Need some feedback

Is it me or are all caps aloof and seemingly uncaring?

No, I feel that too. Its their supposed way of watching you from afar, or something like that.

I feel it also, they seem to blow hot and cold in a matter of seconds also. Despite this - i think caps are great! :-)

I believe that all caps are very warm and loving underneath - i think it takes a bit of time and trust for them to show it though...

my cap was very loving and really opened up to me 2 weeks ago, he told me that he feels as though he can talk to me about anything and that he feels as though i never judge him - BUT he has now gone back into his man cave and i have not heard from him since, despite emailing him and I have had no reply - i really don't understand what has happended. 😢

I am starting to feel that i am doing something wrong as one minute he is really really close to me and treats me great and i feel as though we are really close - he then goes distant, like now, he has not replied to my emails - i just don't understand - this has been going on now for over a year!

I haven't spoken to him about it as i don't want to scare him off as he is only just starting to open up to me......

I agree cappywench and i appreciate your honesty, next time he opens up to me, i will say something to try and improve things

I think it's really a matter of timing how I approach my cap. I don't get to see him cause he's moved. If I start attacking him with "you" statements he goes on the defensive. I have do be very grounded within myself and talk in a non-emotional way before he takes me serious...otherwise he has an attention span of a 1 year old.

Before my cappy moved he and I got close or at least I thought so. Now I find myself feeling very rejected by him. He seems to pick and choose a time that's convenient to respond to my emails (if he doesn't completely ignore them all together)I don't know maybe he's got intimacy issues?

Thanks for the confirmation cappywench. I am getting really sick of his avoidance. Yes he is hot to me. I am on the verge of letting go of our friendship. Its not healthy at all and he's like a drug to me...and that's not an exaggeration.

Yeah frustrated aries, I would try to be as objective as possible and logical. I would always start by saying, "I just feel as if..." or,"Things seem to be...etc. etc." Never ever point or finger or act like you may be putting him in his place. He can never dispute the way you feel, only how you handle your feelings. If you seem bewildered he should be more than enthusiastic to "break things down" so to speak but he will do it with thoughtfulness. Emotional extremes must be justified to a cap male for us to give an attention span of more than a minute. We do not lose cool and sometimes hold others to the same standard. Unbridled emotions scream "CHILD" to us. Afterwards we give you child time and child attention.

Explain your position minus emotion. That is an equation that we are more open to dealing with because it wont take long to hash it out. Remember to focus on how he affects your feelings and then make him put your shoes on. Empathy will bring it all out. Dont accuse, or ask why this and that.

I feel as if he sees that you can be rational minus emotion, you dont pressure him, then he will know that youre not one of "those" that you have to argue down for 5 hours just to have an honest progressive pow wow.

Cappywench also has a good solution if you cannot do this. Just leave it be. Usually we do not like to play games...they are detestable because they totally kill truth. I only play games if I feel Im being played with or manipulated. Its insulting. I wrote too much I know.

How is my Superhead doing?

" Emotional extremes must be justified to a cap male for us to give an attention span of more than a minute."

Hey Thanks SuperCap, what does this mean? What is justified emotional extremes?

i would classify an emotional extreme as visibly or verbally displaying your initial reaction and feelings, (in the heat of passion) without any regard as to the consequences you might reap. This can also be labeled as temporary insanity in court because it usually leads to assaults and "non-premeditated" murder.

For example if I were to cheat on you then I pretty much expect a slapping and a cussing.
If I move to another province I expect understanding.

Communication is key when dealing with anyone especially the opposite sex. You dont want to make anyone tip toe through tulips when they are around you or even on the phone with you.

Once you are quiet long enough for the other person to explain their position (which comes with you allowing them to shoot first) then you could reply "I see where youre coming from and its understandable how you feel." First give acknowledgement of understanding as a courtesy and offering of peace. Then explain factually where youre coming from. This is a hard part because once you have someones mind open there is a temptation to manipulate for absolute justification and lecturing. Keep the exchange fair and reasonable without malicious intent or gain.

Try adding a little humor (thats appropriate)to lighten him up more and more.

You can always "go Off" on someone but it burns bridges if not truly warranted plus makes you look like you dont have a handle on things.

Always be willing to approach respectfully and have a discussion. Communication is always better this way unless youre dealing with willful ignorance and in that case just leave it be.

Always be aware of your "extra-ness."

Remember that if you dont know how he feels or what is going on in his mind then its brash to point a finger first off.

Wow, that's a lot to chew at one time. The ironic thing is that as time goes by I find myself caring less and less if the friendship continues.

What is "extra-ness" anyway?

Basically yes!

One of my ex's favorite thing to say was "Honey Im so sorry Im acting like this today and towards you", "I'm just a little extra today/this week/this month/.

She would just be admitting that she is letting her emotions spill over into everything. I guess like giving someone more of you than theyre used to. Yeah bump the friendship.

Yeah assessing you from a distance but Capricorn is otherwise a nice warm caring sign kinda cold though due to Saturn.

Apprasing you from a distance that's what I meant.