Capricorn man in love with his female boss?

Well maybe not "boss" , but the leader of the team he is working in. I'm a female and manage a team of teachers. This year a new member ( the capricorn)was added to this team and we immediately " clicked". Both of us are really connecting and became closer and closer to each other during the past months. We're even seeing each other outside school but we're not formally dating ( we're calling it sharing the same interests as friends). We're both in our forties ( me being older) , divorced with children, having had the same experiences and in the same phase of our lives. First I thought it was " friendship at the first sight" but the better we get to know each other, I notice that he feels " more" , I do feel more too, but our professional relationship is holding me ( and him?)back. To be honest if this wouldn't have been the case I'm rather sure we would have pursued a relationship . Not a fling, not just sex but a relationship building towards a future together with our children. Were both afraid to express this ( I'm capricorn moon) which from his side I completely understand ( sun capricorn , venus capricorn) but I would be willing to open the situation up if I was almost sure that he thinks the same.. So, question; would a capricorn male take this " risk" for love?

Caps are pretty leery about messing around at the office. We're not easily going to risk our reputation. Our career is our bread and butter.

If you date for awhile, then what happens if you break up. You have to face that person every single day. And if you hated each other, well, then there is awkardness and uncomfortableness and that's not condusive to a positive work environment.

IF a cap does mess around, we'd have to know you pretty well and have placed a LOT of trust in you to keep the secret. No one could ever know about the relationship (even going out on a date in public is a risk). If it came to the point where you wanted to get married, then of course it would have to come out and people would be surprised to find out.

Anyway, that's the best case scenario.

Most likely, we won't risk it. It could happen though, but it would be rare. Usually romance and work don't mix.

Of course, I can't speak for every capricorn, but that's how I see it.

Let's put it this way. We're already " seeing each other" as friends, something which he initiated. Ballet and art exhibitions and we are seen together in public. All of it very decent, respectable we're having a lot of fun , sharing thoughts, ideas,good conversation. In my country ( the Netherlands) relationships on the work floor are not considered as a taboo. In our school we have a couple of married/dating teachers. My problem is that I'm higher in "rank". This could, theoretically, be solved if he moves to another team, then I would no longer be his manager, but I would still be higher up in position ... It's the latter I'm wondering about, would he that consider a problem.?
What if he feels this is true love? Would he ignore that because of what society/conventions prescribe? ( he is British though..)

Are you asking if he'll have a problem dating you since you have a higher position?

Oh jesus, just go for it, and if he's got a stick up his backside then it's his problem. After all, it's a school, not an operating theatre. Nobody will probably notice anyway.

Yes and within the same school. I will , doesn't matter in which department he is, be in a higher position. I don't think he would have had a problem with it if he for example would teach in another school. Thinking about it.. My question is actually: would a capricorn male go for true love no matter what circumstances he has to face? ( and I'm not talking about hurting other people but about conventions, expectations of society)

@richcap.. 😄 I know. I would!! But I'm dealing with this rather conservative British person on top of being ( as I read in this forum) an afraid of rejection and reputation is holy Capricorn!!

What expectations of society? How can dating your boss at work be some kind of social faux-pas in a country as liberal as yours?

Does he like to go out and have a drink?

Not in my country, you're right BUT he's fresh from England... And he does like a beer yes...and don't forget me..

Good, he likes a beer. Go out and get drunk with him. Problem solved.

And by the way, I'm also from England. We allow gay marriage over here you know...

And also he's a TEACHER, LOL the guy did a PGCE, that's not someone who's bothered about convention. You should ask him how we look upon teachers over here.

Sorry ..posting here takes either a long time or it goes very fast, intended to delete the last part. So, better I finish. Don't forget me being a very reserved person and I don't like to embarrass people! Especially not when they're in my team... I'm stuck

If there's one place you can get another job it's teaching. Pop the question in July just before the summer holidays then you have 6 weeks to get everything sorted out if it goes wrong.

We'll be waiting to find out what happened.

Hmm, he did do a PGCE....actually relieved to hear an Englishman say that ..and liberal thinking? We accept gay marriage AND by law consider both men/women as parents to the child. Doesn't happen on the isle yet!

PGCE used to be 90% women here. I know, I used to gatecrash their parties!

I love your answers! 😄 but that's not so easy, he can only teach at international schools and were the only one around where I live. Advocate of the devil; would HE take the initiative ? ( don't think so..)

Aha same here...which does make it rather obvious that the ONLY single man is seeing his single line manager....

But you can teach at other schools right? Get the applications in now just in case, you might even advance your career 😉

And make sure there's alcohol involved on a hot summers day. That's a plan right? 🙂

And your answers are very non-capricorn, at least what they tend to show in public...Maybe British Capricorns are a different race

Oh we're hopeless romantics underneath, someone just has to loosen us up. A pisces did that to me many moons ago.

I know! But that takes a while (although?) , I don't believe the stuck -up-reserved British people myth ( esp. Not after a drink) but I do believe this one is a bit scared of " what people might think and whether I would slap him in the face if he initiated"

Only one way to find out hey!

Anyway it's late, get to bed. You've got school in the morning...

Sorry, I did go to bed...my sign is ( do I dare to say..) Leo sun, Capriicorn moon. he ( obviously ) capricorn sun, sagg moon

Posted by CluelessCancer
What's your SIGN?

