Need consultation from Cappy *puppy eyes*

I met this capricorn guy a month ago via FB. We were just msg together and I consider him as one of my friend, not more than that. When I inform him that I was coming to his town (actually I was planning having vacation with my niece), he was very happy and hopes to meet me. Unfortunately, last minute I cancel my trip, instead I invited him to my town, Surprisingly he agreed and we met.

He was very warm. He cares about me, laugh a lot and keep on smiling to me. He also asked a lot of question about me and my family, and even wanted to meet my elder sister. Thnk GOD my elder sister was working, so he eventually cancel his intention. (I dont actually introducing my family members to a guy that I just met, thats why I was a bit panicked)

Whn we were about to across a road, he make sure there's no car then he reached my hand. He even touched my cheek and said I melted him. My heart was like, whoa! Is this guy for real or just joking with me? At the end of his visit, he texted me and said I was such a nice person and he glad he met me.

The second part continues when I pay a visit to his hometown. He brings me where ever I want to go. It was such a splendid day. He showed me where he lives durin his childhood, his school, his workin place and everythin involve with him. and he event showed me where his mother was workin. There's a time he tried to touch my hand, however I was too shy to response. wht surprise me more is, he still kept the mineral bottle I gave him. Its like a gift fr me, hence he cherish it.

I miss my bus that day and I hv no choice but to stay in the hotel. I could see how worried he was to leave me alone. He decided to sleep in the car. Moreover, he helped me to find charger for my hand phone. I was touched and completely falls for him. The way he talks, the way he cares about me, totally mesmerized me. I thanked him for being my hero that day.

The problem is, its been 4 days now. He didn't reply my msg and did not buzz me anymore via YM. Everythn was perfect. I was wondering wht hv happen to him? Hv I make him mad? Wht had I done tht makes him ignore me? I was confused and I don't know what to do. I like him, despite I haven't confess yet. I was waiting for him to confess to me. But I guess, we're driftin away now and I don't know what the reason cause it. It's frustrating. Is he still want me or he already dumped me.

Btw, I'm a pieces. Any advises and suggestions is highly appreciated. Should I move on or be patient and w

I was planning to text him again tomorrow, asking is he ok and applogize if I have offended him without I'm realizing it. That will be my last msg. It takes two tango. I guess, I was the only one who has feeling for him. >_

Don't apologize!!!!! Sounds weak and insecure. We don't like that. Just say something like "Hope you're having a good day" or "Hey you!" or "How was your day?"... or something light hearted referencing a conversation you had. Something innocent like that. He's probably just been busy and distracted. If he still doesn't respond, I would just let it go.

Posted by truecap
Don't apologize!!!!! Sounds weak and insecure. We don't like that. Just say something like "Hope you're having a good day" or "Hey you!" or "How was your day?"... or something light hearted referencing a conversation you had. Something innocent like that. He's probably just been busy and distracted. If he still doesn't respond, I would just let it go.

I know he's a busy man. Usually he ate his lunch at 3-4 pm.I made my mind. I wont send any msg to him. If he wants me, he will find me. If not, that just show he did not interested at me at all. I was just felt that there's a chemistry between me and him. Unfortunately I was wrong. Heheh.. Life must goes on!

Posted by ellessque
"I was wondering wht hv happen to him? Hv I make him mad? Wht had I done tht makes him ignore me? I was confused and I don't know what to do. I like him, despite I haven't confess yet. I was waiting for him to confess to me. But I guess, we're driftin away now and I don't know what the reason cause it. It's frustrating. Is he still want me or he already dumped me.

I was planning to text him again tomorrow, asking is he ok and applogize if I have offended him without I'm realizing it."

I was enjoying your story until that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why are you blaming yourself?

Why do you think he has to be mad?

Why are you waiting around for him to contact you?

Didn't you reach out already?

You opened yourself up and you were sincere. A person cannot do anymore than that.

Keep living your life as if he wasn't even introduced into it.

At the very least, you had an amazing experience and a basket full of things to put on your table of contents for what you want to ultimately experience in a relationship. Your standards have been raised and you are closer to knowing what makes you feel complete in a relationship.

A shiny new dating experience shouldn't entail doubt....in yourself or him.

Perhaps, the next time around.......the man you meet will be courteous with your feelings and have a mutual interest that he can voice and reciprocate.

Never apologize for being you.

