oh fu**, let me announce

the capguy announced his love tonight

it's only eclipse and 1 week from now I might expect surprises.. but hell do I enjoy this moment. It's very emotional.


hm

ok I'll show. It's so frightening.

yes.

I feel like someone will blow my bubble and will be all over...

someone or something

i kinda pushed it, amethyst

I felt jaded too

yes.

At the end of the night I wanted an answer. I keep on waiting for you, CapMan.... are we friends now?

He said, yes. I said, OK... so does that mean I can start dating others, but you and I are friends?

He said, yes if that's what you want.

I said, ok then... I guess it means you and I are friends and I'm free to date.

He came to my driver's side window and said, if that's what you want but ...

I said, look.. this is no relationship we have.. do you like me?

He said, yes.

I asked, in what way?

He said, in many ways.

i asked, do you love me?

...


he said, yes... he held my hand.. gave me a kiss....


I guess the story continues

i feel truly stupid now

I agree, amethyst

that is why i feel stupid


I wish he'd just blurb out himself

but he looked and sounded so happy

he sang songs

made jokes

so I take it upon myself in some ways...

what hand, M?

oh... lol

I understand it's holding hands and it means.. i'm only yours.

That's the way it felt.

It felt as if he wanted me to be his. He kept rubbing my fingers... 😛


I was willing to be his.

but if the eclipse has to play its course, then... I guess it all was shanigans

yes amethyst... words vs actions.


I'm so not settled yet.

still feels slightly good though ... 🙂

time 😢

oh.. he did say the L word.

I said, "CapMan, I'm serious. Do you LOVE me?", he said, "Yes, I love you." I even went overbored to make double/triple sure, and said, "I hope you are not just saying it, only say if you mean it, so do you truly love me", and he said, "yes". Then he held my hand and the kiss came.

He is not an easy man, I tell you... but I do like the idea that he trusts me. He even gave me his password to his computer last night.. wow... he may change it later though 😛

All day I felt like I was walking on cloud kuckoo land 😄

I'm a love fool ..I may as well enjoy it for as long it lasts.

Posted by capguy
I think we also hate saying those words because they are inadequate labels. If we have deep feelings for you, we probably can't put them into words because they are so strong. Then there is this culturally accepted word of "love" and that's supposed to adequately put into words feelings I can't bring myself to express to begin with? And demanding you want to hear it from a cap man is like saying "take this thing that is very dear and personal to you, that is impossible to describe, and accept a cheap substitute, a word everyone says all the time, all day long, and means nothing."

What KIND of love? I love music. I love women. Do I love this particular woman? Well it's the same word, but hey look there are different contexts now.

Women wanting to hear it is like demanding to put a round peg in the square hole. It's an inadequate word, it's flowery, it's cheesy, overly sentimental, and means different things to different people. Yet all you want to do is hear it.. .doesn't matter how well we might treat you or all the other ways we show you we care, all the time.

So you put a guy on the spot, force him to go against his nature, or he loses you. Fine, you win. I'll say the stupid word, not willing to "lose you", so you win.

So you win, and what does he get? The feeling of being emasculated, the knowledge that being himself, as he is is not enough... he has to conform to these larger standards of how people are expected to express themselves.

We can't put into words ANY of our feelings. So don't be surprised that when we're forced to say "love", we don't do it in a sheepish, embarrassed way. We might never be able to put into words, yet you'll be satisfied with a fast food, drive-through, one size fits all word.

It has to MEAN something, is the point. That word doesn't mean anything. It's the word you're supposed to say when you can't properly put into words what you would like to say.

capguy 😄

I fully agree

but I needed to hear... as does any other woman who fancies a capricorn man 🙂

it's more like black and white. If he turns into something else, then I guess I have to deal with another side of his but in the meantime, he also has to learn to promote himself to me. I dearly love him. I can't explain how much he means to me. But I needed to hear

my advice to a nice gentleman like you, do not hold back what you feel

to the woman you care... so you do get back in folds. We all are vulnerable. Remember this. You may have picked the wrong one. You may make a wrong choice, but isn't it all worth it?? what do you have to lose if you tell you care?

much love along your way. 🙂

thank you, CappyLuv 🙂

believe me when I say that it is not any different to a scorpio. We have our own long dealings on how we feel for you. Just because I know from myself and knowing him for a while now, I felt easier in just giving it out. I wanted him to know. I wanted to be vulnerable. I knew.... my vulnerability was less than his. I just felt it. It was like music you feel running through your blood stream.

