dmyers
@dmyers
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 49 · Topics: 8
Why do you girls confuse us so?
Oh, though that my be the last thing on my post. It wasn't really the main topic of my question.
It was more: "Has she started to maybe have feelings for me again?" When she was walking me home - albeit only a short distance, I felt as if she wanted to stay with me. She didn't really have to walk me home - nor even walk me out the door.
It was more: "Has she started to maybe have feelings for me again?" When she was walking me home - albeit only a short distance, I felt as if she wanted to stay with me. She didn't really have to walk me home - nor even walk me out the door.
It seems like the two of you had a connection before and she was genuinely happy to you again. We can be known for picking up where we left off, so she probably was enjoying that moment of it feeling a bit how it use to be. Now she's back into her own little world. I wouldn't think too much more about that night or the days after.
I have to say if I took the time to walk you home, text you sayin nice to see you , and so forth , I thought about you in a way that means I want you to approach me as an alpha male. I dk yall history or situation or your zodiac sign, so I cant judge it, and like they say all caps are different plus im a cap with venus in sag so ill bet that im way more aggressive than other cap women so ill just blauntly ask you which would probably run you off(which is why she doesnt wanna say she likes you) do tell more about these missing pieces
Inanan04: Yes. We did have some connection. It was very good. And I think/felt she was genuinely happy that night. I.e. I didn't think she was putting on an act. Anyway, that was that night and a few weeks ago now.
24Capgal18: Unfortunately, I think we're pass that point of me approaching her. What I mean is that I've tried that. That was after a good run of her asking me out, introducing me to her friends, etc. I'd go to those and genuinely enjoyed her circle. We were "friends" at that time - but she knew I liked her all that time. About a month or two? of this, I decided to find out where we were headed. Initially, slowly. But I started to feel that it was a one-way relationship. I.e. when she's asking me to join her - it's good. But when I ask her out. She's cold. And she'd agree but in the last minute, she'll find an excuse not to come. Once, she even gave me a "my-dog-ate-my-homework" type excuse. So, I told her what I genuinely felt about her. She was only interested in friendship. And that's how I've been with her all this time.
After a few months, we were chatting on e-mail again - quite friendly. We were organising seeing a movie. As the day wore on, she invites me to her place for some drinks and a DVD instead. But her e-mail was compounded with a couple of topics. And her suggestion of watching a DVD was in the middle. My reply of "No, sorry" in the first line of the e-mail was to her first question - and my "yes" reply to the DVD invite was, I felt, overlooked. The date was cancelled immediately. I was incensed! Remember that this was months after I decided to just be friends with her. So when she apologised with a very lame excuse, I replied: "I'm fine with it." But I was seething. Maybe I should have given her a "WTF?!!" That's an emotion, I've not directed at her.
Mind you, I've copped some very confusing emotions from her. When we're out with friends or when we're just chatting on IM during work times, I'd get this immediate freeze from her - like I've done something wrong. And when I think what it could be, I always thought: "But that's trivial. Friends/mates do that." I never asked her about. I know she'll just turn it around with "I don't know what you mean? Are you crazy?" Make's me think that she's right sometimes.
Anyway, it's all casual and friendly at the moment. If anything was gonna happen, it should have happened a long time ago.
I'm Virgo/Libra cusp, Leo rising, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Venus.
24Capgal18: Unfortunately, I think we're pass that point of me approaching her. What I mean is that I've tried that. That was after a good run of her asking me out, introducing me to her friends, etc. I'd go to those and genuinely enjoyed her circle. We were "friends" at that time - but she knew I liked her all that time. About a month or two? of this, I decided to find out where we were headed. Initially, slowly. But I started to feel that it was a one-way relationship. I.e. when she's asking me to join her - it's good. But when I ask her out. She's cold. And she'd agree but in the last minute, she'll find an excuse not to come. Once, she even gave me a "my-dog-ate-my-homework" type excuse. So, I told her what I genuinely felt about her. She was only interested in friendship. And that's how I've been with her all this time.