Why is that important? 😉

Posted by YS1
Let's put it this way. We're already " seeing each other" as friends, something which he initiated. Ballet and art exhibitions and we are seen together in public. All of it very decent, respectable we're having a lot of fun , sharing thoughts, ideas,good conversation. In my country ( the Netherlands) relationships on the work floor are not considered as a taboo. In our school we have a couple of married/dating teachers. My problem is that I'm higher in "rank". This could, theoretically, be solved if he moves to another team, then I would no longer be his manager, but I would still be higher up in position ... It's the latter I'm wondering about, would he that consider a problem.?
What if he feels this is true love? Would he ignore that because of what society/conventions prescribe? ( he is British though..)

Caps want to ascend the ladder of success on their own merits. He would never want to be accused of "sleeping" his way up the ladder. You know how people are, they will assume/gossip/spread rumors and people just love to believe these kind of things. Well, that's how it is in America anyway.

Of course, friendships develop into more lots of times. If interoffice dating is accepted in your country, then I don't see where there would be a problem with you two dating.

Posted by RichCap
If there's one place you can get another job it's teaching. Pop the question in July just before the summer holidays then you have 6 weeks to get everything sorted out if it goes wrong.

.

That's good advice. Wait til the end of term, then approach it more romantically. Like he said, you'll have the summer to see where it goes.
🙂

Maybe my problem is that I'm actually surprised ,him being a full fletched capricorn , that he initiates the " we're not dating" outside work activities . In the beginning I just thought "nice and friendly man" and being friends is not a problem, I thought he would never take the risk to start something rather unconventional ( even in my country) . He's my subordinate, I'm 6 years older so how crazy can it get..he's nothing like a Capricorn apart from the gradual conquest ... Are capricorns really so determined,?Being a Leo myself, I might be reading into things....sigh.. It's ridiculous! I all of a sudden lost my independent brain and he happily continues "oozing".....

How "calculating-planning" are capricorns? Do they weigh pro's and con's before they take a leap/risk?

So, then translate his actions for me in a capriconial way of thinking...

You are a Leo? maybe he is attracted to your energy ?and if he is young is attracted to older women.
I asked several Capmen and they said they were attracted to older women when younger and when they got older they liked younger women-).Is like backwards to them..-)

I got chat up by Capmen in their late 20's and iam in my mid 30's.I didnt go further, to see romantic interest in a younger man,i dont know exactly why(maybe because i dont want to be just a 'experience 'for a younger man).

He's definitely attracted to my energy and we're both in our forties.. 🙂 so no he's not a young cap. He's rather serious but witty and flirtatious I'm rather 'young' bouncy and energetic ( and I do not flirt, although accused of giving mixed messages) What I don't understand is that he takes the risk of embarrassment/ rejection .

Posted by YS1
How "calculating-planning" are capricorns? Do they weigh pro's and con's before they take a leap/risk?

Definitely!!!

If the risk outweighs the pros, it's a no-go.

Well...that's not a very lady like advice 🙂 but nice to have confirmed that I'm powerful, influential and successful , because I am! . I'm just trying not to scare the hell out of a less powerful, influential , successful though charming Capricorn!
Truecap; hmm, then he probably decided that the risks outweigh the con's!

We don't know that yet!

Keep being friends with him and see what shakes out of it. 🙂
Go out for a drink, caps open up when a little spirits are involved. 😉

🍹

You're right...I'll go with the flow but sometimes get a bit impatient.. How can a man be so obviously flirty and still leave a woman wondering. It's almost a skill.
He has a sag moon though..which makes him less reliable I think

🙂 they do! But you'll never know what they are like the day or week after! ( either in a cave or on cloud nine , simply cannot be predicted)

I see this one tomorrow evening BUT it's hard, really very hard and complicated to reply to a text whether we'll meet 18.30 or 19.30....24 hrs to open a text..how difficult can that be?

In the same room we're almost telepathic but when it comes down to digital devices , hes a nightmare!

Hahahaha! Same here! Or phone not charged, or hearing a bleep but too busy and then forget. This one didn't read his messages for four days. The last message he read was from me to decide on the appointment we have tomorrow ( answer I got in person) and the first message he didn't read was me asking him to decide on a time! ( there are four days in between these messages.) . I know he's very busy this week and don't expect immediate or long answered but to space out completely?

I have to take the above back...right after I wrote it I received a triple answer. Ok next question; what's the difference between a just friendly male cap and the behaviour of a cap being attracted to you. . This one is a lady's man in general , he charmes everyone, so maybe he blinded me with that and Im misinterpreting his behaviour.....im not really a risk taker am I? 🙂

I think because you are quite different between you ,makes the attraction bigger.
Wait and see!-)

Well, this one was sure, on time and in text/phone contact up till the place of meeting ...when I read all the comments on how Capricorns are reserved, backing off and afraid to show their emotions.. Then this one doesn't make sense! I think I'm more of a capricorn than he is! After the exhibition I found the courage to ask him to have a drink afterwards ( we do cultural /arts things together but stayed at that up till now) . He took it on and suggested in one breath first dinner ( because we had too much champagne ) and then a drink. He talked endlessly ( Well so did I) about his children, family, our divorces , how he felt about his., how I coped with mine etc.etc. He payed for dinner and only after we left the restaurant way after midnight, standing at our bikes ( this is the Netherlands) he got into the serious , - I try to look relax- but-I-don't -know- how to- behave mode, which made ME nervous....I thought HE was the real Capricorn, but obviously my moon is overruling his....

Oooow, that's so sweet!! Did you also get that I'm his line manager and he is British? Makes it a bit more complicated..
And yes! I actually like the slow pace, exactly for that reason. it's just that I keep wondering whether I misinterpret his behaviour and I gathered that sag moons are somewhat fickle