Do cappies always mean what they say?

sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

Sometimes, sarcasm is meant just to be funny and done to tease, but a lot of times I use it to speak the truth. So which is it? Yeah, tough one hard to call. I suppose the facial expressions and body language would tell you the difference.

Posted by champranger

Posted by CrabMan13
sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

I've had that happen. I think they will usually tell you afterwards if you took seriously of something that was meant as a joke.

Also I would consider the topic at hand and consider whether or not they would joke about a topic like that.

IMO 🙂

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Yes, I've followed up several times making sure they knew I was just teasing. If I weren't teasing, I wouldn't follow up.

You usually can tell I'm teasing if I'm smirking.

Posted by CrabMan13
sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

It depends. What *exactly* did the Cappy say?

I think they mean it. Even when it's a joke, it's still meant to convey the message in a light way. If not explained that it was just a joke, they probably think you're a bit of an idiot 🙂

I think Caps don't know that sometimes they come across as very rude and condescending. It's cause A LOT of arguments between my Cap and I. 😢

My cappy its obv when its sarcasm, but im a very sarcastic person and he actually misses it most of the time. Mostly because I use it to be passive aggressive, I know bad me! Whereas he is straight to the point. I like how brutally honest they are...it refreshing and not something most other traits (inc myself) possess. He's helped me to reevaluate myself and my own traits.

it depends in what tone it's said, but if we say something serious... we definitely mean it
if it's a joke, we clear it up and mention it after if we see the other person didn't "get" the sarcasm

Posted by CrabMan13
sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

sometimes we do, sometimes we wish we said less or wish we said something better...

Posted by champranger

Posted by Aggrippina66789

Posted by CrabMan13
sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

Usually they do. Brutal brutal honesty. They do lie sometimes who doesn't? It is usually a total lie though. Brutal brutal honesty. Like no other. It's unkind and hard to take sometimes.

I've actually yet to encounter one in real life that gives me absolute brutal honesty, and yet is not pissed off lol. Not saying that Caps aren't straightforward or very direct, but usually in the face of someone they care or respect, I find they usually take care in communication to not hurt the other person.

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I don't like hurting people's feelings. Not the people I care about, anyway. I try to be honest in a nice, caring way. But sometimes, you have to be bluntly honest. It is easier for me to do through the written word than face to face, though.

I will speak up if they're doing something that bothers me. I learned with age to speak up from day one before anger and resentment build up. It's a lot easier to speak honestly in a kind way when you're not pissed off. When I'm pissed off, the words come out very blunt and very direct and very hurtful.

And I've learned with age not to express a brutally honest opinion unless asked. If asked, then the kid gloves are off and although I'm nice about it, I will give an honest answer. Sometimes, though, if I see someone hurting themselves over and over or doing more harm than good, I will share an opinion when not asked. That is done with kid gloves and as kindly as possible - more in the way of presenting another viewpoint and asking them to take emotions out, to look at things logically and to be open to some different angles than what they're currently seeing. I have to really, really, really care about them to do this. Otherwise, I don't care what they're doing to themselves.

When I was younger, I used to not say anything. Sometimes because I was afraid of rocking the boat, sometimes I would make excuses to myself for their behavior. But they kept doing it. Then, it would build and build and so much resentment that I would blow up at the most minor little thing. They'd be looking at me like WTF? Why you gettin' mad over that? Of course, what I would get mad about was not even the issue that I had, it would be something that was the final straw. One day I realized, they can't change their behavior if they don't know it bothers me.

My Sag friend even challenged me one year on my New Years Resolutions. She said I should learn to be more honest and upfront with people. Scary to do when you're afraid of rocking the boat. The first time I spoke up to someone, they were like "OMG! I didn't realize I was doing that" and they stopped. Then I felt like the respected me more after that. And you know, respect is BIG for us caps.

so, yeah with age, I learned to speak up. I"m a lot happier now. Relationships run smoother....best thing I ever learned to do.

*running off to hug a Saggy*

sorry, I forgot to answer the question....

Things I wouldn't speak up about. Hmmmm....

Anything that someone could take as an insult.
Like they sing along to headphones.
Or they forget to return a call.
They are consistently late without calling.
They waste my time.
They leave dirty dishes in the sink.
Interrupting.
Roommates leaving a mess or eating my food.
Really, just the same things that would bug you probably.

I just wouldn't let people know I did not like it or that it bugged me. Plus, I was an only child and I didn't learn confrontational skills until I was married. I think that hurt me socially, to be honest.

Posted by CrabMan13
sometimes i get confused if the cappy is just being sarcastic or brutally honest. thanks

Brutally honest with a smile.

Thats me..thnks for sharing ur story @truecap.