Cap hot/cold

I met this cap and have been seeing him for about 3 months. We have slept with each other it took me about 4 dates but it took me almost a month before I agreed to go on our first date. So i wouldnt say I rushed it and he said it just felt natural and its different because we talked for so long prior blah blah blah I'm not sure if he is being honest. Im a Sag but a pretty well organized, career driven and pretty successful Sag. I don't think I am a carefree as most Sags. plus my rising sun and mars are in Cap. Anyway he is very distant, i dont get him what so ever, I mean I get we are both busy but he make less effort than me, Im so used to being pursued and its vice versa here. I recently told him I liked him and didnt want to see anyone else and he said we were on the same page. I am pretty non-emotional but one us had to give in he then opened up about his ex and said he liked me and was excited to see where we go blah blah and then back into his shell he went, I'm so confused, I mean even while we sleep no hugs nada, but then he make jokes when I leave in the am without saying bye, he doesnt seem to care so I'm awkward and just leave rather get rejected. he sends me messages all day every day seeing how my day is, but we only see each other once a week, so weird yet he does other things and never invites me so i dont invite him because I dont want to come off clinggy, but when he is away with his fam he still txt me to say hi. Please help me fingure this guy out!!

I agree, there are a lot of positives....for now.

Stop making more efforts than him! This should be a two way street. He will start to reach out more if you slow down. (I do believe someone just gave me similar advice on another thread and I promise, she was right!).

And it probably bothers him that you don't even tell him bye when you leave in the morning. That shows a lack of respect for him. Even if he's asleep, a peck on the cheek and I'm leaving ought to be enough.

Also, invite him one time to do something with you and your friends. He might surprise you and go. He might not invite you because you don't invite him...? Caps can be insecure, too. He might be afraid you will say no. Just a thought. *shrugs*

Triple post. Oops!

Well, he's a Capricorn. An earth sign, and we are slow to REALLY open up. That's just usually the way it is.

To speed up the process, just be yourself! Not saying you aren't being yourself, but don't hold back just because you feel he won't appreciate it or he'll reject you. That's not the case, and if anything, the way to make him feel secure is through you being you and you being consistent. If you want to give him a kiss, or jump on him and give him a hug, or kiss him before you leave, then do it. A woman usually is the one that leads when it comes to affection, emotions etc, so don't let him leader in that area because you will both be screwed if you count on him to show more first. He's leading by initiating the contact and trying to keep the lines of communication open, you stop holding back on being affectionate.

If with a little time you feel he doesn't appreciate you and all you have to offer then you can cut the loss, but liking him and not putting energy into the relationship because of fear will be frustrating and if you end it and reflect back you'll probably realize you never gave yourself a chance in the relationship.

I Think you need to slow it down. Us Caps like to take things slow. He texts you EVERYDAY? He makes jokes about you not telling him bye? Do it. Show respect. Learn to move slow. You need to earn his trust. He will observe your behavior for weeks before he really makes a move. Everything you DO,SAY,ACT is being observed like a police detective. Don't mistaken his silence for NOT being interested. He is testing the waters. His silence is just him going over the actions he observes from you. If you can't handle this behavior. End it. We love affection. Show affection. When he feels the moment. He WILL show it back if he is into you. We are NOT mind readers. You want to cuddle? Tell him you want to. He will. We are PLEASERS. BUT. We caps need to know how to please. So tell us.

I have a question though. I probably should have held back on writing my first reply, but anyway. Why mention the ex?

I'm wondering if you should ask him is he really over her then continue on?

he mentioned his ex because I did something that he freaked about and he felt like he needed to explain why he freaked out apparently it something his ex did, and his ex lied and was very decitful, I felt really bad for him however my actions where no near that I just feel asleep and didnt explain what I meant.

he mentioned his ex because I did something that he freaked about and he felt like he needed to explain why he freaked out apparently it something his ex did, and his ex lied and was very decitful, I felt really bad for him however my actions where no near that I just feel asleep and didnt explain what I meant.

You didn't fall asleep during bow chicka wow wow did you? Ha ha sorry! 😉

oh no i mentioned something involving the word surprise then fell asleep, apparently caps dont like surprises

I Loathe and despise surprises.

Thanks for all the advice, I think he likes me, I mean he has text me all day and even said i was making an impression so I'm going to take that as a good thing lol I'm sure he'll be the total opposite tomorrow and I'll be back at square one, but he seems to worth it! I'm not one to put this much effort into a guy, but the fact that i am tells me I really like him!!

Lol. That's the typical Capricorn man. Go back and read all of my post from 2010. They are cautious about relationship. They will become distant when they feel their feelings are getting to involve. Read all my post and you will get a better understanding of them.

Posted by capgirl75
Well, he's seeing you on a regular basis. He's texting you all day. He said you are on the same page about not seeing other people. Those all sound like good signs.

The Cap I'm seeing is kind of the same way. He's not real huggy or kissy. Neither am I, but I think I am more so than him. Especially when I haven't seen him all week, when I see him, I just want to attack him, lol.
Basically, I just get little pecks, unless he wants more, then it's full on passion from him. He's either one way or the other. However, he also can be quite cuddly at times. It all just depends on what kind of mood he's in. So I guess I could also say hot/cold. But I don't perceive it that way, because as a Cap, I'm the same way. I just take it for what it is.

He is absolutely not a cuddler while sleeping. Neither am I. Both of us get really hot at night. It just makes us too hot.

As for leaving and it not phasing him, I also have experienced this. I just think he's secure in the feeling that he's gonna see me again. He knows I have to leave, and if I'm leaving at 5AM, he's half asleep anyway. lol.

Everything she saying is exactly the same way with my cap. Yesterday I text my Cap and told him I miss him! He texts back me back do you really? I told him missing him to turn from pain to pleasure if only I knew he was missing me too. He replied was I??am come see me at the hotel.

Posted by aries415
I am a fire sign so I understand where you are coming from with the hot and cold and how slow Caps move. I've been seeing my Cap a little over two years and he still doesnt call me enough according to my standards but when I am with him he hates for me to go. My Cap and I didn't have sex until almost three months I couldn't take it anymore since he had such a hot lean strong body...lol I made the first move. I was the first to hug and kiss, then he began laying up under me like an infant...lol I felt like god this man has been neglected and he still acts that way he latches on and don't let go especially in bed. My advice is to continue to show him affection. And it seems with some Cap men is where they lack in one area they will make up in another..lol Good luck!

"I made the first move. I was the first to hug and kiss, then he began laying up under me like an infant...lol I felt like god this man has been neglected and he still acts that way"

LoL! Awwwww...