Thnks Elle. Highly appreciated your advise. I was becoming like that bc I really want to know what happen with him. Then I wont bothered him again. I prefer some xplanation to stop my 'wondering mind' hahhahaha.. but yeah, love is something that can brought two different soul together, sharing happiness and not being doubting all the time :-)

This is my first time dealing with Capricorn guy. I do have Cappy girlfriend, and she was my best friend. We have been friend since childhood (at first she's a bit reserve and not much talking. Slowly I shows her it's good to have fun with other friends, rather that just being the observer. And dang! we became bestest friend)

This cappy guy I like is different. He makes me confused. Acted like I was the one, then just disappear. Whoa.. I know
he has a lot of girlfriend around (I refer to his FB page) There's a time, some girl posted in his wall how she misses him (since he didnt contacted her anymore) and to my surprise, he quickly deleted it. and then a few days later, the same girl shared a link to his FB page. A love song. Guess what he do? He completely suspended his FB account. Thank GOD I wasn't like that girl. It's too embarassing and humiliating when somebody deleted your post! I pity her and she's still young, just turn 19 this year. I hope she was ok.

I guess, cappy man is really hard to understand. He's driving me crazy, just like Britney's song. "you drive me crazy, but it feels alright"

Dearest Cappy, mind to explain why you acted like this?

His behavior speaks volumes about what kind of person he is...

This is his fun, he leads these women on, of course I'm sure he would probably say he's not doing that but never the less that's what he's doing. I've seen men, the immature ones play this low self esteem game with women, HE HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM and he look and look and look for women, all kinds, all types of women to feed into his fake persona, he lures em in with this fake sensitive super hero persona and then he DUMPS HER once he receives her approval, he got what he wanted, he got to feel important, loved, wanted and now he's gone off to bag another, fool another and break her pretty heart.

He may appear completely smitten'd to paralyze his prey and then POOF he disappears and thus the woman either wait on him to come back and/or reaches out to him and some of the women probably go over board like the 19 year old girl did but now she's OUT, she goes from valued to devalued just like that, it's hurtful for a woman to go through this but there are men out there that play these silly head heart games with women, guys like him are insecure, deeply insecure and need VALIDATION, validation that he's wanted, needed, exciting, handsome, a super hero, he needs the clinging on so he can FEEL VALIDATED AND IMPORTANT but alas rejection follows, he can't stay, the excitement is over, he's off to BAG ANOTHER, so he rejects by disappearing or making her feel so bad about how much she wants him that he kicks her to the curb like he did the 19 year old so he can say to himself, see I'm special, every girl wants me, look at her act like a stalking fool over me, all of these women want and need me...

He show women this HERO PERSONA and she falls hard then he snatches HIMSELF BACK and says nope, I'm not available, and these kind of men do this super hero game with every woman they meet, essentially he's not a super hero and he'll never be that with you ever again...be careful, there are all types out there. Some of these guys Cap or not have a habit of mesmerizing his target, rendering her completely smitten'd and in love only to BAIL OUT afterwards. Yes he dumped you and he'll probably come back much later to see if he's still IN with you, still adored and then he'll bail out again, this is what men like him do. He did it to the 19 year old and he did it to you too and if you scan his FB page you'll probably notice he's doing to other women as well.

Don't fall so quickly next time, make a man EARN your heart. Your heart is one of the most precious assets you have as a woman.

So what happens after he WIN you over with his super hero persona.....He has to leave...Why?

Why doesn't he stay? He's really a nobody loser least that's how he feels about himself, he know he isn't a super hero and he know if he stick around eventually you'll see it too, you'll see all of his flaws and REJECT HIM so instead of allowing that to happen, he has to CONTROL what happens, he'll REJECT YOU FIRST so he won't have to face rejection himself.

You can stick around or you can find a REAL MAN that isn't disappearing on you, that isn't afraid to love and want you.

he started to contact me again today. I was more prepared after all the brain wash you all gave me (tq so much!)And I just shoot to him that he at least should tell me what is going on. Surprisingly he agreed. So I said to him that sharing is caring and sharing is sexy. He laughed when I said those statement.

After that he shared a lot of youtube vids. All of it about motivation on how to success and how to achieve your dreams. I was like, my goodness... This Cappy guy sure is very ambitious and strive to achieve his dreams and ambition. And even sacrifice his sleeping time!

Deep inside my heart I was motivated bc I didnt have such big dreams like his. Mine was only M size and not XXXXXXXXL size like his dream. I guess, it's time for me to persuade my own dreams :-)

I think he just likes the thrill of the chase.

I wont care anymore if he ignore me again. Won't blame myself too. Its not my fault. Slowly I think I knew why he acted like that. He's too busy persuading his dreams! Somewhat I was glad he was that kind of person. I just wish him all the best in striving all his dreams and then I follow the flow. I have a sixth sense stating that he will accomplished all his dreams. It just a matter of time. He's 29 years old tis year. Just celebrating his birthday on jan 13.

Wish someday I could ask him about the 19 years old chick. Hahahhaha *I checked the girl FB just now, I guess she's ok. She's currently flirting with other guy. Hopes she learn something.*

Btw, he asked me if I ever miss him this few days. I was just laughed and until the end of our conversation, I never answer his question. How rude of me ;D

But yeah, for that sort of question I prefer answering if he was in front of me.

