capricorn man having problems with drinking

I used to write last year on this site about my relationship with a Cap man, but to a different name;i lost my password and now iam writing under a different name.
Long story-short: iam a virgo who dated for aprox 1 year and half a Capricorn man.
From begining i had my doubts:at every date he drank 1, 2 ,3 beers.I didnt like it, but i thought i should give him a second chance, but same story,third and fourth time and so on.
At same point i said i cant agree with alcohol,myself iam teetotal,we broke up for 2 weeks and after his pleading we were again together.happened several times.
Now i hope this relationship is finish for good!his promises ,pleadings to make it again lives me like a rock.I wont give in, since i saw people destroyed by alcohool.
I think he is highy functioning alcoholic, but for sure i will not reunite with him.
Do you think at some point a Cap man he will figure out he is ruining his life?did any of you ,mannaged to escape from alcohol demon?
Thanks

Posted by rosa7
I used to write last year on this site about my relationship with a Cap man, but to a different name;i lost my password and now iam writing under a different name.
Long story-short: iam a virgo who dated for aprox 1 year and half a Capricorn man.
From begining i had my doubts:at every date he drank 1, 2 ,3 beers.I didnt like it, but i thought i should give him a second chance, but same story,third and fourth time and so on.
At same point i said i cant agree with alcohol,myself iam teetotal,we broke up for 2 weeks and after his pleading we were again together.happened several times.
Now i hope this relationship is finish for good!his promises ,pleadings to make it again lives me like a rock.I wont give in, since i saw people destroyed by alcohool.
I think he is highy functioning alcoholic, but for sure i will not reunite with him.
Do you think at some point a Cap man he will figure out he is ruining his life?did any of you ,mannaged to escape from alcohol demon?
Thanks

He doesn't see anything wrong with it and will probably never change.

I think you're being judgmental saying he's ruining his life. Besides, you're done with him. Why do you care? Move on and quit interfering with his business.

Frankly, I know people that have a drink or two every evening just to relax. They don't get drunk. They don't get abusive. They don't have hangovers. They aren't destroying relationships. They aren't ruining their lives.

Medical studies show that one drink a day (wine/beer, not liquor, and no more than two for a course of several hours) is actually quite healthy.

Teetotalers just piss me off with their judgmental ways.

*takes a sip of wine*

Now, if he's really abusing it, having hangovers, getting mean, etc.... that's a different story.

Like Misted said, he'll only get help when he hits rock bottom.

Getmisted is correct.
Do not dismiss that advice lightly.

I have just ended a five year relationship with a Cap sun, Scorp moon man. And I can tell you that the addiction or struggle with a disease like drug or alcohol addiction is a long journey that is never truly over. And I can guarantee you will have little to no impact on his mental health long term.

It doesn't matter what type of support you offer, do not get romantically involved with him until he has taken serious steps towards rehabilitation and recovery in a professional therapy or medical environment. Also AA - what ever works.
There are things he will need to do despite loving you that will cause you pain, which, if you can endure- will be quite possibly for naught in the long run my friend.
He loves you, he may love the idea of being in love with you, he may express regret during sober periods of his life. But the disease comes first.

This is assuming your point of view about his drinking is not skewed by the fact that you are a teetotaler yourself.
Which means you may exaggerate or overestimate his actual habits... based on a narrower perspective...

most alcoholics will never stop. My ex husband, the pisces sun/leo moon/aries venus/pisces mars, is a drug addict and alcoholic. When he is released from prison each and everytime, he keeps falling off the wagon, so even prison time doesn't help.

in the past, when i remember clearly, we would go together to AA meetings and even meet young and old individuals, and they were sooo happy to get off the wagon. A celebration of life. It felt good to be around them. I remember how my ex husband was so impressed and happy with this old man in his early 60s finally kicking the habit. He was white haired, white beared and a cowboy type of guy. He owned a ranch and invited all the AA meeting folks over. we celebrated his life of sobriety. with non alcoholic drinks.
sadly, he died a month later due to complications. It really devastated my ex husband. He was looking up to that guy.

Most people never kick the habit. It's so sad, but even prison time doesn't help some people.

So basically, if you can handle it. if you can stand the many many years of alcoholic abuse, then do so. It's up to you, your choice.

It's only the OPs opinion that he's an alcoholic.

She doesn't approve of drinking, so in her opinion anyone who drinks is an alcoholic.

Now, he might be, but she may be placing labels that don't apply. He hasn't been medically diagnosed with an addiction.

Posted by truecap
She doesn't approve of drinking, so in her opinion anyone who drinks is an alcoholic.

Now, he might be, but she may be placing labels that don't apply. He hasn't been medically diagnosed with an addiction.

you dont need to be medically diagnosed, truecap.

you can tell by their symptons.

I'm just saying she may be making assumptions.

but one, two, three beers isn't nothing though. from what she says.

but she's leaving out alot of information. Like what's wrong with him drinking a couple beers after work??

is he abusive?? does he hit her? what is it that is making her say this about him that she is repulsed.

I may have 3 beers this evening.

Oh no!!,I must be an alcoholic.

Posted by lisabethur8
but one, two, three beers isn't nothing though. from what she says.

but she's leaving out alot of information. Like what's wrong with him drinking a couple beers after work??

is he abusive?? does he hit her? what is it that is making her say this about him that she is repulsed.

Exactly. She labels but hasn't offered up any proof for her judgement

Hi and thank you for your comments.
He is working in the Army,i saw him several time intoxicated after work(his birthday,a colleague birthday,etc).But mostly he is drinking by himself ,at home.
I might be judgmental, but i gave him numerous time the cold shoulder when i saw him drank, but after some time i took him back.
When he is intoxicated he blames me for different things, trying to get a turnure from his beer talk we have at that moment.
I have been several times at his place,being nice and kind with his parents.Last time his mom just looked at me from top to toe-she knew i was upset( he was drank ), but i feel like she never have a word with him.She cooks, clean and do the laundry for him.
I cant stay in this type of relationship, if i cant help him in any way, just destroying myself.

Then leaving was the best thing for you. Quit worrying about it.

No, i am not drunk,i dont drink.Just english is not my native language.

Posted by truecap
Then leaving was the best thing for you. Quit worrying about it.

i agree with this.

sounds uncomfortable.

i hate to have difficulties with the in laws. I want a nice harmonious relationship with in laws.

so that alone, you see your "future" and it's like yuck. tension and discomfort with in laws, and the poor guy is drinking himself to oblivion every night.

It sounds sad though.

Yes i believe they can change. Mine cut waaaay down after a health scare earlier this year. It was on his own though. As much as i offer support, he's the one that needed to experience first hand how it was affecting his work and life.

I personally don't have anything against drinking a few responsibly btw.