Capricorn man pulling away. Please help :)

Hi 🙂,
So I'm a 24yr old leo girl who has been seeing this 28 yr old cappie for maybe 2 - 3 months. A very handsome frat typa guy who, despite the fact, seems to be pretty tender and insecure. I briefly met him a year ago, and then when he tried to see me back then, I was already in a commited relationship. This year, we accidentally met, decided to go out on a date and basically clicked instantaneously. I applied no pressure, didn't initiate calls or texts which worked really well. He kept telling me how he was telling his parents all about me, etc, etc..We would see each other once, maybe twice, a week which was also very good for me because I always keep busy and have a rich social life. There was a time when I was absent every weekend for three weeks in a row in May, and he was fine with that which I really appreciated.
I think I sensed things started changing about a week or two ago.If I remember it right, he hasn't seen me for two weeks. I can't rememeber what was the first time, but the second time around, he told me he was sick.And then he said he got worse which was this week already. Today is Wednesday, june 30th: I texted him the last time on Monday, the 28th. He replied back without asking how I was ( he usually asks), and after that, I decided not to text or call again.
There is a great chance he may be sick and out of it, and I just crave attention from a guy I like, and since I'm not getting it, I start freaking out, but I think he is pulling away. If he is, I do not want to waste my time on him especially since I had my own conserns regarding his certain character traits and habbits. But if he is distancing himself due to some stupid misuderstanding,I would like to sort things out and keep him because the peaceful, fun relationships we had satisfied me. I even thought that I should wait for about a week, and if he doesn't resurface, go over to his place ( because phone talks don't work in such cases)and calmly ask.
Right now, I'm really uncomfortable because I don't have clarity as to what I'm experiencing is his nature or him trying to get away from me.Oh, and whereas I'm a pretty typical leo, I consider myself to be a bit more evelved version. I'm understanding and compromising.
What do you guys think? This forum is absolutely amazing, so I hope you will answer.

Thanks in advance 🙂!

Agreed wth Amethys! You can be away and do your thing but as soon as he start doing the same thing u wonder n ponder. I dunno I think all Caps are different......There are similarities but each person is unique. On this forum they say Caps move slow but I never experience that with a Cap that I dated......It goes back to that saying "He's just not that into you"......but inyour situation, you not opening up and being busy probably led him astray....u prolly got boring or he met some1.

I just say go with it, just let it be,if you interested then he should know this without being too available and open....but let him know wassup....not overly dramatic or emotional but be like "Im really feeling you

But don't freak he could really be sick.....and who wants to see some1 their crap face sick?

I guess my mistake was that I did not provide enough information on my behaviour. He didn't do all the work. Once it became clear he was after me, I'd call, and I'd get in touch while I was away, and I'd give him small gifts, and cook food and stuff like that. So no ( and I am absolutely positive about it), he didn't feel like he was doing all the work. If I want to show people I care, they always get it. And he would say how flattered and taken care of he felt. I also planned mini trips we took together always saying he was the only person I wanted to go with. That was emphasized. At the same time, I know I didn't come off too needy.
The version about me being too uncaring or whatever is definitely incorrect, but thank you so much for the answers! I really appreciate you taking time to reply. Cappies are so difficult sometimes; I feel like I need advice from the reps of the sign, and I'm getting it here 🙂 thanks again!NOw that I have assurance that going over there and asking may work, I think I may do that afterall 🙂

*Agreed wth Amethys! You can be away and do your thing but as soon as he start doing the same thing u wonder n ponder.*
Yes, justSophs, you are so right! I always do that, and it's also pretty typical for leos of both genders. It's a huge problem for me, and I'm working on it hahahah

IMO he's not as interested in you as he initially appeared to be...He's cooling off b/c he may not feel it deep enough to go any further...Typically men that behave this way is not that into you...I wouldn't say it's a total lost but this guy isn't interested in being your boyfriend (I'm sure he has his own reasons why) I definitely wouldn't show up unannounced, will only serve to freak him out and make you look like a complete desperate psycho, my advice would be to leave him alone, don't call, don't chase him by looking for him, initiating text messages, give him time to sort out his feelings, if he truly want you in his life he will come back around and give it a go again but if you notice a pattern of in and out, hot and cold, my suggestion would be to throw him in the friend (he's just not that into me) category and move on to someone that will not behave this way towards you...Any man that behaves this way will create doubt in a woman, she will begin to try to fix it and once that happens it's all down hill from there.