After a few months, we were chatting on e-mail again - quite friendly. We were organising seeing a movie. As the day wore on, she invites me to her place for some drinks and a DVD instead. But her e-mail was compounded with a couple of topics. And her suggestion of watching a DVD was in the middle. My reply of "No, sorry" in the first line of the e-mail was to her first question - and my "yes" reply to the DVD invite was, I felt, overlooked. The date was cancelled immediately. I was incensed! Remember that this was months after I decided to just be friends with her. So when she apologised with a very lame excuse, I replied: "I'm fine with it." But I was seething. Maybe I should have given her a "WTF?!!" That's an emotion, I've not directed at her.
Mind you, I've copped some very confusing emotions from her. When we're out with friends or when we're just chatting on IM during work times, I'd get this immediate freeze from her - like I've done something wrong. And when I think what it could be, I always thought: "But that's trivial. Friends/mates do that." I never asked her about. I know she'll just turn it around with "I don't know what you mean? Are you crazy?" Make's me think that she's right sometimes.
Anyway, it's all casual and friendly at the moment. If anything was gonna happen, it should have happened a long time ago.
I'm Virgo/Libra cusp, Leo rising, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Venus.
You know what you make a good point but naw if she is takin her time to get to know ya then maybe she has some deep process of thoughts bundled up i n her emotions . but either way it goes then no body thats a cap is gonna go through the extremes but i speakin for me
Yup. Definitely Friend-Zoned. Hahah! Oh well.
Leave her alone, seriously..not in a negative way or implying you should never talk to her again, just do your own thing, live your own world, let the positive energy of it lure her back into it, not your neediness (capri girls can turn cold when they sense you're being needy)
One more thing to remember about cap girls is, dont draw any definite conclusions on her "spur-of-the-moment" feelings, just take those moments for what they are, enjoy them and continue with your own life without her. That way she will probably start missing you more and more, she'll start associating you with "spending time with him = fun = I want to be around him more often"
Appearing desperate is the worst thing you can do to a capri girl. They can smell this by MILES.
One more thing to remember about cap girls is, dont draw any definite conclusions on her "spur-of-the-moment" feelings, just take those moments for what they are, enjoy them and continue with your own life without her. That way she will probably start missing you more and more, she'll start associating you with "spending time with him = fun = I want to be around him more often"
Appearing desperate is the worst thing you can do to a capri girl. They can smell this by MILES.
Actually, I have left her alone. It was her that invited me to her place - then cancelled. It was her who contacted me about that party but I knew she was going to be there. It was her contacted me on NYs day after non-communications over that X-mas - NY week. And never have I shown any disappointments to her when she's cancelled on those times.
You gotta understand, we were quite close friends before. I knew her problems with her home, work and friends. And as friends, you gotta understand that it's gotta go both ways. When I'm feeling stress, I should be able to be as comfortable to voice them as she is to voice hers. Not the case. And not once have I asked why that is. I just took her as she was. Only that one time did I tell her my actual feelings. And even days after that, we were back as friends.
This how I see her: she likes guys around her. Though she IS picky. I'm lucky that I'm in her circle. She needs that comfort. But when anyone tries to get close to her, she turns cold. I know that I'm not the only one that's experienced this: 1 other in our group and another we don't see anymore. We're all good friends - enough differences but also a good lot of commonalities.
Also, this is not a Cap-specific thing. Everything I've read (the last time I was on these forums) in the different Signs threads, are all the same: flaky, non-committal, disappears, etc... It's quite funny how the same all the dicussions are.
Which reminds me, she's asked me a couple of times in the past why I couldn't go to something she asked me to accompany her... I always valid excuses: Once, I was injured and in pain after a full day of footy. But when I ask her the same once: she said..."I don't know what you're talking about?" She's not that emotionally dumb not to know/feel.
Anyway...
You gotta understand, we were quite close friends before. I knew her problems with her home, work and friends. And as friends, you gotta understand that it's gotta go both ways. When I'm feeling stress, I should be able to be as comfortable to voice them as she is to voice hers. Not the case. And not once have I asked why that is. I just took her as she was. Only that one time did I tell her my actual feelings. And even days after that, we were back as friends.
