I Need To Vent

My cappy is driving me crazy ...

I don't know if he's testing me or if he's just not that interested. He'll disappear for a couple days and then reappear and his first question will be - Do you have a boyfriend? My gut tells me he's testing me - testing my loyalty to him. Will I stray or will I be patient? But there's this little part of me that's screaming at me to let it go. Let it go because he doesn't care and all he wants is attention from a female. Why won't these guys just open up and tell you want they want? A simple answer will do - and then I can move on with my life.

Jack - No I don't. I only like him.

UGH!!! MEN!

Don't they just make you sick with all those stupid games!

LOL!!! I venting with you girl 😉

Yeah, I had a guy who would do the same stuff and it was so annoying. After a while I grew tired of all the bullshit (excuse my language but it was what it was). And yes, I did stray only because we were not officially so there was no need for me to be faithful while he was screwing around with other women.

No why! I sooo didn't waht to be that girl to sit around and wait for him to "magically" come to his senses -- and I don't advice you do it either.

Testing someones emotions is not cool, theres nothing wonderful about doing something like that.

Jack/ Cappysweetie - I'm torn between both of your responses! On the one hand, he is a really good guy and I see so much potential in him. I haven't known him for a long time so I know he's taking it slow (I hope!) or he's just not interested. And I've been so patient - more than anyone else I've dated. On the other hand, I don't want to be that girl that waits around hoping he'll come to his sense. I'll just feel like an idiot if nothing comes out of this and I sat here and waited and waited.

I can't balance the two - I have to pick one of the two and hope it's the right path. Why can't relationships be easy—??

"Don't they just make you sick with all those stupid games!"
Yes, they do and I was hoping that since he's older that we wouldn't have to play these games.

Cappysweetie - Have you dated a capricorn man? Any luck with them?

Oh no RLC,

The fact that he is older means he knows how to play games better ...

Cappysweetie - Have you dated a capricorn man? Any luck with them?

Actually, yes I have -- I've dated two of them.

The first one lied about his intentions and the other one was just way too self important for my blood.

The first one was sweet but very sexual -- he wanted to get things off the ground quickly ... but I wanted to take it slow. LOL, you would that that by me being a Saggie/Capricorn cusp, I would want to take things faster, but I didn't.

The second one was very talented muscially -- that was part of the reason why I fell for him -- I have a thing for people with unique gifts. However, he had a girlfriend at the time AND I HAD NO IDEA the fact that he was that dishonest started the distanting process with me -- I just could deal with that. When he broke up with his girlfriend, I still didn't trust him.

The breaking point is when they both cheated -- well, the second cap man tried to go out with another girl while still trying to have a relationship with me! . When I caught wind of this, I was done ... there was nothing else he could tell me.

The first cap man I actaully caught with another girl but he tried to lie his way out of it. BUT I wouldn't let him continue lying so I stopped talking to him.

And thats my history with cap men 😉 Haven't been with another one since ...

Yes, you are right. He does know how to play the game and he's driving me crazy :-) I'm glad everyone here understands b/c most of my friends tell me to just bounce out. But reading through these postings - Capricorn men take a lot of work and patience.

Lonely Capricorn -

I'm going to take your approach and date other guys to keep distracted and to stop wanting to rush into things. I think the more I try ... the more it won't work out. I just have to let things flow. And you hit it perfectly when you said that you feel like you're in a long distance relationship when you both live in the same city!!!!

Cappiesweetie -

I'm sorry about the cheating. But you know what - you will find an awesome man to make up for all the crappy ones 🙂

LC, I feel the same way - my cappy guy has to be dating other women too. I just hope they aren't as charming as me 😉 I can't get upset b/c we aren't in a relationship either. I just hope that he's doing the same thing and dating other girls to distract himself from thinking about me. I read in a posting way back that Caps have issues with calling someone their girlfriend and the only time they will call your their girlfriend is when you are their fiancee!!!! I see some truth in that b/c my cappy hated it when I tried to put a title on our relationship.

I am definately learning some patience and patience has never been a value of mine. So, I'm doing much better now because before I would dwell on the situation and drive myself crazy. Now, I decided to enjoy life and let things happen on it's own. It's just hard when you see your friends dating a guy for the same time period as me and my cappy and they are much further along ... GRRRR!

I think we are in the same boat - kinda sorta - and it's nice to know that maybe this might be something good. I'm going to have faith in him and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you RLC and LC,

Hopefully we both we'll find what we need ... instead of what we don't need!

YES! My buddy always tells me that "We have to kiss a couple of toads to find our prince."

I know I know - it's corny - but true 🙂

I truly believe that when we find the right guy - things will happen on it's own. No need to force things. We just have to be patient!

