Texting first on the 3rd or 4th time, for ladies

Because the other thread got deleted just as I was responding....

I dont understand. What are you asking?

someone is taking the evidence away lol

I still feel better if the man pursues, but some women may be looking for other things.

Posted by CapriLady
I still feel better if the man pursues, but some women may be looking for other things.

I agree with this, I am not comfortable with starting the texting...

I posted on another thread that I waited for a gentleman to text me 3 times before I texted him first.

I think this was misunderstood and I was called cruel.
So I will clarify what I meant.

Firstly, any man that I gave my number out to while dating, I wanted to call or text me.
When they texted or called me, I always responded as soon as I got it.
If I missed their call, I would call them right back.

I simply did not text them first. After every 3 texts I received, I felt free to text first.
So, a gentleman who texts me good morning, then another text later, then maybe a good morning the next day would get a good morning text first the third day.
I did not ignore them, at all.

This worked for me. The only 2 men who complained were:
1) an Aquarius- he obviously was just interested in sex. Had 1 date with him. Found out later that he was pursuing another lady at the same time who thought they were exclusive at the time.
2) a Capricorn who offended me so much I never even met him in person.

There were a few who did not complain but gave up quickly. I wouldn't want a guy like that anyway.

Anyway,this strategy worked for me, like I said before. I never was accused of bothering anyone and I never ran anyone out of town. No one ever called me a clinger either.
Men respected it, and I assure you they did not think it was rude or strange.

I mention it because some people on here text men too much. Then they get upset when they never hear from the person again. Just trying to help.

Posted by trashedbliss
I dont understand. What are you asking?

It took ,e a few minutes to write my response. Lol. I didn't want it first.

There were a few who flatly thought I was not interested in them. But they didn't stick around long enough to find out anything about me, or for me to really get to know them either. So perhaps it was they who just weren't interested.

All I know is, the interested parties persisted in getting to know me. I didn't waste time on men who didn't really want or take the time to get to know me properly.

If I didn't hear from them for a few days, I pretty much knew they were gone. But it was ok, because I wasn't so invested yet anyway.

Men love to pursue, it's a good thing to let them. If they don't pursue as much as you would like, it's a sign, it means they aren't interested and you can move on.

Good Advice, Thanks!

I agree with capgirl! I'm the same way.

Its not a game. It allows the man to chase and the women to be persued. It allows a man to miss her and helps him develop feelings or a sense of investment. Men like to work for what they want.

I had a conversation with some of my single male friends (all ages). When asked about how they felt about the girls that constantly texted and called them say it doesn't matter, they like it and chemistry is chemistry - it's either there or its not. So, I asked how many of those girls do they actually date and take seriously. The answer I got from the majority was "uh...." So I said "Exactly! The only ones I've noticed you take seriously are the ones that you have to chase". Reluctantly, they agreed. And, they aknowledged they were more likely to offer a FWB with those girls and wouldn't dare offer that to one they had to chase.

So, ladies, keep that in mind. Give our tactic a try.

And when they do contact you, be happy to hear from them and let them know you liked hearing from them. THAT right there encourages them to keep contacting you and lets them know you're interested.

No, it's not a game. Its called self respect and non-needy and the guy doesn't feel like he's being chased.

I will admit, I'm from an older generation and that probably influences my attitude and tactics, but these guys I talked to ranged from 22 to 50 and I talked to about 6-7 to get a consensus. And I am admitting that different guys have different thoughts and I didn't talk to enough to get a real statistic, but if you ask around you'll probably come up with the same data.

We need a sample of at least 30 to determine and statistical significance 😛

?? *and=any

True. But that's all the single guys I know. lol!!!
But I wanted to toss that out there anyway.

🙂

I don't go by any steadfast rules per say, I will often wait before responding to a text though or calling someone back.

I'm good for engaging though, but I personally don't chase (e.g., emailed the Aries about getting together for drinks after he had visited me in my office daily for about a month, then left it up to him). I don't like men who "chase" either, they come across as needy to me. So, I can imagine that a man would feel the same way. If you're texting me left and right, I'll feel exhausted and it just screams desperate or just horny - don't want either TYVM.

I drunk texted the Aries one night early on a string of texts about how enamored I was with him and he told me the next day I scared him LOL.