He just strikes me as an emotionally messy person. I don't think his intentions are to send mixed signals, or possibly any signals at all, he just needs an outlet to be warm, affectionate, kind, caring...to be human. It seems he has nobody to release his emotions to at home, without them expecting more, so he's found someone that's from another town, someone he doesn't have to see often, and is unintentionally using you as a release.

He's probably extremely unaware of his signals. From what I gather, it's not as if he's asked for sex, and if he ever does, do not give in. Cut him loose. He just probably see you as someone, of the opposite sex, that won't bother or hound him about feelings and a relationship.

He seems focused and driven towards a goal. Caps can lack a bit of balance, and neglect their emotional needs when on that journey, and unfortunately, this is what happens when the needs can no longer be ignored. Get sloppy and release spurts to different outlets(women).

Sarah00, he's not prepared for a relationship. Please save yourself by not entertaining him, as someone to take serious, at all.

If the two of you will continue to talk, continue to laugh and dismiss his questions.

He's not just pursuing his dreams if he has a following of women behind him, meaning he's pursuing his dreams along with pursuing WOMEN, only to drop them when it's not convenient anymore, not only is he dropping these women in a cruel way he's most likely misleading women along the way which includes you, maybe he thinks it's fun to have all these women chasing him but women aren't toys and play things, I guess it's okay if this is what being a man is to him but don't you fall in line with it.

Try not to make excuses for him about his behavior, the excuse he's pursuing his dream is a valid excuse but it's still an excuse, men MAKE TIME for the woman they love, no excuses, he makes an effort to ensure you are a part of his dreams and goals so try and be realistic so you won't end up MISLEADING YOURSELF into thinking he'll be your boyfriend some day, he most likely won't be the guy you need and want him to be, he most likely won't take you seriously but something he will do which can mislead you into believing he truly wants ONLY YOU is he will flirt with you, even sleep with you if had the opportunity, he may even say some of the warmest most sweetest words but inevitably it leads into NOTHING and this is why so many women get confused and hurt.

I understand he needs an outlet but inevitably that outlet makes everything messy because intentional or not intentional he ends up misleading women into believing he's serious when he's just having some fun and using her as a outlet to release his tension and relieve his boredom and women are much more than that and maybe that's the immaturity on his part, something he'll have to recognize for himself, as long as you don't allow him to have you without earning you by putting in the time, effort, thought and energy then you'll be fine but if you just give him your heart because he's sending you all the right signals well inevitably that could end up in disappointment.

Just be careful. Try not to read too much into his flirting behavior and try not to read too much into it when he gives you attention, try to keep a balanced perspective on it or you can easily fall in line with the 19 year old and get dissed.

Posted by ellessque
I guess I wouldn't be so cynical if she wouldn't have brought up the 19 year old chic situation.

I think tiki may be right on this one.

However, she's just as much responsible for herself as he is for himself.

She needs to stop blaming herself if he continues these games. That's exactly how the guys that tiki is describing operate. They feed off your self-esteem until you don't know who you are anymore. They also come in all flavors, they are not specific to just caps.

True +1

Tq guys.. I'm ok now and know exactly how to defend myself and be cautious of his misleading signal.
Not going to let my guard down again, ever ;D .
I admired his ambitions and goal. He motivated me to persuade
my own dreams. Thats the bright side I like about him.

My intuition tells me he likes you. Just that Cap men move differently from others when it comes to matters of the heart. A lot like Aquarians. Patience is the key. Eventually, he'll get you. Just let him know from time to time ( but not TOO frequently) that you're thinking of him.

Posted by BeoWulf

My intuition tells me he likes you. Just that Cap men move differently from others when it comes to matters of the heart. A lot like Aquarians. Patience is the key. Eventually, he'll get you. Just let him know from time to time ( but not TOO frequently) that you're thinking of him.

I also have the same intuition. But I will wait until he is more open to me. I was really worried this few days (a married guy in my office suddenly confessed that he likes me and would like to marry me. Of course, I rejected him, but he keeps on bugging me until I am so damn stress.)

Eventually I discuss this matter with the cappy guy. To my surprise, he's more worried than me. He was even considering to move to my town and protect me from that psycho married guy. However I told him everything still under control. If things getting worst, I'll let him know.

I'm happy he's more open now a days. He shared his dreams with me and he was so touched when I said to him these phrase,

"Promised to yourself, during your strive to achieve your ambitions and dreams, always be yourself and stay healthy. SUCCESS is just around the corner, grab it cause I know you deserved it."

I was moved with his way pursuing his own dreams and ambitions. The last thing I know, I already said these phrase.