From now onwards, i think, it is a balance i need to keep. 🙂 The fine lines should work itself out I hope.

Quiet Storm

you know I always admire your ways and for how you are in general 😄

WELL... ladies. I have some news for you... lol

The Eclipse has spoken fairly soon. What is it today? December 23? It only took 2 days.

I thought it was the beginning of something truly nice, but it turns out it will have to be the end.

I am fuming of anger. If he calls me back, I am going to arrange a meeting with Capman tonight.

I know it all now. I know now what he was doing behind my back. I know how he feels. I know pretty much everything what he does at my absence. WoW... what a powerful tool this eclipse has been.

he gave me his laptop with his own hands. It needed fixing. I fixed it.

Oh crap! I haven't participated, but I was reading and happy for you! What the hell happened?

I'm sorry. 😢

taking a deep breath...

I'm still trying to figure things out, but from what I saw until now, he is a piece of shit and NEVER to be trusted again.

I saw all his chats with women, friends, cousins


The times are when him and I were together. He was with me, but at the same time was telling his ex girlfriend he loves her.

He was also telling other women he loved THEM. *love* is cheap in his mouth.



In the spring he had to move his residence. I helped him. He kept his address and moving date a secret.


But I also know from his ex gf posts, that he kept his address to himself. Never gave it out to anyone else, not even his cousin. That's the part I need to figure. Only i know where he lives.

Then, he also writes to his cousin about this 28yr old girl (he is 40 soon) that he wants to marry her so he can make her pregnant. I did catch some of his lies to others... he brags...

there absolutely is no mention ANYWHERE about me. 🙂

I was helping him all along. He used to call me in the middle of the night. He used to ask me to wake him up in the morning. I brought him to emergencies when he was ill. I travelled miles around the city to find him a new residence... and so many more fucking things...

NOT ONE fucking mention of me

it is as if I do not exist.

He was cam with women. He had cyber sex with his ex girlfriend, while with me. She knows about me. She tells him never to be with another woman after her. He says, I promise.

I was stupid enough to wonder why HIM and I did not have sex for a couple of weeks.... he had just stopped.

He didn't have physical sex with anybody, but he told his cousin that he cannot forget his ex girlfriend. She is cheater and he keeps asking her... so do you have a man with you? Are you talking to another man right now? He sounds obsessed.


I truly need to cool.

That totally blows. I know you must be crushed and this will be of very little help right now, but thankfully you won't waste one more minute on this man. And frankly, I'd feel sorry for those do because he seems to be all over the place emotionally.

At the time he was quite ill, diagnosed with pneumonia... his nose was bleeding all the time.

I mean... I thought it was natural that a guy, even someone like him... couldn't perform. He kept telling me that he had absolutely no energy. He didn't. He couldn't get up to work.

But what is all this crap??

Why involve me—


His body language was so revealing (i thought?!!??). When he saw me, he almost jumped off his chair. I felt his stares during some business meeting we had. He kept calling me like an idiot when he saw my letter to him that I loved him all the way...

even this last time I saw him

i don't know

I know, i am making myself vulnerable on these boards by announcing everything. However... just some little advice from a lesson learned:


if some guy or girl goes into hide for no reason, it means he is not into you.

He seriously doesn't give a damn about you!



I have two men in my life who are constantly around. I know one likes me quite a lot. I don't give him ANY hope... I even had to repeat the other day saying, there strictly cannot develop anything in between us. That's the end of it.

The second one, I just wrote him a letter once I got this *I LOVE YOU* shit from the Capman, that I have started seeing someone, because this man kept asking me since last summer if we can get together. I kept declining him. He is writing twice a week trying to convince me to see him. He still had hope. But letting him know that I have someone else in life now, was going to stop him. I actually was going to accept his invite if Capman had not taken this step.

so

i think i feel good now. 😄

thank you, Shadow

thank you, Shaka

thank you, All


it helps to get your responses 🙂

I hope this never happens to anybody.

