How do you handle bullies?

I am curious as to how the rest of the Caps handle bullies.

I will not give in and refuse to bow to them. I will call them on their bluff, which is usually hot air and nothing happens. If they try to follow through, then I think of the options and try my best to be prepared and have a couple of back up plans.

Harder to do when your ex-husband is trying to use your son to bully you with.

personal bully problem never had it one look and they know they have the wrong chick

relationships sad to say 'll like u hang your self and f u back me up too much if lke i get hotheaded and snap i really dont like that.

mess with people i love ahh whole new ball game i will end you

I have never had a problem with bullies before either. Most people can sense that I won't play.

Until going through a divorce with a Gem. He has threatened to have me arrested (with no grounds), charge me with slander (common gossip I didn't start), to use this and that against me, etc. He imagines a lot of things that are not true. I never once backed down! Called his bluff every time. Nothing ever came out of it.

Now he is trying to draw my son into the middle and THAT is NOT acceptable. I am definitely trying to keep my son out of it (his happiness is worth everything), but to do so I will have to give in to the ex, who is making ridiculous demands. And has told my son that if I don't agree, then I don't love him. My son is 15 and knows better.

thats really low and weak to bring a child into the mix. call his bluff and give him enough rope to hand himself people like that tend to trip over themselves and you son will be observing too and the childish behavior wont fly.

dont they know children esp boys are more clinged to there mothers smh the fool

I guess I got another weed! hahaha! Yep, he is just like that Elusive. Give an inch, he takes a mile. Also, he is always contradicting himself. Plus, his girlfriend is a very manipulative Virgo. They make quite a team.

I don't like putting that kind of personal business on here, but I am really fustrated and he is driving me crazy. I have stood up to them thus far. Just don't know if I can continue to do it now that my son is unhappily involved.

Jhene - yep, my teenage son sees all of it. He's the true victim. He is very smart and observative. He notices. My 19 yo daughter has stepped away and won't have anything to do with her dad. Lucky her! 🙂

In reality, it is really sad how he is ruining the relationships with his children.

Posted by ElusiveSoul
Sorry guys , I always have to give my unsolicited opinion tho I'm no cap, but I couldn't resist after truecap mentioning her x is a Gemini. With all due respect to Geminis ( but the one I had dealt with in the past) was the worst case manipulator. If caps or scorps do it, it's with class and style , but boy oh boy, this man drove me almost to the insane asylum.
My only suggestion here is, if your x is anything like the one I knew??_..keep your eyes open 24/7. Indeed, most of the stuff is hot air, but don't underestimate them. They are quick. Since I don't have any kids, I honestly have no constructive suggestions as of how to deal with such situation, but ether way, under no circumstances show him you will give into his demands. If you give him a finger, he??ll try to take your whole arm??_..my personal experience. Again there is weeds in every corn grown, I just got lucky to pick the weed. Best of luck truecap!

"Indeed, most of the stuff is hot air, but don't underestimate them."

Yep! That's what I said before, do not underestimate him. There is no "low" in his mind, and he'll stoop to whatever level to get his desired outcome. They are VERY quick mentally.

I know as Cap, we are wired a bit differently. We actually have limits. In saying that, I'm not sure what you should do, especially since your son is involved. Just make sure that whatever you do you cover your behind so you'll have minimal regrets. At the end of the day, there is a right/wrong, and as long as your fight is right you will be okay. I wouldn't give in, or even appear to, nor should you let him take you out of character. Let him continue to expose his depths of evil lol, so karma can chase him in the end.

@ElusiveSoul, that's interesting that being passive aggressive drove him crazy lol. Passive aggressive behavior drives me crazy too, but I would have thought a Gemini would have a way around or through that. That's good you getting him!

I am 6 foot 4 inch 16 stone
how do you think I do it?

Posted by ElusiveSoul
I later on realized that his whole agenda was to get me to the point where I would do something inappropriate.

Yes! I have noticed when he calls and accuses me of things, he is trying to get me to "tell on myself" in my defense. I have just learned to keep my mouth shut (difficult for outspoken me) and take notes so I can come back later and counter act his accusations. Then I would say "if you think thats what you need to do, then that is your decision". He gets madder, but it irritates both of them not to get a rise out of me. They think I'm being weak, but it does work.

