First date with Capricorn Man...

This has been a year long quest to get a date with this man and it is finally here...I think! Short version. Moved back to NH, going through a divorce, Capricorn man is my electrician. Immediate attraction - talk for hours, very easy. He asked my mom millions of questions. I threw it out there I would be interested. Got shot down..."I haven't dated in 5 years - not interested, not a good experience". I left it alone but we texted back and forth about life and kids and talked of having our kids go sledding, etc.

Here we are. I get a text about coming over to show me a online game we had discussed. I said great! Our kids can play and he can teach me the game. His reply..."kids too distracting, I will have a sitter for the girls and maybe your mom can watch your kids". Alrighty then!

He is a great guy, own business, divorced 5 years, 2 great kids, great dad, fun, sweet, sarcastic - perfect for me. How do I now scare him off and how do I earn that second date?

He has mentioned past dates failed b/c they were too independent and how he is traditional at heart and that is so me. I am making him dinner, a small cake to give him for a belated birthday, dressing demurely...any advise would be great. I know he thinks I am funny and smart and pretty - has come right out and told me. Loves that I am creative and always wants to know what my next project is. Always makes a point to say hi if he is in my area or runs into me...so there must be something there!

I KNOW he will be a gentleman and this isn't a ploy to get me along and jump me - just not him. He is truly coming over to show me this game but I also know this is my in and he is testing the waters!

He is 44 two small girls. I am 47 a small boy and girl (both think he is great). I am a Scorpio - very much a Scorpio. How do I win the heart of a man like him! I don't want to be too forward but I do want him to know I am interested. How do I make this tutorial into more of a date?

Any advice would be appreciated.

You're on the right track. Keep doing what you're doing! Be yourself and don't worry.

Keep us posted on how it went!

So the night went well - we had a great time and he was at my house for 6 hours. He taught me WOW and we had a blast and he asked me to his house next week to play again. We had a great time but no kiss at the end of the night...grrrr. I know he likes me, I caught him staring at me a few times and we sat right next to one another and he had his hand on mine to show me how to use the mouse but that was the extent of any contact. He did say he was happy that I liked the game because "if I were to ever meet someone I want her to understand what I do". I think that was his way of saying, "I like you but if you have to be okay with my playing this game...and I am glad that you are liking it so maybe we are a good fit". But I am a sappy romantic and maybe I am looking for an in! Definitely confused but I have my fingers crossed. I know Capricorn men move slowly but geez! He is 44 and I am 47 and time is running out! LOL

He is taking his sweet time or he's waiting for you to make the move. He likes you though. You are still young, time is not running out LOL. Enjoy the moments leading to that beautiful first kiss.

Yes, I agree with them! Take it slow. After divorce, it's best to take it slow and make sure of each other before rushing in, especially since kids are involved inadvertently. If it makes you feel better, I didn't get a kiss from my aqua until the 4th date.

Well he finally texted me yesterday asking why I haven't texted him all week and if we were still on for Saturday...so now I am at 'date' two, this time at his house....any advice—? How do I find out if I am just a fresh recruit into the gaming world or more than that? Patience is a virtue I do not have!

Be yourself, relax, get a nice massage if you have the time to do it to help you feel calm and confident. Since you asked for advice, my advice would be ditch the anxious vibe, anxiousness comes across as being insecure, being insecure reeks of desperate energy and once a male (especially a man that is already touchy about dating) sniff that out he's back pedaling his way out and away from you so RELAX, meditate for 5 minutes, think happy thoughts, say to yourself I'm what he wants, I'm good enough and he's lucky to have me in his presence, the only thing you have to do at this point is relax.

Also lower your expectations, dating doesn't mean it'll lead into something, he could be getting his legs wet, he could be breaking up the boredom in his life, he could want marriage, we don't know so until you do know it's best to let him lead you into it and then you can decide if you like where he's leading you.

Seems you've built up this IDEA about who he is through all that text messaging etc and your level of expectations seem high, well text messaging isn't actually real and can paint a broad sometimes false point of view about a person, we use our minds to make it up when using technology to communicate so with that being said, move away from who you think he is and just get to know him.

It's nice and it's easy getting to know a person via text but a person can be anyone via text so try to put aside who you think he is as a person and really get to know him face to face one on one b/c Cap males have fierce dark sides as well and right now all you've mentioned is the good but the bad stuff will follow and he'll want to know if you can handle his dark side, he may be what you want or he may not be what you want this is how you have to think about it to stay balanced and secure, let him show you if he's worth your energy and time and that takes time so be patient.

Text messaging for a year appears romantic but something is off about that kind of behavior...Live in the same city, no dates in between, plays games likes he's 20, this behavior seems familiar to me, I'm guessing he's emotionally unavailable or a commitmentphobic man, be careful, don't rush and pay attention.

