Emotion vs Stabilty

I am very much in love with this Capricorn man. I am a Libra Sun and a Scorpio Moon (Venus in Virgo). I'm not as airy as the stereotypical Libra, when I love....I love hard, and I take relationships very seriously (despite how indecisive the zodiac states that Libras are). He has a Sun in Cap, Scorpio Venus, and Moon in Scorpio. He was also very much in love with me but he did not see stability with me. Our chemistry was very intense. He felt that I wasn't ready for a conventional-type relationship due to my sociable and outgoing disposition and my current circumstances (I was going through a divorce, and wasn't quite sure if I ever wanted to marry again or have more children). He's a very traditional, alpha male who is set in his ways. He would like to get married in the future and wants children. (He has no children, never married).

He is currently in a relationship. She's the epitome of his 'ideal' prospect for a wife. She's a homebody, cooks, cleans, very ambitious (career-wise), and strokes his ego.

I believe that he still loves me. I could feel it. In his eyes, presence, and movements.

So my question to all you Capricorns,

Were you ever in a situation when you chose to follow your heart (emotions) with someone you did not see stability or longevity with? Did you decide to take that risk anyway? What prompted you to take that risk?

Another question,

Were you ever in s a situation when you married someone just for stability without feeling any emotional connection to them initially....but grew to love them afterwards?

I simply just had two questions for the Capricorns. I gave a back story.

Posted by librascale75

So my question to all you Capricorns,

Were you ever in a situation when you chose to follow your heart (emotions) with someone you did not see stability or longevity with? Did you decide to take that risk anyway? What prompted you to take that risk?

Another question,

Were you ever in s a situation when you married someone just for stability without feeling any emotional connection to them initially....but grew to love them afterwards?

I have not pursued him. I would never disrespect the other woman. I was just curious. I'm a Libra, I see things from a slightly different perspective.

Posted by M


Love is not black and white. You could be a special someone to him, that does not equate to someone he's going to jump ship for. If you believe he's still in love with you beyond that, it falls on him to come around. It was, after all, his decision to make the change.

Great response. So most Capricorns require both love and stability, a particular fondness for an individual isn't enough for them to jump through loopholes for if there is no stability.

This is one of those cases where head overrules heart.

For me, no matter what kind of feelings or chemistry I had with someone, if there were no stability and/or we had different goals in what we wanted from the relationship, then I would move on.

Without stability, there is no foundation. Without a foundation, there is nothing to build on.

The last thing I would ever want to do is give up my goals/dreams/ambitions for someone with no stability. There is no way I'm going to flounder emotionally, physically, financially, romantically or socially. My home life and career MUST be stable before anything else.

Posted by librascale75

Posted by M


Love is not black and white. You could be a special someone to him, that does not equate to someone he's going to jump ship for. If you believe he's still in love with you beyond that, it falls on him to come around. It was, after all, his decision to make the change.

Great response. So most Capricorns require both love and stability, a particular fondness for an individual isn't enough for them to jump through loopholes for if there is no stability.

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I'm not jumping through loopholes for anyone.

Jumping through hoops?

The only 2 people I jump through hoops for are 13 and 7 years old.

Period.

Even a Cap with Both a Venus and Moon in Scorpio?

Has anyone ever chosen there heart over there heads ever—?

Can you truly be happily full-filled with just the stability factor with no emotional connection? I would think both factors would need to be present for a well rounded healthy relationship to last

His Venus in Scorpio and Moon also says he prefers intense monogomous relationships along with his sun and moon cap and Scorpio respectively. Transits could say otherwise and progressed charts but he could be seeing if something is there with you, though from what I'm gathering he's unlikely to cheat.

Posted by librascale75
Has anyone ever chosen there heart over there heads ever—?

Yep.

Once.

An unmitigated disaster.

Never again.

Posted by librascale75
Has anyone ever chosen there heart over there heads ever—?

That describes Libras more than Caps. You guys are ruled by Venus and are in love with love. For Caps we base almost everything off logic and "common sense". I've done the heart thing a few times but it was just flings. Caps want long term stability like everyone said. Try to secretly gather info on how he feels about his current strawberry cookie. How much is he really into her. That's a starting point.

Posted by frostey91
His Venus in Scorpio and Moon also says he prefers intense monogomous relationships along with his sun and moon cap and Scorpio respectively. Transits could say otherwise and progressed charts but he could be seeing if something is there with you, though from what I'm gathering he's unlikely to cheat.

