wagtail
@wagtail
13 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 1648 · Posts: 8305 · Topics: 67
whhhaaaaaaaattttttttt is going on
Yeah, it's been a few good years that's for sure. I hardly know myself at the moment, it's a strange 'un...
People probably don't know cos I didn't jump on here with a 'how do i get him back' thread lol
Cos I don't want him back, but I do want to know how to navigate a break up like this.
Lotta shit went down, it was not fun. And things like this are making it feel surreal. He isn't trying to get me back either just so you know.
We both feel pretty final about it.
I just don't get some of his behavior.
like I am hatin' on this guy big time in a text to him- really pokin' the bear you know, for a reaction and just givin' it to him for what he did... and he's responding in kind.
Just angry, bull headed, caps lock on yelly stuff.
And then BOOM he's liking everything on my Facebook page- and it's like- we were one of those couples who you wouldn't even know we were together or friends online...
no Facebook relationship status, no posting together, with each other or anything like that- so it's really odd. After four and a half years...
Cos I don't want him back, but I do want to know how to navigate a break up like this.
Lotta shit went down, it was not fun. And things like this are making it feel surreal. He isn't trying to get me back either just so you know.
We both feel pretty final about it.
I just don't get some of his behavior.
like I am hatin' on this guy big time in a text to him- really pokin' the bear you know, for a reaction and just givin' it to him for what he did... and he's responding in kind.
Just angry, bull headed, caps lock on yelly stuff.
And then BOOM he's liking everything on my Facebook page- and it's like- we were one of those couples who you wouldn't even know we were together or friends online...
no Facebook relationship status, no posting together, with each other or anything like that- so it's really odd. After four and a half years...
Posted by Kodak375Well yeah, we did live together, we had a cosy lovely little homely place filled with our things and pets and a garden in our fave suburb.Posted by wagtailDid you guys live together? What now?
Yeah, it's been a few good years that's for sure. I hardly know myself at the moment, it's a strange 'un...click to expand
it was the result of a few years of planning and living together at his parents and at my old original place...
I kicked him out- same day I found out what he did and he didn't fight it.
*shrugs*
our hearts were truly broken, but that's not a helpful approach for me to take right now...
It seems good that you both are on the same page and that he isn't causing too much trouble post break up. At least that's what it seems like to me.
Maybe he's having a hard time coping as well and he shows that through the fb stuff?
4 years is a long time to some people, so I think it would be good to start setting boundaries and separating yourself emotionally from him. i see some people who have been together that long break up but they still hang out and everything looks as if they could still be dating. im sure you're getting your shit together though. Anyway, good luck.
Maybe he's having a hard time coping as well and he shows that through the fb stuff?
4 years is a long time to some people, so I think it would be good to start setting boundaries and separating yourself emotionally from him. i see some people who have been together that long break up but they still hang out and everything looks as if they could still be dating. im sure you're getting your shit together though. Anyway, good luck.
Thanks bud, appreciate the offer and the sentiment ~
^^thanks was for Kodak there~ sorry
cheers Scenic, yeah, our actions are speaking louder than our words (or texts as the case may be) definitely. It's not all bad for sure.
He's still paying rent, and he's given me all the "stuff" that we've amassed or bought together over the years etc I mean it's really vital this is a clean break, and in a way doing that means he hasn't been back to our house you know- so that's good. Of course if he ever asks for anything at all that he needs or wants I will give it to him no question, what ever he wants- it's stuff we both acquired so he has a right to it also... But it is just stuff, material crap, not important when I think about what we just cut loose.
There is no denying the pain is still a process of venting and accusations and recriminations on my end at the moment.
Very much a new learning curve for me. I haven't been betrayed or let down in a relationship like this before so I'm just discovering what I'm capable of over the last couple of weeks.
Trying to be dignified and stuff is exhausting in it's own way :/ I know he's suffered too, so it's taking time.
But yeah, the Facebook thing was just a bit- ....weird...
cheers Scenic, yeah, our actions are speaking louder than our words (or texts as the case may be) definitely. It's not all bad for sure.