Question:

I need to return his laptop and his clothes are with me.

With the anger I feel now, I could break that laptop on his head, but I decided to be civilized about it.


When I return his items, do you think I should tell him that I know everything, or shall I just give everything back and just turn and walk away without a word?

I haven't decided yet.

Well, this is unlikely to help you too, but your story helps me in some ways. Just knowing that when something doesn't feel right...its probably not. I always say you're better off knowing its NOT going to happen than hanging in limbo.
Thats pure torture.

One other thing...the great thing about being 'involved' with someone that doesn't give you the attention you want is that they make other guys who are attentive and kind look REALLY good! 😄

I'd personally turn and walk away without saying a word. I don't think you'll ever find the right words to explain how upset you are so I'd hate to see you regret anything you did or didn't say.

i'm just realizing. I have to be careful with dates.



I'm all fucked up.. can't think straight anymore.

He keeps calling me, but I can't pick up now.

Waht shall I do?


see him tonight and give his stuff back or best to wait?

I'd see him tonight! Get it out of your system as quickly as you can! Don't drag it out. Its just going to eat at you.

I have a plan

Will put my all-smiles photo on his MSN and write as the daily note: I love her


sweet revenge 😛

ok i'm not going to.. too psychotic nevermind. I should just cool my wheels for today

WoW... there is definitely something wrong with his head. How did I didn't see this—


I was on a phone convo for the past hour with him... believe me, IT WAS NOT PRETTY! he kept continuing and continuing.. apologizing... oh love blahh blah blah. His EXCUSE—


He says, he is on medication. He has too many problems. He doesn't want me to leave— Please FUm please....

for a moment I was truly speechless... he is a sick man!


Tomorrow, I told him... you and I will make up a place you can come and pick up your stuff. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. Thank your blessings I am a civilized person. I'm giving your stuff back. After tomorrow, I'm going out of town.. am not here.

He asked, where are you going? Perhaps I can come with you... :::rolling eyes:::

Posted by amethyst2002
Good. He pulls shit like this because it's worked before. Stick by your guns and prove that it won't work anymore.

thank you, Amethyst 😄

you've been such wonderful support... I love Aries girls 😄

you girls are tough nut to crack

well... my turn now 🙂


wow... even after all that bullshit, I should get back to reading those messages, because my mind seems to blank them out. I don't want to continue being a fool anymore.

lol.. the funny part is, he threatened that he will forget about me alltogether. I said, pffff... what do you think I'm doing? I am moving on from some crack head like you ... I hope I am better at picking someone more stable in his head. Good luck to you whatever way you want to use it. you are not MY problem anymore.


uff... breathing out

This doesn't surprise me at all. I know nothing of you and your history with him, but I know enough about Capricorn males and this is all too familiar to be completely honest.

I don't think you should have blown up at him for the simple fact that that type of reaction doesn't make them feel anything. When you bring him his stuff try to be as calm as possible and, if you can, calmly tell him how disappointed you are to find out who he really is. Tell him that all of this time you thought you had finally met someone worth something, but he actually turned out to be worse then the others because atleast they don't hide the dogs they are. To get to a Cap, you have to make him feel bad without the emotion, and the drama..plus you gotta make it quick. No long stories. Just dog him out as if you no longer see him in that "light" and give him something to think about.

I hope you feel better and dont let this ruin your Christmas.

Okay ... and he I thought this was a thread about good news :/

Posted by M
Leave him out to dry. Waste no more on him

Best answer and its short & sweet too.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
I just don't see the point of her trying to save face or try to make a lasting impression on him. You'd think after all that she's already done has been enough. If it's not, onto the next.

Why do we bend and change ourselves and our natural reactions just to try to appeal to a man, or to get through to him? As far gone as this is, why are we still telling her how she should have reacted to make a lasting impression on him? Why should she even care what he thinks of her at this point?

I'm just sayin... lol

Anytime I've been betrayed in the past, all that shit goes out the window. I couldn't give a fuck less what a man thinks of me if he's proven himself not to be worthy of me, or whether he feels bad or not. He's been doing this all along and hasn't gave two shits. Why should she want that to change now? It's not going to benefit her at all.