Something most likely turned him off to you, could be a new woman he's interested in (usually has something to do with another woman)

Oh I thought he pulled out to soon

*IMO he's not as interested in you as he initially appeared to be...* - that's how I feel. I just really think women should judge men by their actions: if he does not call you - he does not think about you - he's not into you. period. who would want a man who's not into them..
And that's ok. I'm not desperate, and I have had a feeling he wouldn't be a good partner to me because he was kind of mellow, and I still like it when men are in charge. It's difficult to find someone who would be more active and adventurous than me at the same time being someone who I have chemistry with.
HOWEVER,if it was something specifically in my personality or something I said (versus another girl blah blah)that turned him off, I would like to know his opinion because it may be something I don't wanna repeat with other guys. And that's WHY I'd like to talk to him. But I def could care less about talking him into dating me again. And then, if the on and off pattern is what he is developing with me, it's not going to work.
The more I think about it, the more confident I am I should just let it go. Another thing that literally makes me mad is that he's being such a pussy and cannot or doesn't want to call me and say hey. I like someone else or I don't like you as I used to. I think this would be more respectful. But then again, guys will lie just about anything just to avoid being honest and saying they don't like you.
Nevertheless, of course, I am disappointed 😢.

Oh I thought he pulled out to soon - ahahahahah! i wish everyhting was that simple 😄

Posted by LovelyScorp
If you feel that you have not been clingy, you've been yourself, not overly needy, fun to be around and REAL then do you really want his opinion on what turned him off to you? Really? Male caps are finicky people. Very high expectations of themselves and others. You could do everything he says and still not be enough.

Be yourself. You are who you are. You can't change your personality because someone didn't fancy it. Shit, we'd be changing everyday to please everyone. It takes all kinds of people to make this world. That's exhausting. Everyone is different, somebody is out there who will take you exactly as who you are. Your perfect self, no masks, no pretending, just you.

what she said....I couldn't have said it better, be your best self and the men that want to stay will stay and the ones that don't won't but just know a man leaving isn't always about you, him leaving, avoiding, dropping off the scene as though something is wrong with you, wrong with the connection/relationship is more about him not you, their is nothing so bad that you have to know why, who fricken cares why, she is so right about the part if you do everything he says he still won't want you LOL...Gosh that is the truth

I agree with Scorp, why the need for "closure"? You said you cooked for him and all that other stuff.....I mean, why do you need his validation. That just screams insecure.

I say just let it be and do you. If he wants you, he will come back around.....he clearly knows you like him by all your actions. Even if he isn't interested anymore, who cares, each person is unique, we not meant to be Tom Dick & Harry.

You remind me of another leo woman on here: faithgoblin...just the wording and the way u have solutions for everything but still asking......hmmm very suspect.

I don't have any problems with being myself. And I don't believe that adjusting to a person doing whatever it takes just to be with them is worth it. I want to be with someone who makes ME happy 😄.If they don't, I move on. As I already said, I don't want to talk to GET HIM BACK.
I am also not the strongest believer in "be who you are" or "i am what i am" because EVERYONE needs improvement here and there. If what he had to say would be adequate and his complaint would be about something that hurt his feelings,and I didn't notice it ( and this is something that would be beneficial for me to apply in my future relationships), I think I should totally apply it.
But when i comes to this cappie guy, as of now, I don't think I should talk to him.

Guys, I am very VEERRRRYYYY grateful you answered. This forum has been a huge help 🙂!

I agree with Scorp, why the need for "closure"? - this is very very true, good observation. I don't know why I need it; need to ponder on that 🙂.

I say just let it be and do you. If he wants you, he will come back around - that's what I think, about him or any other guy.

Well, I can say I'm not that faithgoblin person, but maybe I need to friend her, share some insecuruties 🙂

But who is he to determine your worth, to determine that your wrong about something...men lose interest get used to it...You know deep down you did nothing wrong...his distancing himself makes you feel insecure, you need his validation that your okay and and you won't get it...MOVE ON, save yourself from the humiliation of coming off like a desperate insecure fool over a man and instead shrug it off, shake it off and keep it moving...If you know you did everything to make it work, to make things flow in the right direction and he still chose to back out, it's his problem, not yours...