He's still paying rent, and he's given me all the "stuff" that we've amassed or bought together over the years etc I mean it's really vital this is a clean break, and in a way doing that means he hasn't been back to our house you know- so that's good. Of course if he ever asks for anything at all that he needs or wants I will give it to him no question, what ever he wants- it's stuff we both acquired so he has a right to it also... But it is just stuff, material crap, not important when I think about what we just cut loose.
There is no denying the pain is still a process of venting and accusations and recriminations on my end at the moment.
Very much a new learning curve for me. I haven't been betrayed or let down in a relationship like this before so I'm just discovering what I'm capable of over the last couple of weeks.
Trying to be dignified and stuff is exhausting in it's own way :/ I know he's suffered too, so it's taking time.
But yeah, the Facebook thing was just a bit- ....weird...
Hi Wagtail, sorry if i missed it but what was the reason for the breakup? Did he do something?
Posted by SunMoonStars
Hi Wagtail, sorry if i missed it but what was the reason for the breakup? Did he do something?
Heya sun!
How are youuuu, yeah, he did - he did somethin somethin lol
Let's just say it involved two hookers at a brothel aaaaand an ice pipe.
Sounds like the beginning of a terrible joke, but I really haven't been laughing very much lately 😢
Anyway, that's the reason I kicked him out of our home yes. Yes I think that was the right thing to do.
No I don't feel completely blameless and yes it takes two people to build and two people to tear down a partnership.
So. Yeah...
Posted by ImpulsvOooooooh that's tough. Too tough...oh ouch... I dunno... I threw his clothes out the window and booted his ass out the door. I don't think I'm weak- but I don't know if I wana do that.
Maybe let him know that you will be cutting him off fb.
It's a bit social media drama -look at me move. We've kept it on the down low for a number of reasons. Mostly self respect and it's nobody's business.
So status quo online is good for me. Like I said we were never one of those couples so no one will notice unless I do remove him.
I did block him first week of the SHTF just in case.
I still speak to his mama and his younger brother like every day.. They're fam you know? That's gotta end soon damn
I don't want it to get all ExWars about it.
I don't mind him liking my shit, it's the context that had me thinkin' -he's a Scorp Moon too, so I wonder lol cue Jaws theme song Dundun Dundun dundundundun Dddduuuuunnnn!!!!
Sorry to hear that, i sent you a PM.
Posted by tizianiHehe aww Tiz it's not all bad.
Man, this blows. Everyone is breaking up.
Here's to new beginnings I say! It's all about a fresh start 🙂 gotta keep our collective chin up x
Posted by wagtailI keep up with my ex out of pure nosiness, hoping for evidence that I'm doing better than he is.
My ex Cap and I are at loggerheads every five minutes at the moment, (broke up about two weeks or so ago)
fighting via text and then radio silence for a day at most - then back to texting amicably then fighting- it's just bizarre.
We say things you would think are like the ultimate not nice things to each other and I think well that's it. Bridge burned.
And then I log in to Facebook for a bit of down time and he's liked my profile pic, my cover photo, my status update and a picture I shared...
It's just weird to me after I've just sent him like a ten page text equivalent of rage-ness and hurt, and he's rage texted back "go away" lol
and then I turn my mind to other things and he's all over my online presence like a rash...
Anyone? Is it a Cap thing or just crazy boy thing.
*scorpio venus here, though*
Posted by wagtailIt might be best to delete him and/or block him on facebook.
People probably don't know cos I didn't jump on here with a 'how do i get him back' thread lol
Cos I don't want him back, but I do want to know how to navigate a break up like this.
Lotta shit went down, it was not fun. And things like this are making it feel surreal. He isn't trying to get me back either just so you know.
We both feel pretty final about it.
I just don't get some of his behavior.
like I am hatin' on this guy big time in a text to him- really pokin' the bear you know, for a reaction and just givin' it to him for what he did... and he's responding in kind.
Just angry, bull headed, caps lock on yelly stuff.
And then BOOM he's liking everything on my Facebook page- and it's like- we were one of those couples who you wouldn't even know we were together or friends online...
no Facebook relationship status, no posting together, with each other or anything like that- so it's really odd. After four and a half years...