@ Inana:
I remember you saying that before. Keeping calm works too. But geesh! Good point about the karma thing, wish I could be driving that bus when it comes to town! lol!

Hey Tate! Wanna come to Texas? I could use a 6'4" 16 stone Intimidator! :p

you too are split right why in the world is he calling so much?

all calls and contact should be limited unless its important otherwise dial tone for his ass, he needs to grow up get a life and some bigger balls

I will tell him, I'm not discussing this and hang up. If I ignore his calls, he will text asking me to call him about our son. Then it starts into an arguement. So now, I usually do ignore his calls unless my son is with him.

Not evil, Elusive! Just a taste of their own medicine!

Then again, it is funny to see them shiver when the meds go down! lol!

Life and everything that bullshits in it is very simple put your foot down.

Well, yall. I feel a lot better. I have been and will continue to call the bluff. Won't give in. Thanks for all the responses and support!

Believe it or not I have steped in when the BULLY was a real wanger
in a pub 3 real punks were picking on a lad with a very fine Bird.
I guess they thought they were impressing her.
I spoke up and ask them to leave the lad alone.
Then I told them to leave him alone
They reminded me that it was 3 to one
My comment:
Right the alley is out that door lets see who walks back in.
The Barman said he had my back
they left.
We had a drink and a good HA HA over it.
fucking punks.

3 to 1 and they are the ones who should be scared. Funny I had a two to one thing happen and they took the same route. I really hate when people run. -.-

If its something that I feel intrudes onto my rights, I'll fight tooth and nail, VERY stubbornly. If it's something I consider irrelevant bullying, aka a sly comment born out of insecurity, I'll just ignore it. No one needs to see me sweat.

I am pisces with Gemini Ascendant, I have been bullied in the past and I just hate bullies and injustice arround it.

Nowadays, If they are trying to get me I ignore them if I can.

But when they are doing bad to my family or friends, they better go away since they will be brain dead.

Sometimes I cant act because my family can be hurt, I can defend myself but if they are catched in the middle I cant forgive myself.

So ignore if you can and move on. Try to get some proves of what he is doing.

Posted by ElusiveSoul
YUP??_..gems are very quick intellectually, and what worked to my advantage is that at the point of time I implemented my passive aggressive strategy, I was emotionally done with him, but I made it my soul purpose to drive him insane as he did to me with the least amount of effort and energy on my behalf ( evil evil pisces lol).

I??ll try to keep the astrology aspect out of it as much as possible, however, what I believe truly helped me is that both gems and fish are mutable signs. As someone in pisces board had mentioned??_.??ya can't bullshit a bullshiter??-if I choose that rout!!

Since there are moral limits to how low I will go, passive aggressive or mirroring is pisces weapon of choice. Never giving away information that may incriminate you in a slightest. Occasional —dear in the headlight?? confuses them. Always interchanging your techniques leaving them confused. PATIENCE!!!!!

Observe and look for his Achilles heel??_usually people's biggest strength can be their biggest downfall. They hardly count on people attacking them what they feel its their biggest strengths (called ignorance).
Never, ever, ever let him know your true emotions and your thoughts??_..he wants a game, then give him something to play with.

God, I sound so eveil right now, but some people deserve it...

I have seen pisces handle geminis way better than I do. I think pisces can also relay the point over and over which I just don't want to do. So I agree with a lot of what you said. Caps just want to know where it's going to lead and that's the problem, we don't like doing the petty crap 'cause literaly what's the point,but that doesn't always work.

In the past I handled bullies with some aggression and then coldness as if they don't exist. I also try to establish something that they don't have, so if someone don't have integrity, there's an opportunity. If integrity comes easy to me, but they don't seem to have then I can capitalize on that.

I'm usually indifferent until it becomes repetitive and really gets to me, then I throw it back in their face. Bullies in my opinion are actually cowards trying to hide how little they know and end up becoming submissive to those who challenge them back. In all of my experience with people, this has always been the case.

I've been bullied very badly. You'd be surprised who becomes a bully. Mostly I left that school/ work/place. I know its what they wanted but I take comfort that they are living in their own private hell to turn out that way. Amazes me that most bullys are religious nuts.