This how I see her: she likes guys around her. Though she IS picky. I'm lucky that I'm in her circle. She needs that comfort. But when anyone tries to get close to her, she turns cold. I know that I'm not the only one that's experienced this: 1 other in our group and another we don't see anymore. We're all good friends - enough differences but also a good lot of commonalities.
Also, this is not a Cap-specific thing. Everything I've read (the last time I was on these forums) in the different Signs threads, are all the same: flaky, non-committal, disappears, etc... It's quite funny how the same all the dicussions are.
Which reminds me, she's asked me a couple of times in the past why I couldn't go to something she asked me to accompany her... I always valid excuses: Once, I was injured and in pain after a full day of footy. But when I ask her the same once: she said..."I don't know what you're talking about?" She's not that emotionally dumb not to know/feel.
Anyway...
Dude, what the hell do you want with this girl? decide that for yourself first. If you want her romantically then stop acting like a friend. You're the man here, she would want you to be her rock, not the whiny friend that is burdening her with unnecessary emotional baggage.
Dude. That's what I'm trying to say. I've not dumped my emotional baggage on her at all. Like I said before, I tried once 'coz I needed a friend. She dissed me. Didn't try again. And I have been that rock/friend for her. I knew all that shit that she used to have to get through.
What are you not getting here? This is a one way friendship. It's all her. I can't get a shoe in. The one time I did do the "maaan thing" and told her I had feelings for, she replied that's not what she was after. And I accepted that. (I don't expect her to suddenly turn around and change her mind.) We were quite good as friend immediately after. Then of course, contact started to slow-down. BUt that's normal. I have my own life, interests and other friends. But we never cut ties EVER at all. We always had small contacts with each other sometimes with our groups sometimes TXTs/email - but not as frequent as before. Then those few months of hardly any contact at all described in my first post.
That one time we did have contact. She invited me to her place (in my other long post). But then she cancelled that. Then in my other long post to you, I decribed how she was the one who initiated contact with me for that party when she walked me home. Then a NYs day TXT after a 2-week or so no contact across that the X-mas holidays.
Mate, go back, re-read it if you will. I'm only emotional on paper here because I'm writing this now. But in her eyes, I've always been solid. I've always made sure that my interactions with her are as a friend. I even play-argue with her a lot. Opposing political views. But of course internally, I was/am hurt that it's all one way. No wants a one-way relationship: either as partners or friends. Even now, I've not dumped on her. I've dumped on you guys instead.
And I've not been dawdling. Though writing this may make it seem that way. I play in several guy/girl teams of sports and have a couple of different group of movie friends. So I've gotten my highs from other girls. And no, I'm no playa. I'm single so I enjoy the company that I enjoy.
I only came back here because of a fucking 10-minutes of her walking me home. Shiiite! Admitedly, it's easy to assume stuff about others across the internet. So I'll put that as cause of me feeling the need to defend myself from you.
What are you not getting here? This is a one way friendship. It's all her. I can't get a shoe in. The one time I did do the "maaan thing" and told her I had feelings for, she replied that's not what she was after. And I accepted that. (I don't expect her to suddenly turn around and change her mind.) We were quite good as friend immediately after. Then of course, contact started to slow-down. BUt that's normal. I have my own life, interests and other friends. But we never cut ties EVER at all. We always had small contacts with each other sometimes with our groups sometimes TXTs/email - but not as frequent as before. Then those few months of hardly any contact at all described in my first post.
That one time we did have contact. She invited me to her place (in my other long post). But then she cancelled that. Then in my other long post to you, I decribed how she was the one who initiated contact with me for that party when she walked me home. Then a NYs day TXT after a 2-week or so no contact across that the X-mas holidays.
Mate, go back, re-read it if you will. I'm only emotional on paper here because I'm writing this now. But in her eyes, I've always been solid. I've always made sure that my interactions with her are as a friend. I even play-argue with her a lot. Opposing political views. But of course internally, I was/am hurt that it's all one way. No wants a one-way relationship: either as partners or friends. Even now, I've not dumped on her. I've dumped on you guys instead.