I'm sorry about the breakup, though. I thought yall would be together forever. 😢
Posted by CaploveMy dearest Caplove thanks for the hugs, I do rather need 'em lol
Wagtail! ((Hugs to you)) I'm sorry about your breakup 😢 and yeesh.. he really messed up. Ugh..... Sounds to me like he feels really guilty for what happened, AS HE SHOULD. Anyway, there's not much else I can say but be strong and we're all here for you. What the hell was he thinking? Damn.
he's not a bad person, he's a recovering alcoholic and an addict and this behavior is a part of that. So he does feel guilty 😢
Posted by cheekyfaerieThat's what I kind of thought, the Aqua Venus lightens his disposition but the Scorp Moon is the dark horse lol
Hmm. Scorp moon's weird. Yeah, he fucked up and it's over, but that moon'll either ice you out in return or obsess. And obsess some more. Any shred of a connection you still have is something for it to hang onto. You arguing back at him in texts is probably the highlight of his day right now.
he's not icing out, he's warm and penitent and being the man and doing the right thing by me as best he can for the transition.
So I am grateful for that. It means our love wasn't for nothin', he was a good egg who made a big mistake and we gotta pay for it now is all...
Posted by Chance_11hey chance, thanks for the kind words buddy.
Sorry to hear about this, Wags. Betrayal of this magnitude is quite disheartening. It's tough in the moment but you'll be all the better for it in the long run when you find someone of more decent character down the road. A little time and distance will work wonders. You've always been a welcome addition to this room so feel free to keep us posted.click to expand
I cannot wait for time to take effect and the healing to begin. At the moment I'm watching the scab on my heart form lol
Posted by truecapHaha! So true, I love being a bit nosy... hehehePosted by wagtailI keep up with my ex out of pure nosiness, hoping for evidence that I'm doing better than he is.
My ex Cap and I are at loggerheads every five minutes at the moment, (broke up about two weeks or so ago)
fighting via text and then radio silence for a day at most - then back to texting amicably then fighting- it's just bizarre.
We say things you would think are like the ultimate not nice things to each other and I think well that's it. Bridge burned.
And then I log in to Facebook for a bit of down time and he's liked my profile pic, my cover photo, my status update and a picture I shared...
It's just weird to me after I've just sent him like a ten page text equivalent of rage-ness and hurt, and he's rage texted back "go away" lol
and then I turn my mind to other things and he's all over my online presence like a rash...
Anyone? Is it a Cap thing or just crazy boy thing.
*scorpio venus here, though*click to expand
I would LOVE to try dating a Scorp Venus one day! I recently met a Scorp Venus boy and he's got that sumthin sumthin very alluring.
Maybe in about a decade, I'll be ready to meet someone again >_
Posted by BlackMambaHahaha I wish it was that simple Mambajams x
And why do men do this to women who saved them. That ride or die?
It's like you have to be a complete selfish bytch for them to stay loyal
I'm quite ready to flick the bitch-switch if I thought it would actually pay off... but I don't think all men are like that.
I live in hope!
Posted by cheekyfaerieHaha oh cheeky, I hope he is a youPosted by wagtailOh, god... he's a me. Take care of yourself. We're truly horrible, at our worst. :/Posted by cheekyfaerieThat's what I kind of thought, the Aqua Venus lightens his disposition but the Scorp Moon is the dark horse lol
Hmm. Scorp moon's weird. Yeah, he fucked up and it's over, but that moon'll either ice you out in return or obsess. And obsess some more. Any shred of a connection you still have is something for it to hang onto. You arguing back at him in texts is probably the highlight of his day right now.
he's not icing out, he's warm and penitent and being the man and doing the right thing by me as best he can for the transition.
So I am grateful for that. It means our love wasn't for nothin', he was a good egg who made a big mistake and we gotta pay for it now is all...click to expand
hahaha no no guys- Vanish, this man loved me, he fucked up.
And the only solution is for this to end.
He wants this to end and I want this to end. And we will muddle through to the end.
