will he ever come back?

Me n this cap guy had a "thing" for more than a year. He was never very communicative but he told me he likes me n I was sort of insecure about him and I was afraid of anything getting serious between us, even inside I felt crazy about him but pretended like he meant casual to me. One day I dumped him over a silly thing and told him not to call me again. He tried to talk to me but I just gave up on him because I was sick of waiting for him to ask me out to be his gf. I thought he was fooling me with all these love songs n hints that he wants me for serious. Its been 6 months I haven't seen him or talked to him although he still called me in april but I didnt pick up. Recently I saw him on facebook (but he's not my friend there) picture with another girl in his profile pics so I thought she must be his girlfriend. I just can't get over him, I dated a few guys in that period n I was getting over him but now I realize I need him more than anything but hell never know what I feel for him n I think it would be too late to do anything anyway unless he'd come back. Do u tnink he might come back or he's really over me?

We both hurt each other, I wasn't playing with him, I was just insecure because Im pretty much a lot younger than him. I'm just not sure whether its my fault, whether he ever had feelings for me or it was just a mind game he created in my head to make me believe. But I thought I'm too smart to be fooled like this but then again maybe im not. I really wish I knew how he felt n if I knew it I wouldnt have taken such a coarse action as dumping him out of the blue over stupid thing when I had another reason which was just too many emotions n confusion in me about what was going on between us. I was weakened then but now I feel stronger n id be handle it all. Only if I knew it wasnt too late..

Sorry for my mispellings cuz im typing from my phone..

I just can't get over him, I dated a few guys in that period n I was getting over him but now I realize I need him more than anything but hell never know what I feel for him n I think it would be too late to do anything anyway unless he'd come back. Do u tnink he might come back or he's really over me?

You don't really need him. You just want the attention. The ego-gratification of knowing that there's someone out there pinning for you.
But now that he has moved on ---- as Shaks said, after being fooled, dumped and repeatedly ignored by you ---- you can't handle the fact that there's no one chasing you like the way he did.

You don't miss him as a person. You just miss the attention.

Move on. HE certainly has.

I just miss the moments we had. I felt something so deep from the beginning. I know I wont stop loving him even I move on. I might have hurted him if he ever cared about me, idont know about that. But he hurt me too, and I did a right thing by dumping him so I won't be confused n insecure n depressed anymore, so I could forget pain n discover myself who I really am, but I just cant stop thinking of him with someone else. One time it would seem he's pushing us towards getting into relationship n then hed just stop calling me for days and weeks. I really couldn't cope with this. I thought he was just not interested or im a good players catch. Its been awhile so he def must have moved on. Now I decided its best for me to move out of the city cuz it caused me too much of bad crap, not just talking about cap, but other people. I feel like I m surrounded by bad energy, someone has cursed me so I would fail in everything. I don't even know maybe cuz I havent been in church for 4 years n stopped believing in god, but its a different story now.

Sorry for bothering but im very spiritual person n I think I have sined before god for forgetting to attend church for a long period of time. And its true, since I stopped attending lethargies on sundays all the bad must have turned in for me. Money problems, conflicts in family, so called "friends" turned their back on me. I lost interest in everything, even in studies. I'd hear people talking crap about me, when they know no shit about me. I guess everyone has a black line in their life, when everything u do seems to fail. Literally, there's no one I could really call my best friend, my mom is the only person I confide in and trust. So I guess im just putting too much self pity on myself when I think about cap guy. I was really trying to hear from this board that there might be a chance some life situation would connect us back together even I have realized that he moved on and im just another past experience to him.it just hurts a little or actually more like hell.

Im just trying to figure out whether cap ever liked me or he was just keeping me as an option. I'm not sure if the girl hes with in the pics is his gf because on his status it says single. I should of moved on a year ago when I met him to prevent myself from all this crap. I know we both have egos and none of us decided to yield. Now I just need courage to throw out all of my cds because we both listen to the same music n every song just reminds me of him. I wish it was a bit easier than that, I just hate that its been 6 fuckin months n I still couldnt get over him n he lives so close to me, I just get so sensitive and emotional, im afraid I couldnt handle seeing him kissing someone else.its just how I am I get crazy inside.

CrazyDiamond, you need to realize that you are resposible for your own unhappiness. Don't blame other people, a curse, God, the city, or your love interest for the way things have gone. Take responibility for your actions and learn from it. That's the only practical thing you can do now.