Well date #2 was just as great as date #1. Got there at 6 and left at 130. Night flew by - lots of talking and laughing and just a really nice night - already have plans again for next Saturday night.

He asked alot of questions about my impending divorce and a male FRIEND that was visiting and that he met. Asked about my kids and we talked about parenting and he kept saying things like - you handle your kids like I handle mine, etc. Seemed he wanted to know more about me.

Sat side by side on the sofa and there was alot of friendly touches for good job or touch this key and this key to do this, etc.

Apologized all night for being socially inept and hoped I was having a good time and I assured him he was a great host and I was having a great time. Had no idea it had gotten so late and I apologized and he just laughed and said he didn't mind at all and he didn't notice the time either and to please not feel that I had to rush out. Did leave with a hug that I instigated and that he accepted readily.

I feel like a fool reading all the small signs but right now that is all I have!

Trying my best to take it slowly and let him lead...which is not easy for this Scorpio!

Sounds like you're well on your way!!!!!

*jumps up and down with squeels and hugs*

Whew! Exhausted now with all the jumping!

🙂

Sounds crazy but he really likes you. Don't worry, it will be great once it gets moving. Just enjoy it for what it is...

Awwwww, he sent me a text message saying that he felt badly about sending me out into the night so late but he was concerned for my reputation. Invited me over earlier this week and is making me dinner. He is definitely a great guy and I will be patient but it is DAMN HARD!!!!

You, my dear, have found a winner!!!!!

Not many men care about women's reputation anymore. It's awesome to find a guy that wants to protect you like that!

He is a keeper and I told him that today and he texted me a bunch of happy faces. I am supposed to see him Saturday but we are due for a killer storm....already mourning the possibility of not being able to see him. I desperately want to move things along just to find out if he is really interested.

You've got him girl. Now, just be patient!!!

(I know how hard it is! Mr. Aqua tests mine all the time. lol!)

Well our blizzard arrived and I asked if he wanted to cancel and he said "No way!, I will come and get you!" Even after I said it wasn't necessary - storm will have passed by then, NH does a great job of clearing the roads and I have a Jeep he still said "NO, I want you safe so I will come and get you."

I will let everyone know how it goes but so far so good!"

Thats sweet!

So confused...but what is new. Had another incredible night - he made me dinner, played World of Warcraft, talked, laughed, just had such a great time. I didn't leave until 2 and he kept saying that don't feel I am rushing you out! BUT during the night he went into a speal about relationships and how he is comfortable now - happy. Not having to worry about someone else effecting his happiness..... Said "I hope I didn't piss you off" and I just shook my head and told him he was being ridiculous and to just relax. I did ask him if he realized that most of the general population would consider our Saturday nights 'dates' and he agreed. Asked about this week and I said that I was going to AC for a wedding...but plans got cancelled unfortunately mid week. He sent me a text Wed saying hi and that he was in CT helping his brother and he hoped I was having a nice week. I texted back saying hi and BTW - not going to AC. He said too bad...he traded his days to go help his brother and would have his daughter's this weekend but definitely next...totally bummed 😢.

Sent another text asking if his whole relationship conversation was his way of telling me to back off...lay off the hugs and I got no reply...until the next day. "Happy Valentine's Day Krista 🙂"

What gives?!?!?

Sounds like he sees you as a friend for now? Any kissing or touching or anything??

He may be just evaluating where he is and what he wants. It's normal for caps to do that. It's not a bad thing, its just a neutral thing and very necessary for our well being.

I think he likes you, really likes you, but he is at the point of asking himself if he is ready for a relationship. It's not about you. It's about his being ready. He is happy - he's figuring out why. Is it time healed the wounds? or is it because of you? he's back on his feet? finally over the divorce? etc. He'll figure out on his own its most likely because you make him happy. Give him space to figure that out.

The text you sent was fine - you need to know where you stand. His response, as a no response is not a bad thing! Truth is, he's probably not sure. Just don't push it. Keep being you. Don't change anything you're doing. Let him lead the way and go along with his flow.

I think he's leaning towards an official relationship with you. You're probably the first woman he's this comfortable with and has fun with and is attracted to, so it could have caught him by surprise. He just needs to adjust and get comfortable with the idea.

Please, be patient. How you handle this will determine how this plays out. Just keep being you. Be mature, understanding, non-pushy, patient. It's not going to be easy.

*shhhh*
*whispers* - I still have these evaluation thought processes going on occasionally about the aqua and its been almost a year. I don't let it stop me from the relationship, though, it's all internal.

When I said give him space, I don't mean back off. I mean don't pressure him, don't ask him, don't distance yourself. Just keep the same. If you contact him every day, keep doing it unless you get an indication that he is acting different.