I said i love you and i didn't hear it back :(

I'm a scorp, he's a cappy. We've been together nearly 6 months. We hang out nearly every day, are in touch all the time. We've known each other for many years and circumstance has brought us together. I am so into him and he is into me too, but it's that non verbal thing that drives me nuts. I've said it twice now, just through being a scorp I guess and not being able to contain it (not that i feel i should) i know he likes hearing this and hearing me say how close we are. But I guess I need to hear it too and as time passes, it's dawning on me that it might never be like that. He is extremely affectionate, always holding me and taking hold of my hand when we're out; I love it. He makes plans in the future and I am included in them, i love hearing about it. We have been on 2 holidays and are planning our next one. I thought cap men liked space and i give it him but he always asks me to stay over! He always phones me when he knows i'm leaving work. My gut instinct is telling me everything is brilliant, I mean it really is, i guess I just feel kind of arrogant assuming that without actually hearing it? He says he has always struggled with words and that anything he says I should 'add a bit extra' but I don't know what that means 🙂 When I said I love you last night, he held me really tightly for a long time. I have to admit I think that is some kind of code, like a response? But I also have to admit it crushed me (and I don't mean because he held me too tightly)

Should i not be greedy and just accept this is how it is? He is so wonderful and we laugh all the time we are together. I don't want this to be something I fixate on 😢 Help me to understand 😢

If you are expecting genuine emotional warmth out of a crapricorn, you would have an easier time squeezing Pepsi out of a red-hot meteorite fragment than you will getting love out of this guy.

Best to cut your losses now, and find yourself a man with some emotional depth that is greater than a mud puddle.

Lmao @ Crapricorn

😢 I wish my stupid brain could stfu about it!

Posted by CluelessCancer
LOL SF you kill me.

To the OP this is the second time you made this kind of thread. Why won't you allow him to be himself, why are the words so important to you when his actions tell you more than anything how he feels about you?

Nothing worse than trying to feel an i love you out of someone else and manipulating him by sharing your love for him is obnoxious.

Either do it cause you really do without expectations or stfu about it.

Good advise.. but also yes if a cap can't come across eventually then it is not a good thing...

Scorpios... often want what they want when they want... and can be deeply hurt if they don't get it... the father you go down this hole and if he does not change it eventually the more you will be come hurt...

I have a scorpio grandmother and uncle... both never married again after having their heart broken so bitterly...

PM

OMG. It has only been SIX months. Give the man some time to analyze how he feels.

The fact he hugged you tightly says A LOT!!!! He's just not ready to say it. Whatever you do, don't push it and don't shove it down his throat. He'll say it when he's comfortable.

Had he stammered and hum halled around, then he doesn't feel it. If he disappears, then you will know he doesn't feel it.

It takes capricorns a LONG time to be comfortable enough to say it back. We might feel it early on, but generally, it will be a long time coming. Perhaps a year or more. We are not comfortable expressing our emotions especially verbally. It is very difficult for us. We are a sign of action. So, the best way to determine how he feels is by recognizing how he treats you. It sounds to me like he does love you. We take care of and worry about the ones we love.

Relax. Don't say it again for a couple of months. Otherwise, you're only saying it hoping you'll hear it back and it will drive you crazy (believe me, I'm with an aqua. It took a year and a half for him - you just think caps are bad! lol!). It's okay you said it. Don't worry about it. Own it. You feel it, you said it and he respects you for it.

Whatever you do, don't pressure him or make him feel obligated to say it back. Don't make him feel forced and don't make him feel uncomfortable. Besides, don't you want him to say it because he wants to and not because he feels like you expect it?

Be patient! Notice his actions. That's what it's all about. People can say it all day long, but it doesn't mean a thing until the actions say it. Soooo, as long as he keeps coming around and treats you like his queen, you are fine and he feels it.

Hang in there!!!!

Just want to add. If you freak out about it and let it destroy your confidence or if you try to force it, you will push him away from you and he will gradually back off. If you pressure him, you will lose him.

Just sayin', from the words of a Capricorn.

I agree with truecap ^ ^
It's only been 6 months, give it some time.

Posted by ScorpioFish
If you are expecting genuine emotional warmth out of a crapricorn, you would have an easier time squeezing Pepsi out of a red-hot meteorite fragment than you will getting love out of this guy.

Best to cut your losses now, and find yourself a man with some emotional depth that is greater than a mud puddle.

Judging by your other posts on the forum, I take it you were deeply hurt emotionally by a Capricorn?

OP, this is the way of these goat-fish; they're not lovey-dovey with words ( they're not Libras afterall). They show their love with actions. Like small gestures such as remembering even the smallest details about something personal & important to you ( eg, remembering that you once casually mentioned that you like something, and then they surprise you by getting that something for you). Don't expect I love you's all the time ( or even anytime from a goat-fish) but they show it by being there for you....whenever they can.

Also, I seriously don't trust a guy if he says the "L" word after only 6 months.

Oh, and I want to add. For me, I don't know if six months is really enough time to know whether I love someone or not. Not enough time to determine if its love or infatuation. I need to see someone is a lot of different scenarios good and bad to witness how they respond. I need to know how they act when life kicks them in the shins. I need to know how they treat the waiter, their family, strangers. I need to know how they handle themselves when they're happy, angry, sad. I need to know if there are deal breakers and can I deal with their bad habits or not.

And, I'm NOT going to say it unless I mean it.

Wait at least a year before you complain about not hearing it or approach the subject with him. Be patient. Enjoy the time together. Be the woman he knows you are.