Moving away isn't going to change anything, you need to work on yourself and learn to be a stronger person.

You said you were crazy for him but did you tell him? Did you let him know how you felt? I can't stress it enough but guys need to hear those words as much as girls do.

Once again you are feeling sorry for yourself but stop it. Take action. Wishing for a relationship isn't going to make it happen. TAKE ACTION!

Tell this dude how you feel and that you are SORRY for hurting him. Hey may accept you back. If he does, than great. If he does not than wish him well and move on.

Ah I really need him back but im so afraid of being ignored or rejected..do you think if Id text him a msg and write in it my feelings might make me look stupid? I dont have the courage and strength to call him or visit him..I've never been so upset n depressed in my life as im now.

I already texted him. I told him I really want him n need him n I said sorry if I ever did anything to hurt him.

Ok this was my msg: It took me awhile to realize some things and maybe I was stupid and confused and didnt know what I was doing but I want and need you so bad..I really do... I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you.

Now after telling it, I feel much easier inside. Even he doesnt want me anymore, at least he'll know how I felt about him. I got off my pride n ego only because I couldnt handle the pain anymore. How long do u think it might take to get a call or msg from him? And if he doesnt contact me back, should I consider he doesn't want me or he wants me to try harder?

Oh he called me back. From his voice he seemed happy. But he didnt say anything about what I wrote him. He was neutral n just started asking me how was everything n school n stuff. But he was working so he said hell call me back later. What's that suppose to mean? He didnt say anything about my msg..

Maybe I should of said something when we were on the phone, but since he seemed in a happy and bit quite nervous tone, I decided to let him talk instead of initiating the conversation.

This is the player? The guy you talked about months ago?

No

I'm getting desperate feeling of why he hasn't called yet after he said he will call later. Maybe I should do something instead..

I'm getting desperate feeling of why he hasn't called yet after he said he will call later. Maybe I should do something instead..

I'm getting desperate feeling of why he hasn't called yet after he said he will call later. Maybe I should do something instead..

Sorry I accidentally made too many posts. Sb you're right, I'm lonely but most of all I feel jealousy imagining him with someone else. I need him in my life, because he made me feel good like no one else. I love him n I wanna try it over again. He used to say, I have an attitude n maybe he was right. If he's over me ill understand n move on. But how can I know? How can we both know if we never told each other what we felt...this situation is hard. I'm prepared for whatever outcome of it. I feel better that I told him. Its now up to him to figure out things. But there was never a day I wouldn't think about him even I dumped him, I still wanted him, I was afraid of rejection..

I don't wanna seem clingy or anything but he left me without knowing whether we can still make it work or no. An honest n straight conclusion from him about our situation would have been most appreciated but he said nothing about it. It seemed from his tone he reacted to it like I was some old buddy who texted him after a long period just to see what's good n new. I'm being pathetic. I'm just wondering whether he still cares at all.

Although he was nervous, I was able to sense that.

But what if there's a chance. Not everything is same and not every problem has the same solution. I've been depressed for these fuckin 6 months and I'm trying to get my f ucking life together.. Its not the rule to move on after breakup or dump, u gotta have at least one attempt to try to make it work n then move on. All I did was told him what I always wanted to tell him but never had courage or my own right moment. U just don't know what I feel, cuz I bet you never were in love.

Its just the way I express myself. Whatever that feeling is called is not letting me sleep at nights. Everything would change if I knew he felt the same way. But ah I'm just a poor idiot..the more I go on these boards the less real it seems to be. Are u saying it all to make me believe I'm not in love because u already see the outcome that he's over me n that I'd stop bothering to post in this forum? U think it will make me feel less pain? No..

u tripping....

I'm just gonna see what he's gonna say. If he's over me, ill push myself again to move on and this time, ill do it for real. Ok I don't wanna say that I'm depressed. I do have good moments. I'm just trapped between ups n downs lately.
I think ill be fine either way. I just wanted to let him know n whatever happens..happens.

