Compassion & Nurturing

This is something that came up with my Capricorn husband over the weekend. He made mention that I am not exceptionally compassionate or nurturing when he shares his problems with me, instead I just listen and give advice. When I asked what he would consider compassion and nurturing he told me that if he told me that it wouldn't mean anything when I did it. I'll admit that I can tend to distance myself from other people's negative feelings so that I don't get caught up with them and make them my own. But this is my husband of 17 years and I would like to be able to provide him the compassion that he is looking for. What does being compassionate mean to you Capricorn folks? When you do open up and share your feelings with others what do you hope to hear or receive in response?

Compassion to me is by acknowledging my feelings and not making me feel judged for it. It is listening and sympathizing. It is being kind when I'm in a mood and allowing me to have my mood without interference. Sometimes I want to vent, so I need a sounding board. Not necessarily advice, but a safe place to release my inner thoughts. Sometimes I need to be left alone and someone who understands that is priceless. I also think compassion is offering some stability and security for my emotional outburst and counteracting that with calmness and a reassurance that things will be okay.

Don't solve my problems for me. I'll figure that out. Just listen and let me get them out verbally. Then if I want some brainstorming to the problems, I'll let ya know or you'll be able to tell by conversation.

What sign are you, may I ask?

I am a Cancer Sun/Cap Moon. I am a great listener in the sense that I am listening and can recite back every detail of the story but I tend to either give suggestions or say "I'm sorry you're dealing with that" and then try to change the subject to happier things. Not because I don't care but because in my own life I tend to take the time to be in my negative emotions alone, to feel them completely, to analyze them and then to look for the silver lining, dust myself off and move forward. I tend to be uncomfortable with other people's negative emotions because my first instinct is to be completely in that feeling and if you did that with everyone's emotions you would just be a hot mess all day long (we have three teenagers, so someone is always in a bad mood). But I recognize that this is something he needs and I would like to work on it. I guess I have effectively learned to put up a wall with other people's feelings over the years and the concept of opening myself up to that seems so foreign to me now.

Posted by PerceptiveSymmetry
I am a Cancer Sun/Cap Moon. I am a great listener in the sense that I am listening and can recite back every detail of the story but I tend to either give suggestions or say "I'm sorry you're dealing with that" and then try to change the subject to happier things. Not because I don't care but because in my own life I tend to take the time to be in my negative emotions alone, to feel them completely, to analyze them and then to look for the silver lining, dust myself off and move forward. I tend to be uncomfortable with other people's negative emotions because my first instinct is to be completely in that feeling and if you did that with everyone's emotions you would just be a hot mess all day long (we have three teenagers, so someone is always in a bad mood). But I recognize that this is something he needs and I would like to work on it. I guess I have effectively learned to put up a wall with other people's feelings over the years and the concept of opening myself up to that seems so foreign to me now.

But you're not dealing with everyone's emotions. You're dealing with your husband's.

From an astro perspective... look to see where his moon (emotions) & mercury (communication) are in aspect to your moon/mercury/sun and then look at your progressed charts and take a look at the aspects, ask him "honey, how would you like me to listen, what would make you happy" and then explore this in your synastric and composite charts.

Ive done this with one of my partners...

His Leo mercury is in his 3rd house so he enjoys dominating the convo while in transit/traveling (driving somewhere, flying somewhere, or on a train), he opens up to me 100% and it goes deep when in transit. My 9th house mercury in Libra (also a travel house, Libra mercury likes to please and we like to listen well) and my 9th house perspective brings good balance to his 3rd house.

Or

My Libra mercury is also in wide conjunction to my pluto/mars also 9th house. I'm fascinated with the strange, plutonian themed subjects (things otherworldly, astrology, serial killers, whats really happening.. going on). My 8th house moon/venus virgo also fascinated with the strange.

In order to activate my deeper emotions, he has to bring me to "deeper knowings" and it has to start in a public place.. Example, he took me to a haunted mansion for the night. We where up all night and there was a lot of strange activity... we had such a strange and amazing time we spent all the next day talking about it in the car, we both felt so close. I was activated.

These are two examples of how you can tap into astrology for benefit.

Even if nothing in the natals hit, the composite or synastric there will be something you can intentionally play off of.

I hope this makes sense.

Dont try to "cheer him up" he prob wants to wallow in whatever the problem may be-he is your second half...without you he aint much 😉 be his safe place.

Thank you all, you've given me some things to ponder. Much appreciated!