He loves me to the point where he knows he is not good for me, he hurt me and he never wants to hurt me again. So there is no fear of him jumping on the hood of my car (crikey that must've been craycray) or overstepping his boundaries.
He is too ashamed of himself and too sorry for what he did.
We are learning a lot from this...
I haven't forgiven him, yet, but one day I will.
And the only solution is for this to end.
He wants this to end and I want this to end. And we will muddle through to the end.
He loves me to the point where he knows he is not good for me, he hurt me and he never wants to hurt me again. So there is no fear of him jumping on the hood of my car (crikey that must've been craycray) or overstepping his boundaries.
He is too ashamed of himself and too sorry for what he did.
We are learning a lot from this...
I haven't forgiven him, yet, but one day I will.
Posted by cheekyfaerieif you saw some of the things I've texted him you wouldn't say that.Posted by wagtailI wanna be you when I grow up. You're taking this so well. So... diplomatic.
hahaha no no guys- Vanish, this man loved me, he fucked up.
And the only solution is for this to end.
He wants this to end and I want this to end. And we will muddle through to the end.
He loves me to the point where he knows he is not good for me, he hurt me and he never wants to hurt me again. So there is no fear of him jumping on the hood of my car (crikey that must've been craycray) or overstepping his boundaries.
He is too ashamed of himself and too sorry for what he did.
We are learning a lot from this...
I haven't forgiven him, yet, but one day I will.click to expand
I love me some Dxp Cappies
Posted by wagtailsmh...another cheating man... nothing new to see here
hahaha no no guys- Vanish, this man loved me, he fucked up.
And the only solution is for this to end.
He wants this to end and I want this to end. And we will muddle through to the end.
He loves me to the point where he knows he is not good for me, he hurt me and he never wants to hurt me again. So there is no fear of him jumping on the hood of my car (crikey that must've been craycray) or overstepping his boundaries.
He is too ashamed of himself and too sorry for what he did.
We are learning a lot from this...
I haven't forgiven him, yet, but one day I will.
So, on top of the agreed rent which he is insisting continuing to pay, he just transferred $ 1000 into my account....
I texted him 'no no too much' and he sent back -I want to...
I texted him 'no no too much' and he sent back -I want to...
Oh it's for the electricity bill and the vet fees for our -my- bird. Plus a little extra...
Okay, all good.
Okay, all good.
Sorry to learn all this Wag. Hang in there! (((Hug)))
Posted by wagtailYoure too nice tell the bastard to send u 2G
So, on top of the agreed rent which he is insisting continuing to pay, he just transferred $ 1000 into my account....
I texted him 'no no too much' and he sent back -I want to...
It's all good kitten, it covers his half of a bill from before the breakup and some vet fees so I am happy to take it.
Otherwise I don't need more, so I don't want it 🙂
We weren't married or anything. I don't want his money.
Otherwise I don't need more, so I don't want it 🙂
We weren't married or anything. I don't want his money.
You're a strong woman and handling this so maturely. I know you said you sent him some not so nice texts, but you're entitled to that, considering the circumstance. 🙂
I admire you.
I admire you.
Okay so the breakup has progressed...
We have left most of the emotional shit-storm behind, helping each other out a lot with bills etc (read- he's been financially investing way more then when we were together even?)
Still keeping company occasionally, while adjusting to being alone most of the time.
I think it's telling that he still involves me in his writing process- I used to proof read everything and brain storm his script / story telling and he never read his own feedback after submitting: any advertising he was acting in or contracts and hours too:
He would get me to read the critique and put all the info into point form or however I liked - so he could digest it slowly.
And he just sent me another script today with the assessment attached which I duly read and made the usual notes and sent back so...
Yeah, I think it's nice to be on an even keel although we aren't romantically involved or anything like that.
I'm staying at his place tonight because my house has a power outage for the next couple of days/ indefinitely and I need to shower and charge my devices etc so he's vacating his room and letting me have the bed and en suite while he stays in the living room....
He's been working roughly 18hour days too, so I won't see him much while there, so shouldn't be too awkward
Love you Cappies x
We have left most of the emotional shit-storm behind, helping each other out a lot with bills etc (read- he's been financially investing way more then when we were together even?)