Can you elaborate, I'm not sure what it is your trying to say

1. He's unlikely to deviate from his relationship easily unless you're the better option.

2. To see if you are the better option ask how things are going between him and his woman. He might come off a little protective given his Scorpio placements but his Capricorn traits says he's willing to tell you a little. The best way to figure things out is to hear it from the horse's mouth.

Also mostly with the statement u were referring to his placements in his birth chart don't tell the whole story. Progressed charts are how the planets have moved since birth and how they affect personality makeup now rather than broader tendencies of the birth chart.

Posted by librascale75
Even a Cap with Both a Venus and Moon in Scorpio?

I believe these placements would make a cap more shrewd and less willing to jump through hoops. I have venus in scorpio and I protect my heart like a banshee. It takes a whole lot for me to give into a relationship. Once I do, it's permanent, but everything has to be right and in place to even get to that point. I am very cautious and discerning with whom I give my heart to. Like I said, if there is no stability, there is no chance I'm turning that intense venus loose.

I think the scorpio moon is more suspicious and more shrewd than most, but I don't have that moon.

Posted by frostey91

Posted by librascale75
Has anyone ever chosen there heart over there heads ever—?

That describes Libras more than Caps. You guys are ruled by Venus and are in love with love. For Caps we base almost everything off logic and "common sense". I've done the heart thing a few times but it was just flings. Caps want long term stability like everyone said. Try to secretly gather info on how he feels about his current strawberry cookie. How much is he really into her. That's a starting point.

click to expand

I am in love with being in love, lol, but because of my moon in Scorpio I love hard and long and I don't cheat as well. I take betrayal very seriously so I don't fall in love often. We share common friends, and as I hear it, although there engaged, he will not set a date, she wants children now, and he's telling her that he's not ready to have children.

Posted by librascale75
Has anyone ever chosen there heart over there heads ever—?

Once when I was very young. Bit me in the ass. Hard lesson learned.

Posted by librascale75
Can you truly be happily full-filled with just the stability factor with no emotional connection? I would think both factors would need to be present for a well rounded healthy relationship to last

Why are you assuming he has no emotional connection to this woman?

But, yes, we need both. BOTH. Not one or the other.

Posted by librascale75

Posted by frostey91
His Venus in Scorpio and Moon also says he prefers intense monogomous relationships along with his sun and moon cap and Scorpio respectively. Transits could say otherwise and progressed charts but he could be seeing if something is there with you, though from what I'm gathering he's unlikely to cheat.

Can you elaborate, I'm not sure what it is your trying to say

click to expand

That was saying based on his charts he wants intense monogomy with whomever. I also said that could be altered based on transits where the planets are now I'm relationship to his birth chart. Transits basically can strengthen and weaken tendencies in a persons chart making them more likely to act a certain way for a period of time based on how slow the planet is. Fast planet mercury...slow planet Pluto... Pluto Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, transits along with Jupiter last around a year or more.

Posted by librascale75

Posted by frostey91
His Venus in Scorpio and Moon also says he prefers intense monogomous relationships along with his sun and moon cap and Scorpio respectively. Transits could say otherwise and progressed charts but he could be seeing if something is there with you, though from what I'm gathering he's unlikely to cheat.

Can you elaborate, I'm not sure what it is your trying to say

click to expand

That was saying based on his charts he wants intense monogomy with whomever. I also said that could be altered based on transits where the planets are now I'm relationship to his birth chart. Transits basically can strengthen and weaken tendencies in a persons chart making them more likely to act a certain way for a period of time based on how slow the planet is. Fast planet mercury...slow planet Pluto... Pluto Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, transits along with Jupiter last around a year or more.

Posted by truecap

Posted by librascale75
Even a Cap with Both a Venus and Moon in Scorpio?

I believe these placements would make a cap more shrewd and less willing to jump through hoops. I have venus in scorpio and I protect my heart like a banshee. It takes a whole lot for me to give into a relationship. Once I do, it's permanent, but everything has to be right and in place to even get to that point. I am very cautious and discerning with whom I give my heart to. Like I said, if there is no stability, there is no chance I'm turning that intense venus loose.

I think the scorpio moon is more suspicious and more shrewd than most, but I don't have that moon.

click to expand

I didn't think about it that way. That does make sense. I have a moon in Scorpio myself so I know that feeling very well.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

So what is this about then? You guys have the same approach to relationships basically you really have feelings for him and he does dmfor you but his hands are tied your only hope is to gather small bits on the functionality of the relationship. He's almost 40 at this point he doesn't want any relationships unless they are super worth it.

if she's an EASY lay, she's already DOOMED.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

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And he's about to get married and likely have kids we almost have Kitten LaRouge part too but this one is more genuine. She's just stuck.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

click to expand

She never said she was going after him.

