How to not wallow in anger?

I'm so upset at my sister right now. It's my little nieces birthday today, so my sister cooks up all the food that my mother(who recently lost her job) bought, and she's eating along with the rest of my family while my mother is out at the store. It may seem like I'm up here furious at nothing, but my sister looks out for everyone else but my mother and I. She know good and well, if this was a birthday party, or anything else, at my families house, they WOULD NOT at all start eating if one of their immediate family members were not there. My sister didn't put in a dime towards any of this, yet she doesn't have enough sense to think *let me at-least wait until my mother gets back from the store* It's about 10 people down there, and greedy as my family is, everything will be gone in a few seconds. I'm trying to cool down and not put a damper on my nieces party, but I'm highly irritated. I'm upstairs and my sister didn't even call me and let me know the food was ready. Let everyone just chow down, and not at all concerned about my mother and I.

I know this all may sound petty, but it's years and years of built up frustration with her looking out for people who doesn't have her best interest, and literally screwing over those who do. I don't get it!!

Posted by AeGiCap
it's healthy to vent, nothing wrong with that, it's way better than holding the anger inside of you. I know how family can get too, people get double plates/portions of everything before others have even gotten their first helping! lol. If you can and there's food left, try and put aside a plate of food for your Mom until she gets back. If anyone gets in the way...well you're a Cap, you know what to do, a few choice words and a drop kick if they get haughty🙂

Ain't that the truth, and my family will fix plates to take home, then fix extra plates for their significant others etc. I go to their houses and be as respectful and polite as possible, making sure to cause no type of tension because I know how they'll become if the shoe is on the other foot. I'm trying not to burst out of the seams lol, but thanks for your reply because I feel better already. Now if all of my root beer soda is gone then I'm gonna be back with another paragraph and maybe a not so good ending. We'll see lol.

Posted by Strider
Throw her cell phone in the garbage can .

LoL! I'm not trying to be out here fighting now. I've calmed down a little, but my mother just told me it was rude of us. I quickly told her the deal. That I was not involved in any way in that. I'm going to go out and try to enjoy everyone now that I've calmed down a bit.

Selfish people have a great inherent desire to control situations and people. Her behaviour sounds like it must be rewarding for her in some way.

Inana It sounds like she just doesnt think much.

Theres two possibilities
1: shes either aware that shes gonna upset people and thinks ..well screw them Im gonna do things my way.
2: or she doesnt realise its going to upset people because she doesnt think a lot

Tha mistake she made ..I could of made it but I care deeply about my mum. Im just brain dead. I could have been so focused on how its about the kids I forgot about the adults completely.

Its hard to try to change relatives because if you point out a fault and they take offence it can take a long time to repair the damage. My advice is to set a good example. When your with her and doing considerate things...verbalise it and some of that energy might rub off on her. For example when i goto a cafe sometimes I clear thetable if the staff are busy and say outloud to my friends at the table..........lets make it so someone else can sit down or lets make it nice for the next person. beyond that Id leave it be. Along with a few comments about how awesome your mum is and reminder about mothers day etc or saying hey wanna do something nice for mum together?

ps Im a capricorn and that would be my goaty strategy rather than a confrontation. My confrontations are results orientated not emotional because Im ambitious and success is the priority over emotional expression. So I put my feelings aside and make a straightforward down to earthj strategy that logically will work and will not backfire. Then I apply it stubbornly over a long period like a donkey that wont budge 😛

probably I would have told her to make up a plate for mum and how awful it would be if mum didnt get any..as a calm observation rather than a criticism so she thought its just a brainwave rather than your angry or judging. but if it makes her think mission accomplished..its hard to be on the ball and come up with something good before anger takes over but its good skill for cappy to develop and an ambition 😛