Let's say you go to him and he states his issues (highly doubt that will happen) but let's pretend he says well our personalities were so different and I wasn't feeling you...How is that helping you? You will most likely feel worse about yourself, feel like a failure and want to keep trying, you can't turn yourself inside out trying to make him feel attraction so he will stay...puhleeze...take it from us...move on, cap men are stubborn and you won't be able to fix it no matter how hard you try but if your patient he will stop the ignoring/distancing IF YOU SHOW HIM YOU DON'T NEED HIM, he's not the air you breathe, he really isn't all that important to you and come back to fix it, make it right..

I can guarantee you if you seek him out, chase him down by text messaging, showing up at his door, that will be the nail in the coffin, your officially put into the crazy needy desperate category and he's done...

Seems like you was hard to get at 1st and then started developing feelings for him. Capricorns like attention and when you started neglecting him he could have got mad. They normally act like they don't care but things do upset them. When my cappy was mad at me I didn't know why at 1st. He never said he was mad but he stop calling me and when I would call him he would say he was busy.This went on for over 6 weeks. When I finally noticed what he was upset about I explain to him the situation then we started back talking. He will resurface!!!

LovelyScorp, I'm not sure why you keep talking about texting and calling 🙂? First of all, he always got back to me. I would never stalk a person if they don't get back to me lol.I have other things to do. Secondly, it was my initiative to just stop getting in touch with him because I wanted to make sure that the change in tone or him calling me more rarely was actually true vs. me overthinking everything. So all in all, he really has all the space he can get 🙂. I have never bombed him with texts or calls.
I think your remark about the pattern is very interesting. I can't really say anything cuz I don't have his messages or phone number for that matter anymore. But basically, after a while, he would call me pretty much every night, and then I would call him if we were not together. Or he would tell me to call him when I had time, something like this.

1goodluck I believe LS was speaking about allowing him to lead...If you read up on Cap men they love to be the initiators/leaders with women, when a woman pursue him and just to be clear giving attention and pursuing is 2 separate things IMO, giving attention is when he shows up and initiates some form of contact and your 100% present and into him in every way and he can feel all of you being into him versus you INITIATING text messages, calling, emailing first because you need him (if a man isn't ready for a real relationship that kind of behavior will turn him off, scare him even and create distance between the both of you) initiating borders on chasing and if you chase he will run...

LS made a good point when she said that sometimes it's not about another woman but 99% of the time it is about another woman, someone possibly from his past may have resurfaced, he may have found interest in another, he may be having second thoughts about you, he may just want to cool everything down, slow it all down by giving you the cold shoulder but at the same time he doesn't want to lose you either, yet he can't give you the impression that he's going to be a permanent fixture in your life so he has to temper how much of himself he gives to you as to not give you the wrong idea that your going to be in a full on committed monogamous relationship with him...We tend to make excuses for men, we say there busy, they have hobbies etc which is true but it's still an excuse. This guy if he's interested will show back up and you have to decide if this is the kind of man that you want, a man that's in and out and maybe address that with him, tell him you respect his space but you will not accept a man coming in and out of your life.

We all get sick, need space to nurture ourselves but when a man suddenly drops off of the face of the earth, goes from hot hot hot to cool to cold then he's lost interest in you, that doesn't mean it's your fault, it doesn't mean you did something wrong, it's just that this guy isn't the one for you b/c a man that's into you, sick or not will not treat you the way he's treating you.

If you want to have some fun, then keep him, if you want a real relationship I suggest moving on, don't put up with half ass treatment b/c honestly you don't have to, there is a man that will be just as full on and present in the relationship as you are but you can't settle.

Let's be clear, if your beyond year 1, formed a real relationship then initiating a call, text, email doesn't feel like chasing, he's established some form of a commitment but when your a couple of days/weeks/months in and you both haven't established how serious you are about one another and your still in the friend zone, FWB zone, dating zone just calling all will nilly (initiating without him asking you to) emailing etc well it gets pretty annoying. Stop contact and if he doesn't pick up again then he's done.