And I've not been dawdling. Though writing this may make it seem that way. I play in several guy/girl teams of sports and have a couple of different group of movie friends. So I've gotten my highs from other girls. And no, I'm no playa. I'm single so I enjoy the company that I enjoy.
I only came back here because of a fucking 10-minutes of her walking me home. Shiiite! Admitedly, it's easy to assume stuff about others across the internet. So I'll put that as cause of me feeling the need to defend myself from you.
So youre just basically venting here? no problem with that at all. She's not going to change her ways for you though, so you either accept her for who she is or just dont bother with her, or having a friendship with her. If her behaviour is causing you so much stress, then move on to better things/people. You dont need this shit in your life.
Shaks is right. I experienced almost the exact same thing from a cap friend (aqua venus *shudders*). We had been friends since high school and we only became flirty and touchy-feely in our mid-20's. Basically, I had to do what Shaks suggested. Move on and stop fucking around.
I laid it all out, things were awkward for a few months, but now we're good. He's the biggest flirt in the world but I have to keep reality checking him. I have NO tolerance for his bs anymore and now whenever we make plans he is Plan B instead of the main course (though he doesn't know it) because he turned into a total flake.
He completely respects me now and he acts like a true friend if I ever need him for anything serious.
I laid it all out, things were awkward for a few months, but now we're good. He's the biggest flirt in the world but I have to keep reality checking him. I have NO tolerance for his bs anymore and now whenever we make plans he is Plan B instead of the main course (though he doesn't know it) because he turned into a total flake.
He completely respects me now and he acts like a true friend if I ever need him for anything serious.
Posted by dmyers
Yup. Definitely Friend-Zoned. Hahah! Oh well.
+1
she just wants a hang-out buddy...that's it.
sometimes caps dont like to adance on those friends of the opposite sex cuz they know it can work and wanna try something more challenging where that person can make them pullout their other side (basically their betteer sides) Normally when you stick around, you tend to see that we dont have good luck with our love life so you may end up becoming a romantic partner, she is not leanin towards it yet . tell you about a guy I know likes me that stays across the street from my mom . I never gave him a chance because I knew he really liked me . I always could see his potentials but I didnt wanna go there, Because it is a very good friend . But I knew it would work because he knows me and I know him, but if we had sex then I would become how I am with people that I have feelings for and the frienship wouldnt be the same anymore, and would he still be there like that for me? I understand her because I have her placements and she is not bein cruel, it has been rehearses in her head about how it could go
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So, I've have this friend I have not seen since 4 months ago. Before that 3 months. We parted with the understanding that we would simply be friends. Our contact with each other have been limited to e-mail or TXTs and those two times.
Until about a month ago. I saw her at a friend's party. We knew that we would see each other then. It was dinner at a restaurant. After, we went back to our friend's place. All through the night, we were just being "mates": inconsequential banter and playful arguments about some news stories in our area. So we both (and the whole party) had a good night - like we always do when we see each other.
Anyway, after I said my goodbyes, she walked me out the door. Then she walked me home. I don't live far from our friend's house but it wasn't just next door either: about 5 minutes. Anyway, I didn't challenge her about this walk. E.g. "What are you doing?" Nor did I assume anything about or questioned our friendship. E.g. "I thought we were just friends." And so, I simply said my good byes with "Good night and thanks for a fun evening." Hugged. Cheek-kissed. And we went our separate ways. The next day she TXTed me with "It was great to see you again last night." And I returned the compliment. The next few days we had friendly banter over e-mail and FB every other day or so. Back to how we were but with a little more frequency and flirtiness. It started to slow-down this last week.
So, I try to reconnect again - but slowly: an invite to the movies with others from our circle of friends. One line reply from her: "I can't. Am busy." And that's it.
Someone, please tell me I'm over-reacting and I should just move on. I can't be hanging around you Cap kids forever - which seems to be happening. (As I read this in black and white, my pragmatic self is definitely saying: move on. There is nothing there.)