Cappy wants to be just friends! Help

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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Would you really want to be married to a guy who doesn't want to be married to you? Don't forget, it's the rest of your life we're talking about.

Sorry, but he is clearly not interested. Move on.

If a guy you have been dating for two years tells you that he's okay with you marrying any other guy and that he can drop you any minute, it's not a good sign. I just wonder how you spent two years with him and didn't have a clue - saw no signs. If I were you, I would really look back at the time spent with him and try to sort out what signs you may have missed, so that you really learn something from this and don't have to go through this again.

So sorry this happened to you!

All the best!
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Scorpio_711
@Scorpio_711
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 6
Posted by Foreverloveme
You can't make any man do something. Especially if it's something he doesn't want to do. He doesn't want to marry at this point in his life or in the foreseeable future.

Take it as a lesson learned & ask thise questions upfront next time.

I'm sorry things happened this way. You have to take him at his word though, even if it hurts.
I dunno why I can't clearly decide whether to jus leave him or shud wait n b frendz ... It's not dat easy to do

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Scorpio_711
@Scorpio_711
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 6
Posted by HappyCapper
Would you really want to be married to a guy who doesn't want to be married to you? Don't forget, it's the rest of your life we're talking about.

Sorry, but he is clearly not interested. Move on.

If a guy you have been dating for two years tells you that he's okay with you marrying any other guy and that he can drop you any minute, it's not a good sign. I just wonder how you spent two years with him and didn't have a clue - saw no signs. If I were you, I would really look back at the time spent with him and try to sort out what signs you may have missed, so that you really learn something from this and don't have to go through this again.

So sorry this happened to you!

All the best!


Hmm but I don't get one thing why he is insisting on m to be frendz and not letting m go also... As far as I know if one knows clearly dat they aren't going to marry then y stay in relationship? Usually everyone walks out of such situation... May b I'm jus thinking from my angle and biased as I hav feelings for him... N there is no other girl as well in his life... I don't understand what he is upto

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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by HappyCapper
Would you really want to be married to a guy who doesn't want to be married to you? Don't forget, it's the rest of your life we're talking about.

Sorry, but he is clearly not interested. Move on.

If a guy you have been dating for two years tells you that he's okay with you marrying any other guy and that he can drop you any minute, it's not a good sign. I just wonder how you spent two years with him and didn't have a clue - saw no signs. If I were you, I would really look back at the time spent with him and try to sort out what signs you may have missed, so that you really learn something from this and don't have to go through this again.

So sorry this happened to you!

All the best!


Hmm but I don't get one thing why he is insisting on m to be frendz and not letting m go also... As far as I know if one knows clearly dat they aren't going to marry then y stay in relationship? Usually everyone walks out of such situation... May b I'm jus thinking from my angle and biased as I hav feelings for him... N there is no other girl as well in his life... I don't understand what he is upto

click to expand

Tbh, it seems to me he doesn't care that much.

He may want to be your friend out of convenience or because he really just wants to be friends with you or because he doesn't care either way or he's just saying that to make you feel better or because it sounds better and is less likely to get him into trouble.

Maybe it's not that important to him to have a girl in his life at this point of his life. Maybe he's gay. We don't know. All we know is that he doesn't want to be married to you and it's up to you to decide if you feel capable of being his friend after this or not. At least you may need some time without him to figure things out, and then decide. I personally don't think he seems to be a person I would want in my life, but I'm not you.

All the best!

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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by Scorpio_711
Posted by starlover
When I finished with my last ex, he asked if we could still be friends

I told him I had enough friends thanks
I cudnt behave rude with him... He called n wanted to return my stuff n ws vry vry rude to m... I said tell m so I Cn return urs too... He said throw it in garbage n hanged up d call
click to expand

you are a doormat. contrarily to common beliefs, many men will not marry a doormat

"Ended the conversation saying that I wasted his 50 min over talk which has no meaning"

this response would make me revoke his access to me on the spot, including a friendship.

many women make the mistakes of trying to talk talk talk to make their guy change. it does not work. talk is cheap. it does not carry any weight. action does. take drastic action to change yourself, change your interaction immediately as a response to his rudeness and taking you for granted. only when he no longer has access to you in any capacity, he will feel and understand the pain of losing you.

btw, i don't understand why you want to marry someone who does not appreciate you even if he wants to marry you. have some self love first.



