My Cap man, I'm confused.

I do not understand Caps. this is the first one I've been with. we've been together for three years, known each other for five. we are in a long distance relationship btw He would fly me out to see him ever four months. the first year he treated me like crap as in; took me for granted, i wouldn't hear from him for a week or two, told me i had too much time on my hands when i cried to him about him disappearing. then after that first year i told him i didn't want to be with him anymore and moved on. then he decided to act like prince charming. starting sending me gifts, opening up emotionally. etc. however he would not let me go the whole year and a half i told him i didn't want to be with him. thats fine cuz i still love him but i kept telling him lets just be friends but he wasn't hearing it. after a while I told him i had a baby and he told me i cheated buzz we never broke up. but he still wanted to be with me and accepts my child even though he is hurt.
ever since we go back officially together her hasn't gone more than 2 days with out contacting me. and we video chat at least twice a week. he is very caring but occasionally gets moody and doesn't want to talk. i think i worry about him leaving me sometimes so i get kind of annoying to him. but he is patient with me and doesn't stay mad at me long. today i told him i am unhappy in the relationship but didn't want to talk about it right now cuz he was busy at work. he immediately called me but had to go cuz of work. he tells me he's in love with me and promised he's not going anywhere but i still worry. i dint want to worry but i am a pisces and that might be the cause or maybe its the distance.

Why are you unhappy in the relationship?

Because he has so many female friends, sometimes because its a long distance relationship, and because he doesn't tell anyone he's in a relationship on social networks. as in change his relationship status to in a relationship. he told me he did that before and some females got messy and his ex broke up with him because of it. he doesn't send me flowers on a normal basis to make up for the distance. his best friend is a female (thats ok) but she doesn't like me for no reason and i was nice to her.

i am in love with him not going to deny it. its hard for me to not be with him or to stop talking to him i just have some issues but he's sweet for the most part. and I'm going to see him for the first time in 2 years next month. he claims he hasn't been with anyone else and i kind of believe him. maybe because i want to or maybe because i haven't caught him red handed in a lie and i hope i never do. He says i over analyze everything he says. he stayed with me after i had a kid on him so that must mean something. to me that means a lot. but friends tell me he's just using me for sex and he sleeps with other people.but they dont know him.

So you have a trust issue, the distance takes its toll, and you feel like he's not giving you enough attention?

The distance thing is understandable & social networking does cause a lot of problems.

Have you made plans to move nearer each other?

no because he works overseas. i want to but I'm waiting on him as i have been this whole time

You haven't seen him for 2 years?

i think he gives me enough attention but not in every aspect. he does way more than he use to. the longest he ll go without talking to me is three days cuz he'll be on a mission. but i dont like that he doesn't send me flowers is that dumb?

It's not really about the flowers though is it? What do you get from this relationship?

yes. the first year we were together he treated me so bad. he ignored me, acted like i was no big deal to him. then i told him i didn't want to be with him anymore and had a baby with someone else. he went like 2 or three weeks without contacting me then when i cried about it to him he was so cold to me. said i had too much time on my hands. told me if i wanted to be with him ok if not oh well. after i told him i didn't want to be with him anymore he turned into prince charming

we have an amazing connection when we are together. literally we both say we have never felt it with anyone else. a chemistry together. he makes me happy. he makes me feel loved. he tells me and i guess has showed me that he is here with me for good. cuz he hasn't left me regardless of what i did to him, me being annoying with the constant "do you love me?" all the time he's the man i want except i hate the distance.

i was wondering if he'll leave me cuz i said I'm not happy but kinda dont think he will. i think i just worry too much

Posted by yaya08
he makes me happy. he makes me feel loved. he tells me and i guess has showed me that he is here with me for good.

If you read back the thread what you're saying above doesn't seem to be what you're saying in the rest of the thread

you asked what i get out of the relationship. that what i get out of it but there are thing that i dont like

i just dont understand what goes on in head. ever since i originally broke up with him he's been sweet. and has never stopped being that way.