I just don't get why we're still making it about him, when she should just be focusing on doing whatever it takes to heal herself. Even if that means spaz out, cry a little. Curse somebody out..beat the shit out the steering wheel. Eat a tub of ice cream. LOL

Whatever makes her feel better at that moment, or lets some of that steam off. It's all about her at this point. Fuck him! LOL

I'm not sure if this is a bit directed towards my post, but what I posted had nothing to do with her being a Scorpio and definitely nothing to do with her making a lasting impression. I posted that for women in general dealing with Caps. I would think that getting him where it hurts would be a part of blowing that fuse, and making him feel bad in the process.

Posted by ellessque
I'm sorry. I can't hold my tongue. I know I'll get totally flamed for this. whatever.

I find the whole laptop situation suspect. Especially with the display of "I love you" that preceded this whole incident.

The timing was too coincidental for me to swallow. He's not stupid. He knows you'd look thru every single membrane of that laptop. Don't for a minute think he was the oblivious to any of this. He probably played out the scenerio in his mind before he handed it to you.

Do you know what I hear?
"Okay, Fum, you say you love me. Do you REALLY love me? Well, look at what a douche I am. Still love me now? I told you I was a douche, I acted like a douche, I even treated you like a douche but you insisted....so here *hands over the douche evidence*. So, what is this word called 'love' to you, really?"

These guys don't wear their darkest moments on their sleeves and in public. Let's say...like an Aries, perhaps?

They have dark, ugly, unattractive "secrets". At least that is what they think they are. They go thru such great lengths to mask them from the public that I believe if you force the emotional overload, like the "I love you" incident they will most definatley feel emasculated, like capguy reiterated on a previous post.

They want unconditional love. no conditions. no rules. no boundaries. period.

If you don't want to provide that, I understand. But that is what they want and if they can match what you want....then hey, what's the problem?

You just have to be aware of what you are getting yourself into, that's all.

*dodging bullets*

I'm not sure if that's what's going on in his mind, but I do think Caps are waaayyyy too secretive to hand over something with all of that on it. Now that does indeed seem suspicious, but I still run and don't look back.

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by FUMRedFairy_tales

He says, he is on medication. He has too many problems. He doesn't want me to leave— Please FUm please....

for a moment I was truly speechless... he is a sick man!



He asked, where are you going? Perhaps I can come with you... :::rolling eyes:::

Nuh uh, don't even consider it. He doesn't respect you FUM. I don't even think you're angry yet. You need to get angry otherwise you're going to want to believe this bullshit he's feeding you.

Remember, men can only do what we allow. He did it once, shame on him. But if you allow him to do it again, shame on you. You won't be able to say you didn't know he was a piece of shit. It's all obvious. He's using you FUM.. he's nothing more than a parasite. Cut that bitch off life support.

Tell him if he's sick to call his flock of bitches & have them take care of him.

click to expand

Very well said, QuietStorm, he doesn't respect me. Or let's say, he wasn't respecting me.

I agree, he was using me. I should just constantly remind myself WHY i should never give him the benefit of the doubt EVER again.


Today he didn't call for his stuff...

i'm not going to run after him to give his stuff back.

Posted by tooseriouslol
if i remember it correctly, this arsehole has been an arsehole for years already before FUM fell for him this time again (or again again? not sure. i lost track). i seem to remember i read the same stuff about him more than twice before.

you remember it correctly, tooserious... it's the same arsehole

Posted by lnana04
This doesn't surprise me at all. I know nothing of you and your history with him, but I know enough about Capricorn males and this is all too familiar to be completely honest.

I don't think you should have blown up at him for the simple fact that that type of reaction doesn't make them feel anything. When you bring him his stuff try to be as calm as possible and, if you can, calmly tell him how disappointed you are to find out who he really is. Tell him that all of this time you thought you had finally met someone worth something, but he actually turned out to be worse then the others because atleast they don't hide the dogs they are. To get to a Cap, you have to make him feel bad without the emotion, and the drama..plus you gotta make it quick. No long stories. Just dog him out as if you no longer see him in that "light" and give him something to think about.

I hope you feel better and dont let this ruin your Christmas.

I acted the way you just described the first time around when he cheated on me.