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anna1
@anna1
11 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 4 · Posts: 717 · Topics: 76
Posted by Scorpio_711
Hi I'm a scorpion women and dating a cappy past 2 yrs. recently when I asked him about our relationship he jus said we are vvvv good friends forever. I said my parents are looking for a guy and he simply said you can marry him if I like and we can stop meeting anytime. Upon asking as to why we can't marry his reply was that relationship gets messy when marriage comes in and he loves his freedom and doesn't wishes to shares his space with anyone but wants to be friends forever. I ws shocked to hear that n said unless he married how can he knows to dat he replied I don't want to experiment n other's experience r enough to learn. Ended the conversation saying that I wasted his 50 min over talk which has no meaning.I'm really upset over this. I mean we spend lot of time together and been close enough. Then why he said like this. How can I make him agree himself to mrg. I really can't handle the situation he jus left like I'm no one to him n it ws so easy. Please help !

I really don't know what to say to you gurl. What the hell were you doing with him during the last two years if you both weren't on the same page —? Didn't you noticed any red flags — Didn't you know he loves his freedom — Didn't you know he doesn't want a relationship— I really can't believe you wanted marriage and you stayed with him for two years without even asking about his future plans ? without asking how he sees you — Grow up girl and learn some lesson.

He can't be blamed because he never told you that he want a relationship with YOU, and upon asking about your relationship (After Good two years) he replied honestly. There is nothing you can say or do to change his mind If he doesn't want a relationship. Don't expect a miracle to happen, How can he change his mind now if he hasn't changed it in two years ?

"Upon asking as to why we can't marry his reply was that relationship gets messy when marriage comes in and he loves his freedom and doesn't wishes to shares his space with anyone" It cannot get more clearer than this. what else he has to say for you to change your mind? You cannot change anyone else. Period

"he simply said you can marry him if I like and we can stop meeting anytime." Oh and this. I can't believe you still want to marry a guy that is ready to drop you anytime. He has no problem if you marry someone else. Whats left to say—

As far as testing is concerned NO he isn't testing you just cut him off from your life completely. I know its easier said than done but it isn't impossible.

I know I may sound harsh but pleeeaase do yourself a favor and amputate him completely from your life. He isn't worth your time. Do not talk to him even once it will hurt you further. Its never too late please save yourself

*Sending hugs and peaceful vibes your way*





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Scorpgirl
@Scorpgirl
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 42 · Topics: 4
Please no flames. I'm sharing personal info to help another human being. Don't crap all over my vulnerability.

Cappie did this to me.

So I just pulled away gradually -- not trying to manipulate, which of course being a Scorpio I did at first.

But gradually his ups and downs drove me up a wall, and the fiery feelings we had for each other died down. He still wanted to have sex with me, but gradually I stopped being attracted to him. (Never thought that would happen).

He kept calling and sending messages. I ignored him. Or answered occasionally.

He told me he thought I was his soul mate. I told him what I wanted in any relationship -- a lifetime partner.

I negotiated. He agreed and told me I was his girl. Then pulled away.

This shit went on for 2 years. What I never gave up on was communication and I got very honest with him.

I told him my needs. I told him he had broken my heart. When he told me never to give up on true love, I told him to prove it.

I said things to him that were so cruel I thought he'd never talk to me again. But he kept coming back.

Finally, our relationship has reached a point where we are committed. We are an older couple. I told him I didn't want to get married yet ( I don't!) but I would like a ring from him at some point. He said he could see that happening.

We are not having sex now, but we flirt and touch. It will happen again when I feel comfortable, and not before. Honesty is the foundation of our relationship.

You really need to do the Scorpio death walk to date Cappy. The walk through the fires of your own fears, your own hell until you come out the other side just detached and not caring what he thinks any more.

And be very honest with him.

So my advice is to follow your own feelings. It takes a strong man to get Scorpio into her feminine side. For me, Cappie is that man.