You will probably never understand it, I had a push pull relationships with a pisces a long time ago and it wasn't good for either of us. And yes we had that amazing connection too.

so what should i do just go with the flow of what he wants? what did you want and why did you guys break up if you dont mind me asking

i dont want our relationship to end i just dont know what to do about it.

We moved in with each other after a year. We used to argue a lot and I found myself becoming someone I didn't like so I broke it off. A decade later we still have that connection but we still wind each other up so it was the right thing to do.

I am not going to tell you what you should do, I am just going to ask you to think about what it is you want from this life and whether you're going to get it from this relationship, because time doesn't wait for anyone.

well I want a future with him but i can't tell the future. he says he's trying to accomplish his goals and I'm trying to support him while he does it. i understand his goals are important but i dont know how long he is going to be over there. he hasn't given me a set time and i for now am ok with that. this is my first long distance relationship but i dont want to look back and say i wasted my 20's on hoping for this person and he's still over there or he comes back and doesn't ask me to marry him or move in with him or we break up. so i just dont know. i feel like I'm the one compromising and he is not because he's over there cuz he wants to be. if it were me over there he probably wouldn't wait for me but idk

Posted by yaya08
i feel like I'm the one compromising and he is not because he's over there cuz he wants to be.

That statement is important, it's not really about the flowers is it.

You are hoping for something in the future while putting aside your short term needs. You've done this for quite some time and you don't seem to be any further along the line.

I wouldn't let somebody I love do that to themselves, life is for living, not hanging around.

we dont argue really cuz i dont yell at him. i dont like arguing with him because i respect him. we have disagreements though sometimes.

Thank you.

I just dont see the point in a long distance relationship.

they can work. but its not someone asks for it just happened. the goal is for it to eventually not be long distance.

But you haven't seen him in two years!!!!!

How do you know hes not just leading you on?

Two years when before he would fly you out every few months?

No honey, he is keeping you hanging on by a thread... Find yourself someone local who will treat you the way you deserve and will be there for you and your baby

As RichCap said take a step back and revaluate this relationship. I get that you love him despite the flaws, but I am not sure what you are waiting around for...

thats the problem, i dont know if he's leading me on. i haven't seen him in two years because i was nursing n didn't want to leave my child for too long. i dont think he's leading me on but I've been questioning the relationship from the start because of the distance. I've been waiting for him to come from overseas and honor his words on us having a future together. maybe I'm a fool cuz i dont want to let him go because of the chemistry we share. but I'm gonna give it another year and if he doesn't come back I'm letting him go cuz i can't do this forever. i try to believe him because I've read that you guys aren't liars, but we'll see what happens and if he's telling the truth. thanx caps for your insight.

Smh. I'm sorry but I think you are a little too insecure for this relationship to work. In the long run you will always feel neglected and not loved enough, and he will feel like you depend on him too much emotionally and he will get tired of it, love or not no man wants to always feel like no matter what he does is never enough. Love is not enough to hold a relationship together for the long haul in my opinion. There are way too many other factors that must be present for it to work, and it goes double for a long distance relationship. You MUST have trust, you MUST have communication, and yes Love each other past your differences because no one is perfect.
You obviously don't fully trust him, although you really want to because you love him. After reading your responses I don't think you are equipped emotionally to handle a man that lives so far away from you, if you are going to date long distance you need a man that can fly you out at least every other weekend. I have a Pisces moon, so I understand the need for reassurance from your partner once you love them, however the Libra in me doesn't allow me to smother my partner with that need. TrueCap makes and excellent point —TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE?? the last thing you want to do is look up another 2 years from now and be in the same funk about you relationship. You definitely need to re-evaluate.

Posted by yaya08
thats the problem, i dont know if he's leading me on. i haven't seen him in two years because i was nursing n didn't want to leave my child for too long. i dont think he's leading me on but I've been questioning the relationship from the start because of the distance. I've been waiting for him to come from overseas and honor his words on us having a future together. maybe I'm a fool cuz i dont want to let him go because of the chemistry we share. but I'm gonna give it another year and if he doesn't come back I'm letting him go cuz i can't do this forever. i try to believe him because I've read that you guys aren't liars, but we'll see what happens and if he's telling the truth. thanx caps for your insight.