Posted by FUMRedFairy_tales

Posted by lnana04
This doesn't surprise me at all. I know nothing of you and your history with him, but I know enough about Capricorn males and this is all too familiar to be completely honest.

I don't think you should have blown up at him for the simple fact that that type of reaction doesn't make them feel anything. When you bring him his stuff try to be as calm as possible and, if you can, calmly tell him how disappointed you are to find out who he really is. Tell him that all of this time you thought you had finally met someone worth something, but he actually turned out to be worse then the others because atleast they don't hide the dogs they are. To get to a Cap, you have to make him feel bad without the emotion, and the drama..plus you gotta make it quick. No long stories. Just dog him out as if you no longer see him in that "light" and give him something to think about.

I hope you feel better and dont let this ruin your Christmas.

I acted the way you just described the first time around when he cheated on me.

click to expand

Oh, so the two of you have been down this road before I see. Well the whole point in confronting him in the manner and tone that I mentioned, and that you did before, was to keep forward and not look back. Going back lifted the guilt and can put in the mind of a Cap that the next time he just has to be more careful. I hope that this time gives you the opportunity to really see that there is no changing him, and I hope that things work out better for you. He really is not worth anymore time.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
I just don't see the point of her trying to save face or try to make a lasting impression on him. You'd think after all that she's already done has been enough. If it's not, onto the next.

Why do we bend and change ourselves and our natural reactions just to try to appeal to a man, or to get through to him? As far gone as this is, why are we still telling her how she should have reacted to make a lasting impression on him? Why should she even care what he thinks of her at this point?

I'm just sayin... lol

Anytime I've been betrayed in the past, all that shit goes out the window. I couldn't give a fuck less what a man thinks of me if he's proven himself not to be worthy of me, or whether he feels bad or not. He's been doing this all along and hasn't gave two shits. Why should she want that to change now? It's not going to benefit her at all.

I just don't get why we're still making it about him, when she should just be focusing on doing whatever it takes to heal herself. Even if that means spaz out, cry a little. Curse somebody out..beat the shit out the steering wheel. Eat a tub of ice cream. LOL

Whatever makes her feel better at that moment, or lets some of that steam off. It's all about her at this point. Fuck him! LOL

That's how I thought yesterday exactly.


LOL... I did all the spaz out, cry a little, curse somebody, ..lol didn't do the steering wheel 😛 (couldn't trust myself going out on the road) but i ate a tub of ice cream 😛 lol I only realized it in the morning though.

The steam had to get off. I can't pretend anymore, it's not good for my health that I kept it in me just to leave an impression. I see it as over. I don't give a shit what he thinks about me anymore because he hasn't made the best of thoughts for me anyway. He may as well get to see the real me. Because if I am trying to continue being nice to this guy... believe me... he will put me into the stupid chick file. WHICH he did in the past.

I came with EVERYTHING possibly. Now was the time to get it all out. I told him he never excused himself after cheating on me... he said, please excuse me ...lol I asked, WHY did you do it? He asked, when that was. 2 years ago. He said, I don't remember why i did it.

see... that was simple. He said, but I'm sorry. I stopped looking for other women. I don't want to do th

oh wow... it's cut. I didn't save the text. anyway

we came back together the beginning of this year, inana. For about 5 months. Then he disappeared. Never answered my calls or returned my emails.

He called me end of September again. I wasn't nice to him. We had a good big fight on the phone ... then he made himself back into my life until end of October. Then I just found out yesterday, the ex gf had visited him in his apartment. He got back in touch with me just 2nd of December. 1 MONTH he was quiet. I had my parents with me and I thought he feels embarrassed bothering me with parent.

He wanted to invite my parents for dinner, which I declined. So I guess he got back in touch with the old gf, who he calls a slut. But when he told me that she sleeps with his neighbour downstairs, I thought WoW... he is sick in his head. I can't listen to this guy anymore.

He said, he is afraid of getting a disease from her because she sleeps with everybody.

WHY ME—? Why do you involve me each and every time?? I said, you are trying to make you ex girlfriend jealous with me... he's done it before.


anyway... good that I'm writing this all out, because I don't want to feel the slightest remorse. He just called. Am going to leave soon to give his stuff back.