Vulnerability

When you do take off a shield and allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable with someone, do you feel insecure about it later? Isn't that a cap thing?

patiently waiting for some responses 😛

Posted by truecap
When you do take off a shield and allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable with someone, do you feel insecure about it later? Isn't that a cap thing?

Truecap - my capi does this ! When he opens up he hugs me tight like I'm the only thing that can stop him from drowning. Then the next day he disappears like he needs time to think about what he did and withdraws.. Recently he told me I was fantastic and then withdraws lol.
Any ways I may have blown it as I told him to stop and make a decision on something we were tryn to work out (minor thing really) but he's being sooo long winded about it
Apparently it's meant to be a surprise.. Sorry for going off topic

This is a great question. I think it takes time to trust people. Sometimes, I pull back. I admit it. I'm a very safe gambler as well. I don't risk my emotions unnecessarily. A more outgoing sign can open up a Capricorn over time. Very true. I have also been surprised by how Capricorns understand one another; the friendship feels familiar. I feel very close to a cousin who is a Cancer, and I have difficulty with my Sagittarius cousin at times even though we are closer in age. I'm pretty sure the Sagittarius must have some Virgo or Capricorn prominent in her chart though, because we are both very quiet and still at times. My Cancerian cousin is very nurturing and true to her astrological sun sign as well. I think it would take a new person a long time to really get to know me, if we weren't related in some way or if there wasn't a basis for mutual understanding.

Alright. Direct answer then, "yes." Good question.

I opened up and admitted some vulnerabilities and told someone how upset I was by something that happened - uninvited drama. I was calm and cool when it happened, but inside and afterward I was extremely upset. They were there for me, came over. I was rather collected but admitted to being so upset. Now I just feel insecure about it and regret sharing. I'm trying to look at it as friendship has to build and this could be a supporting beam.

I think we withdraw because we want to be reassured by the other party that they still want to be friends with us and still want us around— Any other capricornians feel the same way?

I don't withdraw because of it, but I definitely get a "dread" feeling and I hold my breath, thinking they will leave me.

But I think it's all in our heads, because I will tell people, "I'm sorry for being so emotional" and they shrug and say they didn't notice I was being overly emotional.

I cried last week on the phone with Mr. Scorp. I felt like such a loser. But he still calls me, and I've seen him at least 3 times since. Lol.

That's a good point. I could apply this to the people in my life who occasionally add drama. Perhaps, they are also looking for reassurance that they are likeable exactly as they are...I can consider that possibility when I'm not upset. Yeah, you're right. Friendships need to be built, and this takes time. No wonder I move so slowly sometimes...

Oh, that's brave CapGirl69. I hate admitting to crying. And your Scorpion still accepts you...love that.

Posted by capgirl69
I don't withdraw because of it, but I definitely get a "dread" feeling and I hold my breath, thinking they will leave me.

But I think it's all in our heads, because I will tell people, "I'm sorry for being so emotional" and they shrug and say they didn't notice I was being overly emotional.

I cried last week on the phone with Mr. Scorp. I felt like such a loser. But he still calls me, and I've seen him at least 3 times since. Lol.

Aw. I so understand. I constantly "lose" things, get lost, jupiter/neptune influence i guess....and even important things/items get lost, like keys ect and i end up crying and sobbing. I call up my hubby that i've lost this or forget and lose my way and he still loves me no matter how ditzy and utterly useless i can be. People that will love you for you, your flaws and vulnerabilities are people you cherish. You're very lucky to find your guy.

Good point CapriSea. Every once in a while my mother create a big mess, especially in her relationships, but i do think its her way of saying "this is me, im human..im not perfect" and also testing if that person will leave or stay.

Truecap, I get very insecure after expressing myself in any way honestly. I think its a Cap thing to think about the consequences, and sometimes being vulnerable, or even expressing yourself in other ways, can lead to other things like in this situation you worrying about the friendship, or worrying what that person is REALLY thinking even after they've reassured you. Id even worry about if they now feel they have to censor their words and actions around me. Theres a darn consequence for everything smh.