I am convinced good luck is faithgoblin....call me crazy.

just Sophs, are you talking about faith $ golphin? If you are, that makes me look like a complete wacko because she's responding in my own thread loool. I hope on this forum, there are no people who talk to themselves under different nicknames 🙂.
Tiki, thanks for the advice.
Honestly, I don't care about what surrounds the fact he disappeared. There may be hundreds of reasons, and I'm not going to kill myself over this. In pretty much any situation, I like knowing I did everything I could to get the max out of it. That's why I'm really not comfortable with leaving this hanging like this. And yes, it would make me feel better to hear what the reason was; whatever it may be. And I guess that's why I need or PREFER closure. Right now, I don't see this situation as resolved. But I'll think I'll let it go.

Honestly and I don't say this to offend you but you seem completely desperate and if I/we sense it here he will too and it will only make your situation WORSE....Closure closes the door, your not trying to close the door permanently are you? If you are then you indeed will close the door and on top of that you will not get the closure you need from him, he will sense your desperation and shut down even more and on top of that he's going to think your completely out of control, too invested in him emotionally and wonder why in the hell your bringing him drama since you haven't really spoke in a couple of weeks....If the door will be closed, let him close it, you go ahead and act as if none of it means all that much to you, that's when he will resurface..give it time...be patient

Listen to the voice of reason, I know everything inside of you wants to move towards him but that very behavior will only create more distance and it will make you appear the opposite of what you truly are...needy and clingy...He may just assume your getting on with your life and, tending to your hobbies, your happiness which includes work, school (if you attend school) friends and family...He may not feel there is anything wrong between the 2 of you but I can promise you if you move towards him with the icky ewwy vibe you have now he will shut completely down and the door is closed.

As my mama would say to us when we got too anxious and excited, sit your ass down and be still, once we calmed down she would let us out the door LOL, my point being, go tend to your life, stop focusing on it as much as you can as someone else suggested and go out on a few dates and make them great....just leave it alone for now

None of us here can stop you and you do seem to have your mind up to make this fatal mistake...I know you will regret seeking closure b/c honestly leaving the door open if your still interested in him is in your best interest and the most effective option...not to seek closure

Thank you all so much 🙂!

If a Cap is being a douche and pulling away........he is a douche....

Please, he is not a special guy......he may be special in the head but not worth it.

They are the ultimate players........it's all about them and screw you. They are the ultimate and i do mean ULTIMATE romantic partners.....but you will be replaced quickly. They are wussies. If he marries you it's out of obligation REA😱 Kids....so he will stay with you in misery and screw on the side...many many times.

Source.....my family, friends, sisters, ex bf's..........

Also, read up on Tiger Woods, Mel Gibson....Kid Rock....Dolly Parton...which is knows for her OPEN marriage and I know several who are....Janis Joplin...

and yea I'm bitter

Astrologicallycurious, your post made me think I don't want to get involved with another cappie again 😢.
I really hope things will improve for you (and for me actually 🙂 ).

My experience is just that...my experience. I'm totally just expressing my feelings and experience at the moment. When it's good, its really really good. So don't pay attention to anyone including myself just keep in mind to keep you first. Enjoy and learn from your experiences. 🙂

Posted by astrologicallycurious


They are the ultimate players........it's all about them and screw you. They are the ultimate and i do mean ULTIMATE romantic partners.....but you will be replaced quickly. They are wussies. If he marries you it's out of obligation REA😱 Kids....so he will stay with you in misery and screw on the side...many many times.

Astro that statement is so spot on! This is/was my ex Cap husband. I had 2 kids with him and we married due to me being pregnant with the first, but I eventually divorced his ass and left. He married his mistress and their son was born 9 months later. Even though she cheated with him, I feel sorry for her, because she didnt know what she was getting into. The douche Cappies are slick talkers.