I have the impression she's just wanting answers. She said she still loves him and believes he loved her, but is having a hard time with why he broke up with her. Nothing wrong with exploring reasons and thought processes so she can understand and move on.

Posted by lisabethur8
if she's an EASY lay, she's already DOOMED.

Lol true. Let's play nice kiddies.

Posted by champranger

Posted by librascale75

I am in love with being in love, lol, but because of my moon in Scorpio I love hard and long and I don't cheat as well.

What happens when the novelty wears off?

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The same degree of love I have is the same degree of stability I require (due to my venus in virgo)
I need both love and stability to feel totally secure in my relationships, I can not do one without the other.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

click to expand

Actually, since he's been with her I haven't pursued him at all. I have respect for all relationship and would never do anything I would not want done to me. I'm speaking of a time when we were together, I still have romantic feeling for him I wont lie about that, but that's my burden to bear not for me to implement on anyone who is no longer available to me.

i can already tell he's made up his mind, he likes the other one better. he has chosen, but he doesn't want to hurt his woman's feelings.

alot of men don't want to hurt women's feelings, but sometimes they have to.

because many women won't let up. They have imagined dreams and high aspirations and ambitions of love, and it's all deluded at times. If there is NO honesty, in telling it straight, then the dreams will continue and the delusions will keep going.

Every look, every glance, will be construed as "deep, motivational -- seeking deeply for love, there lies the well of emotion deep within him, and it's there, she feels it so stark and strong..." but in truth, the feeling is only coming from her. 😢

Posted by lisabethur8
i can already tell he's made up his mind, he likes the other one better. he has chosen, but he doesn't want to hurt his woman's feelings.

alot of men don't want to hurt women's feelings, but sometimes they have to.

because many women won't let up. They have imagined dreams and high aspirations and ambitions of love, and it's all deluded at times. If there is NO honesty, in telling it straight, then the dreams will continue and the delusions will keep going.

Every look, every glance, will be construed as "deep, motivational -- seeking deeply for love, there lies the well of emotion deep within him, and it's there, she feels it so stark and strong..." but in truth, the feeling is only coming from her. 😢

This plus damn near infinite. Right on point. I feel he has feelings for her too just not enough to disrespect his current woman.

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

She never said she was going after him.

I have the impression she's just wanting answers. She said she still loves him and believes he loved her, but is having a hard time with why he broke up with her. Nothing wrong with exploring reasons and thought processes so she can understand and move on.

click to expand

Omg, thank you that's all I was trying to do. This is my first time on the site, and maybe I'm not articulating myslef well enough. I'm not here to ruin anyone situation, I have to stress that.

Posted by frostey91

Posted by lisabethur8
i can already tell he's made up his mind, he likes the other one better. he has chosen, but he doesn't want to hurt his woman's feelings.

alot of men don't want to hurt women's feelings, but sometimes they have to.

because many women won't let up. They have imagined dreams and high aspirations and ambitions of love, and it's all deluded at times. If there is NO honesty, in telling it straight, then the dreams will continue and the delusions will keep going.

Every look, every glance, will be construed as "deep, motivational -- seeking deeply for love, there lies the well of emotion deep within him, and it's there, she feels it so stark and strong..." but in truth, the feeling is only coming from her. 😢

This plus damn near infinite. Right on point. I feel he has feelings for her too just not enough to disrespect his current woman.

click to expand

i don't think you get my meaning.

he has chosen, but he don't want this one. (the OP) because if he did, he'd take her already.

He doesn't give a damn about the OP to be honest. He just is too damn polite, which i hate.

if he's too polite to turn her down while he's with another woman it makes me hate on those types of men. I can't stand them. He needs to tell her to GTFO of his life.

i can't stand men who STRING women along. pisses me the hell off. Ugh.
Already a huge turn off. The first turn off was already he is in a relationship. Gross. then the 2nd?

he can't be strong enough to tell her to get lost.

Posted by librascale75

Posted by truecap

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
why are you torturing yourself? He's in a relationship already.

This. +100


Are you NOT ashamed of yourself going after a TAKEN man?

I've NEVER been attracted to men who are taken at all!! they've already been broken up by the time I got around to knowing them.

who the hell cares what placement he has. If you have to grovel over a taken man, it will destroy you.