I'd never dare to break anyones relationship, but they're not a couple just what me n him used to be. If he never had anything for me, why did he still call me in april. Why did his cousin call me in march to ask if I ever liked cappy but he basically called me to see if I'd wanna go to movies with him? Was there a reason to spy on me?
When cap called me yesterday he said he got a new phone n had lost my number, but he seemed happy. He wasn't surprised when he heard it was me, its like he knew, I'm sure he couldn't forget my last 4 digits. I know he still wants me, his intimate voice could reveal it.

Ok and what happens if he comes back? Why do u all people are so negative? I'm not the only person who did this. There plenty of ppl who tried to get back with someone n either failed or succeeded. I won't show him anymore interest cuz that msg was enough. Its all up to him, its not gonna stop me seeing other people if I want. My friends told me long ago to tell him how I feel but I didn't. I have this moto "if u do it, ull regret it, if u don't do it, ull regret it, so u might as well just do it". Now I know it might be late, but there's some chance its not. Please don't tell me anymore to move on. I know what I'm doing I'm a big kid n I'm responsible for my own actions. Eric11 pointed out that being straight is best. So at least I tried for once in my lifetime to do something myself. U wouldn't believe but I always played hard to get with guys n maybe that was my mistake.

No therapist will cure me, I'm the only person who can do it, only if I don't get lazy n discouraged. I wanna explore n try things. I wanna do it all myself n I'm sick when ppl create some rules, what makes them think they're smart. My dad would tell me I did the right thing. Gosh were all so different n we think differently. I respect people who are not afraid to do what they feel n think is best to do. Who are not isolated by some rules of how to live, people who are free spirited.

Thanks ur right, I won't argue n I shouldn't of posted here cuz I see I'm not very welcome here. my question was more like what are the pros n coins if hell come back but that was when I haven't thought to contact him. Now since I did, its a different story, but thank you all, because I really want another chance and if he doesn't come back, oh well ill of course definately won't waste my time n move on.

So ur saying I already lost? 🙂

Crazy Diamond, I am not sure what sign you are, but I can sympathise with you on the Cap experience, read my post "Caps/Aqua FWB closure.." ,and you wll see that to some extent, I have been going through (kinda)the same thing that you've been going through..

Trust me, let him go, It's not advice I myself would have wanted a year ago, but now (thanks to my self-esteem rising from it's coma,) I have had no choice but to drop him like nuclear waste!

It's time to shift the Boundaries of Power...!(depending on who had it in the first place... And if they 'played' their cards right...It was probably a Cap..!)

U certainly misunderstood me, I was the one who dumped him n he was the one who kept trying to contact me. What would u do if someone dumped u? U would try to move on n so did he I guess but my msg was an apology for what I did. I treated him like a crap n I'm sorry cuz he didn't deserve it n yes its understandable if he won't take it to the account, but all I did was tried to build back something I destroyed that's it. I'm sure msg shocked him because he wouldn't have expected it from me, he most likely thought I'm with someone else n I don't feel anything for him

CrazyDiamond, a year ago I was exactly where you are, I know for a fact that Caps will stop at nothing to be with who they want to be with, regardless of how 'badly' you may or may not have treated them. Trust me, Caps are not fragile creatures. They have this uncanny knack of trying to make you feel guilty. My Cap ditched me to go back to his girl, I left him to it, then he had the cheek to ring me and accuse ME of dumping HIM! A cleverer Cap will turn things around so you end up apologising to them! (I very ashamedly speak from experience!)

Not this time round though, once you see through a Cap Players' game, it becomes very predictable, and almost takes the Sport out if it for me!!

On a more serious note, do you really want to waste any more time on this man? Cos trust me, that is time you will NEVER get back...

Posted by CrazyDiamond
Ah I really need him back but im so afraid of being ignored or rejected..do you think if Id text him a msg and write in it my feelings might make me look stupid? I dont have the courage and strength to call him or visit him..I've never been so upset n depressed in my life as im now.

No that is the wrong thing to do. Taking action isn't writing a text message. It's actually taking the effort to tell him in person or over the phone. Yes you might get rejected but I think that's the risk you have to take.

I think if this act scares you, you are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone yet. You sound like you are a sensitive person. Fear is what destroyed the relationship in the first place. It is something you have to over come.

Stay single until you don't need anybody. The fact that you need him is a warning sign of darker things. Wanting and needing him are two different things. Totally two different ball games.