LC & RLC,

Just don't be so patient, understanding, and distracted/aloof that you fool yourself or ignore the possible realities. I'm just speaking from my latest "bombshell" dropped on me by the Cap. guy. I was doing the same as you as carrying on yet still wondering about him and thinking that he was just scared and needed time. He would never tell me that he wasn't interested, even when I told him not to contact me if he wasn't.

Hopefully your situation IS different... My only advice would be that confronting the situation head-on, with some direct questions in person, may save heartache later on. I would try to get answers but through emails and letters, which he would just ignore and let time pass before getting in touch so he didn't have to deal w/ them. If I'd had him in front of me asking these things or saying my feelings, I might have gotten more out of him if only in expressions and body language.

Patience is essential in dealing w/ these types... But also alternate that w/ taking some risks, and extending invites to him occasionally to see how these are received/responded to.

Yea, that Cap-Cap connection can be intense. It was for me... Like looking in the mirror and being scared of the alikeness. We had alot of other planets in common though too- moons, mercs., and flip-flopped mars-venus. What are your and his birthdates?

"If you feel confused and uneasy about the situation and he is not accessible for communication, it is questionalbe as to how long or productive this will work out. Do what feels natural to you and what makes you happy! If you find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster, something is wrong!"

I totally agree with this statement. And I'm glad that Capgirl shared her particular experience with her cap ex. LC and RLC it is not that those cap guys (or any other guy) are not nice and do not have potentials. but are they showing you with their actions that they are into you? I made the same mistakes as you guys in the past: I fell for a guy in the past and he was/still is a great guy that I would communicate with regularly and he would come back and go. It took me a while to accept that this just wasn't going anywhere and only when I did was I able to fall for someone who was really into me despite his shortcomings...
So anyway, don't put your life on hold in the hope that someone with potentials will live up to them. Also, I agree with Capgirl, don't play it safe with emails: you're only wasting time. Making direct invitation and asking direct questions may be hard and put you out there too much, but it is the only way that you'll avoid staying in stasis and a situation that is clearly frustrating. I had learnt that lesson and that is what helped me find out what my relationship with my boyfriend is right now: I was too pushy sometimes (he says it to me) but it paid well because I was not left in no man's land. Even if the person breaks up with you outright, you're better off...

Bounce out!!!!

Seriously...its a trap being on these boards. Because the people on these boards have good intentions in helping. But those capricorn male won't change and loooooooove attention. But its your call..is he worth it?? Worth the inner emotional rollercoaster? Ideally, wouldn't you want partner that doesn't but you through all that....or at least is there to help you ease the ride? I just hear ya screaming inside, yet you can't tell him.

I am just so confused and frustrated at myself. Some days I'm like - stick it out and it'll be worth it. Other days I'm like - Run away from this mess. 😢

I wish I knew what to do. It's a decision I have to make and go 100% with my decision. I hope I choose the right one though !

Here is why it's a tough call/ dilemma... because you start "playing the game" and/or trying to understand or be patient because you think either the Cap. is testing/playing games and/or is scared or untrusting. So, you try to become more like him- you back off, don't call as much- to be patient or to play the game which if he's insecure and untrusting doesn't help and makes it worse. The other side of this coin and the dilemma is if he is just not interested or not all that interested which has you spinning and weaving this web all for nothing.

Capgirl - You are so right about that! I don't know if he's testing me or if he's just not interested. But why would he constantly be asking me if I have a boyfriend now ... Sheesh. It's like he's trying to see if I really like him. I dunno I dunno - I'm confused !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LC -

Get some strength and live your life. Every one on this boards know how I feel about dealing with these men....If you got the strength do if not then don't deal with them until you get the strength.

They say these men get better with age...I don't really agree but hey you never know.

I think a lot of you ladies are really to young to be dealing with such mental and emotional stress from a man it is not good for you and you should not have to go through it.

It will definitely take a toll on you... This has wounded me, I'm not going to lie about that. You think you can beat them at their own game or break them but you end up hurting yourself in the process. I've got my own distractions/interests/life but each round of this crap, even at 2-3 month intervals, "re-opens the wound" and I have to pull myself out of it and go back to "no contact".

Well, I've only been talking to him for 3.5 months now and I should give him a little bit longer to prove himself. His wife left him and I know there's a lot of trust issues stemming from that. He is also a single father and there's also issues there too. Will they like his new girlfriend, etc. So, I know it seems like everyone is screaming for me to give up - I think I should give him some time.

All of this stems from my impatience and since he has made me feel things for someone that I haven't felt in such a long time - I do think he's worth it (sometimes I don't though).

I know it sounds like I'm making excuses for him, but I am trying to be understanding and look at it objectively. I've only known him for 3.5 months - can't expect a full fledged relationship ...

But, I do fear everything that you all are saying.

Why would he keep me in his life if he wasn't interested? He's the one who keeps trying to contact me when I don't caontact him. He's the one who keeps calling me these pet names and confusing me.

Is this typical of Capricorn males to keep stringing you along. Do they need that ego-boost that someone likes them.