Still keeping company occasionally, while adjusting to being alone most of the time.
I think it's telling that he still involves me in his writing process- I used to proof read everything and brain storm his script / story telling and he never read his own feedback after submitting: any advertising he was acting in or contracts and hours too:
He would get me to read the critique and put all the info into point form or however I liked - so he could digest it slowly.
And he just sent me another script today with the assessment attached which I duly read and made the usual notes and sent back so...
Yeah, I think it's nice to be on an even keel although we aren't romantically involved or anything like that.
I'm staying at his place tonight because my house has a power outage for the next couple of days/ indefinitely and I need to shower and charge my devices etc so he's vacating his room and letting me have the bed and en suite while he stays in the living room....
He's been working roughly 18hour days too, so I won't see him much while there, so shouldn't be too awkward
Love you Cappies x
Wow.
I hope this works out how you would like it to, ultimately.
🙂
I hope this works out how you would like it to, ultimately.
🙂
Posted by MontgomeryWell Mont, cheers.
Wow.
I hope this works out how you would like it to, ultimately.
🙂
yeah we had a talk about everything.
The game plan is roughly this-
take year off/ apart, regroup in future in earnest, and consider some couples counselling if we still feel like there's anything to salvage...
So if the Loving Feeling is still there and he's worked out his shit, we will look at taking steps to rebuild.
Even if it's just another way to finalize the relationship and provide closure you know?
All of that is what we have discussed for now- but that can change - we may walk away completely by then if we are enjoying our single lives too much or meet someone else obviously lol
So it's really a long term plan but we aren't involved at all emotionally with each other until then- purely amicable at the moment. Pragmatic.
But it'snot much more then residual friendship for now-
Posted by wagtail
My ex Cap and I are at loggerheads every five minutes at the moment, (broke up about two weeks or so ago)
fighting via text and then radio silence for a day at most - then back to texting amicably then fighting- it's just bizarre.
We say things you would think are like the ultimate not nice things to each other and I think well that's it. Bridge burned.
And then I log in to Facebook for a bit of down time and he's liked my profile pic, my cover photo, my status update and a picture I shared...
It's just weird to me after I've just sent him like a ten page text equivalent of rage-ness and hurt, and he's rage texted back "go away" lol
and then I turn my mind to other things and he's all over my online presence like a rash...
Anyone? Is it a Cap thing or just crazy boy thing.
Are you a Leo and how old are you two?
Yes I'm a Leo, I'm 31years old- He's a Cap 35years old.
Together for 4.5years.
Anyways, that's over now and the topic is old- things have progressed my dear faith 🙂
Together for 4.5years.
Anyways, that's over now and the topic is old- things have progressed my dear faith 🙂
I use to bicker with my Cap friend all the time and he would never say anything back! That use to make me so mad!!! Last month I went out of town to see him and while we were lying in his bed I said some mean hurtful things. I haven't done that in a while but I felt like letting him have it. He didn't touch me at all afterwards. I said to myself I didn't ride close to 3 hours to visit him and not have sex so I initiate the contact. He made love to me something crazy and when I left he didn't answer his phone for over a week. You shouldn't really argue because they act like its nothing but deep down they be hurting like hell. Time will help y'all.
He's a Scorp Moon too, it's not like he doesn't have fucking depth of feeling-
it's just one of those things... some things work out, some don't. Gotta live and learn.
it's just one of those things... some things work out, some don't. Gotta live and learn.
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fighting via text and then radio silence for a day at most - then back to texting amicably then fighting- it's just bizarre.
We say things you would think are like the ultimate not nice things to each other and I think well that's it. Bridge burned.
And then I log in to Facebook for a bit of down time and he's liked my profile pic, my cover photo, my status update and a picture I shared...
It's just weird to me after I've just sent him like a ten page text equivalent of rage-ness and hurt, and he's rage texted back "go away" lol
and then I turn my mind to other things and he's all over my online presence like a rash...
Anyone? Is it a Cap thing or just crazy boy thing.