Hello I met a Cap almost a seven months ago, he cooked dinner for me and then we kind of fizzled out because I went back to an old relationship and I didn't want to cheat. I contacted him 3 weeks ago, we finally started talking again. We had talked the whole time he was on vacation visiting his children. I started falling for him right off. (Iam a gemini/taurus, May 25.) He came back from vacation and I picked him up from the train station. We did sleep together, which i regreat. That following weekend was the 4th of July, he went with his friends, each day he texted me as if nothing was wrong. My feelings were hurt because I felt he should be with me. He is going through a situation with his car, and getting the correct paperwork to get it registered in the state. His friend got his car impounded. I was supposed to see him yesterday and I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said he was going to workout, next thing I find out is that he is at a friends house and can I come over tomorrow, which is today.
Iam in psychology graduate school how funny right, I know I should know this. I just wonder if he is into me or not, he says that he wants to take things slow, but what should I do, should I see someone else is he seriously into me or should I just move on. This is hard for me, I am not sure what I should do now. I like him. The night we were toghether he was very affectionate. Now I am confused. Is he into me or should I just leave him alone? Thanks in advance

Caps guys are cool, I dealt with a couple as friend, co-worker, and boyfriend. But they are not Alpha or Omega.

Just do you. Stop sweating the guy. Some men like the chase but thats if their into you. Sex always change the dynamic of relationships, he got what he wanted, now he's pondering it. I can't judge if you gave up the booty too fast but don't obsess over it. Was it good? Think about you. You having an orgasm is very essential in a relationship on both sides.

If he's not doing his thing then you reconsider. Stop sweating him and go get ur nails done or something. Its an even playing field when it comes to relationships.

If he wants it, he will call, thats men. Women can intiate and text but if he want it, he will call. If not, oh well not everybody who you meet in life is meant to be yours forever and ever.

Its ok to think but its differet to obsess and not be happy because of him. Just live your life.

Wow I am starting to see that I am doing myself a favor. I will say that he went down on me, and it happend within a minute, but sex wise he was rough and not that great!! He has that cockyness that I was attracted to but I look at longterm and I think about the way he plays these sort of games to know exactly what your feeling but when it comes to him, he is not going to share what he is thinking at all. I am a Gemini/Taurus and I have to say that I have a lot of Gem as fast pace, but taurus when it comes to feelings. I did enjoy the long conversations on the phone and I noticed that one night when I had a friend over he didn;t know but he kept saying "I'll wait" it was like he knew, but what it was is that he didn't want to be told no. I get the feeling that it could be someone else and I know that I don't have the right to trip, but I got a little spoiled by the attention he gave. I noticed that he stopped texting me, but we did talk on the phone earlier and from what I am reading they like to play the chase game. I am not that type of person. I like to put the cards on the table and read them as they are, not put the cards on his table and wonder if he means yes did he say no or vice versa. I noticed that he talked much crap like he didn't care what a person did. I know I am going let this drop, but I am venting a little. I would never let him know he has me feeling this way. I also don't like the fact that they have so many friends to chill with drink play cards and stuff, it just seems like between him going into the reserves, starting Nursing school and thinking about his children that live in another state his hands are full and I like to be number one. I noticed that he liked to be cuddeled I messed up, but that sexual attraction was there.

I am not sure where i stand or if I want to stand anywhere, I just hate the gemini/taurus side of me that loves being in relationships, I have been in longterm ones all my life and I am feeling my way through a relationship breakup that has been over for a longtime, but I had to make sure. So now that I am single I enjoyed his interest, but I also know r.Kelley is a cap I think. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear what I already know like I said just venting.

Please tell me what Alpha or Omega means?

I am so glad that I have read the comments you all have made. I did look at the pattern and I have to say we hwave talked or texted everyday for about 2weeks. I noticed one night he called me drunk and playing cards with his boys, i looked at that as a good sign or he was fronting that he had a woman to talk to, but he said " I can't give you too much of me all at once, I have to save some to keep you interested" and I am just the opposite, I don't like a player or someone to chase but i will admit i met this one guy who was a scorpio and he was talking about us having a relationship and all of this other crap. I wasn't feeling this, I WAS wondering what is his problem moving soo fast, makes sense on the other end. I remember when I was in my 20s my best friend was messing around with a married capricorn and he was in his 30s. They were knocking boots cause thats what we called it back then and she had to go to the bathroom, she walked into a baby nursery. Come to find out his wife was in a military hospital she had just had his baby and that night he was screwing her in him and his wifes bed. I am not sure what ever happend to him, but I do know I read in an astrology book that Sag/cusp of capricorn's were the most difficult sign in the zodiac to have a relationship with. I know my feeling hurt easily and I don't want that. Do Caps ever remain faithful, and are they the jealous type, if so i bet they don't show it.