Posted by CrazyDiamond
Sorry I accidentally made too many posts. Sb you're right, I'm lonely but most of all I feel jealousy imagining him with someone else. I need him in my life, because he made me feel good like no one else. I love him n I wanna try it over again. He used to say, I have an attitude n maybe he was right. If he's over me ill understand n move on. But how can I know? How can we both know if we never told each other what we felt...this situation is hard. I'm prepared for whatever outcome of it. I feel better that I told him. Its now up to him to figure out things. But there was never a day I wouldn't think about him even I dumped him, I still wanted him, I was afraid of rejection..

Well, CD I recommend you tell him how you feel the next time you talk to him. Don't wait for him to initiate it because that's a no go. You love him, you tell him. If he rejects you than deal with it like a grown up. It is better to be rejected than to never know where you stand. Good luck.

Posted by CrazyDiamond
Thanks ur right, I won't argue n I shouldn't of posted here cuz I see I'm not very welcome here. my question was more like what are the pros n coins if hell come back but that was when I haven't thought to contact him. Now since I did, its a different story, but thank you all, because I really want another chance and if he doesn't come back, oh well ill of course definately won't waste my time n move on.

Hey CD you are certainly most welcome here. The problem is that I feel you expect us to deliver emotional support. This is what your friends are for. We are just strangers with opinions and we give them if you ask us.

CrazyD, you are the only gal with the power to end your emotional affliction. Remember no one can read your mind. This guy isn't going to know what you think unless you tell him yes? Is it scary to be vulnerable? Yes, but the sooner you get over the fear the sooner you can find inner strength to just take a chance. The worse this guy can do is say no or nothing at all. Big deal, you'll live to love another day. 🙂

Its all understood. U guys can see that I'm really confused at this point. Its not about us being together, its whether he still feels anything and MA when you said that they can flip the matter n make it look like ur guilty, I relate it to my thoughts, but I can't make a conclusion without really knowing. Idk. What I know for sure is that I won't contact him, unless he does. I know I'd go too far, I already said enough when I texted him @ 10 am. I couldn't sleep all night n I decided I can't do it anymore he has to know it. its a second day n my eyes are still poppy. Idk why I bursted out only 6 months later. I realized I'm not over him yet even I'd think about him really often. I do have a big feeling its most likely over, but ill live through it, its not the end of the world, I still have to fight for myself and study hard. I guess I'm really selfish but I always wished hed wait for me n feared hell move on, but I realized he decided to give up on me n move on cuz he's a human not a puppy u can tight near urself n keep. I understand I wasn't I guess that much important to be waited on. Plus he probably knew I was dating this other guy.. Whatever happens is what happens.. Ill be fine 🙂 I'm virgo by the way to the person who asked about my sign.

Its not about us being together, its whether he still feels anything

You want him back because if you didn't it wouldn't matter how he feels, personally I wouldn't tell him anything but if you must then tell him and let him decide for himself, my prediction is he will not give you what you want, he most likely will silently decline and move on, even if he has feelings he will not act right away, most likely he will save this issue for later when he's less tied up with others, he will not be forthcoming with his feelings, they have a very hard exterior which is very soft inside so they gaurd there feelings fiercely and he will most likely deem your behavior as unattractive and out of control and choose to keep his distance until he can figure out why your approaching him like this, he will weigh it all out because they can be very suspicious of motives.

It's quite simple crazydiamond, if he wanted you he would come and get you and because he's not well that's your answer. Can you accept it? Most likely you can't. He isn't interested in how you feel or he would talk to you and work this through, you will only walk away more hurt and rejected but maybe that's the way it has to be for to you stop obsessing.

Your back and forth behavior tells a cap man you are not stable emotionally, if you want to run a cap man off show emotional instability, embarrass him and he will LEAVE... if he can't predict who you are emotionally he will not be all that interested, flattered yes but interested no. Cap man will NOT do this back and forth take me back crap with women unless he's still has feelings, they don't like drama especially with women they aren't completely involved with, if he gives into you, you will have to damn near plead and beg and prostrate your whole damn body to get him to change his mind lol

" if he gives into you, you will have to damn near plead and beg and prostrate your whole damn body to get him to change his mind lol"

Ur kidding haha

Hehe I wish I was 14, it was easier back then n i didn't have any problems with men. I know I guess I was just insecure when I did it. I do regret it n I can't spell it out how much sorry I truly am. But I do understand that if he won't contact me, he's not interested anymore.
I always pretended to be confident, even I had insecuritues inside, I guess the msg with such an unexpected emotional outburst surprised him in unattractive way.

