · Topics: 36
Posted by xoxflute

Posted by Capricorn91

Posted by xoxflute

@Capricorn91 comeeee to this thread 😛

Do you dislike asking for help? Why or why not?


😄

Yes we don't like asking for help. We like to do everything ourselves. But as life has it we do have to ask for help sometimes and that kills us inside, to be reliant on someone.

Thanks for coming. 😄

Do you see the idea of you asking for help as a sign of incompetence?
click to expand



No not competence but we are just not comfortable with it. We are very solitary creatures. We don't like to trouble people and like to take care of things ourselves. I hesitate to even call my roommate for any small help in the house as well but he doesn't.
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Capricorn91
@Capricorn91
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 425 · Posts: 2010 · Topics: 36
Posted by TxOgal

How do caps deal with being at fault?

1. Apologize and try all they can to be on good terms with their partner again?

2. Apologize just to clear the air, not necessarily feeling that they did wrong?

3. Act normal, as if your partner will forget that you've done them wrong?

Or .. what? really caps are a riddle to me


All of the above. It depends on how emotionally attached they are to you. If you mean a lot to them then 1, if you are like a good friend then 2, and if it is not that deep then 3.
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