Hi TC! My Cap used to keep things from me and not allow himself to be vulnerable in my presence. But once he fell truly and deeply in love with me that all changed. I had earned his loyalty and trust so now he is emotionally free to be vulnerable to me and I support and comfort him through the process. Even when he might try to hide his vulnerability my Pisces' intuition already knows what's up and I will give him time to sort it out before coming to me or before I confront him about it which is usually because I hate to see him without peace of mind. He tells me I am the person he trusts the most in the world because I have never betrayed him or his trust even when he betrayed me and mine years ago. This is an alpha male of the highest order who has cried in my arms like a baby when he's been hurt by life and he can do this because it takes nothing away from his manhood but rather makes him even more of a man.

lol i was about to say im comfortable with vulnerability, but lol i have so much locked away that i'll never find the need to dig back up for the rest of my life. so for me it's not really an issue.

IF i were to bring it up and share it with someone, in all likeliness, that someone is already going to be someone that i've probably trusted for years with my life at that point. in which case i can imagine how naked yet liberated i would feel.

it's not so much an issue of me being scared to share it. it's a need to know thing. if a deserving audience were curious enough to even ask, id probably feel very comfortable just sharing it. but im not gonna volunteer it. its sacred information and few people seem to realize they have the keys to the temple.

i guess im talking specifically about my history.

my feelings... eh, i try to be open about those. unless i'm unsure of them myself, i have no problem opening up emotionally. i actually think i'm a stronger person when openly owning up to my feelings and then backing them up regardless of what the rest of the world thinks or feels.

when sharing my feelings to someone i'm in-like or in-love with... i get a crazy thrill out of that. vulnerability in that respect is a literal physical and emotional high. and im not even talking about the high you get when you are mutually in-love and on cloud nine. i'm talking about that moment when you've put it out there and there's the possibility that you'll be rejected.

emotions are hard for everyone to deal with...

i consider myself to be a little emotionally brave. i notice other people get uncomfortable when i share things sometimes because they dont know how to react... many people really dont know how to react. i think it's unfortunate, but at the same time... it's just as human as emoting. it begs another emotional response.

i think i'm just a cap anomaly when it comes to vulnerability ...me and my pisces moon.

side note... i think my scorp ex secretly loves it when i cry. srsly. i think he loves knowing how deeply i feel. he becomes very caring and sensitive with me. and well... i once cried during make-up sex and he went nuts... in a fetishistic way.

Vulnerability is the greatest virtue one can have. It is a release of fear and an embracing of freedom.
Best emotional orgasm I've ever had.

Well, thank you. You are right. I'm not a big fan of walking around vulnerable, but within those contexts...why yes, that's awesome.

Posted by capgirl69
I don't withdraw because of it, but I definitely get a "dread" feeling and I hold my breath, thinking they will leave me.

But I think it's all in our heads, because I will tell people, "I'm sorry for being so emotional" and they shrug and say they didn't notice I was being overly emotional.

I cried last week on the phone with Mr. Scorp. I felt like such a loser. But he still calls me, and I've seen him at least 3 times since. Lol.

You've got a good one!! Yay for Mr Scorp!

Posted by WoundedLeo

Posted by CapriSea73
Oh, that's brave CapGirl69. I hate admitting to crying. And your Scorpion still accepts you...love that.

If someone cries on my shoulder, I love them even more because they've shown me how human they are.

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That's what I love about Leo's!

Thanks yall. I do feel better now. I just shared way to much of myself with someone I've only known for a year. So, we'll see what happens. Can't redo what's been done.

Posted by WoundedLeo

Posted by truecap

Posted by WoundedLeo

Posted by CapriSea73
Oh, that's brave CapGirl69. I hate admitting to crying. And your Scorpion still accepts you...love that.