I have another question the weird part is my daughter is 17 and she has met a cap too, he is 18. He tells her that he wants to take it slow, but on the other hand they are telling each other that they love eachother. My thing is i know caps are sexual. My daughter is a cancer July 1st and he is Jan12 full cap. He tells her that he wants to take their time and not rush, but she is already talking to his father, in which i told her I don't like he is an only child, and his parents have been married 22 years so thats a good sign. I tell my daughter to be carefull and slow down. She introduced him to me on her birthday, but supposingly they were talking for only these two weeks, but I am not sure about this. I have talked about birth control, because I am not wanting to go there, and I just want to get u'alls opinion on her situation too. Do you think this young cap will be all into wanting to sex, I know this is pretty basic question what young boy doesn't but I just want to get some advice from the other side. I must confess I prayed that my daughter would find a young boy that she could get along with and I like his parents too. So when she mentioned this guy, because I had told her she couldn't date until 17, so now she is and wants to rush this on me. I am explaining to her that meeting his parets is a big step and I didn't think I needed to meet his partents from this point. I just don;t want to see her get hurt, but there is a part of me that is jealous because she talks to her cap on the phone always, I know this is silly, but I thought I'd admit it here, but I love my daughter and I don't want her to become hurt. What do you all think?

What are those differences?

Aren't Cancers and Capricorns compatible? Why doubting him? I think you should let your daughter experience life, Stayorgo.


I've been with Sagittarius men. And they are known as sexual and runners. But so far, my daughter (Aries) is with this SAG man for three years now. Once they get their schools and all dealt with, I do hope that they create a family one day. Besides... young love is less worrisome. Usually the problems of non-committed relationships start at a later age which is either due to bad past experiences, being used to living alone for long, or who knows what.

So I don't see a reason why you should be so worried. I'd be worried, if I wouldn't like that guy at all...

Thank,you for your imput, I do agree with you.

Ok, the cappie guy is back.
Obvously, we were partying in the same area; he noticed me and started texting. talked to me for 3 hours in the middle of the night with (drunk) i loveyous and baby and etc..apologized a hundred times, continued texting and calling for the next two days and wants to meet up this weekend.
Basically, it's the same good ole cappie stuff: he works his ass off till 11 every night. and he felt like we were at the point of going futher and actually calling it a relationship, and he didn't want to do that because he wants more of his girlfriend than seeing her once a week.so he stopped right there and obviously, the easiest way was to never get back to me again. and that's what happened. he is asking my opinion. and i mean i would be fine with having whatever we had and going back to it, but i don't like vagueness because in this case, i never know if we are on the same level emotionally or attachment wise.
I would really appreciate of you could tell me what you think his behaviour indicates, but please don't give me advice on what i should do 🙂).

Unfortunately he hasn't changed, drunk text messages equals to I'm horny, let's hook up, don't kid yourself, if he didn't come to you and offer you the kind of relationship you want then he's still not interested in being in a real relationship with you, if he's still working long hours he's still not interested in going the distance with you, he may give you a couple more months but don't be very surprised if the cycle repeats itself and he backs out and disappears again...

If you want to go out with him to see what's there for you then hey do that but make sure before you have sex or before you give yourself up to him emotionally that your 100% sure he's on the same page with you, that your happy with what he's offering, it's easy to get caught up in our own fantasies over the men we adore, our dream man but you have to keep both of your feet on the ground, mentally, physically, emotionally or you will be right back to square one....getting dumped after he of course has gotten what he wanted which most likely is a quick fling that equals to him getting sex....Sounds like whomever he was chasing/dating has flaked out and he's hoping the door is still open with you sexually.

Yet if he offers you the kind of relationship you want, then go for it but if everything is vague and inaudible emotionally meaning you can't quite figure out what the hell he wants....back out before you get disappointed and hurt over his actions...It all depends on what you want.

Thank you Tiki. I completely agree with you.