I know, I learned a big lesson with pain n tears. I guess I had too much pride in myself. Friends told me to tell him how I feel n stop being chickeny. What's left is to regret it, I'm a big idiot. Probably no one could imagine that I'm struggling over some guy. People think that I'm hot confident girl living a fairy tale, but they have no clue haha

Its all cool sagigoat! 😉

I mean I definately decided not to make any move towards him, if he calls me to talk about it n why I dumped him, ill explain him just like I did on this board. I don't know if I'd be able to verbalize him what I feel in direct conversation, but he already got the msg n most likely he's analyzing it or he's cracking up about it. I really can't tell. He's a smart idiot.

Idk whether this might give some information, maybe someone understands the birth chart signs. I found out that his moon is in taurus, venus in sagittarius, and rising is in gemini. I conclude it does reflect his personality because he's very outgoing..

I was thinking maybe there's more I could know. .

Posted by CrazyDiamond
Its all understood. U guys can see that I'm really confused at this point. Its not about us being together, its whether he still feels anything and MA when you said that they can flip the matter n make it look like ur guilty, I relate it to my thoughts, but I can't make a conclusion without really knowing. Idk. What I know for sure is that I won't contact him, unless he does. I know I'd go too far, I already said enough when I texted him @ 10 am. I couldn't sleep all night n I decided I can't do it anymore he has to know it. its a second day n my eyes are still poppy. Idk why I bursted out only 6 months later. I realized I'm not over him yet even I'd think about him really often. I do have a big feeling its most likely over, but ill live through it, its not the end of the world, I still have to fight for myself and study hard. I guess I'm really selfish but I always wished hed wait for me n feared hell move on, but I realized he decided to give up on me n move on cuz he's a human not a puppy u can tight near urself n keep. I understand I wasn't I guess that much important to be waited on. Plus he probably knew I was dating this other guy.. Whatever happens is what happens.. Ill be fine 🙂 I'm virgo by the way to the person who asked about my sign.

Virgo?

BINGO! I knew it! I'm never late 😉

Posted by sagigoat
u know i almost posted earlier before you told your sign - geez if you are not insane you are waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy more nuttier than caps you must be a 100% virgo lol 😛



that's why some caps cannot deal with some pure breed virgos. reject someone you love out of insecurity?? treat them like crap out of insecurity or whatever handicap you have dealing with emotions ?? cannot make up your mind until after you dumped him for 6 months and then cannot take the fact he has moved on?? cannot bear to see him happy finally now you want him to stroke your fragile ego saying yes he still loves you so you can bring him down again?? what kinda of love this is— either you are a 14 years old child or you only love yourself. ppl who cannot appreciate another until s/he is gone deserves misery.

Before I say this, I just want you to know CrazyDiamond that its nothing at all against you, okay. But ...

To Sagigoat:

You have described virgos completely. LOL! Totally lol, you know them about as well as I do LOL!!! After they stop talking to the person, then they realize, "Oh, this is the love of my life" ... after the person has changed and moved on. And they can't take it. And if a virgo loves you, they will make sure that no one else will love you, thats for sure. I'm experiences that right now with an ex of mine -- how dare he spread rumors about me!!! The nerve of him, just because I won't be with him :O!

Phew, sorry, that was a rant lol. But yeah, you have described virgos, they only want you to be happy with them, after they've rejected and did all the other things you've mensioned out of insercurity ... wow, good going girlie 😉

I do get very impulsive, argumentative and provoked easily. My cousin is virgo, but were like day n night different from each other. I'm probably the most stubborn person in our family and well cap used to say I have an attitude n sometimes hed tease me about it or play around, but he didn't leave me even I was that way. Its also the second time I dumped like this, after the first time, it was a shorter period but we got back to each other again, and then when he started talking of relationship, how he missed me n hed wish he could see me more. But then my monster jumped out of me again n this time I thought it was over forever. I don't know what's gonna happen now. Maybe I should change something in me..

The first time, he pissed me off n he went crawling after me n apologizing but next time I just didn't give him a chance.. I don't know, I'm really not a drama queen but I do over react quickly..I just look back n think it was silly.