Talk about rose-coloured glasses. (smh)

She never said she was going after him.

I have the impression she's just wanting answers. She said she still loves him and believes he loved her, but is having a hard time with why he broke up with her. Nothing wrong with exploring reasons and thought processes so she can understand and move on.

Omg, thank you that's all I was trying to do. This is my first time on the site, and maybe I'm not articulating myslef well enough. I'm not here to ruin anyone situation, I have to stress that.

click to expand

DXP is a very presumptuous place. Hope you strapped on your seat belt! lol

Posted by frostey91

Posted by lisabethur8
i can already tell he's made up his mind, he likes the other one better. he has chosen, but he doesn't want to hurt his woman's feelings.

alot of men don't want to hurt women's feelings, but sometimes they have to.

because many women won't let up. They have imagined dreams and high aspirations and ambitions of love, and it's all deluded at times. If there is NO honesty, in telling it straight, then the dreams will continue and the delusions will keep going.

Every look, every glance, will be construed as "deep, motivational -- seeking deeply for love, there lies the well of emotion deep within him, and it's there, she feels it so stark and strong..." but in truth, the feeling is only coming from her. 😢

This plus damn near infinite. Right on point. I feel he has feelings for her too just not enough to disrespect his current woman.

click to expand

I have never pursued him since his choice, I honestly just had question about how he came to make that choice. I felt like who would better explain things to me then fellow cappies.

Thank you for the cappies who are actually answering my questions with out unrelated funky comments, I really do appreciate it. It sheds light on a lot questions that I felt were left unanswered

The only reason why I presumed that there were no emotional connection there is because, they have been engaged for the last two years and a date has not been established, also when we were together he waned to have a baby and as per FB, every time she mentions anything about a baby he shuts her down. If that is a wrong assumption my apologies. Clearly the mind of a cappie is something I'm a little foreign to. Only questions people, nothing more nothing less

To Twirling Strawberry and Lisabethur--

Librascales is my sister and I can assure you she's not a man-stealer, lol. I know this personally. My sister and the Capricorn were very much in love when they were in a relationship. She was going through a divorce at the time (her and her soon-to-be husband were together for 17 years since HS). She was quite truthful about her long term objectives. She doesn't mince words. She didn't want to get married again or have any more children. The Cap, however, was never married and wanted to have children. The both of them were simply on two separate paths. He's building at one relationship....and she's exiting an old one.

Divorces can be quite stressful.

He opted to move on to someone who had similar objectives in regards to family, career and children.

Being an earth sign myself, I understood where he was coming from. My sister and I had a number of conversations regarding this Cappie. I was actually the one who persuaded her to post this topic. I may be an earth sign, but I'm still not a Capricorn. I felt the closure and unanswered questions she needed would be better served on this board.

My sister wears her heart on her sleeves. Frost was right. She is in love with being in love, but I can assure you, she doesn't have a deceptive bone in her body. She has been with the same man since HS.

She just needed some answers. I hope this was helpful.

Thanks sis, this is truly a rough crowd, with the exception of TruCap, my lord

LOL

I don't articulate myself well under pressure, thank god my sister always have my back in regards to things like this. The ever so grounded Taurus :-)

Posted by librascale75


So my question to all you Capricorns,

Were you ever in a situation when you chose to follow your heart (emotions) with someone you did not see stability or longevity with? Did you decide to take that risk anyway? What prompted you to take that risk?

Another question,

Were you ever in s a situation when you married someone just for stability without feeling any emotional connection to them initially....but grew to love them afterwards?

y

Good question! Been with a Cap fwb for 9 months, hopefully my experience will help you.

Cap men do not normally go for a person that does not have "potential" to turn into more!

For example, if they have built a life with the person first for whatever reason (that person has a good career, they seem to get along fine, have mutual friends, etc.), he may want to pursue love.

Vice versa...if he loves that person, he will want to build a great life...see what I mean..?
They kind of want it all, and will work hard at it 🙂

Yes, he has followed his heart when he saw some potential. No, he has not grown to love the person afterwards.
I had a conversation with him this weekend that he should not do that anymore because he has ended up hurting people as a result. He agreed and said he shouldn't have to want to change the person he's with so much, or the other way around because that means they are wrong for each other.

Yes, he has taken big risks in love, but very very rare. If you want more details, feel free to PM me.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
it's deflection if she hasn't resolved her own issues concerning her own divorce....which could threaten to meddle in his very content (and seemingly happy) personal life.