If someone cries on my shoulder, I love them even more because they've shown me how human they are.

That's what I love about Leo's!

That's probably what we love most about you Caps...that moment of vulnerability that you show us makes us fall in love with you forever.

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Appreciate it, because it's rare! 🙂

hmm... good question.. and a hard one.
The cappy in me makes me react like a cold, hard, non vulnerable person but it lasts for like 5 mins. Then my pisces moon takes over because i wear my heart on my sleeve.

I can't even stay mad at someone for longer than half a day.

Being an earth sign with watery emotions.. is a little tough. i become a tough cookie and then i break down and the waterworks start. the vulnerable side will come out.. and then i'll be emotional for a bit.
but its a good thing to still have a bit of toughness because I don't become overly emotional.

OMG... i'm such a confused sign. lol

Posted by BalmyTigress
What about the other way around? If someone shows their vulnerability to a Capricorn, does the Cap perceive it as a weakness or do they become uncomfortable?

People are always coming to me to talk about problems and get advice. I respect how much effort and pain it takes to be vulnerable and appreciate that they trust me with this. It actually does make you closer in relationships. I will admit that with a lot of tears and emotion, I do emphasize, but I don't always know what to do or say. But I try. I hug, I cuss the SOB that made this happen, I love, I plot revenge, I support - whatever they need to do to feel better.

I don't see it as a weakness unless they keep making the same mistakes over and over.

Posted by EusiveSoulll

Posted by xdimplez

Posted by WoundedLeo

Posted by CapriSea73
Oh, that's brave CapGirl69. I hate admitting to crying. And your Scorpion still accepts you...love that.

If someone cries on my shoulder, I love them even more because they've shown me how human they are.

+1

+ a million

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Yeah, love that about Pisces, too!

Posted by truecap

Posted by BalmyTigress
What about the other way around? If someone shows their vulnerability to a Capricorn, does the Cap perceive it as a weakness or do they become uncomfortable?

People are always coming to me to talk about problems and get advice. I respect how much effort and pain it takes to be vulnerable and appreciate that they trust me with this. It actually does make you closer in relationships. I will admit that with a lot of tears and emotion, I do emphasize, but I don't always know what to do or say. But I try. I hug, I cuss the SOB that made this happen, I love, I plot revenge, I support - whatever they need to do to feel better.

I don't see it as a weakness unless they keep making the same mistakes over and over.

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Hmmmm....I should step back and look at this from the other person's point of view. It's not that bad to be vulnerable. Good call Balmy!!!

But, depending on the situation, someone that's too emotional, over the top, nonstop crying for hours -- eh! I kinda feel like screaming at them to get themselves together so you can discuss it. Feel like they neet to think logically instead of emotionally. Emotions okay for a bit, but dry it up and get it together and be logical.

Posted by BalmyTigress
Someone once said that the world has a way of rewarding those who show vulnerability. I think they were right.

Showing vulnerability *is* hard, though it could be harder for some and easier for others. I think intimacy goes hand in hand with vulnerability. You can't have true intimacy unless you open up and allow another person to reside in your personal space, but you are going to be vulnerable during that time. Same goes when showing that you need the other person.

Crying alone isn't necessarily a sign of vulnerability (nor weakness). Some people use emotions to manipulate others and a lot of those people don't even know that they're doing it. Or someone's ego got trampled on and it hurts. But to truly show vulnerability and enjoy that would mean that the other person would be able to accept it as well and become a bit vulnerable themselves. Hence the question. If I start to reveal my hopes and dreams and fears to my Cap, then I'm wondering if he would enjoy that or if he would freak out. What if I would shed tears during sex?

I honestly think that the Caps would be better at handling those situations than us Aquarians :-)

Start with the hopes and dreams, preferably on the career and financial front first. Then gradually introduce more. Then after more intimacy is shared, you can begin on the fears. Just my thoughts.