You're in denial - this is not a real relationship. You haven't seen him in two years!! You saw him the first year and he treated you badly. Now, that you don't see him at all, he's treating you well? Wake up!!!

Love is not built on chemistry alone. And chemistry over the computer is NOT the same as chemistry in face to face contact.

You're someone at the other end of the computer who boosts his ego.

Find a real man that lives in proximity of you that you can see, feel, touch, smell.... Stop living in fantasy land and wasting your precious time with someone you don't even get to see. You're missing out on a living, breathing, sexy man that can hold you and take you places and make love to you.

I'm not saying you have to stop talking to him completely, but get out there and start noticing other people. Date other people. He is, I'm sure of it.

Posted by truecap
I just dont see the point in a long distance relationship.

DITTO!

Posted by yaya08
they can work. but its not someone asks for it just happened. the goal is for it to eventually not be long distance.

Has he even verbalized that eventually it won't be long distance? Have yall made plans to move closer together?

I'm thinking no. Otherwise, you would have mentioned this.

we have but he couldn't give me a straight answer for when he's coming back, because his work is more important to him. he just said he won't be over there forever.

Posted by yaya08
we have but he couldn't give me a straight answer for when he's coming back, because his work is more important to him. he just said he won't be over there forever.

Then you have your answer. Don't waste another two years or so waiting on him.

Posted by yaya08
we have but he couldn't give me a straight answer for when he's coming back, because his work is more important to him. he just said he won't be over there forever.

See, Cap men and basically men I general make plans with the women they love as opposed to keeping them hanging just in case he changes his mind. Hes keeping you as a backup and not his main/ride or die.

Hes being elusive sweetie because he doesnt want to break up with you because he feels sorry!! Get rid of him!!!

Im sorry to be so harsh but some of us have been there and know better!!!!

so why does he say i love you, I'm in love with you, i want to marry you one day? and why does he still fly me out to see him? well he paid for my ticket to see him next month.

then when i break up with him he doesn't want to hear it and the one time he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me i said ok and he still called me a week later saying he wanted to be with me.

I'm listening to what you guys are saying. I'm just trying to understand cap men or this one. you guys are supposedly honest and sincere so why would he tell me all these things if he doesn't mean it? he works overseas he's not being elusive because he tried to see me every time he went on leave but this is the first time i agreed. i am the one who was saying no and he was still talking to me and saying he wanted to be with me.

and would a cap man stay with someone cuz they feel bad for them?

I don't think this story is for real..but I am SURE you're not a Pisces.

Something is fishy with this.

Posted by Damnata
I don't think this story is for real..but I am SURE you're not a Pisces.

Something is fishy with this.

It always baffles me when I see comments like this. Do people really come on here and make stories up, and lie about their sign?
Must be bored out of their mind, and craving attention. I think it's too petty to assume that. She may be telling the truth. The main thing is her living her life and not continuing to let him consume her every thought, ESPECIALLY because she has a child.

Posted by pinklibra

Posted by Damnata
I don't think this story is for real..but I am SURE you're not a Pisces.

Something is fishy with this.

It always baffles me when I see comments like this. Do people really come on here and make stories up, and lie about their sign?
Must be bored out of their mind, and craving attention. I think it's too petty to assume that. She may be telling the truth. The main thing is her living her life and not continuing to let him consume her every thought, ESPECIALLY because she has a child.

click to expand

Yeah, some really do and some have been exposed in the past.

There's smthg about her mindset that isn't Piscean to me..but oh well. It is what it is

Damnata, you're not even a pisces so how are you gonna tell me what i am and what a "pisces" mindset is?! REALLY?! you can't. I dont care if you know some, are dating one, or whatever; that doesn't mean you know them entirely or are one.

Yeah damnataaaa


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