If you can't let the actions speak for themselves or if you are the type of woman that HAS to hear it to feel secure, perhaps he's not the man for you.

Posted by starlover
...not the most romantic or vocal of signs...practical yes, exciting and expressive...no

This has always puzzled me. I agree Cap men are not the most romantic or expressive or exciting. Yet I always see them with either Scorpio women or Pisces women ( ie the emotional water signs) and my observation is that these women seem inexplicably drawn towards these men. In fact, every few weeks some Scorpio woman comes in here with a problem with her Cap man. More surprisingly, I've seen quite a number of Leos, Aries (ie the exciting signs) and even the romance-queens Libras hanging off of these dudes. What gives? I initially thought it was the money until I realized a lot of these Cap men were pretty average when it came to wealth. They were more of the down-to-earth types. And the women often paid their own way and weren't the gold-digger types.

Posted by BeoWulf

Posted by ScorpioFish
If you are expecting genuine emotional warmth out of a crapricorn, you would have an easier time squeezing Pepsi out of a red-hot meteorite fragment than you will getting love out of this guy.

Best to cut your losses now, and find yourself a man with some emotional depth that is greater than a mud puddle.

Judging by your other posts on the forum, I take it you were deeply hurt emotionally by a Capricorn?

click to expand

Nah, but I have yet to meet one who isn't a money grubbing dirtbag in need of a good ass-kicking over the way they mistreat, use and abuse other people.

Posted by ScorpioFish

Nah, but I have yet to meet one who isn't a money grubbing dirtbag in need of a good ass-kicking over the way they mistreat, use and abuse other people.

I've met such people from ALL signs and both genders,.... yet I don't carry your venom.

Posted by truecap
OMG. It has only been SIX months. Give the man some time to analyze how he feels.

The fact he hugged you tightly says A LOT!!!! He's just not ready to say it. Whatever you do, don't push it and don't shove it down his throat. He'll say it when he's comfortable.

Had he stammered and hum halled around, then he doesn't feel it. If he disappears, then you will know he doesn't feel it.

It takes capricorns a LONG time to be comfortable enough to say it back. We might feel it early on, but generally, it will be a long time coming. Perhaps a year or more. We are not comfortable expressing our emotions especially verbally. It is very difficult for us. We are a sign of action. So, the best way to determine how he feels is by recognizing how he treats you. It sounds to me like he does love you. We take care of and worry about the ones we love.

Relax. Don't say it again for a couple of months. Otherwise, you're only saying it hoping you'll hear it back and it will drive you crazy (believe me, I'm with an aqua. It took a year and a half for him - you just think caps are bad! lol!). It's okay you said it. Don't worry about it. Own it. You feel it, you said it and he respects you for it.

Whatever you do, don't pressure him or make him feel obligated to say it back. Don't make him feel forced and don't make him feel uncomfortable. Besides, don't you want him to say it because he wants to and not because he feels like you expect it?

Be patient! Notice his actions. That's what it's all about. People can say it all day long, but it doesn't mean a thing until the actions say it. Soooo, as long as he keeps coming around and treats you like his queen, you are fine and he feels it.

Hang in there!!!!

+1

You've been daring and took him by surprise with your confession, so it's alright if he didn't answer immediately. Holding you tightly in silence could be a red flag though, because that is what people usually do when comforting someone...it's a way of telling "I'm sorry, but there is nothing else I could do to help".

Another red flag would be if he's not in love with you yet. In average, it takes 4 months to fall in love and I'm talking here about the serene, "home at last" feeling of being in love, not about the elated "bingo" feel you get when realizing he ticks most of the boxes on your check list. That is not love, but compatibility check, which is highly recommended. Yet it won't trigger love.

Even if you don't tell/ask him again, your question is floating in the air. If he's not confessing within a few weeks it's another red flag. It simply means he's not in love with you. It means that all the amazing things you've done together during the past 6 months were good enough to trigger your love, but not his.

Posted by M
"they show it by being there for you....whenever they can"

Bears repeating.

....until the day they are gone? Nothing unusual, we are always there for each other during the early infatuation stages...nothing to do with real love, though.

I think the advice of "give him time" is good. Plus everyone is different and for some people saying the L-word means long term commitment.

As a Cap, he probably wants to be 100% sure before he'll say it. This doesn't mean that you're not special or that he doesn't care. It just means that he wants to say it and mean it without hesitancy.

By the way, I don't think that YOU should prevent yourself from saying it if YOU feel it, because it can also lead him to realize that you really are special and deserve to hear the same.

Capricorn men control time. Time spent is never given back. If you misuse this time, it gets revoked. If you utilize it, you revive used time. The longer you repeat this pattern, the more often you see us...

Posted by SureShotCap
Capricorn men control time. Time spent is never given back. If you misuse this time, it gets revoked. If you utilize it, you revive used time. The longer you repeat this pattern, the more often you see us...

Spoken like a true Capricorn.

Posted by ellessque
If you said it because you felt it, I don't understand the problem. It simply shouldn't matter when he decides to say them.

If you said it because you expected validation and just wanted to hear it back.....you are creating your own problems.

Too many people throw those words out JUST to hear them come back like a boomerang. Be different.

And this is why I bow before The Ellessque. You speak wise words, M'Lady 🙂

I believe in actions speak louder than words, no matter what sign you are. If hes acting, showing, planning a future, but hasn't uttered the words, why you need that? Cuz there a lot of mofos out there dropping the L bomb on people that have no intentions of ever meaning it! feeling loved? what more you need? specially from a cap!