I can assure you she hasn't meddled. If she even considered going that route, she knows I would be the first individual to give her a moral speech whether she wanted to hear it or not.

He's actually the first guy she developed sincere feelings for since her soon to be ex-husband. She fell out of love with her soon to be ex-husband a long time ago. That chapter is already close. The stress didn't stem from a broken love, but a broken family. Her children are still adjusting.

I think writing and expressing yourself is one of the first stages of healing. This is why I insisted she create a topic on this board.

Personally, I believe in finding my own closure. But my sister and I are two different people. This thread is her first step to closure. Finding answers. That's all it is, no hidden pun or agenda attempted.

Posted by tiziani
At the end of the day a man is going to chose ideal security over emotion/one type of "love". Like the Cap said earlier, watch Match Point. It's a good film.

that is simply NOT true. i know this for a fact watching my two capricorn uncles since i was a child.

One of them went for a woman all the family didn't want him to, and he said FUCK YOU pretty much.

her background was not stable, she was very unstable, everything his parents told and warned him about.

The other one married well, and she's a good housewife, mother, ect.

no problems. No qualms about anything from family.

He was very EMOTIONAL about love.

you can't know every capricorn male, and PRESUME just by reading astrology and astrologers take on it.

I fucking hate how some people PRESUME alot about sun sign alone. Pisses me the FUCK off.

just because some libra in here wants a cap man....sorry he don't want your ass!!!

if he did, you wouldn't be here crying and moping about it.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
it's deflection if she hasn't resolved her own issues concerning her own divorce....which could threaten to meddle in his very content (and seemingly happy) personal life.

I can assure you she hasn't meddled. If she even considered going that route, she knows I would be the first individual to give her a moral speech whether she wanted to hear it or not.

He's actually the first guy she developed sincere feelings for since her soon to be ex-husband. She fell out of love with her soon to be ex-husband a long time ago. That chapter is already close. The stress didn't stem from a broken love, but a broken family. Her children are still adjusting.

I think writing and expressing yourself is one of the first stages of healing. This is why I insisted she create a topic on this board.

Personally, I believe in finding my own closure. But my sister and I are two different people. This thread is her first step to closure. Finding answers. That's all it is, no hidden pun or agenda attempted.

click to expand

and i can't believe you are encouraging this. *smh*

if you were my sister and wanted some man who was in a relationship, i'd tell you ....girl, what the hell is WRONG with you?? he's GONE. GOT IT? GONE. search for someone else.

plus she fell out of love from her ex husband ...jesus christ...i hate those types. Did he beat her up? cheat on her continously?? I hate those types...that down the road, 20 -- 30 years from now, they're gonna fall out of love.

shit. What the fuck man. If you are gonna do that, don't marry!

it was hard to stop loving my alcoholic, drug addict, ex-con, still in prison ex husband. very hard. even with all his cheating continously...i still loved him. you NEVER stop loving. no matter what.
that love just turns to hate.
then when finally you heal, you can love again. and make better choices.

you can NEVER NEVER find security with those types of people....

that ONCE you get into marriage or contract with them in love, they will LEAVE YOUR ASS down the road....cause they FELL OUT OF LOVE from you..

DISGUSTING.

Posted by SunMoonStars

Posted by librascale75


So my question to all you Capricorns,

Were you ever in a situation when you chose to follow your heart (emotions) with someone you did not see stability or longevity with? Did you decide to take that risk anyway? What prompted you to take that risk?

Another question,

Were you ever in s a situation when you married someone just for stability without feeling any emotional connection to them initially....but grew to love them afterwards?

y

Good question! Been with a Cap fwb for 9 months, hopefully my experience will help you.

Cap men do not normally go for a person that does not have "potential" to turn into more!

For example, if they have built a life with the person first for whatever reason (that person has a good career, they seem to get along fine, have mutual friends, etc.), he may want to pursue love.

Vice versa...if he loves that person, he will want to build a great life...see what I mean..?
They kind of want it all, and will work hard at it 🙂

Yes, he has followed his heart when he saw some potential. No, he has not grown to love the person afterwards.
I had a conversation with him this weekend that he should not do that anymore because he has ended up hurting people as a result. He agreed and said he shouldn't have to want to change the person he's with so much, or the other way around because that means they are wrong for each other.

Yes, he has taken big risks in love, but very very rare. If you want more details, feel free to PM me.

click to expand

Thank you for that. I know he made a choice and the choice was not me, that is hurtful in itself, but to not know why that choice was made was a closure that I was denied and that is torturous so I really appreciate your response